Philosopher Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 The weekend before last I got chatting to a women online and we quickly exchanged phone numbers. I called her up the next day and we had a twenty minute phone chat that seemed to go well. During the phone call she said ‘how come you are still single’, which I thought was a bit too much to say to someone you have never spoken too. So I suggested meeting up the next day. She said she would confirm the following day. At this point I was not expecting anything to happen as in my experience a non committal yes usually is a no. The following day (Tuesday) to my surprise, she confirmed the date. Therefore we met that evening for a drink and a meal and there seemed to be quite a bit of attraction. I ended up paying the whole date however and I do not recall her offering to pay her half. A couple of days later on Thursday, I called her up suggesting we go for a long walk on Friday. She said yes, however the next day she cancelled about an hour before the date saying she had period pains. Therefore I suggested we meet up sometime on the weekend, however she said she had to work. So on the Saturday I asked her if she wanted another date. She said she was and that she would get back to me this Tuesday on when she could next meet. On the Tuesday we agreed to meet this at nine this evening, in the centre of the city. Just as I had set off at eight thirty, I got a missed call and a few messages a minute later saying she had only just got back home from work and she sounded a bit annoyed that I was answering her call. I called her up, she asked to meet somewhere closer to where she lived and I so I agreed to meet her by her nearest station. I arrived at the station at quarter past nine and let her know I was there. She said she was not ready yet. Five minutes later she messaged me saying she was on her way though. Twenty minutes later, still no sign of her, so I asked her where she was and she said she was just getting on a bus. By quarter to ten there was still no sign of her. At that point I messaged her saying I was going to leave it for another time as it was getting too late. Following the message, she called and I once again said I think it is too late so I am leaving it for another time. My instinct is not to pursue this any further as I am getting bad vibes about her. I am correct in having these suspicions. 1
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Philosopher said: The weekend before last I got chatting to a women online and we quickly exchanged phone numbers. I called her up the next day and we had a twenty minute phone chat that seemed to go well. During the phone call she said ‘how come you are still single’, which I thought was a bit too much to say to someone you have never spoken too. So I suggested meeting up the next day. She said she would confirm the following day. At this point I was not expecting anything to happen as in my experience a non committal yes usually is a no. The following day (Tuesday) to my surprise, she confirmed the date. Therefore we met that evening for a drink and a meal and there seemed to be quite a bit of attraction. I ended up paying the whole date however and I do not recall her offering to pay her half. A couple of days later on Thursday, I called her up suggesting we go for a long walk on Friday. She said yes, however the next day she cancelled about an hour before the date saying she had period pains. Therefore I suggested we meet up sometime on the weekend, however she said she had to work. So on the Saturday I asked her if she wanted another date. She said she was and that she would get back to me this Tuesday on when she could next meet. On the Tuesday we agreed to meet this at nine this evening, in the centre of the city. Just as I had set off at eight thirty, I got a missed call and a few messages a minute later saying she had only just got back home from work and she sounded a bit annoyed that I was answering her call. I called her up, she asked to meet somewhere closer to where she lived and I so I agreed to meet her by her nearest station. I arrived at the station at quarter past nine and let her know I was there. She said she was not ready yet. Five minutes later she messaged me saying she was on her way though. Twenty minutes later, still no sign of her, so I asked her where she was and she said she was just getting on a bus. By quarter to ten there was still no sign of her. At that point I messaged her saying I was going to leave it for another time as it was getting too late. Following the message, she called and I once again said I think it is too late so I am leaving it for another time. My instinct is not to pursue this any further as I am getting bad vibes about her. I am correct in having these suspicions. NEXT 3
snowboy91 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 At best it shows she's quite disorganised and doesn't value others' time all that well. Assuming she's interested, would you still want to date someone who's that flaky? At worst, well she's clearly not all that interested. Either way you look at it, they're red flags. I wouldn't waste your time and effort. 4
FMW Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 Your instinct is right. Don't put any further effort into this. If she contacts you, and you're bored and have nothing better to do, then you can choose how to respond.
