amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 I’m seeing two men right now and am attracted to them in different ways. One is a man I worked with who walked me to my car my last day there. Sex was terrible, we only did it one time but something is very wrong with his penis. He’s super nice and he will do anything in this world for me but I feel shallow for not accepting him for who he is. I just wish he’d go see a doctor about getting his penis fixed. It’s an insult to me that he hasn’t in a way. I’m sure whatever they’ll do is going to be painful, it’s his penis. So I’m selfish for that because I’m putting my pleasure above his pain and he’s selfish for putting his lack of pain above my pleasure even though he’ll have pleasure too if he goes through the pain. I just wish his dick wasn’t all messed up. 3 1
basil67 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 What's wrong with his dick @amaysngrace? If it's something like Peyronies disease, there's little which can be done about it.
Author amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 I don’t know @basil67 It’s all sideways and shoots off early. I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. It’s a shame because his body’s awesome otherwise and he looks like Richard Gere and we get along pretty well, we have a lot in common with similar values but that penis of his scares me.
basil67 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) I understand your disappointment, but it's probably nothing like the disappointment he feels. Not all body malformations can be fixed, so please don't take his malformation as a personal affront. Even if you can't make it work, compassion would be a much more helpful approach than taking it as an insult. Edited July 7, 2020 by basil67 3
Author amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 He didn’t use to have that problem. He has a daughter and he’s had girlfriends for like five and six years after his divorce. It’s his penis. It’s not like his ears stick out. I’m not trying to be insensitive and even called myself selfish @basil67 but I’m too young to do without sex forever which is basically what he’s expecting of me. 1
FMW Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 8 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: but I’m too young to do without sex I don't think you're being insensitive. It would be different if you had been in an established relationship for a long time and then whatever it is went wonky. In that situation then of course you should be supportive and there for him. But he's a new guy, you're not that invested, so no need to just deal with it. Sex is an important criteria for you in choosing who to get involved with, absolutely nothing wrong with that. No matter how great a guy he is otherwise, it sounds like you wouldn't be happy. Best for both of you for you to just move on if there isn't a reasonable possibility of things changing. Have you actually talked about it with him? As basil suggested, it may not be something he can do anything about. If you really like him at least talk about it and see. Don't just leave it up to him to explain it to you or assume that he doesn't care enough about you to "do" something about it. If you care enough about him - talk about it. 2 1
Author amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 4 minutes ago, FMW said: Have you actually talked about it with him? A little. He says comments like he has ED and he’s broken but I never know what to say about that without sounding mean. The things he says he says in passing, it’s not like a serious conversation and I feel like I initiate one it’s going to make him feel very bad. But I also think me being okay to see him and kiss him and hug him is giving the impression that I’m okay with him and accepted him and I really haven’t. I’m so sad about this I cry as I write this. 1 1
elaine567 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/peyronies-disease/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20353473 - Peyronie's disease 1 1
FMW Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 6 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: giving the impression that I’m okay with him and accepted Yes, you're probably right. I know it's awkward, but have a complete conversation about it. Sure, it might make him feel bad. But the alternative is you ending the relationship, and I think he should appreciate the chance to save it if possible. If he doesn't react well, that's your answer. You tried and you can let it go knowing you made an effort. 1 1
basil67 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 39 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: He didn’t use to have that problem. He has a daughter and he’s had girlfriends for like five and six years after his divorce. It’s his penis. It’s not like his ears stick out. I’m not trying to be insensitive and even called myself selfish @basil67 but I’m too young to do without sex forever which is basically what he’s expecting of me. I do understand the frustration. And I get that you're conceding the selfish part...I'm more getting at how you feel it's an insult. Because it's not an insult I also agree with having a conversation. When he raises the issue, ask more about it. Asking if he's seen a urologist is a great place to start and isn't at all mean. If he hasn't seen anyone yet, I would suggest you do a Google image search on Peyronie's disease and see if it fits. It tends to happen to older men and causes a weird shaped penis. 2 1
Author amaysngrace Posted July 8, 2020 Author Posted July 8, 2020 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: I would suggest you do a Google image search on Peyronie's disease and see if it fits. Yes. It looks like it could be that. I’ll try to talk to him about it and ask if he’s seen anyone for it. Thank you. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, basil67 said: What's wrong with his dick @amaysngrace? If it's something like Peyronies disease, there's little which can be done about it. OMG, I can't. (Sorry.) Oh Loveshack, Loveshack, Loveshack. ETA: WHY did I Google that... Edited July 8, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 3 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 44 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: A little. He says comments like he has ED and he’s broken but I never know what to say about that without sounding mean. The things he says he says in passing, it’s not like a serious conversation and I feel like I initiate one it’s going to make him feel very bad. But I also think me being okay to see him and kiss him and hug him is giving the impression that I’m okay with him and accepted him and I really haven’t. I’m so sad about this I cry as I write this. Oh no. I feel so bad now. I think the talk is a great idea. I'm sure he knows something is up, though. So it's not like it will be a surprise or a shock. Let us know how it goes. 1
basil67 Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 28 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: Yes. It looks like it could be that. I’ll try to talk to him about it and ask if he’s seen anyone for it. Thank you. My husband has it - that's how I know. His isn't severe like some of the pictures though. I should correct myself when I said that not much can be done. Hubby was told that if sex was possible they'd leave it alone, but it looks like there could be treatment for worse presentations. Good luck. 2
Author amaysngrace Posted July 8, 2020 Author Posted July 8, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: I'm more getting at how you feel it's an insult. Because it's not an insult I see it being an insult because we’ve been hanging out since March and he didn’t get it fixed yet. Plus he knew I wanted sex. I was more passionate about it than he was and one time I wanted to spend the night and he blew me off the night before and the day of our tentative plans. I was so happy it was finally going to happen and he blew me off and made me sad rather than let me see him naked. And now I’m being the exact shallow person he was afraid I was by trying to keep me from seeing his dick. I think I need to be done with him and move on to the next one more or maybe just be alone or something.
