CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) So about a month ago I am walking my dog and got to chatting with a girl that also had a dog, ended up getting along and walking together. Got her number and we met a week later and did the same thing, then again another week later when she leaked it that she had a boyfriend. I was polite and never contacted her again as I will not chase a girl in a relationship, now she's texting again asking how I am doing and wanting to meet up. What's going on here? No girlfriend, or even girl-friend I've ever had would do that when in a relationship. Is she lining up the dudes replacement? (and no, I royally doubt he knows she's out walking the dog with another guy for the ones that think its a "friend" thing) Edited July 18, 2020 by CLS63AMG
Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 If she asks you to meet up then why not say to her “ I would love to cos Fido liked Spot , but I don’t think it’s very appropriate when you have a boyfriend. Don’t you think?” You’ll be able to tell a whole lot from her reply. or lack of.
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: If she asks you to meet up then why not say to her “ I would love to cos Fido liked Spot , but I don’t think it’s very appropriate when you have a boyfriend. Don’t you think?” You’ll be able to tell a whole lot from her reply. or lack of. True, I'll have to pop the question. Its just hard because she's a legit instagram model, its hard even walking with her because everyone stares. You don't get opportunities like this every day, but I still hold to my standards and won't screw some guy over. 1
Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 You don’t need to drop your moral compass! Good man too for minding your karma. Honestly I’m sure someone else will chime in, but I think that’s one of the best things you could say to her. Shows her that you have morals and standards , that you do wan to see her, a sense of humour cos you made it about the dogs and her bf (if she actually has one) Maybe she really likes you 1
Realitysux Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) My initial comment want was making fun of Instagram models but I know its a thing. Edited July 18, 2020 by Realitysux
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Personally I wonder whether she just wants to be buds (or maybe just likes the attention) but she gets the vibe that you like her romantically, so she's putting it out there that she has a boyfriend. You are a GOOD man to it be pursuing her that way, now that you know. 3
chillii Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) Probably but why don't you just tell her look knowing now your in a relationship l'm not getting involved and say goodbye. Had to do it myself a few times back in the day but no way l'm ruining a relationship or being used as a springboard outa there. Nore did l have any respect for a woman trying to do that. Edited July 18, 2020 by chillii 2
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 18 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Personally I wonder whether she just wants to be buds (or maybe just likes the attention) but she gets the vibe that you like her romantically, so she's putting it out there that she has a boyfriend. You are a GOOD man to it be pursuing her that way, now that you know. I get the attention w**** aspect but she gets so much of that I cannot fathom why she'd need me on the pile, and she won't get it either. I haven't hit on her, nor friend zoned myself either, I've remained vague. Last time we met she had a coffee for me when we met... Edited July 18, 2020 by CLS63AMG 1
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 24 minutes ago, Realitysux said: My initial comment want was making fun of Instagram models but I know its a thing. Hear you loud and clear! Know all about it but I found her page looking at our location tag, 10's of thousands of followers, professional bikini modeling photos, beauty contests etc. She doesn't know I know.. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 11 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said: I get the attention w**** aspect but she gets so much of that I cannot fathom why she'd need me on the pile, and she won't get it either. I haven't hit on her, nor friend zoned myself either, I've remained vague. Last time we met she had a coffee for me when we met... Some people just need a LOT of it. And, she likes you as a friend. I don't think it's *just* the attention. She likes you. But more as a buddy, is what it sounds like. JMO and I'm really sorry.
