hugosant Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 I had two amazing video dates with this gorgeous but very quirky girl, a week apart. We have a lot of the same geek interests, with lots of laughter in the calls, teasing, and great chat. Two weeks ago I proposed the idea of meeting in person (a third date) for a drink but she replied saying that she actually doesn't think it's right to meet, that she doesn't think she wants to get to know someone better yet but that she really enjoyed getting to know me. I replied saying that it was a shame as I thought we clicked but I understand and wished her good luck. Now earlier tonight she messaged me saying that she freaked out and that she thinks we should meet in person for that drink. I'm a tad inexperienced in dating and I'm not sure what to say. I'd like to get to know her more but concerned I'll just get played maybe... Any advice?
Foxhall Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Go ahead, relax and enjoy it. try a kiss at the end of the date. 1
Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, hugosant said: I had two amazing video dates with this gorgeous but very quirky girl, a week apart. We have a lot of the same geek interests, with lots of laughter in the calls, teasing, and great chat. Two weeks ago I proposed the idea of meeting in person (a third date) for a drink but she replied saying that she actually doesn't think it's right to meet, that she doesn't think she wants to get to know someone better yet but that she really enjoyed getting to know me. I replied saying that it was a shame as I thought we clicked but I understand and wished her good luck. Now earlier tonight she messaged me saying that she freaked out and that she thinks we should meet in person for that drink. I'm a tad inexperienced in dating and I'm not sure what to say. I'd like to get to know her more but concerned I'll just get played maybe... Any advice? Go and meet her! You’ll miss all of the opportunities in life that don’t take. you already said you guys connected really well so you should believe her when she says she freaked out. I’m sure when you do see her that her reasons will become more apparent , if she doesn’t flat out tell you exactly why she freaked out. The positive things to look at are the fact that she respected you enough to honour you with a decent excuse. She didn’t pie you (ignore you) she was straight up and said she didn’t feel ready. so what are you waiting for?! Take her up on it good connections are rare 1
Velvet teddy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 41 minutes ago, hugosant said: I had two amazing video dates with this gorgeous but very quirky girl, a week apart. We have a lot of the same geek interests, with lots of laughter in the calls, teasing, and great chat. Two weeks ago I proposed the idea of meeting in person (a third date) for a drink but she replied saying that she actually doesn't think it's right to meet, that she doesn't think she wants to get to know someone better yet but that she really enjoyed getting to know me. I replied saying that it was a shame as I thought we clicked but I understand and wished her good luck. Now earlier tonight she messaged me saying that she freaked out and that she thinks we should meet in person for that drink. I'm a tad inexperienced in dating and I'm not sure what to say. I'd like to get to know her more but concerned I'll just get played maybe... Any advice? Meet her and see what happens. She likes you but may be she started overanalysing which led to her getting freaked out. it happens 2
Maldives Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) Ye go meet her but have your antenna up for any concerns ie; just got out of a relationship etc you got this Edited July 18, 2020 by Goodguy05 1
Ami1uwant Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 Meet her. her hesitance might have more to do with Covid... 3
ShyViolet Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 Considering that this would actually be the first time you meet her in person, I say meet her. Once she meets you in person she might find that she feels more comfortable with you than she thought she would.
Versacehottie Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Velvet teddy said: Meet her and see what happens. She likes you but may be she started overanalysing which led to her getting freaked out. it happens agree^^ and maybe she was overanalyzing because of the virus not you. I think that would be in the realm of totally believable at this moment in time. all bets are off for things going to plan. I think you should go OP. Goodluck 2
CLS63AMG Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 6 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: Meet her. her hesitance might have more to do with Covid... Yup, was chatting up a girl 4-5 weeks ago off bumble and we basically couldn't meet because covid and the chatting fizzled out, but I was going through my contacts today, saw her name and sent her a text, she replied joyfully and the date is back on.
Velvet teddy Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 9 hours ago, Versacehottie said: agree^^ and maybe she was overanalyzing because of the virus not you. I think that would be in the realm of totally believable at this moment in time. all bets are off for things going to plan. I think you should go OP. Goodluck It could be the virus but it sounds more like freaked out about relationship stuff.
