I want a divorcee

[Despot]

Like the topic. I want a divorce

Ive been married for 7 years , 2 kids , dog , but my marriage is failure feom the start.He doesnt care about mw at all, nothing , he doeant five a fuxk about my problems , my life , my emotion nothinf at all.He care a litlle for the kids,bur for the younger nothing, he hasnt got any emotions for her,not to kiss her ,or hug her nothing at all. Our sex life it ia a dissaster , and i found out he is watching gay porns. If I have else where to go i will be divorcing right now , hut i sobt have I will be on the streets 

[d0nnivain]

You need to start making a plan to get out which puts a roof over your head & the kids.  Do you work?  If not, start looking for a job.  Also if they are around talk to your parents or other family members about possibly taking you in. 

Before that you may consider MC.  

[Despot]

My family is not around me , they live in a diffrent country. The biggest thing is that i wqs always happy before, i was always smiling , everybody loved to be my friend cos i was always positive. Nowdays I am always negative even if i dont want to be. My old friends said that thwy dont even recognise me . I am so sick of this marriage. In an angry fight last night i told my husband " i wish you die so I would be free" i now it sounds horrible but i tried do talk to him about something stupid ,just to talk to each other and smile a litlle bit ,but he got so angry i dont know why and yelling at me in front of the kids

Edited July 24, 2020 by Despot

[d0nnivain]

You don't have to participate in every argument you are invited to.  When he's in a mood, you keep your cool.  When you are in a mood, avoid him & if you must speak no matter how upset you are, force yourself to whisper.  It sounds trivial but all the effort you make to keep your voice soft will prevent the fight from escalating. 

In the short term work on your attitude.  You always being negative isn't helping the situation.  Create a gratefulness journal.  Get a notebook.  Doesn't have to be fancy; a plain pad of paper will do in a pinch.  Every morning when you wake up write down 3 things you are grateful for.  They can be profound or trivial.  At night before you go to sleep, write down 3 more things.  Try to make them different things each time but when I do this, on cold winter mornings my down comforter often makes the list more then once per week. Once per week read your lists.  

Before you tell me that you have nothing to be grateful for I will start your list: 

1.  You have kids 

2.  Your family is still alive

3.  You have friends

You can take each of those & make them more detailed, my naming something sweet that person did for you.   My list last night was: 

1.  I had an uplifting conversation with my friend J

2. The new dog bed my husband bought for the dog we're adopting this weekend is adorable & huge

3.  I'm one step closer to resolving a long standing problem at work

 

This morning my list is 

1.  I'm optimistic that I will have enough time today to get everything done 

2.  My living room is clean (it's been a mess since Covid hit) 

3.  I'm getting a handle on all the Covid deaths that have touched my life (26 as of yesterday)

 

Think about it.  That last one could be & at times has been soul crushing but I'm trying to get through. 

When you focus on what you do have rather than what's missing you find happiness & inner peace.  

 

If your plan is to get divorced, what concrete steps do you have to take to make that happen?  Put your plan in action.   

[Despot]

12 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

You don't have to participate in every argument you are invited to.  When he's in a mood, you keep your cool.  When you are in a mood, avoid him & if you must speak no matter how upset you are, force yourself to whisper.  It sounds trivial but all the effort you make to keep your voice soft will prevent the fight from escalating. 

In the short term work on your attitude.  You always being negative isn't helping the situation.  Create a gratefulness journal.  Get a notebook.  Doesn't have to be fancy; a plain pad of paper will do in a pinch.  Every morning when you wake up write down 3 things you are grateful for.  They can be profound or trivial.  At night before you go to sleep, write down 3 more things.  Try to make them different things each time but when I do this, on cold winter mornings my down comforter often makes the list more then once per week. Once per week read your lists.  

Before you tell me that you have nothing to be grateful for I will start your list: 

1.  You have kids 

2.  Your family is still alive

3.  You have friends

You can take each of those & make them more detailed, my naming something sweet that person did for you.   My list last night was: 

1.  I had an uplifting conversation with my friend J

2. The new dog bed my husband bought for the dog we're adopting this weekend is adorable & huge

3.  I'm one step closer to resolving a long standing problem at work

 

This morning my list is 

1.  I'm optimistic that I will have enough time today to get everything done 

2.  My living room is clean (it's been a mess since Covid hit) 

3.  I'm getting a handle on all the Covid deaths that have touched my life (26 as of yesterday)

 

Think about it.  That last one could be & at times has been soul crushing but I'm trying to get through. 

When you focus on what you do have rather than what's missing you find happiness & inner peace.  

 

If your plan is to get divorced, what concrete steps do you have to take to make that happen?  Put your plan in action.   

I am happy when he is not around. Iam gratefull to many things and i dont need to write them. I just want a normal , supporting husband who loves me , and makes me smile and talks to me about every doesnt matter if it ia stupid or anything . I just want a litlle support 

[d0nnivain]

The point of writing the good stuff down is to combat your negativity.  You said your friends don't recognize you anymore.  This will help get you back there.  The exercise is designed to elevate your mood.  

You can't change your husband.  Odds are he won't ever be that supportive guy you want so now you have to figure out how to be self sufficient.  

[Noproblem]

Look for a job, you won't live in the street if you find a job. 

 

Divorce him after you find a job..

If you don't have any qualification, tell him you want to study something for 1 year like hair stylist, or girls who do facial care.. or dental assistants, or nurse

these are all can be finished in 1 year

 

after 1 year, you get a job, and get out of this marriage! 

Where do you live, give us details so we give you resources, why are you so afraid to say the country name?

Edited July 25, 2020 by Noproblem

[Wiseman2]

Is it a sham marriage for residency ? Do you think he has sex with men? Is it an arranged marriage? In a divorce you and your kids would not be out on the street