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 7 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Some people just need a LOT of it. And, she likes you as a friend. I don't think it's *just* the attention. She likes you. But more as a buddy, is what it sounds like. JMO and I'm really sorry. That's A-OK as she's not exactly what I am looking for but I guess my main question was, why would she be texting a guy / meeting up when she has a boyfriend? He cannot be cool with that. 1
chillii Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 29 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said: I get the attention w**** aspect but she gets so much of that I cannot fathom why she'd need me on the pile, and she won't get it either. I haven't hit on her, nor friend zoned myself either, I've remained vague. Last time we met she had a coffee for me when we met... Exactly , to hell with her attention she has a bf so if she's also chasing yet more attention then what does that tell you. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 25 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said: That's A-OK as she's not exactly what I am looking for but I guess my main question was, why would she be texting a guy / meeting up when she has a boyfriend? He cannot be cool with that. He might be. Or not. Relationships are all different and you really never know. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Maybe there are dynamics of her being a mere "trophy"... and maybe that gets pretty boring unless you're one of the tens of thousands admiring the trophy. The 'boyfriend' could be ANYthing in the way of a shallow mind. A more pressing question might be: "do you really stand to gain anything by ever finding out even that much?" (tiz possible that it is best left one of life's mysteries... (and of course you can keep admiring on Instagram) ) 1
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 I'll ask her about it all and see what she says, if she wants to be dog walker buddies fine but I want to know that her BF is ok with it but I get the feeling that isn't the case, and no, I wouldn't GF a girl that did/does that to someone because it'll only happen to me. 1
Maldives Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 This type of woman be very wary what she'd do to him she'll do to you 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 2 hours ago, CLS63AMG said: That's A-OK as she's not exactly what I am looking for but I guess my main question was, why would she be texting a guy / meeting up when she has a boyfriend? He cannot be cool with that. To be fair, you have no idea what sort of relationship they have. Maybe he's fine with her having male friends. Maybe he's got female friends. I have a couple close male friends, always have. My partner knows them, likes them, and is fine with it. Same goes for him, for some dear female friends he's known for a long time. Some folks are not uncomfortable with opposite-sex friends as long as boundaries are respected. You also don't know what her intentions are. She might not be attracted to you, and thus is fine being a bud and sees no issue meeting to walk the dogs. Only time will tell if she's trying to be sneaky. 3
Haerts Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 39 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: To be fair, you have no idea what sort of relationship they have. This! She might see you as a friend and that's it. And it's a good sign that she told you she has a boyfriend, she might be trying to make you see that she's not looking for anything other than a friendship (at least that's something I would do and see if the guy would take the hint). I would ask something like @Fox Sake 's suggestion and see what would be her answer. If she's trying to be sneaky, run away. If she's looking for a friend, I suppose you'll know from her reply anyway. 1 1
d0nnivain Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 My God. The woman met you while walking your dogs. She enjoyed talking to you. In an era when there is not much else people can do for social interaction she probably came to rely on these walks as part of her mental well being. Yet people are trying to equate walking & talking -- G-rated friendly activities -- to something sexual. It's a walk & a chat. It's not sticking her tongue down your throat or jumping in bed with you. You don't even mention flirting, just talking. Why can't this interaction be what it is? Pure & simple. My husband doesn't have to be involved in every walk I take or every conversation I have. Chatting with a man in a public place while walking a dog is hardly inappropriate. 1 1
Velvet teddy Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 9 hours ago, CLS63AMG said: So about a month ago I am walking my dog and got to chatting with a girl that also had a dog, ended up getting along and walking together. Got her number and we met a week later and did the same thing, then again another week later when she leaked it that she had a boyfriend. I was polite and never contacted her again as I will not chase a girl in a relationship, now she's texting again asking how I am doing and wanting to meet up. What's going on here? No girlfriend, or even girl-friend I've ever had would do that when in a relationship. Is she lining up the dudes replacement? (and no, I royally doubt he knows she's out walking the dog with another guy for the ones that think its a "friend" thing) Ignore her. If she really does have a bf she shouldn't be this engaging with another male.
smackie9 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) I have always agree with D0nnivain, but this situation is different than a casual running into someone and talking. She hands over her number, and she had coffee in hand for the OP. That's dating stuff even tho it may not be her intention, and wants a friendship. The problem is, she gave the OP the impression she was interested in him romantically. She hooked him in first then threw the BF card.....screeeeeeech! brakes are on. Just be honest with her that you don't feel comfortable with this because she has a BF and leave it at that. Edited July 18, 2020 by smackie9
d0nnivain Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 The can be a fine line between friendly & flirting. I draw it differently then some based on these posts. Getting somebody coffee is kind. I don't think it crosses lines. That said, if the OP is uncomfortable he should express that to this dog walker. There are gentle ways to do it without sounding morally superior, accusing her of being a cheater or coming across like an egomaniac who thinks no woman can resist him. I'd say something like "I'd like to meet your BF. Maybe the 3 of us plus the dogs can do something." Just like she mentioned the BF to draw a boundary, him mentioning meeting the guy shows respect for their relationship.
