Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 I have already unmatched this guy, so no going back (not gonna track this one down Facebook). But I wonder if I was right about this. We met yesterday and had a good date, it streched out until quite late and he didn't seem to want to end it. I really liked him too. He walked me home and we said we will meet today again, because both will be unavailable until the next week. He texted yesterday right after we parted and continued texting during the day today as well. In the morning he wrote "so maybe it's time to make you a birthday celebration tonight" (I revealed yesterday, that it happened to be my birthday) and I thought he's gonna invite me somewhere cause he proceeded to ask me about my favorite cuisine etc. But the evening came and there was no plan and no invitation. I was quite confused and asked him "so I didn't quite understand - what about tonight?". He didn't answer for more than an hour and came back with "What did you not understand? (Smiley face) I, for example, was at the dance lessons, and you?". Nothing more. I got upset and unmatched him. It felt really confusing and almost rude. It's weird to say you'll text someone to make plans, mention meeting up the next day and then suddenly act like you don't know what's up, isn't it? I don't like men sending me mixed messages. I feel like if he changed his mind he should have rescheduled asap. In any case, if a guy doesn't immediately reschedule, it feels like low interest to me. Or am I overreacting in such cases? I feel like I might be cutting people out too fast sometimes... at least my mom thinks so
Erik30 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 I think this might be a misunderstanding. Maybe he thought you weren't being serious about meeting up. If it was me, I would assume you would have other plans on your birthday instead of hanging out with a guy you had one date with... 4
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 5 minutes ago, Erik30 said: I think this might be a misunderstanding. Maybe he thought you weren't being serious about meeting up. If it was me, I would assume you would have other plans on your birthday instead of hanging out with a guy you had one date with... I do have plans for the whole weekend with my family, and my real was on that first date, I only revealed that fact after the date 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 First (possibility... though not especially my guess ) : Could he have communicated to you via other means (email, or possibly even a missed text?) about some random "dance lesson" (of the sort which you might have talked about ON this nice date you shared) ... and you didn't GET the communication, and thus didn't show up at some dance lesson?
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Acacia98 said: Did he wish you a happy birthday? He said happy birthday. I wouldn't have revealed it, but there was a confusion about my age and I had to tell I just turned 31. That's not the point though. Even if it was a misunderstanding, he still said we should meet today and that he will let me know which time. And then acted as if nothing. For me it says low interest... 1
Erik30 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 4 minutes ago, Lorenza said: I do have plans for the whole weekend with my family, and my real was on that first date, I only revealed that fact after the date Ah I see, I thought your birthday was the day after. Then yeah, it is weird. 2 hours ago, Lorenza said: he wrote "so maybe it's time to make you a birthday celebration tonight" Maybe he was just talking about you celebrating on your own? (With friends) Since you had that date on the actual day. Happy Birthday btw
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 Just now, SincereOnlineGuy said: First (possibility... though not especially my guess ) : Could he have communicated to you via other means (email, or possibly even a missed text?) about some random "dance lesson" (of the sort which you might have talked about ON this nice date you shared) ... and you didn't GET the communication, and thus didn't show up at some dance lesson? No, we were texting on tinder during the day about random stuff. He didn't even get my number actually. I knew he goes to dance classes, but he didn't say that when we were saying goodbye and that we will meet the next day. He said he has the time
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Erik30 said: Ah I see, I thought your birthday was the day after. Then yeah, it is weird. Maybe he was just talking about you celebrating on your own? (With friends) Since you had that date on the actual day. Happy Birthday btw I told him my whole family is coming to the capital on Saturday and that I haven't yet made friends here to celebrate with (i moved here in early spring and then the quarantine hit, so no friends here yet), so yeah... Also, thanks! Edited July 16, 2020 by Lorenza 1
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 I'm guessing he went out with someone from the dances and there was no need to meet up anymore, so he kinda pretended he doesn't know why I'm confused 1
Erik30 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 9 minutes ago, Lorenza said: he still said we should meet today and that he will let me know which time. Yeah there's no misunderstanding here if he said that, so you're probably right about him having low interest. I guess he changed his mind for some reason. Sorry you "wasted" your birthday on him
Interstellar Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 when he said maybe it’s time to make a birthday celebration tonight what’s your reply? you didn’t seem like you said anything and he assumed you’re not interested or it’s a no. yes, that was vague of him to say and not very confident. but he should not ask you out on such a short notice either ie. the day after your date and on your birthday unless he’s your boyfriend.
