Dating/falling for 12 year younger guy

[Betty-N-Jeremy]

I always thought 5 years younger might be too much, however to the shock of many in my life, most especially since I am not the type of woman to be a cougar relationship, I am now with a guy who is almost 40 years younger. We met a few years ago because we are condo neighbors, it started out after he moved in with a simple hello and small talk. Then he started helping me bringing in my groceries, then with a few errands around the house like changing light bulbs. I would then take him out to dinner not for anything else than being appreciative for his help. After taking him to dinner about 4 times and appreciating his company, he invited me to dinner on a saturday night at a nice place and he had reservations for 7:30. He called an Uber, we got there, started out with drinks, then dinner and then more drinks. He then told me he loved me and we kissed, it just happened. It was very special. We spent the night together at my place. Two weeks later, he moved in with me at my request. We got married 6 months later also at my request. I am now 71, he is 32 and our relationship is as strong as ever. This all started about 2 years ago. I have a daughter who is almost 15 years younger than Jeremy and while she was in shock first, she is fine now and we have all traveled together on vacation. It is a little embarrassing holding hands and kissing someone so much younger, especially at first. But what I have learned is that I will not put parameters on age anymore, even if we ever broke up. I am fine dating a guy of any legal age as long as there's potential for a loving relationship. So age is no longer factor and just a number for me.   

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 7/23/2020 at 12:50 PM, hippychick3 said:

Wait...you’re falling in love after 1 date? 

I think you need to rein it in just a bit and be realistic. 12 years isn’t too much when the younger one is late 20’s, early 30’s. My fiancé is 10 years younger, but he was 33 when we met.  A 21 year old is super YOUNG and barely an adult. He’s got a lot of growing up and experiences ahead of him. I would keep my heart guarded and expectations very low. 

I was thinking this too.

I also always wonder why people say but I look X age, he or she looks Y age...but what you ARE is your actual age. I know I don't have more in common with a 65-year-old who looks 50 than a 50-year-old who looks...whatever age. We're not suddenly going to have more in common if he gets an eye lift or starts working out.

People say age is just a number but IMO there's a reason the majority of married couples in the U.S. are within 5 years or one another. Yes, there are exceptions, I get it...however for many people it's difficult.

And I mean...21...okay, never mind, now I'm just being a downer. 😂

 

[mortensorchid]

I had a crush on a guy who was quite a bit younger than me and he shot me down, shattering my self esteem.  I am having dates lately with guys who are 12-15 years younger than me, and ... it's internet dating.  So I say do what you like and see what happens.

[Betty-N-Jeremy]

10 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

I had a crush on a guy who was quite a bit younger than me and he shot me down, shattering my self esteem.  I am having dates lately with guys who are 12-15 years younger than me, and ... it's internet dating.  So I say do what you like and see what happens.

I hope you keep trying and don't be discouraged. I didn't even try, wasn't looking for it at all and now with a guy 39 years my junior and loving every minute of it. 

[smackie9]

If I were you I'd be all over that. Hell if I was 43 I'd be all over that. If this don't work out so what. Relationships no matter the age may not work out. Have to keep rolling the dice.

Edited September 22, 2020 by smackie9

[TheFinalWord]

I wouldn't worry about what society says. If you were 50 and he was 38, that would be one thing. At that point, he's a fully mature, grown man. But at 21, his brain is not even fully developed yet. At 21, you have to ask yourself what does this man bring to the table?

It can't be wisdom, you're much older and have a lot of life experience, including a family. He is still naive in this regard.

It can't be physical, because you said you haven't had sex yet.

It sounds like infatuation, or perhaps validation that a younger man wants you. Either way, I would take things slow and not get too invested too quick.