Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Hinge , a girl asked to match with me. Chatted a few days but she never asked questions. Answered everything I asked. Asked her for a date before I wrote her off as a non questioner and only interested in attention. Because really what did I have to lose. She agreed on a date, to my surprise. I suggested something fun and chill , like a walk, a drive, mini golf, or some food or something. There’s nothing else really opening up for another while here so options are limited. She suggested I come to hers and watch a movie with her and chill. 3 hour drive but my brother stays locally to her so I said I would go stay at his place after the date. Now , it would be totally naïve of me to assume sex is on the cards. Im happy just to chill and get to know each other. If it happens- a lot can change in 4 days! I’m half tempted to tell her not to expect sex but that may come across like I was expecting her to expect it, but I fear that could also have the opposite effect. From my past experience, when you tell someone that you’re not gonna sleep with them right away it has the effect of making them want what they can’t have. I just think it’s an odd request to invite a guy 13 years older than you(she’s 21 I’m a young looking and probably quite immature 34) , that you’ve never met or know much about into your house? Opinions please?
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 I think she's crazy for inviting a stranger into her house. At her age she probably doesn't recognize the danger or the signals she's sending out. If the roles were reversed & you were a woman, I'd be screaming at you to stay away from some guy's house for a 1st date because he might be a rapist or an axe murderer. So you need to exercise the same caution because I am not that sexist. You don't know her. You can't assume she won't roofie you & steal your wallet or tie you to the bed ala the movie Misery. At age 34 do you really want to get involved with such a childish, naive woman who doesn't think things through? What other bad choices does she regularly make? How many other men were invited over for a 1st date? If she can't be bothered to go for a walk or play mini-golf with you, why do you want to bother with her? 3 3
Realitysux Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 She invited you to her house so she is willing to take responsibility, instead of telling her anything, if it comes to that point then explain to her that you would prefer to wait for sex. 1
Erik30 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 29 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: I’m half tempted to tell her not to expect sex but that may come across like I was expecting her to expect it, but I fear that could also have the opposite effect. Yeah definitely don't tell her that... she'll probably cancel if you bring that up. Having said that, I think it's very possible she wants to hook up since it's at her place, so just go and have fun if that's what you want 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 Thanks @d0nnivain, I agree with everything you’ve written. It does seem a bit crazy and more to the point she’s not even the girl I was really interested in that made my tummy do a backflip when asked for a match, who actually made effort and complimented my name etc. She hasn’t replied yet after asking to match and I responded , and I’m not expecting one. Would be a nice surprise tho! For this date who invited me to hers, It’s going to be piss easy for her to stalk me online and find out a lot more about me, (I mean really easy cos there’s only one of me and she knows my name..) so I think it’ll be obvious I’m not dangerous or creepy , but I totally see your point. Maybe I need to do some digging on her, she seems pretty normal tho... I was date raped once for a girls sexual gratification btw. I was 18 ... I know right? Weird to hear a guy say that. It doesn’t really bother me too much now but made me feel gross and confused at the time.... I can’t believe I just admitted that... 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 20 minutes ago, Realitysux said: She invited you to her house so she is willing to take responsibility, instead of telling her anything, if it comes to that point then explain to her that you would prefer to wait for sex. @Realitysux Playing devils advocate it’s interesting hearing different age groups give their take on this matter. I agree with what you say too
Realitysux Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Just now, Fox Sake said: @Realitysux Playing devils advocate it’s interesting hearing different age groups give their take on this matter. I agree with what you say too I need your advice in a pm .. I read a post
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Erik30 said: Yeah definitely don't tell her that... she'll probably cancel if you bring that up. Having said that, I think it's very possible she wants to hook up since it's at her place, so just go and have fun if that's what you want It’s been almost 5 years since I last had a date! (Fwb doesn’t count in my book) I’ll take your advice too. My brother said the same thing. Thank you. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Realitysux said: I need your advice in a pm .. I read a post Pm me sorry I had to edit the post cos the emoji that my phone used didn’t look as stupid as the one it was translated too! Edited July 17, 2020 by Fox Sake Trash emoji
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 Ah well that was short lived I got unmatched . Not sure why but definitely for the best I think. Sorry for wasting all your time! 2 1