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 3 minutes ago, Interstellar said: when he said maybe it’s time to make a birthday celebration tonight what’s your reply? you didn’t seem like you said anything and he assumed you’re not interested or it’s a no. yes, that was vague of him to say and not very confident. but he should not ask you out on such a short notice either ie. the day after your date and on your birthday unless he’s your boyfriend. I said "oh yes please! Its my birthday for the rest of the week haha ". But birthday talk aside, we said we should meet up today and that he will let me know which time, and he still didn't, birthday or not
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Erik30 said: Yeah there's no misunderstanding here if he said that, so you're probably right about him having low interest. I guess he changed his mind for some reason. Sorry you "wasted" your birthday on him I had nothing to do anyway, and it was a nice day despite everything... Just a pity, cause I like maybe 1 guy out of 10 I go on dates with. So 10 more days until meet someone I like again, I'm just so tired
Interstellar Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 4 minutes ago, Lorenza said: I said "oh yes please! Its my birthday for the rest of the week haha ". But birthday talk aside, we said we should meet up today and that he will let me know which time, and he still didn't, birthday or not ah, then it was rude of him to make you wait an hour and pretend that he didn’t know.
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Lorenza said: I had nothing to do anyway, and it was a nice day despite everything... Just a pity, cause I like maybe 1 guy out of 10 I go on dates with. So 10 more days until meet someone I like again, I'm just so tired Just imagine being a guy on OLD and only getting a few dates here and there. All the women I know personally that are on OLD have their inboxes full of messages and prospective dates! OLD for men is absolutely horrible... good luck anyways, and...... Happy Birthday! 2
Acacia98 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 5 minutes ago, Lorenza said: He said happy birthday. I wouldn't have revealed it, but there was a confusion about my age and I had to tell I just turned 31. That's not the point though. Even if it was a misunderstanding, he still said we should meet today and that he will let me know which time. And then acted as if nothing. For me it says low interest... I didn't say it was the point, though. I asked that question because I wasn't there, so I have no idea what else happened in your interaction. It's kind of hard to guess what someone's intentions were if you don't have much contextual information.
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Backinthesaddleagain said: Just imagine being a guy on OLD and only getting a few dates here and there. All the women I know personally that are on OLD have their inboxes full of messages and prospective dates! OLD for men is absolutely horrible... good luck anyways, and...... Happy Birthday! This guy was so suprised that (his words! I dont consider myself that, he was good looking too) someone so out of his league would go out with him. Does everything to prolong the date. Immediately says we need to meet the next day. And then just wastes it.
Interstellar Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, Lorenza said: This guy was so suprised that (his words! I dont consider myself that, he was good looking too) someone so out of his league would go out with him. Does everything to prolong the date. Immediately says we need to meet the next day. And then just wastes it. maybe he’s gay...lol Edited July 16, 2020 by Interstellar
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Acacia98 said: I didn't say it was the point, though. I asked that question because I wasn't there, so I have no idea what else happened in your interaction. It's kind of hard to guess what someone's intentions were if you don't have much contextual information. I didn't say you said that, lol just making sure posters know he said we should meet without the birthday context too...
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 Just now, Interstellar said: maybe he’s gay...lol Heh, what is he doing dating women then. And staring at their decolte
brokengirl85 Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 Well, it may be that he was being nice and didn’t want to let you down, specially on your bday. unfortunately, this Happens. i have to add that you might have sounded a little desperate and desperation is not attractive. having a first date on your bday (!) faves the idea you have no friends (this can o cannot be true, but if I don’t know you I’d think you’re lonely) asking him that “you don’t understand” puts the other person in an uncomfortable situation as well.
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Lorenza said: This guy was so suprised that (his words! I dont consider myself that, he was good looking too) someone so out of his league would go out with him. Does everything to prolong the date. Immediately says we need to meet the next day. And then just wastes it. Yeah that is really weird. Who knows? Maybe he has his eye on someone else? Maybe you said something that turned him off? Maybe he thought you were too good for him? Maybe he is schizophrenic? It's best not to dwell on it and just move on. If you are as pretty as you say, it shouldn't be a problem finding someone. Hell, I'm single!
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 Just now, brokengirl85 said: Well, it may be that he was being nice and didn’t want to let you down, specially on your bday. unfortunately, this Happens. i have to add that you might have sounded a little desperate and desperation is not attractive. having a first date on your bday (!) faves the idea you have no friends (this can o cannot be true, but if I don’t know you I’d think you’re lonely) asking him that “you don’t understand” puts the other person in an uncomfortable situation as well. I don't have any friends in this city. I moved back to my home country after 12 years of absence, right before the quarantine started. At my new workplace I saw my collegues for entire 3 weeks until we all started working from home which we still do. Family members live on the other side of the country. I think it's understandable why I am alone in the middle of the working week on my birthday
Author Lorenza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Backinthesaddleagain said: Yeah that is really weird. Who knows? Maybe he has his eye on someone else? Maybe you said something that turned him off? Maybe he thought you were too good for him? Maybe he is schizophrenic? It's best not to dwell on it and just move on. If you are as pretty as you say, it shouldn't be a problem finding someone. Hell, I'm single! I have been single for 4 years, so yeah, beauty is not all that. Especially if you struggle to find the depth and the connection you long for. Every guy I like doesn't act the way I'd like them to. But the ones I don't - no problem! They will schedule dates immediately, be super clear, super generous and leave no confusion... it is a struggle 1
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