Jump to content

The wrong side of 30


Fox Sake

Recommended Posts

Im 35 today and I feel really blue about it. It’s put me on the wrong side of 30. For some reason it’s given me anxiety. I’m not ready for it yet. 🦊
 

 Does anyone else ever have this? I feel like being in that bracket of 35+ doesn’t fit me and will effect my dating life (currently talking to someone long distance but who knows where that will lead, if anywhere cos it’s very early days)  

Link to post
Share on other sites
Blind-Sided

Not sure where you are going with this.  you are still young.  Generally at 35 you still have physical health, and you don't hurt just getting off the couch.  You aren't wrinkly, and gray... and still have the energy to do what you want.  My self... I'm bald, and facial hair is gray.  My knee hurts, and my back hurts every time I get up. They say you are only as old as you feel... and I feel like a bag of boiled crap.  LOL.

With that said... I was worried about my age (47) and looks... but I learned one important thing after my divorce. The majority of women like older guys, and want that maturity and handsomeness that comes with a little age.  I was introduced to 6 different girls after my divorce... only one was my age.  Four of them were around 8~10 years younger, and one was 21 years younger.  None of them said anything other than handsome to me. 

As an FYI... I've been dating my new GF for 6 months, and she is 26 years old. 

Don't worry about your age... you are in a great place. 

Edited by Blind-Sided
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
2 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

Not sure where you are going with this.  you are still young.  Generally at 35 you still have physical health, and you don't hurt just getting off the couch.  You aren't wrinkly, and gray... and still have the energy to do what you want.  My self... I'm bald, and facial hair is gray.  My knee hurts, and my back hurts every time I get up. They say you are only as old as you feel... and I feel like a bag of boiled crap.  LOL.

With that said... I was worried about my age (47) and looks... but I learned one important thing after my divorce. The majority of women like older guys, and want that maturity and handsomeness that comes with a little age.  I was introduced to 6 different girls after my divorce... only one was my age.  Four of them were around 8~10 years younger, and one was 21 years younger.  None of them said anything other than handsome to me. 

As an FYI... I've been dating my new GF for 6 months, and she is 26 years old. 

Don't worry about your age... you are in a great place. 

Thank you fir sharing,  that’s actually really motivating and makes me feel a bit better. I’m not sure where I’m going with it either , I just know it made me feel quite sad realising that I’m older than I feel/ am confident/ comfortable with. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Blind-Sided
23 minutes ago, Fox Sake said:

I just know it made me feel quite sad realising that I’m older than I feel/ am confident/ comfortable with. 

I get it.  My actual age never fit me.  I was mentally younger than my age.  Even now... in my personal life... I ride sport bikes, Supermortards, and collect vintage video games.   (you can see Link in my avatar) But in my professional life... I'm a suit wearing, highly respected consultant. (My physical age fits for that job) For me... 50 is the scary number.  When I hit 35, 40, 45... none of those were an issue. 

Just enjoy life, and don't worry about the actual number... and the people around you won't worry about it either. 

Oh.... Happy Birthday. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
11 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

I get it.  My actual age never fit me.  I was mentally younger than my age.  Even now... in my personal life... I ride sport bikes, Supermortards, and collect vintage video games.   (you can see Link in my avatar) But in my professional life... I'm a suit wearing, highly respected consultant. (My physical age fits for that job) For me... 50 is the scary number.  When I hit 35, 40, 45... none of those were an issue. 

Just enjoy life, and don't worry about the actual number... and the people around you won't worry about it either. 

Oh.... Happy Birthday. 

Honestly - thank you so much for your reply’s and relating to how I’m feeling. I really appreciate it.  Maybe I’m worrying about nothing  , and reading what you have said has actually made a difference to my day :) 

ps thanks for the wishes too 🦊

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe it's just me but once I crossed 35 it's as if time sped up. Before I knew it I was crossing 40, 45, etc.....

Maybe it was the way I looked at things on a monthly basis for paying bills or perhaps it was the block of time that the daily grind of five days a week creates. Since I retired, I feel like I'm on a slip-and-slide. My wife commented yesterday she couldn't believe we've been retired five years. I just grunted affirmative.

So my advice Mr. Fox is to invest in your life like it's the stock market. Cultivate people that may not pay off short term but will have a big impact on your future. Fill your life with eclectic tastes and expose yourself to different places in this world and different people. Take chances on things you think you would not like even if you fail. It's usually our failures that clearly define our goals. All this experience is cumulative and will change the way you look at life in subtle ways. It will depend on your core principles as to whether it's for good or bad.

You are at the prime point in life. Enjoy it.

 

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers

Happy birthday, Leo! 🥳

I like your posts and your positive thinking. 

I don't mind getting older anymore. I finally figured out that if you're vibrant and life loving, you'll find cool people to date and befriend at any age.

35 is still quite young. The world is your oyster!

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Happy birthday! I turned 37 a few weeks ago and felt kind of the same way. But mostly I just think it's the frustration of time passing while the world is in lockdown, every day feels the same and it's hard to make progress on your life. As the pendulum slowly swings back to normal and we can do all the things we could before, I'm optimistic that feeling will fade.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

Im 35 today and I feel really blue about it. It’s put me on the wrong side of 30. For some reason it’s given me anxiety. I’m not ready for it yet. 🦊
 

 Does anyone else ever have this? I feel like being in that bracket of 35+ doesn’t fit me and will effect my dating life (currently talking to someone long distance but who knows where that will lead, if anywhere cos it’s very early days)  

I just turned 26. The man I’m dating is 32. I find men my age unbearable. My dating profile on Bumble my age range is all the way up to 56. I really prefer older men in this is actually kind of a new thing for me. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Umm this is only the story of my life. I am 38 and I have a really hard time with getting older.  For me it's not even about dating.  I'm in a long-term relationship.  It's just about getting older and mortality.  I have really bad anxiety surrounding the idea of your body breaking down as you get older, things going wrong physically.  So yeah.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

It’s put me on the wrong side of 30.