Alvi Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 Well, she stood you up. Doesn't matter why. Don't contact her again, ever. Block her and don't give a second thought about it. 1
Maldives Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) She sounds disorganised and rude straight off the bat Wait for her to contact you and don't reply lol Edited July 17, 2020 by Goodguy05
spiderowl Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) Sounds very odd because she kept in touch despite not managing the date. I think you did the right thing by giving up on it when she still hadn't managed to get there. You weren't rude, just factual by the sound of it. Whatever you felt about this woman initially, she doesn't seem to have much spare time and is unable to organise herself. Even if she really was trying to meet you and everything went wrong for her, it sounds like she had a lot of bad luck and some people seem to attract this. On that basis, I would say you are best moving on. Edited July 17, 2020 by spiderowl 1
ShyViolet Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 She blew you off more times than I could even count reading your post. She's completely flaky, not a good quality. 2
Ami1uwant Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 This is something context and info real matter... what sort of job job does she have and can she easily have to adjust her schedule or need to work longer. I am more sympathetic to someone who cancels due to not feeling well ir work ran late. in between dates was there some communication?
Grey40 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 When you talked to her at 830 and agreed to meet closer to her place did you specify a time? If not, that’s kind of your fault. You should have asked what time she wanted to meet and how long it would take her. if you did specify a time and she was late, then she just blew you off and wanted to pretend like she wasn’t ghosting you. In that case, don’t bother with her again at all. If she has any interest she’ll reach out and give you a nice long apology and explain herself in detail. If she does that, then and only then will you reconsider based on the excuse. But I don’t think you’ll hear from her personally.
Author Philosopher Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 7 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: This is something context and info real matter... what sort of job job does she have and can she easily have to adjust her schedule or need to work longer. I am more sympathetic to someone who cancels due to not feeling well ir work ran late. in between dates was there some communication? She is a nurse so worked shifts. I think there was a fair amount of conversation between dates, but not too much, probably about two or three messages a day, although some days had no communication.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Maybe she picked up on your annoyance that she didn't offer to pay "her half" of a date YOU suggested. 1 1 1
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Whether she was full of it or not, follow your gut.
Author Philosopher Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 23 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Maybe she picked up on your annoyance that she didn't offer to pay "her half" of a date YOU suggested. During the date I did not express any annoyance at this, in fact I did not really think about it at the time. I just remember she did not offer to pay at all. I think it is polite to at least offer to pay something. 3
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 2 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Maybe she picked up on your annoyance that she didn't offer to pay "her half" of a date YOU suggested. Maybe YOU should re-read the post. I didn't see anything that suggested he was annoyed at all. But it is something guys think about, if a woman doesn't even offer it shows entitlement and low class- regardless who set up the date. It's 2020 Georgia, and everyone wants to be treated equally right? 2 hours ago, Philosopher said: During the date I did not express any annoyance at this, in fact I did not really think about it at the time. I just remember she did not offer to pay at all. I think it is polite to at least offer to pay something. Agree. 1
introverted1 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) As others have said, she is either disinterested, unorganized, or disrespectful of your time. None of these are any good. And yes, she should have offered to pay on your date. Edited July 17, 2020 by introverted1 1
pinkpaw Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 She sounds temperamental and with a sense of entitlement. 1
Author Philosopher Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 4 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Flaky as hell. Next! I have today told her that I do not think the dating will go anywhere, which she agreed. Hopefully better luck next time. 4
Watercolors Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Philosopher said: I have today told her that I do not think the dating will go anywhere, which she agreed. Hopefully better luck next time. Good for you. Don't let her contact you and breadcrumb you either. She may try to reach out to you in a week or two, to claim she's more organized etc. etc. but that would just be an excuse for her poor behavior. Hopefully the next woman you match with, will treat you better.
Ami1uwant Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 13 hours ago, Philosopher said: During the date I did not express any annoyance at this, in fact I did not really think about it at the time. I just remember she did not offer to pay at all. I think it is polite to at least offer to pay something. Given she she was running late I would have just cancelled it and post pinned it. Another thing..do you have to start conversations?
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