Author amaysngrace Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 I ended it tonight with the one guy from my old job. He got a little sad but he handled it well. We didn’t talk about his problem although I did say intimacy is important to me but I mostly went with the incompatibility angle. We are just so different and I’m a lot more like this other guy I spent 4th of July with sleeping at his house. We’re both from the same town and we even had sex one time when we were younger. He tells me he love me long time. It’s true you can’t put a price on the connections you have had since you were little. It’s no pretending because they already know who you are. It’s just so comforting. 2
hotpotato Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 On 7/8/2020 at 11:33 PM, enigma32 said: You guys just HAD to talk about some crooked penis disease, didn't you? Some things you just cannot un-see. @CaliforniaGirlYou listed off most of my dating requirements but you missed a few You ladies that think you need to put a lot of work into your appearance are mostly wrong. You might run into a picky dude here and there, but I have never cared if a girl had her nails done, her hair colored, or much anything else. I even prefer women who don't wear makeup. My GF almost never wears any of it. I think all that work women put into their appearance is just to make themselves feel better because most men really aren't asking for that crap. I agree. I think most women overestimate what it takes to attract a man. If you're a woman of childbearing age, have t & a, and have a vjay, men want you. Most women will come out of puberty with what they need to attract a man, they just need to not lose it. In fact, from what I've seen men are sexually attracted to most women they see. Also, many men are sexually pursuing women they dont find particularly attractive. Most men on the other hand are quite men in my opinion. I'm not attracted to a man bc hes a man and is anatomically correct. My sex drive isn't strong enough for me to have sex with a man for it's own sake. I'd say it's much easier for me to completely be without a man than for a man to completely be without a woman. 3
SumGuy Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 (edited) On 7/7/2020 at 6:32 PM, amaysngrace said: ... It’s all sideways and shoots off early. .. No doctor here but believe those are unrelated, the premature ejaculation thing is something I'd think he could work on and it can see how that could lead to irreconcilable sexual incompatibility. As to ED, that is so easily fixed in like 90% of men if the never ending adds are to be believed. The sideways thing, again no doctor, but have read you can break your penis and such things can result. However, it may be sideways when out and about, but when in action does it matter that much? Edited July 11, 2020 by SumGuy
Author amaysngrace Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 No 1 hour ago, SumGuy said: However, it may be sideways when out and about, but when in action does it matter that much? It’s sideways when hard and I’m not into side humping which I would need to do because it points towards his hip. I can’t unsee that either. It’s really a shame because every other part of him is esthetically pleasing but I can’t have him tearing me up. I don’t care how awesome his biceps are. 1 1
SumGuy Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 16 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: No ....I don’t care how awesome his biceps are. Fair enough...and 6 months at the gym and almost any guy can have awesome biceps 1
Author amaysngrace Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 1 minute ago, SumGuy said: 6 months at the gym and almost any guy can have awesome biceps He should of just got it fixed if I meant that much to him, right?
SumGuy Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 4 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: He should of just got it fixed if I meant that much to him, right? I would if could afford it (a big IF in the US) and the possibility of complications was not to great...without knowing more (and I am not going to google it...there are things I wish not to see as well) it could be much very complicated and hard to fix. 1
Author amaysngrace Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 Yes please don’t google it @SumGuy you can’t unsee it 1
Author amaysngrace Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 So I have a date with guy #2 tonight, he’s cooking dinner for me. He’s the one I slept with once when I was 17 and he was 20 and he’s from the town our summer house was at. I slept with him because I didn’t want to get a reputation back home plus I really wanted to. First we had sex in the beanbag chair then we had sex in the shower while his gf banged on the window peering in. Good memories. He came and picked me up on his Harley and I went and broke my vegetarian diet with him by sharing a cheesesteak. He also just got a hellcat and that thing is smokin’ hot. 707 hp baby! He also has a couple jet skis, a boat, a camper, like four trucks, a Jeep Wrangler and he wants to cook for me. How could I possibly say no??
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