I'm taking a break from dating, because I keep attracting toxic girls

[Lotsgoingon]

Avoiding toxic people, people who show early on major problems, doesn't limit our social lives. It frees us up to find all the people out there who aren't obviously toxic.

You may have a malfunctioning strategy both ways. So one way is ... let's be blunt: you're attracted to toxic people.  That's something want to investigate and dump. But you might have another bad strategy, one that unfortunately complements your attraction to toxic people. I'm thinking you may be turned off of people who are more confident, together, non-manipulative, non-toxic. You might not feel safe with non-toxic people. They might scare you. 

BTW: what I'm talking about happens deep in the unconscious and within seconds. The choice isn't toxic people or loneliness. No, you have, though you don't know it, GONE OUT OF YOUR WAY to find these toxic people. Most people would run without thinking, without effort. Why are you attracted to these people? Why scares you about non-toxic women? 

 

[808Traveler]

On 7/17/2020 at 6:45 PM, ShyViolet said:

If a person is toxic, they would probably show some red flags very early on.  In the past have you ignored these red flags?  Not recognized them?

Yes, I chose to ignore the red flags

[808Traveler]

On 7/19/2020 at 2:22 PM, d0nnivain said:

No.  It's the opposite.  You get too intense, give too much & expect too much too soon. 

The last girl you posted about after blowing the 1st date you made too many self depreciating cringeworthy apologies.  Then you scheduled an expensive sky diving 2nd date on your birthday.  We warned you that was too much too soon but you insisted.  As predicted she thanked you for the expensive thrill & walked away.  

Now you explain that you are bi-polar.  Having lived with a guy with that condition, let me tell you when he was off his meds that roller coaster was no fun for me.  

Taking a break from dating to get yourself on a more even keel is a great idea.  It's not all your EXs who are toxic.   Your role in the demise of these relationships has to be examined

She ended up coming back and we dated for the last month.  We slept with each other and everything was going good until she asked me if I stilled smoked.  I told her I was working on quitting and she got really upset that I didn't tell her sooner.   

[Wiseman2]

Did you lie about being a smoker? Make sure you are taking care of your mental and physical health.

[smackie9]

Are you are the white knight, that rescues these broken women that tell you their past relationships were horrible and they are so hard done by?

[balletomane]

That doesn't sound like toxic behaviour, OP. Smoking/drug use are dealbreakers for some people. It sounds like the two of you just weren't compatible.

Did you mislead her over the smoking?