deepthinking Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: It reminded me of a scene from Borat! Or maybe it was The Dictator. One of Sasha Barren Cohen’s other movies. And seeing as I think in pictures and not words, remembering the scene made me laugh. That’s all there is to it. Don’t take it personally. edit - sorry if I offended you! I am a woman too, so just stop giving us a bad name, no need to perpetrate a stupid joke Edited July 16, 2020 by deepthinking 1
Fox Sake Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 3 minutes ago, deepthinking said: I am a woman too, so just stop giving us a bad name, no need to perpetrate a stupid joke How am I giving you a bad name? That makes zero sense
Realitysux Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, Fox Sake said: How am I giving you a bad name? That makes zero sense You aren't giving anyone a bad name. I enjoy your posts a actually and learned something about myself in one of them yesterday 1
Realitysux Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 2 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: How am I giving you a bad name? That makes zero sense I also don't think you are of acquired taste or weird. The thing is we have our own battles with ourselves and we have to either accept them or fix them before we share them with other people. I read that in another post of yours but it's relevant to this one. I am a fun person and make friends easily but that doesn't mean I can emotionally connect with someone and give myself to that person. I may be envious of someone else that can as part of the grass is greener but it would mean that person isn't suitable for me. I will find the right person when I am ready to and in the mean time, I'm going to use this forum and work on my life. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 Dating is a try out or audition designed to help you figure out if you & the other person click long term If you are already unhappy for any reason on date 3, there is no reason to go on date 4. It really is that simple. 2
Versacehottie Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) yeah I'm 50/50. If I was in your shoes, I would have enough information to move on. That said, no real harm in making sure with a 4th date that you are not having a knee jerk reaction. I think it matters very little what you do but that you will probably stop seeing him, it's just a matter of when. I absolutely think as someone more eloquently (than I did!) put it above, that OP you need to work on making sure you what are the boxes you tick off actually are comprised of qualities that mean something and that you give weight to those that mean the most. Job, physical attraction is like just the opening the door for a date--continued dates and a relationship should be about personality and values, having a good time together. If you don't have that, you have virtually nothing. So you should learn how to QUALIFY someone for date one and subsequently be assessing if there is enough of the right stuff for a longer term connection to keep going. Those are the series of things people should do to see if this person meets a threshold at steps along the way,. Not hold onto the same superficial things that attracted you to him in the first place as if they have non-superficial value. They don't really. A little, but very little--and would be negated by the presence of negative qualities--which it seems like where it is headed. I think this guy's crude jokes and inept social skills are a dealbreaker, especially since they turn you off. Maybe he was just nervous, especially with the lack of eye contact but I think he's probably cut from a different cloth Good luck Edited July 16, 2020 by Versacehottie 1
poppyfields Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: I think this guy's crude jokes and inept social skills are a dealbreaker, V, you are usually quite insightful, but this^ is an assumption with no basis in fact. My take is he has Tourette's as others have opined, or a form of autism. His blurting out "fu*kkk" at the oddest moments point to something deeper than crude or inept social skills. Jmo. That said, the OP is certainly within her right to move on if it's a turn off. 1
Realitysux Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: V, you are usually quite insightful, but this^ is an assumption with no basis in fact. My take is he has Tourette's as others have opined, or a form of autism. His blurting out "fu*kkk" at the oddest moments point to something deeper than crude or inept social skills. Jmo. That said, the OP is certainly within her right to move on if it's a turn off. I echo this 1
Versacehottie Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: V, you are usually quite insightful, but this^ is an assumption with no basis in fact. My take is he has Tourette's as others have opined, or a form of autism. His blurting out "fu*kkk" at the oddest moments point to something deeper than crude or inept social skills. Jmo. That said, the OP is certainly within her right to move on if it's a turn off. Yeah he could have Tourettes, but my guess is he's just a normal guy with that demeanor, which I have seen in life & are far more common. As I said, she could give him a 4th date to find out for sure where she stands. If she finds out that he has autism or Tourettes on that one, well some compassion would be good though she still might not want to date him. 1
Realitysux Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 2 hours ago, deepthinking said: I am a woman too, so just stop giving us a bad name, no need to perpetrate a stupid joke @Fox Sake defence, I've read your earlier threads on covert narcissist and you need to educate yourself before you comment with the big guys. Go make your dinner party, you are running a bit late 1
Realitysux Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 21 minutes ago, poppyfields said: V, you are usually quite insightful, but this^ is an assumption with no basis in fact. My take is he has Tourette's as others have opined, or a form of autism. His blurting out "fu*kkk" at the oddest moments point to something deeper than crude or inept social skills. Jmo. That said, the OP is certainly within her right to move on if it's a turn off. I strive to be someone like you. I wish God made me more like you .. OMG I should stay in bed all day and wish I was you and ha a bf like you 2
dangerous Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) He's ticked all your boxes OP? You really need to re-do your check-list and add some extra boxes! :)) lol Edited July 16, 2020 by dangerous 2
SumGuy Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 17 hours ago, enigma32 said: This guy is an absolute douche. Agreed. OP need to add that as a box..not a douche. Run don't walk to the nearest exit.
