Destiny09 Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 I am seeing someone who has a GF. I am in process of a divorce. Just wondering; how does the guy I am seeing not feel guilty about cheating on his GF? And if and when we break things off( which will happen as I am NOT cool as the being the OW for much longer) how does he just go back to pretend nothing happened? I mean, he won’t tell her he cheated and he will pretend that nothing ever happened between us? That’s the part I hate, as the OW, that the man can go back his GF (or wife) and act like they never did anything wrong? That the time we shared meant nothing I do have to see this guy socially, as we share the same group of friends. Trust me, I feel awful. But, it doesn’t seem to bother him. He says he has never cheated before me. Maybe that’s a line. But, we have the same circle of friends, so thinking I would have heard of his cheating? When I asked if he plans to leave his GF he said that “he hasn’t thought about what he wants to do”.
DKT3 Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 Its likely he isn't pretending and what you two have means a lot more to you, for him, not so much. Your clue was "he hasn't thought about what he wants to do" let me translate, I'm not leaving my girl, but if I tell you that you will stop having sex with me. 4
Blind-Sided Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 9 hours ago, Destiny09 said: When I asked if he plans to leave his GF he said that “he hasn’t thought about what he wants to do”. This is why he has no guilt. He wants more than one GF and doesn't see it as cheating. But to that point... he will cheat on you.
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 He has a narcissistic personality. It's all about him and his needs, that's all that matters. They lack empathy, don't see or understand other peoples feelings, and are outright selfish bastards. Just let him go. He's a jerk.
kendahke Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, Destiny09 said: how does the guy I am seeing not feel guilty about cheating on his GF? More to the point, how do you feel having been a party to his deception all this time to someone who doesn't deserve the contempt? Edited July 25, 2020 by kendahke 2
stillafool Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 This isn't his first time cheating. You may be the first woman of your social group to get involved with him and that is why no one knows about his escapades. He probably cheats with women no one knows. Why would you get involved with someone else's boyfriend in your social circle. Don't you know the gf? He never has any plans of leaving his gf as long as other women make it this easy for him to get some on the side without her knowing. I know a guy like this who has a gf and kids, cheats with OW and still claims his gf is the love of his life. Go figure. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 End it. Now that your divorce is nearing this will hurt more and more, since he will be with his gf and you'll be in an empty home. 19 hours ago, Destiny09 said: When I asked if he plans to leave his GF he said that “he hasn’t thought about what he wants to do”.
amaysngrace Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) xxxx sorry wrong thread Edited July 25, 2020 by amaysngrace
Realitysux Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 19 hours ago, Destiny09 said: I am seeing someone who has a GF. I am in process of a divorce. Just wondering; how does the guy I am seeing not feel guilty about cheating on his GF? And if and when we break things off( which will happen as I am NOT cool as the being the OW for much longer) how does he just go back to pretend nothing happened? I mean, he won’t tell her he cheated and he will pretend that nothing ever happened between us? That’s the part I hate, as the OW, that the man can go back his GF (or wife) and act like they never did anything wrong? That the time we shared meant nothing I do have to see this guy socially, as we share the same group of friends. Trust me, I feel awful. But, it doesn’t seem to bother him. He says he has never cheated before me. Maybe that’s a line. But, we have the same circle of friends, so thinking I would have heard of his cheating? When I asked if he plans to leave his GF he said that “he hasn’t thought about what he wants to do”. He never cared about you and that's what I keep telling myself. Unless I had a different life, was a completely different person and could go back in time, nothing I could do would ever change the outcome. I keep telling myself to let the guy move on in his life, let him be happy, let him have what we are all searching for and be done with it. It didn't mean anything to him, and it doesn't have to. Let the pieces fall where they are going to fall.
BaileyB Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) If there is one thing I have learned on these boards, it’s that men and women look at relationships and sex VERY, VERY differently. YOU got emotionally involved and you are perhaps feeling some guilt... don’t assume that he has the same values or feels the same way you did. He doesn’t. Edited July 26, 2020 by BaileyB 1
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