dangerous Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 I'm after some opinions please on a slightly unusual texting dynamic: I've met this girl on OLD and we are texting before we meet. Unfortunately, I was taken suddenly ill and so I can't meet up as quickly as we wanted to, and I won't back in action for around 2 weeks. We text most days but not all, for about 2 weeks so far. She sounds intelligent (as well as attractive and is local too.) Whenever I text her she always responds quickly, no games, and her responses are intelligent and warm, and at least as long as mine, if not longer. She doesn't play games with delays. This is the thing: I always text first, and she always responds promptly. If I leave it 3 days, I won't hear from her, but as soon as I text she comes back to me (even if she's at work, after only a short delay), She continues to say she wants to meet up as soon as I'm better. In a way it all seems normal and good, but I wanted to ask you ladies if its a red flag that she doesn't text first, or are there still some old fashioned girls, perhaps, who want the guy to do the chasing? She is very attractive btw, so I have no doubt she gets guys after her all the time.
Blind-Sided Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Well... since you haven't even met in person yet... sounds kind of normal. 2
chillii Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Yeah of course , there are still some with a bit of old school dignity and it's not about you chasing, not only but she may just take time too build up especially at this stage and you haven't even met yet. But anyway she still sounds interested so if things are still good by the time your up and able again just meet and take it from there. 3
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 There is no texting pattern. It's not like reading tea leaves & you can't tell much from how frequently or not somebody texts. Stop looking for meaning where there isn't any She's responsive. That is good. You haven't met yet & she knows you have been ill. She probably doesn't want to bother you. You could make a small joke about how you'd like it if she contacted you once in a while. Talk about that being the best medicine. When you meet in person then you can better assess the situation, 2
Versacehottie Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 I think she is just letting you initiate. The old fashioned approach. As far as a texting pattern, it's good/promising. She is just letting you take the lead at this point. To be seen, what her future texting pattern will be or the outcome of her interest overall. Obviously, once you meet or start dating it can go a variety of ways. I think you have nothing to worry about at the moment. Good luck 3
Mystery4u Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 You haven't met yet.. why would she be putting in any effort initiating texting when you might not even get past the first date? She has already told you she wants to meet you. Until then cut out the pointless texting. You are the man, off course it is your job to chase.
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 She's ain't gonna put in any effort until after you meet and she likes to see you more. Right now, she doesn't know you so why the hell should she be invested? Remember you are still only an option in a sea of opportunity. 1
Author dangerous Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 Thanks guys n gals, you have confirmed my own thoughts. It feels good at the moment so will keep it as it is until we can meet. 4
Ruby Slippers Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 As long as she's receptive and enthusiastic when you get in touch, it's nothing to be concerned about. I'm receptive not assertive in the early stages of romance. I never initiate early on. Like many women, I like a go-getter who goes after what he wants, like to know that he's really interested in me. 3
Maldives Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) I swear I had the same thing recently I gave up in the end. I should add we had met twice in person as well and still the same I think she only reached out once in the space of a few weeks after I let it go for a week thinking she wasn't interested.. it wasn't that though that I gave up I could go along wth me initiating it was more so her personality one time I dropped her back at her place no thanks nothing it was really late and I had to work the next day that's where I decided to pull the plug. Actually I tried one more time initiating another date but the weather was bad her words so I just stopped Edited July 17, 2020 by Goodguy05
salparadise Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Yea, it's strange how some women are about initiating or reciprocating in any way at all. Feels like games. I matched with an interesting (but different) woman yesterday and she sent a first message saying my profile was hilarious. So we chatted awhile and all seemed good so I asked for a date. Then a long pause, and finally she says that in order not to waste my time she wants to chat more to see if we vibe before we schedule a meeting. I replied, "sure, understand." And that was the last message sent by either. I guess she wants me to ask a hundred questions, or tell jokes, or be extremely clever... I just don't feel like jumping through hoops and being judged. Her loss. 3
Ruby Slippers Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) It's not about jumping through hoops. It's about giving the man the opportunity to express enthusiasm for you and take initiative to get to know you. A go-getter who's interested won't have any problem doing this, and for most women it's a big turn-on to feel this enthusiasm and desire targeted at her. Having to prod a man to take initiative is a turn-off for most women. What she said was a cue for you to take the initiative to chat and establish a vibe. Women are usually attracted to men who know how to initiate and lead the dance of communication. Edited July 17, 2020 by Ruby Slippers 2
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 23 minutes ago, salparadise said: So we chatted awhile and all seemed good so I asked for a date. Then a long pause, and finally she says that in order not to waste my time she wants to chat more to see if we vibe before we schedule a meeting. I replied, "sure, understand." And that was the last message sent by either. I guess she wants me to ask a hundred questions, or tell jokes, or be extremely clever... I just don't feel like jumping through hoops and being judged. Her loss. In the short time I did OLD I needed a few days of communication & at least 2 phone calls before I would agree to meet. I was simply scared / nervous about meeting a stranger off the internet. Logically I know that a few phone conversations didn't make the guy any safer then 1 conversation but it gave me a (false) sense of comfort. That said in the situation you described, I would probably give it a day the reach out to the man. After I did that if she still thought I was showing low interest because I wasn't rushing to meet, I would give up on him for not being understanding. Given Covid you need to factor in possible health concerns.
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