Versacehottie Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 2 hours ago, d0nnivain said: I think she's crazy for inviting a stranger into her house. At her age she probably doesn't recognize the danger or the signals she's sending out. If the roles were reversed & you were a woman, I'd be screaming at you to stay away from some guy's house for a 1st date because he might be a rapist or an axe murderer. So you need to exercise the same caution because I am not that sexist. You don't know her. You can't assume she won't roofie you & steal your wallet or tie you to the bed ala the movie Misery. At age 34 do you really want to get involved with such a childish, naive woman who doesn't think things through? What other bad choices does she regularly make? How many other men were invited over for a 1st date? If she can't be bothered to go for a walk or play mini-golf with you, why do you want to bother with her? Excellent points. I really wasn't thinking of it like this at first but this is 100% the truth. Why can't she be bothered to do one of the choices that is outside her place? It's poor judgement. If she wants to be respected and keep herself out of troubled she shouldn't take this route. We know you are lovely Fox Sake so she has little to worry about with you. But wow that is 0 to 100mph real quick. Absolutely makes you wonder if she is not discriminating about it with other guys. I'm not so much scared for you but I do think she wants to hook up. It's so funny without doing f*ck all that she is up for that. Kind of immediately loses it's appeal, no? I mean at least she should play the game let you take her to mini golf and then head back to her place. Also if you are staying for 4 days, why not see how it goes day 1 and then she can invite you over night 2. The lack of judgement kind of makes me think she won't be a true prize. I think if you go, do things at your pace. That cuts both ways for male and female. Don't feel pressured. And of course, it will probably make her want it more. And if she had naive intentions but not hooking up ones, she will appreciate you for getting to know her (& of course prob still want it but in the more normal, gf material type way). Goodluck 2
Versacehottie Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 ohhh lol, right after i finished my reply. oh well, maybe she was an escort? No joke. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 Just now, Versacehottie said: Excellent points. I really wasn't thinking of it like this at first but this is 100% the truth. Why can't she be bothered to do one of the choices that is outside her place? It's poor judgement. If she wants to be respected and keep herself out of troubled she shouldn't take this route. We know you are lovely Fox Sake so she has little to worry about with you. But wow that is 0 to 100mph real quick. Absolutely makes you wonder if she is not discriminating about it with other guys. I'm not so much scared for you but I do think she wants to hook up. It's so funny without doing f*ck all that she is up for that. Kind of immediately loses it's appeal, no? I mean at least she should play the game let you take her to mini golf and then head back to her place. Also if you are staying for 4 days, why not see how it goes day 1 and then she can invite you over night 2. The lack of judgement kind of makes me think she won't be a true prize. I think if you go, do things at your pace. That cuts both ways for male and female. Don't feel pressured. And of course, it will probably make her want it more. And if she had naive intentions but not hooking up ones, she will appreciate you for getting to know her (& of course prob still want it but in the more normal, gf material type way). Goodluck Aww thank you for your incredibly kind words! God I love you people of LS. And because you gave me such an amazing reply I’ll justify you with an awesome one back. Mini golf would have been fun, but she probably wanted a hole in one and I just could deal as there were some things that didn’t sit right with me. Like zero questions asked. No phone call bla bla. In fact the last message I sent was asking for a call before I came down so chances are she could even have been a scammer and bitten off more than she could chew ... s*** ... D0no could have been right! I wasn’t staying for 4 days , it was gonna be 4 days before I could down and spend a few hours there! I know I’m crazy and all, but I draw the line at being mental and spending 4 days with a girl on the first date . I fancy being able to use my legs. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 3 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Aww thank you for your incredibly kind words! God I love you people of LS. And because you gave me such an amazing reply I’ll justify you with an awesome one back. Mini golf would have been fun, but she probably wanted a hole in one and I just could deal as there were some things that didn’t sit right with me. Like zero questions asked. No phone call bla bla. In fact the last message I sent was asking for a call before I came down so chances are she could even have been a scammer and bitten off more than she could chew ... s*** ... D0no could have been right! I wasn’t staying for 4 days , it was gonna be 4 days before I could down and spend a few hours there! I know I’m crazy and all, but I draw the line at being mental and spending 4 days with a girl on the first date . I fancy being able to use my legs. lol..and thank you. I thought since you're brother lives nearby you would be going down to his place for 4days and squeezing in a date or two with her depending on how they were going. Uh, yeah, no to the a first date that is 4 days, especially if she won't get on the phone with you. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: lol..and thank you. I thought since you're brother lives nearby you would be going down to his place for 4days and squeezing in a date or two with her depending on how they were going. Uh, yeah, no to the a first date that is 4 days, especially if she won't get on the phone with you. No I had some tree clients to take care of for another few days. But hey , score for me - saved myself 6 hours drive and tonne of diesel and now I’m open to meeting someone better and more compatible 2
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, enigma32 said: Most people using OLD are hooking up like that, don't be surprised. And yeah, if you went to her place sex was likely gonna happen. She unmatched you because like everyone else using OLD, she is a flake. She was probably chatting with other guys and decided to meet one of them instead. Or she is just a game player and had no intentions of escalating things. If it's any consolation, I got date raped by a girl last year. Not traumatized, if anything, I think it makes her look sad. Sex or certain death lol , I think I dodged a bullet. I find it funny that asking for a call seems to have been the deciding factor for the dirty delete. Ad you say tho, she probably found someone else , and that wouldn’t surprise me. She was quite attractive but dumb as a brush. I don’t feel like it was a real account ... something felt really odd about it from the start Edited July 18, 2020 by Fox Sake Literally missed out entire words. Who’s dumb as brush now ...
