Happy Lemming Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 5:18 AM, Realitysux said: I am allowed to be picky... Water seeks its own level. Perhaps, the guys you are seeking are being "picky", as well. 6
Versacehottie Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 ok this is going to be a little different than the other responses because they are covering it pretty well, but the other thing i noticed for a few days as OP was posting, is that the posts were a bit "loopy". I genuinely hope things are ok but perhaps that is playing into it currently. apart from that, as this thread has gone on, if you are angry about your current single status that usually not the best way to attract people to you. It feels like you are angry/bitter/entitled feeling about it. I'd guess that you are conveying that vibe to the potential people you could date. At least some of it. Good luck 2
Author Realitysux Posted July 26, 2020 Author Posted July 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: ok this is going to be a little different than the other responses because they are covering it pretty well, but the other thing i noticed for a few days as OP was posting, is that the posts were a bit "loopy". I genuinely hope things are ok but perhaps that is playing into it currently. apart from that, as this thread has gone on, if you are angry about your current single status that usually not the best way to attract people to you. It feels like you are angry/bitter/entitled feeling about it. I'd guess that you are conveying that vibe to the potential people you could date. At least some of it. Good luck Thank you for your honesty. I have taken a month off work and I am feeling a bit loopy. I'm not entitled , just rather annoyed with a Situation that has gone on. 1
chillii Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: Water seeks its own level. Perhaps, the guys you are seeking are being "picky", as well. Exactly , it all goes both ways. And l'd also agree with versace , you do seem all over the place in a lot of your posts . Maybe just b still for awhile , 6mths 12, find your peace and focus. Edited July 26, 2020 by chillii 1
Author Realitysux Posted July 27, 2020 Author Posted July 27, 2020 I found one guy but I'm not going to go for him since I need to work on myself. He was a former NFL ref and very tall , fit, successful and good looking. I don't think I'd be his type but I have faith again there are men out there.
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 4 hours ago, Realitysux said: Thank you for your honesty. I have taken a month off work and I am feeling a bit loopy. I'm not entitled , just rather annoyed with a Situation that has gone on. sure I noticed when I saw it on other threads that were not your own but it did seem like you've been posting out of character a bit. In a way, it's good thing I guess that you have your own thread where this can be brought up. I obviously missed the Situation that some of others might know about. I think if you are ready to talk about it, that would probably be the easiest way to figure out if there is anything else YOU can do differently or if it's merely time you need to recover before you get back at it. I generally think everyone has stuff they can improve on. lol so i'm sure there'd be something All I can say besides what I've already said, is that naming the title of the thread the way you did, probably indicates that for sure you aren't ready to date just yet. I think often people who've recently gone through a breakup where they feel wronged in some way vacillate between feeling low self-esteem & unsure about themselves (ie "what's wrong with me"), all the way to the other side, where they are defensive and dig their heels into a position and that nothing is wrong with them; the world is wrong; the Situation was f*cked up. They kind of seem to avoid the middle ground where real growth and potential for new & better things would be. I think try to get to that middle place where you aren't asking yourself what is wrong with you from a low place, whoa is me vibe and where you can "hear" feedback that might help. TBH, it's hard to give much feedback without the story & background though I'm sure this will serve a purpose as well. Ok good luck!
chillii Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) 21 hours ago, Realitysux said: I like being single .. I never wanted to get married or have a serious relationship and I thought that was fine until I read this forum. There are a few people like me on the planet. We just got used to being alone that being in a relationship doesn't feel natural. Oh right , well what's the thread about then why would you care about meeting anyone ? Anyway l've got no qualms about someone wanting to stay single that's for sure that's their business , l did myself for a long time. Edited July 27, 2020 by chillii
Author Realitysux Posted July 27, 2020 Author Posted July 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, chillii said: Oh right , well what's the thread about then why would you care about meeting anyone ? Anyway l've got no qualms about someone wanting to stay single that's for sure that's their business , l did myself for a long time. I couldn't meet a man I like. I could post a picture as I'm an attractive female who takes care of herself. Quality men don't care about that but I can attract men. I can also afford some help as I am aging so that is not an issue. The issue is that I obsessed over a man who fed the obsession and it grew to not being able to feel a healthy way about a man. I asked what was wrong with me because maybe I should find a few guys attractive enough not to have been stuck in the obsession which I paid for.
kendahke Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 12:39 PM, Realitysux said: Speak for yourself my friend. I am fine being alone Seems I'm speaking for you, too, as I never said anything about not being fine being alone.
Author Realitysux Posted July 27, 2020 Author Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, kendahke said: Seems I'm speaking for you, too, as I never said anything about not being fine being alone. Maybe my tone is rude and I should have thanked you for your advice. I spent years tormented by a fed obsession. Tormented to the point I was in bed, dirty clothes everywhere, sitting in a fetal position in an unmade bed and felt like something was seriously wrong with me. I was humiliated. Everyone was saying let go and I was sitting here obsessed. I felt like I was a failure as a human and what was the point since I'm too old now and life was already over. I spent months jealous over other women for being healthy and beautiful. I'm beautiful now but I had to work for it. I felt humiliated even to go anywhere because they might see me and hate on me more. I knew they were wrong but everyone was playing and I was suffering to the point I wanted to end my life but couldn't because I am afraid to kill myself. I might miss out on what life is like not to be obsessed. I really thought I should like a few different men by now and be able to walk away from the obsession more easily. Edited July 27, 2020 by Realitysux
Recommended Posts