themoment Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 Hello everyone, hope you all are doing well in times like these I have been seeing this man since the beginning of june, I like him and have honestly felt he likes me too. We haven’t discussed what we ‘are looking for’, he has only talked about wanting kids in the future, he has also mentioned that he wants to get to know me, last time he said it we were talking about his mother feeling unwell, and his problems at work. He told me that he wants to get to know me instead of talking about his problems.. I told him I don’t mind talking about such things, as it’s good for me to know what’s going on in his life. The thing is, I feel very comfortable together with him, I know we have only known each other for 5-6 weeks’, but we have talked about how it feels like we have known each other for longer than that. He says things like ‘he get’s a little happy when he finds my hair in his apartment’, and I got happy when he had bought me a toothbrush for his apartment, his lovely kisses on my forehead...small things, you know? Fast forward to last week and I went to his summer house for a few days. It was nice, most of the time. We have never spent that much time together, but it still felt natural..or good. When I decided to go back home he told me that he felt as he was ‘in my way’, maybe he could tell that I was stressed about my trip home. He kissed me goodbye and hours later I text him to tell him I made it home safe, and hoped he would enjoy the last couple of days in the cabin, he replies by saying that he is happy I made it home safe, and ‘talk to you soon’. This was almost a week ago now. I have not messaged him on purpose because I wanted to see if he would text me. I would want him to take initiative! I wonder if this has anything to do with me telling him I don’t like texting, I told him such in the very beginning, our first date, I believe. He knows I don’t like spending time with my phone, and avoids it as much as possible, but still? During these 5-6 week's we haven't texted every day, which is fine with me..we have met 1-2 a week. It just makes me a little sad, or let’s not downplay it, it makes me sad that he hasn’t texted me, yet. I know that open communication is important, and I would like to speak to him about my thoughts on more frequent communication, if we are on the same page there, but then the ego takes over telling me ‘ if he liked you he would text’. I’m just confused. One who cannot dare to open up one’s heart has never lived, and I agree with that, I would just like an opinion from a different perspective. My mind is spinning and creating unnecessary anxiety.
smackie9 Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) A week and he hasn't text you "Are you ok?" he's not really that into you sorry. Any guy that wanted to be serious with me, made it known within the 3 weeks of dating. This guy is just keeping his options open. Guys on an a few articles I have read were asked why they didn't text or keep in contact...the answer was because they didn't want to. So yes you are right, if he actually cared about you he would contact you...a day or two that's a pass, but a week is an epic fail. Edited July 14, 2020 by smackie9
FMW Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 4 hours ago, themoment said: ‘ if he liked you he would text’ I would put it more as if he was interested ENOUGH in you, he would text. Not everyone stays glued to their phone or likes to text a lot. But going a week without contact after spending several days together at his place would concern me too. 4 hours ago, themoment said: When I decided to go back home he told me that he felt as he was ‘in my way’ Did you not have a definite amount of days planned for the visit before going? If you did and decided to leave early I can see where he would take that as your lack of interest. If it's worth it to you to give it a shot, go ahead and text him to just ask how he's doing or something casual. See how he responds. There might be some crossed signals here between you where you're each unsure and waiting on each other to reach out, or he could just not be interested enough to have missed you yet. 1
smackie9 Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 IMO if you contact him and he gives you some excuse and you let it pass...all you are doing is rewarding the behavior.
Fox Sake Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) I have a slightly different view of this. I’ll tell you right now you need to speak to him and ask him what’s going on. I think you’ve got this the wrong way.. My spidey senses are tingling! He sounds like a sensitive guy. You left his summer house and you think he knew you were stressed about going home. what he said was he felt he was in your way. So I don’t think he realised that you were stressed about leaving. He probably thought you were checking out cos he felt the dynamic change and you assumed he knew what it was about. You messaged him a few hours after you left and told him that you were home, and for him to enjoy the rest of his time there alone. No questions? No “I had an amazing time with you” ? etc etc His reply to you saying speak soon was evident that he thought something had changed. It honestly sounds like he was giving you space or he felt rejected. NB. Then you decided to play the game and not text him and wait for him to text you. If you like someone then why bother playing mind games like that? He’s probably thinking the same thing “if she liked me she would text or call” I have a really sneaky feeling that you’re both feeling exactly the same way. Due to the lack of open communication and honesty it’s caused a divide. Edited July 14, 2020 by Fox Sake Words missing... 1
Crazelnut Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 Jeez, stop "testing" men you're interested in. Call him and talk to him like a grownup. 2
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) Since you were the one who departed early, and his comment that he felt he was "in your way," maybe he's feeling insecure/uncertain about you, and waiting for you to reach out to him? Why play that game? It's so silly. Again you left, he felt he was in your way, put yourself in his shoes. He's uncertain about you and now you've gone NC for a week? What do you think HE is feeling right now? Edited July 14, 2020 by poppyfields 2
Maldives Posted July 15, 2020 Posted July 15, 2020 He might be thinking the same thing as you and waiting on you to text. I think he may have remembered what you said about texting too so he's waiting on you possibly
Maldives Posted July 15, 2020 Posted July 15, 2020 3 hours ago, poppyfields said: Since you were the one who departed early, and his comment that he felt he was "in your way," maybe he's feeling insecure/uncertain about you, and waiting for you to reach out to him? Why play that game? It's so silly. Again you left, he felt he was in your way, put yourself in his shoes. He's uncertain about you and now you've gone NC for a week? What do you think HE is feeling right now? I agree with the above I been Ina similar situation and never heard from the lady in one instance and in another instance she finally reached out after 2 weeks
Recommended Posts