Ruby Slippers Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Yeah, sounds like a fake account or something shady. I also think you dodged a bullet and can do a lot better. 2 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Yeah, sounds like a fake account or something shady. I also think you dodged a bullet and can do a lot better. Thank you so much @Ruby Slippers wow for rejection I gotta say, it’s left me unusually happy! I’m taking that as a good sign lol 1
Versacehottie Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Yeah I think you will find someone way better--she honestly doesn't even sound right for a hookup. Dumb as a brush i'm going to use that saying. 2
CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 Don't consider it a done deal, girls are crazy right now and all the ones I meet online jump at the chance to come over "for a walk" (yeah right). I bailed on most of them but met one a few days ago and she didn't look a thing like her photos so during the walk I made an excuse for being busy later and cut her loose. Just saying you might drive all the way there and not be into her at all, and she's looking to get plowed. 1 1
CLS63AMG Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Fox Sake said: Ah well that was short lived I got unmatched . Not sure why but definitely for the best I think. Sorry for wasting all your time! She got what she needed locally or the horn wore off, or the more likely scenario, rebounding and the ex came back.
Author Fox Sake Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said: Don't consider it a done deal, girls are crazy right now and all the ones I meet online jump at the chance to come over "for a walk" (yeah right). I bailed on most of them but met one a few days ago and she didn't look a thing like her photos so during the walk I made an excuse for being busy later and cut her loose. Just saying you might drive all the way there and not be into her at all, and she's looking to get plowed. Thanks for the reply , I actually just replied to your thread at the exact same time lol. Just make sure you read the whole thread here and you’ll realise it’s no longer on the cards! edit - ahh s*** you just did before I pressed send Edited July 18, 2020 by Fox Sake
ccas93 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 that just sounds like classic dating app behavior from a girl in the 18-22 range or so. I'm about to be 27 and I no longer talk with that age range. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 3 hours ago, Fox Sake said: Aww thank you for your incredibly kind words! God I love you people of LS. And because you gave me such an amazing reply I’ll justify you with an awesome one back. Mini golf would have been fun, but she probably wanted a hole in one and I just could deal as there were some things that didn’t sit right with me. Like zero questions asked. No phone call bla bla. In fact the last message I sent was asking for a call before I came down so chances are she could even have been a scammer and bitten off more than she could chew ... s*** ... D0no could have been right! I wasn’t staying for 4 days , it was gonna be 4 days before I could down and spend a few hours there! I know I’m crazy and all, but I draw the line at being mental and spending 4 days with a girl on the first date . I fancy being able to use my legs. OMG, the mini golf comment. 1
basil67 Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 11 hours ago, Fox Sake said: I was date raped once for a girls sexual gratification btw. I was 18 ... I know right? Weird to hear a guy say that. It doesn’t really bother me too much now but made me feel gross and confused at the time.... I can’t believe I just admitted that... Not weird at all. As a very young teen, I was coerced and groped against my will into sexual activity by an older man and an older teen and thought it was 'normal'. So I did the same to other young men because 'normal'. I'm not the only girl who's had this cause and effect happen to her. Absolutely gross and confused as a recipient and absolutely mortified to look back at what I'd done. As a consequence, my sex ed discussions with daughter involved not only giving consent, but receiving consent. 1
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