Hopeful30 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 According to the law of attraction, daydreaming and fantasizing is healthy. You're basically visualizing a reality you want, therefore are more likely to attract it. However in my dating experiences, this always leads to disappointment. I envision having great chemistry, great date, awesome sex, but when the time comes, it's nothing like how I imagined. Am I setting myself up for disappointment every time I fantasize about how great things can be with a guy? It could explain why I always lose interest after having sex.
Realitysux Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: According to the law of attraction, daydreaming and fantasizing is healthy. You're basically visualizing a reality you want, therefore are more likely to attract it. However in my dating experiences, this always leads to disappointment. I envision having great chemistry, great date, awesome sex, but when the time comes, it's nothing like how I imagined. Am I setting myself up for disappointment every time I fantasize about how great things can be with a guy? It could explain why I always lose interest after having sex. Laws of attraction doesn't ever talk about envisioning one person and fantasies of one person. It speaks of the type of man you want and the universe delivers him. The universe could have different plans for the man you're fantasizing about. To go into depth, gratitude and the love you send out to the universe will be returned. Edited July 18, 2020 by Realitysux 3
Uk Jimmy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 I think it depends on your expectations. Maybe you’ve had a great sex life in a past relationship and you’re looking to find that again with somebody else. Everyone is different but Personally I feel nervous when I first have sex with a new partner so I do feel like I hold back somewhat.
Author Hopeful30 Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 1 minute ago, Uk Jimmy said: I think it depends on your expectations. Maybe you’ve had a great sex life in a past relationship and you’re looking to find that again with somebody else. Everyone is different but Personally I feel nervous when I first have sex with a new partner so I do feel like I hold back somewhat. To be entirely honest, I've never had a great sex life except in my head. I used to be nervous too, not anymore though. It's been too long for me to care lol
Realitysux Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 5 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: To be entirely honest, I've never had a great sex life except in my head. I used to be nervous too, not anymore though. It's been too long for me to care lol I have never not had great sex. After a while it's just sex
Ami1uwant Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 21 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: To be entirely honest, I've never had a great sex life except in my head. I used to be nervous too, not anymore though. It's been too long for me to care lol What fo youdefine as great sex? Does the toy do it?
Uk Jimmy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 18 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: To be entirely honest, I've never had a great sex life except in my head. I used to be nervous too, not anymore though. It's been too long for me to care lol I know what you mean lol. I’m not nervous after the first time, That’s when I can fully express myself and feel confident to do so. I think you’re either sexually compatible or you’re not. Personally if it gets boring. That’s a red flag to me. I think a healthy sex life is important to obtain a health relationship 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 51 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: According to the law of attraction, daydreaming and fantasizing is healthy. You're basically visualizing a reality you want, therefore are more likely to attract it. However in my dating experiences, this always leads to disappointment. I envision having great chemistry, great date, awesome sex, but when the time comes, it's nothing like how I imagined. Am I setting myself up for disappointment every time I fantasize about how great things can be with a guy? It could explain why I always lose interest after having sex. 1. Yes. 2. If you're fantasizing because you don't have him *yet* and you're *wishing* he'd come to you then that's what you're attracting. Not having the guy yet and wishing. And you're getting it! 3. In a more practical way, NOBODY can live up to a fantasy, and whether you think so or not you're almost certainly giving off very subtle vibes of "you're not doing the right 'stuff,' you're doing it wrong" and "I hope he changes into somebody not-him fast, he needs to be like my fantasy." Nobody likes THAT. 1
poppyfields Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) Hopeful, are you talking about visualization? Sounds like you are. If so, there is quite a bit of evidence that visualizing what you want results in your achieving or acquiring it; it's discussed in great detail in the book The Secret. It's not a simple process though and very different from simply fantasizing or daydreaming. In visualization, you have to actually believe it, mind over matter, similar to the power of positive thinking. It's more complex though from what I understand. Many people swear by it, Tiger Woods uses visualization; I read a story about a paraplegic who used it and despite his diagnosis of not ever walking again, was able to walk! Have you read any books discussing it in detail including The Secret? Or watched any videos? That said there also much controversy surrounding it, I can't say either way as I've never practiced it. Edited July 18, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Listen to some free YouTube videos by inspirational speaker Abraham Hicks. She's the best active teacher I know on the subject. It takes practice, but it works. My last two relationships were off the charts in terms of romance, fun, hot sex, adventure, soulfulness, synchronicity. There were some problem points, which I think I unintentionally attracted due to an abusive upbringing. But for me, as I get better at positive focus, my life just keeps getting better. Lately I'm even letting go of my negative beliefs about aging, and I'm seeing more and more evidence of hot babes pulsing with vitality into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. That's what I'm gonna be As another inspirational speaker Wayne Dyer says, "When you BELIEVE it, you'll SEE it." 3
LuckyM Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 I don't know the law of attraction but I know a more important valid law of induction in Logic universally. That is that if nothing significant changes then the future events will be like the past. Probably it won't change. Based on probability like the weather. And dating I think and fantasizing about your ideal sex the more things stay the same the more they will. Sciences have this law. So you should ask yourself____how is he or she different from the others? True for my life anyway. Phantasies are wishful thinking. But sometimes the reality is better!!
