Zared Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, since we were both teenagers (now 23). She's an incredibly kind, caring, and intelligent woman that I care about. However, without going into details for the sake of privacy, I do not feel like I could ever marry her/have children/spend my life with her. I'm no longer sexually attracted to her like I was and I feel attraction to other people (although I would never cheat). The kicker is that I've felt this way for ~2 years now, but I've stayed in the relationship. As a career driven young person I think it's been easy to use the rationship to keep me focused on climbing the ladder at work without distractions. Now at 23, I know that I need to end this relationship but I feel totally lost regarding how to go about it. We share a room together in share accomodation with shared possessions, play social sport together and share social groups. Additionally, we both moved in together straight out of home as teenagers as my girlfriend's family were emotionally (and to a degree physically) abusive. Although I know it's not my responsibility, I worry about the emotional impact and my girlfriend's ability to manage the breakup. I feel that my girlfriend is emotionally relient on me and often on the edge of depression. Also, after getting into a long term, serious relationship at such a young age, I think I just don't know how to end one. I was a teenager who could barely muster up the confidence to ask a girl out, so I think the same may apply now to ending this relationship with obviously much greater impact. I understand that being in this relationship is doing a disservice to both of us and that ending it is the right thing to do, but I just... can't. I'm reaching out to try and get the ball rolling. Hopefully receiving some advice might be the kick-start I need to do the right thing? Thank you for any help in advance! It's much appreciated
Mystery4u Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) I was in a similar situation with my first ever relationship. Started when we were both 18, we were each others first sexual experience, spent a lot of time together etc. After 2 years while I was still at uni, I realised she was just not the one and I had to experience being with other women so I knew exactly what I wanted in a life long partner. I knew it was not her. For a few months I thought about it back and forth in my mind - how could I break up with her and hurt her? In the end I met her one day, and simply told her that I thought we should break up. I did it because it was the right thing to do for her as well as me. For both of us. You know it's the right thing to do. She might be the first girl you break up with, but most likely won't be the last. She will be hurt but she will get over it - we all do. It's part of life. It's not the end of the world. You both deserve to be happy and if it's with other people, its better to end it sooner rather than later and waste even more time. Off course she will be upset, but in the future she will see you did the right thing. Edited July 19, 2020 by Mystery4u
Realitysux Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 3 hours ago, Zared said: I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, since we were both teenagers (now 23). She's an incredibly kind, caring, and intelligent woman that I care about. However, without going into details for the sake of privacy, I do not feel like I could ever marry her/have children/spend my life with her. I'm no longer sexually attracted to her like I was and I feel attraction to other people (although I would never cheat). The kicker is that I've felt this way for ~2 years now, but I've stayed in the relationship. As a career driven young person I think it's been easy to use the rationship to keep me focused on climbing the ladder at work without distractions. Now at 23, I know that I need to end this relationship but I feel totally lost regarding how to go about it. We share a room together in share accomodation with shared possessions, play social sport together and share social groups. Additionally, we both moved in together straight out of home as teenagers as my girlfriend's family were emotionally (and to a degree physically) abusive. Although I know it's not my responsibility, I worry about the emotional impact and my girlfriend's ability to manage the breakup. I feel that my girlfriend is emotionally relient on me and often on the edge of depression. Also, after getting into a long term, serious relationship at such a young age, I think I just don't know how to end one. I was a teenager who could barely muster up the confidence to ask a girl out, so I think the same may apply now to ending this relationship with obviously much greater impact. I understand that being in this relationship is doing a disservice to both of us and that ending it is the right thing to do, but I just... can't. I'm reaching out to try and get the ball rolling. Hopefully receiving some advice might be the kick-start I need to do the right thing? Thank you for any help in advance! It's much appreciated If she is depressed then you need to be honest with her. As a depressed person, the games and if I sensed my partner didn't want to be with me, then that would make me more depressed. You are not responsible for her happiness.
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