smackie9 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: To be fair, you have no idea what sort of relationship they have. Maybe he's fine with her having male friends. Maybe he's got female friends. I have a couple close male friends, always have. My partner knows them, likes them, and is fine with it. Same goes for him, for some dear female friends he's known for a long time. Some folks are not uncomfortable with opposite-sex friends as long as boundaries are respected. You also don't know what her intentions are. She might not be attracted to you, and thus is fine being a bud and sees no issue meeting to walk the dogs. Only time will tell if she's trying to be sneaky. It's true I know a married hippy couple that are very OK with having opposite sex "relationships" as long as they are not romantic or sexual in nature. BUT it's not that common. My buddy told me upfront how open him and his wife are with os friendships. This woman has been not very forthcoming.
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: The can be a fine line between friendly & flirting. I draw it differently then some based on these posts. Getting somebody coffee is kind. I don't think it crosses lines. That said, if the OP is uncomfortable he should express that to this dog walker. There are gentle ways to do it without sounding morally superior, accusing her of being a cheater or coming across like an egomaniac who thinks no woman can resist him. I'd say something like "I'd like to meet your BF. Maybe the 3 of us plus the dogs can do something." Just like she mentioned the BF to draw a boundary, him mentioning meeting the guy shows respect for their relationship. Also, super-outgoing people can seem to be flirty. They may even actually flirt, more or less : i.e. be teasing, laugh a lot and so on. They just instinctively know how to "connect" with people and they can be intensely interested in other people and all of that can definitely seem like flirting. My sister is outgoing and social. She instantly knows how to talk to EVERYBODY and loves meeting new people. She knows what to say in a really energetic way rather than stale small talk and you meet her and five seconds later you feel you've known her for a lifetime. Or rather, that she's always known you. But she's like that with everybody (unless of course she gets a bad vibe from the person). And laughs confidently and cheerfully teases and engages with men, yes. And women. And babies. And old people. It's NOT about wanting to get down with the person. OTOH she does like attention. She's not a perfect person, just an extroverted one. Social people get energy from being in the company of other people...so there is never such a thing as too many friends. I'm not saying there's no way this woman is setting up the OP as a stand-in boyfriend as the OP thinks. But if she is, make no mistake, the OP is one of many and if he goes away today she'll get another one tomorrow. He's one of a list of admirers in that case, make no mistake. Just from the description...Instagram model, outgoing toward a strange guy, and all that. World of pain, OP, world of pain. I'd just stay away. Be honest, are you really just dying to be this girl's platonic friend? It's not worth worrying about, just kind of don't answer her texts - making a deal of it ("I'm uncomfortable about your boyfriend") will end up feeling humiliating, she'll look at you like you have two heads and then tbink: awww, this little dude kind of liked me, it's so cute and sweet but...yeah, I'll just take one of my girlfriends out for coffee instead. Of course I don't KNOW all this and I could be wrong but just from reading it, it seems sort of transparent to me. JMO. Edited July 18, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl
Author CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: I have always agree with D0nnivain, but this situation is different than a casual running into someone and talking. She hands over her number, and she had coffee in hand for the OP. That's dating stuff even tho it may not be her intention, and wants a friendship. The problem is, she gave the OP the impression she was interested in him romantically. She hooked him in first then threw the BF card.....screeeeeeech! brakes are on. Just be honest with her that you don't feel comfortable with this because she has a BF and leave it at that. Always the voice of reason smakie, I think it started PG and now she's getting hot, I don't want to ruin a relationship or some guys life though. When she said she had a BF I didn't contact her and it went for about 2 weeks then she texted me out of nowhere asking how I was doing / want to meet.
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