mark clemson Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) It's strange because the $100,000,000.00 I've been visualizing has never materialized either. Instead I've had to work for a living most of my life. It's almost as if very often you have to go get the things you want in life, instead of just thinking about them and waiting for them to magically show up. So weird... (Probably sometimes the universe DOES provide SOME things for you, but I suspect you don't get to simply ask/dictate and expect them.) Edited July 18, 2020 by mark clemson 2
Ruby Slippers Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Some people do win millions in the lottery. Perhaps those are the people who have been dreaming about it with the purest focus. Positive visualization and dreaming is akin to prayer. As Jesus said about prayer: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 2
poppyfields Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) From what I have read, it's a process and you have to actually believe it. Not fantasize, not imagine, not even just visualize, but believe it WILL happen. I think it takes very positive and evolved person to have such a positive belief but again many people do swear by it - to it's validity. I'm not sure how it relates to material things like money or a house, etc, but there is something called "wealth consciousness" (wealth being peace and happiness, achieving all you want out of life), that I've read about and believe in. It basically states that whatever efforts you put forth in the world, will come back to you tenfold. But the key is not to put forth the effort in order to receive back, you actually have to want to put the effort, from your heart. Have the genuine desire to put forth the effort. You reap what you sow (positive or negative depending) and karma. It's about energy and the Universe, I dunno sounds hokey but I believe in it. Edited July 18, 2020 by poppyfields 3
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 6 hours ago, Hopeful30 said: According to the law of attraction, daydreaming and fantasizing is healthy. You're basically visualizing a reality you want, therefore are more likely to attract it. However in my dating experiences, this always leads to disappointment. I envision having great chemistry, great date, awesome sex, but when the time comes, it's nothing like how I imagined. Am I setting myself up for disappointment every time I fantasize about how great things can be with a guy? It could explain why I always lose interest after having sex. No... for anticipating the nearly-unknown is a lot more lottery-like than it is truly impacting your actual experiences. Consider the unique appeal to internet chatrooms... where people first allowed themselves to (eventually) sense 1 or 3% of an actual human, while initially painting (seeming) perfection into the other 97-99%. Humans loved the opportunity to encounter somebody's uniqueness and have it revealed one sliver at a time. Of course, in the beginning it was largely your own ability to paint (YOUR kind of) perfection into the empty void. And for a long while it looked SO great as you were painting by numbers and filling-in the unknown, piece-by-piece, with each new revelation from the other person out there. Eventually, those who were more realistic did best with such opportunities, but that doesn't mean that your initial fantasies didn't fuel you for a good long while as you awaited the random real human to materialize. In your case, it's so easy to imagine everything going splendidly. But when you get close to a real human (and his randomness), invariably you'll find out that his feet stink, he farts sometimes, and he hates your mom's favorite home-cooked meal. So keep fantasizing... if for no other reason than to let your mind wander well off toward the periphery of qualities you are drawn to in a man... JUST so you'll cover a few more outlying bases, for when you one day need to consider those.
chillii Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) lt could also explain what's going on. You mention sex , and more sex. like most people round here do and just end up chasing their tails in all the same ways. That is not a relationship it's only bonuses that hopefully come with it later. Your thinking and choosing from the wrong end , not your brains heart and selectiveness. Edited July 19, 2020 by chillii
Author Hopeful30 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Posted July 19, 2020 7 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: What fo youdefine as great sex? Does the toy do it? Great sex, for me personally, is complete vulnerability and surrender to a man. This means fully trusting him and knowing he handles with care. A man who takes his time to enjoy every inch of my body, and allows me to do the same. Being immersed in each other's scents, sweat, breath. Becoming 'one', if you know what I mean. 7 hours ago, Uk Jimmy said: I know what you mean lol. I’m not nervous after the first time, That’s when I can fully express myself and feel confident to do so. I think you’re either sexually compatible or you’re not. Personally if it gets boring. That’s a red flag to me. I think a healthy sex life is important to obtain a health relationship Everything routine and repeated gets boring after a while, no? 5 hours ago, poppyfields said: Hopeful, are you talking about visualization? Sounds like you are. If so, there is quite a bit of evidence that visualizing what you want results in your achieving or acquiring it; it's discussed in great detail in the book The Secret. It's not a simple process though and very different from simply fantasizing or daydreaming. In visualization, you have to actually believe it, mind over matter, similar to the power of positive thinking. It's more complex though from what I understand. Many people swear by it, Tiger Woods uses visualization; I read a story about a paraplegic who used it and despite his diagnosis of not ever walking again, was able to walk! Have you read any books discussing it in detail including The Secret? Or watched any videos? That said there also much controversy surrounding it, I can't say either way as I've never practiced it. I've been familiar with the concepts you mentioned for many years. I'm very into manifestation, visualization, compassion, spirituality, and I've tried every psychedelic from shrooms to ayahuasca. I love exploring different realms of consciousness and awareness. I've created a wonderful life. When it comes to men though, there's some sort of block. 