SumGuy Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 4 hours ago, Versacehottie said: Yeah he could have Tourettes, but my guess is he's just a normal guy with that demeanor, which I have seen in life & are far more common. Agreed. Seen the same thing so many times, that or Tourettes is epidemic and contagious. 1
Author DelarosaKandy Posted July 18, 2020 Author Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) Wow, I did not think this would get so many responses! haha! Okay so I'm giving him a 4th date on Monday night (I know weird night but I have work and summer school right now). I'm glad to read that I'm not being overly picky about his traits and everyone else seemed to cringe and understand my perspective. My friends always say I kick people out too quickly so I'm trying my best to be open-minded right now. But, yes his jokes were cringe-worthy and really weird. And, I ABSOLUTELY believe this guy IS socially inept. He was extremely quiet on our first date but he said he was shy and he opened up a little more on the 2nd. But, on our 3rd date... that was a whole other issue. Poor social skills absolutely, I'm kind of wondering if he has social anxiety? So, he says things to be funny or just to say it thinking he will look cool or hysterical but it came off odd and awkward. And, his lack of eye contact was another I didn't like either. I knew he listened because he repeated everything back but it didn't LOOK like he was listening. Tourettes... that's interesting. I thought about that too! But, he didn't do that on our first 2 dates. Can tourette's be controlled like that? Or again he has some weird anxiety disorder that causes him to do that too. And my boxes are superficial, yes. I'm 29 and most guys my age don't have their Sh$$ together. A lot of them are in between jobs and living at their parents house. So, I liked that he was stable, independent, and a hard worker like myself. I'm also very physically attracted to him which helps!! haha. And, the guys right now during this pandemic are HELLA HANDSY. A lot of them are becoming sexually aggressive and handsy with me lately or they insist I meet them at THEIR place for a date. And, he is NOT like that at all. So actually... I might be dating just because he feels safer than other guys right now. But, if I get too annoyed by his behavior on the 4th date I'll call it quits. Edited July 18, 2020 by DelarosaKandy adding information 1
Ami1uwant Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 26 minutes ago, DelarosaKandy said: Wow, I did not think this would get so many responses! haha! Okay so I'm giving him a 4th date on Monday night (I know weird night but I have work and summer school right now). I'm glad to read that I'm not being overly picky about his traits and everyone else seemed to cringe and understand my perspective. My friends always say I kick people out too quickly so I'm trying my best to be open-minded right now. But, yes his jokes were cringe-worthy and really weird. And, I ABSOLUTELY believe this guy IS socially inept. He was extremely quiet on our first date but he said he was shy and he opened up a little more on the 2nd. But, on our 3rd date... that was a whole other issue. Poor social skills absolutely, I'm kind of wondering if he has social anxiety? So, he says things to be funny or just to say it thinking he will look cool or hysterical but it came off odd and awkward. And, his lack of eye contact was another I didn't like either. I knew he listened because he repeated everything back but it didn't LOOK like he was listening. Tourettes... that's interesting. I thought about that too! But, he didn't do that on our first 2 dates. Can tourette's be controlled like that? Or again he has some weird anxiety disorder that causes him to do that too. And my boxes are superficial, yes. I'm 29 and most guys my age don't have their Sh$$ together. A lot of them are in between jobs and living at their parents house. So, I liked that he was stable, independent, and a hard worker like myself. I'm also very physically attracted to him which helps!! haha. And, the guys right now during this pandemic are HELLA HANDSY. A lot of them are becoming sexually aggressive and handsy with me lately or they insist I meet them at THEIR place for a date. And, he is NOT like that at all. So actually... I might be dating just because he feels safer than other guys right now. But, if I get too annoyed by his behavior on the 4th date I'll call it quits. As I said in my post i bet he has some form of aspersions or autism spectrum disorder. In this can be some social awkwardness. ask him how many friends ( not coworkers,not relatives) he has. They usually skew lower than normal.
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