Welcome to the club.

You're going to be here for a long, long time if you're fortunate. Wisdom will begin trumping youthful folly.

The key is to start now doing everything to maintain your health, especially your liver and heart.  Things start getting harder the older you get.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT
6 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

Im 35 today and I feel really blue about it. It’s put me on the wrong side of 30. For some reason it’s given me anxiety. I’m not ready for it yet. 🦊
 

 Does anyone else ever have this? I feel like being in that bracket of 35+ doesn’t fit me and will effect my dating life (currently talking to someone long distance but who knows where that will lead, if anywhere cos it’s very early days)  

Some men do not even enter their prime until their mid 30's and even then, as a man, your prime ends when you say it does, by making healthy choices financially, romantically and otherwise; obviously some of us are struck with health conditions, that can be a factor as well.

The aspect about this generation's coming-of-age though is that it has technology paired alongside your social life, where as previous generations never had to deal with the technology side nearly as much as people do today. Keeping up is difficult and takes effort.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Calmandfocused

You’d better start planning your funeral FS 😉!!

So what exactly are you anxious about? The fact you haven’t got a girlfriend? Why are you prioritising this through age association? Is it that you’re desperate for children? 
 

Have you got your life in order? Career, financial, housing situation? If so you’re doing well for your age. 

FS you are in your prime and you have plenty of time (that rhymes).  There’s absolutely nothing to worry about. 

I’m 41 and have recently just had 3 dates with 3 attractive men. If I can do it at my age, then you can do it at yours. 
 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry, men are like wine, as long as they age well, nobody cares how old they are 😃 happy birthday!

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Actually blown away by all of your replies!! Seriously....If anything made me feel special today it was hearing all of your views,  experiences, comments and compliments. It’s all taken on board and changed how I felt considerably.  Thank you! You’re all beautiful people 🥰🤩
 

@Blind-Sided @smackie9 @Ruby Slippers @Andy_K @DCGurly @kendahke @CAPSLOCK BANDIT @Calmandfocused @contel3

 

1 hour ago, Calmandfocused said:

 

 

what exactly are you anxious about? - getting older and being single for 5 years! 

The fact you haven’t got a girlfriend?- that probably has a part to play! 

Why are you prioritising this through age association?  I thought being 35 was a point that made me undesirable unless I had my shi*t together. Stupid I know. And actually kind of insulting to other people!

Is it that you’re desperate for children? - definitely not desperate for kids! When the time is right and the person is right too...
 

Have you got your life in order? No LOL!  Career, financial, housing situation? Yes and no, it’s a mixed bag there! Mentally yes but everything else I’m working on, it’s never been a massive priority 

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Happy Birthday. 

I always freak out around my birthday, especially the ones that end in a 0.  Birthday's make us take stock & figure out where we are & where we want to go.  

The world's obsession with youth doesn't help.  

FWIW I met my husband when I was 39.  You will be OK.  

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers

Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been. -David Bowie

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

I felt the same way, and now I wish that I hadn't worried so much (as I continue to worry at this age ;) ). Happy belated! ❤️ 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie

''Those who love deeply never grow old they may die of old age, but they die young."

Dorothy Canfield Fisher.

Happy Belated Foxy Man :)

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been. -David Bowie

Really?  Man, I have a few people in mind that I'm waiting for that for.  I'm afraid it will be too late by the time they do it though.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers

I think we all know old people who are thriving, vital, and healthy, and old people who are falling apart and constantly beating the drum of how old and decrepit they are.

I think attitude about age is a huge factor in this. I know a lot of old people who don't come across as "old."

It's not really about aging - it's about decline. And a huge part of that is attitude.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

If anyone else ever gets the birthday blues, they should read this thread to see just how wrong their unfounded thoughts or anxiety’s are. (Providing they shared the same reasoning, of course- that fear of being a certain age or getting older)  

I learned a lot from this. I’m going to carry forward all the advice and wisdom here, so next year will be different 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/27/2020 at 9:21 PM, Blind-Sided said:

Not sure where you are going with this.  you are still young.  Generally at 35 you still have physical health, and you don't hurt just getting off the couch.  You aren't wrinkly, and gray... and still have the energy to do what you want.  My self... I'm bald, and facial hair is gray.  My knee hurts, and my back hurts every time I get up. They say you are only as old as you feel... and I feel like a bag of boiled crap.  LOL.

With that said... I was worried about my age (47) and looks... but I learned one important thing after my divorce. The majority of women like older guys, and want that maturity and handsomeness that comes with a little age.  I was introduced to 6 different girls after my divorce... only one was my age.  Four of them were around 8~10 years younger, and one was 21 years younger.  None of them said anything other than handsome to me. 

As an FYI... I've been dating my new GF for 6 months, and she is 26 years old. 

Don't worry about your age... you are in a great place. 

 

Hell yeah l'll vouch for this too , noticed all the same have for yrs. Although l'm still in good shape and have plenty of hair haha but of all ages they mostly def' have always seemed to prefer the more matured guy.Even finding myself single again late 40s , no problem at all and still wouldn;t be now getting up to later 50s cept l'm spoken for haha. The only problem l found was finding someone that was still sensible and 1/2 sane , or not riddled with baggage or bad health, 5 kids or God knows.  As for the other side of 30 , l found between 35 and 46ish or so by far my most popular time of all with just about any age woman. But if say she's in your age range she'll be in all the same places anyway, don't worry about a thing the best is yet to come.

 

 

 

 

Edited by chillii
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...