Author hugosant Posted July 20, 2020 Author Posted July 20, 2020 So I messaged her Sunday noon saying that it's fine and that it'd be great to have that drink this coming weekend. 24 hours later and I've heard nothing, she's not even read it.
Blind-Sided Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 Normally I would say... walk away. but with the way the wold is, and people trying to stay safe... Take that date!. Have fun and good luck.
ThePhoenixStillRises Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/18/2020 at 7:16 PM, Velvet teddy said: Meet her and see what happens. She likes you but may be she started overanalysing which led to her getting freaked out. it happens I agree with @Velvet teddy. She may have started overthinking things, or maybe she's been hurt recently or even in the past and is afraid to really put herself out there again. I would say go for it. 1
Author hugosant Posted July 20, 2020 Author Posted July 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, ThePhoenixStillRises said: I agree with @Velvet teddy. She may have started overthinking things, or maybe she's been hurt recently or even in the past and is afraid to really put herself out there again. I would say go for it. I'm just surprised it's taken her over 24 hours to read my text as I replied saying it's fine and that it'd be great to catch a drink next weekend. Normally she was very responsive when we use to text?
Erik30 Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 6 minutes ago, hugosant said: I'm just surprised it's taken her over 24 hours to read my text as I replied saying it's fine and that it'd be great to catch a drink next weekend. Normally she was very responsive when we use to text? Yeah that's not a great sign, but just wait. It's only been a day. I would normally say she might be busy, but people can't really use that excuse now with covid. But she could of course have something else going on in her life. If she hasn't replied before the weekend, (when you're supposed to have that date) move on.
Mystery4u Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 17 minutes ago, hugosant said: I'm just surprised it's taken her over 24 hours to read my text as I replied saying it's fine and that it'd be great to catch a drink next weekend. Normally she was very responsive when we use to text? Its clear she's talking to other guys and you are just an option, not a priority. 1
Velvet teddy Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 26 minutes ago, hugosant said: I'm just surprised it's taken her over 24 hours to read my text as I replied saying it's fine and that it'd be great to catch a drink next weekend. Normally she was very responsive when we use to text? Maybe she's freaking out all over again. Wait and see what she says, if she doesn't get back to you then move on. Im sure you don't want someone unreliable like this in the first place.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 Oh c'mon people. The person first chased an option she felt was better... and that one likely fell flat... so she reconsidered this one... and saw it in new light. THEN she continued to look around... and again she discovered a more thought-provoking option... and she once again opted to further investigate the other one. 1
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 Maybe she's got some anxiety going on and she is pushing her fears down, making her seem awkward.
OnlyHonesty Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 I'm surprised so many recommended he meets up with her. Our time, attention, presence and essence is priceless. If you offer to share this with another and they 'freak out' and say no, then there chance is gone. She managed to mess you around before you'd even met up. Now you've communicated that you don't mind being messed around, and that you don't have other options, or at the very least, hold a scarcity mindset. It''s no surprise that you've not heard from her for 24 hours....she's just continuing her previous pattern.
central Posted July 21, 2020 Posted July 21, 2020 (edited) If she responds, fine - meet her if she's still willing. Otherwise (if she does not respond within a couple of days) move on and don't even reply to her. IMO, you can learn things from meeting even poor prospects or flaky people, as it helps you recognize such behaviors later, and what to expect from such people if you do meet them. Do you have something better to do, or someone else to meet at the same time? Edited July 21, 2020 by central
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted July 22, 2020 Posted July 22, 2020 Personally, I would never give my time to a woman who put me in the #2 spot, I prefer a sense of agency from the people I date. Also, its strange to me that she would initially go on 2 dates with you and not end it half way thru the first if she was not interested.. It just seems like you are a fixture of convenience for her already, somebody she can just drop down and pick back up later on, definitely not the way you want to be treated.
Juha Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 Just a flake and time waster. Don't put any more effort into her. Think of her as a fwb if she ever gets back in contact. People like her are not worth much time and effort except for sex
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