BaileyB Posted July 24, 2020 Posted July 24, 2020 8 hours ago, Ambereyes said: I asked, because he says he sometimes feels he wants to just bring home his mates for a game night or just get drunk with friends and pass out, but he cant do it when I'm there. No, he can’t. But that doesn’t mean he will have to sacrifice his friendships. He is still capable of going to the pub with his friends, having games night at a friends house, bringing the boys to your house if you are out or away... There are lots of ways that he can maintain his friendships AND still have a relationship. That said, if he still wants to live the single life then you are not compatible because you want fundamentally different things. He has a little more maturing to do if he can’t see that it’s not all of nothing, he may have to sacrifice some things but he gets so many other things in return... 1
Author Ambereyes Posted July 24, 2020 Author Posted July 24, 2020 6 hours ago, d0nnivain said: I didn't realize you had already been living together for a while. If he hasn't come to terms with where you are going by the time you have to renew your lease, maybe it is time to be done. Living together for 3 months now. Renewing lease in 9 months. Yeah I think another 9-12 months time is a fair decision
Watercolors Posted July 24, 2020 Posted July 24, 2020 17 minutes ago, Ambereyes said: Living together for 3 months now. Renewing lease in 9 months. Yeah I think another 9-12 months time is a fair decision Well, now you have a realistic timeline since your co-lease renews in 9 months. If your boyfriend still hasn't changed by then, you need to decide if you want to continue to living with him. It does sound like he's blaming YOU for putting a damper on his 'boys nights' out which is pretty emotionally manipulative on his part. It's like he's blaming you for cramping his single life. Then why did he ask you to move in with him? And why is he in a relationship with you, if he really wants to live the single life at night with his boys?
lana-banana Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 You're in your mid-20s, so you're still pretty young, but if he isn't comfortable with the idea of marrying you when it's time to renew your lease then you have to walk. It's not a good sign that he doesn't even like the idea. Most men know pretty quickly when they've met the one, or someone they think could be it. And this could be a case of training wheels syndrome (a guy has a long-term relationship that he suddenly ends for the woman he goes on to marry---this is super common for men in their late 20s. I saw a lot of relationships that seemed very stable explode among friends when we were 27-29.). There's no pressure for anything to happen right now but you have to protect yourself. Do not even daydream about a long term future involving this guy unless he says he sees one with you. 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) Good point. This is a training wheels relationship for him. When all the scrapes and mistakes are done, you'll move out and he'll move on. Edited July 25, 2020 by Wiseman2
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