5 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Listen to some free YouTube videos by inspirational speaker Abraham Hicks. She's the best active teacher I know on the subject. It takes practice, but it works. My last two relationships were off the charts in terms of romance, fun, hot sex, adventure, soulfulness, synchronicity. There were some problem points, which I think I unintentionally attracted due to an abusive upbringing. But for me, as I get better at positive focus, my life just keeps getting better. Lately I'm even letting go of my negative beliefs about aging, and I'm seeing more and more evidence of hot babes pulsing with vitality into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. That's what I'm gonna be As another inspirational speaker Wayne Dyer says, "When you BELIEVE it, you'll SEE it." Preaching to the choir sister. I've been listening to Abraham for years I've manifested literally everything that I've always wanted. With romance, there is a block. They say wanting too much blocks receiving. I'm not sure how to not want something that is natural and biological to want (a man). 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) From all the posts of yours I recall reading, you're beating the "I can't find the right man" drum. I stopped doing that a while ago, and now I just keep getting warmer. I think the idea is to want it, and not counteract it with doubt, to allow the flow of good things to flow. Edited July 19, 2020 by Ruby Slippers 3
Author Hopeful30 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Posted July 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: From all the posts of yours I recall reading, you're beating the "I can't find the right man" drum. I stop doing that a while ago, and now I just keep getting warmer. Can you share any tips on how to stop doing that? It seems that my desire for intimacy and love activate this drum. It has developed after many disappointments, mind you. I never used to have this drum (that I'm aware of). 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 Think, write, and talk about all the positive aspects of how great it's going to be. Recount the good parts of your dates, the qualities you find that do align with your desires, any little glint that you're on the right track. To the universe, there's no "no," only "yes." That means if you focus on "I don't want a jerk," the universe hears "jerk" and there come the jerks. This is why it's really bad strategy to include anything you don't want on your dating profile. Also, for me, the better I feel on my own without a man, the easier it is to attract them. The thinking is something like: "Life is great as is, and is gonna get even better when that great guy comes along." 3
Author Hopeful30 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Posted July 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Think, write, and talk about all the positive aspects of how great it's going to be. Recount the good parts of your dates, the qualities you find that do align with your desires, any little glint that you're on the right track. To the universe, there's no "no," only "yes." That means if you focus on "I don't want a jerk," the universe hears "jerk" and there come the jerks. This is why it's really bad strategy to include anything you don't want on your dating profile. Also, for me, the better I feel on my own without a man, the easier it is to attract them. The thinking is something like: "Life is great as is, and is gonna get even better when that great guy comes along." It's creepy how true this is. I used to always attract fathers, and I hated kids. I never understood why it was so difficult to find men who didn't already have children (and this is when I was a teenager!!) Now that I grew up and have a kinder outlook on kids, I've never met a father since! Ha! Literally all the men I've been dating have been childless! It's true, I need to stop caring so much. I've been proven time and time again this is how it works. Ugh. More work on myself. I'm exhausted lol 2
Ruby Slippers Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 Take a break! Listen to Abraham's stuff about downstream/upstream, and letting the cork float. Sometimes ya gotta just say, "Universe, this what I want! You know what I want!", then let it go and go into cruise mode. Before you know it, poof, there it is. 2
Ami1uwant Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Hopeful30 said: Great sex, for me personally, is complete vulnerability and surrender to a man. This means fully trusting him and knowing he handles with care. A man who takes his time to enjoy every inch of my body, and allows me to do the same. Being immersed in each other's scents, sweat, breath. Becoming 'one', if you know what I mean. Everything routine and repeated gets boring after a while, no? I've been familiar with the concepts you mentioned for many years. I'm very into manifestation, visualization, compassion, spirituality, and I've tried every psychedelic from shrooms to ayahuasca. I love exploring different realms of consciousness and awareness. I've created a wonderful life. When it comes to men though, there's some sort of block. Preaching to the choir sister. I've been listening to Abraham for years I've manifested literally everything that I've always wanted. With romance, there is a block. They say wanting too much blocks receiving. I'm not sure how to not want something that is natural and biological to want (a man). Sex is an expression of love thst is driven by emotional love which is much different than pure physical attraction. 100% in both does not exist.
Ami1uwant Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Take a break! Listen to Abraham's stuff about downstream/upstream, and letting the cork float. Sometimes ya gotta just say, "Universe, this what I want! You know what I want!", then let it go and go into cruise mode. Before you know it, poof, there it is. The cork needs to get popped first.
basil67 Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 I think that one of the problems with visualising and fantasising is that nobody can live up to the reality of what we envisage. It just leads to a huge amount of punching above and the disappointment when we never find the dream. Live in the present. Deal with the reality rather than the dream.
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