Fox Sake Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 So almost 5 years single is long enough for me. I’m happy on my own , but it would be real nice to have someone to share things with and not just settling for ons or fwb. They serve no purpose other than selfish reasons and I feel like I’ve taken the time out to be single and work on myself. My local area is a no-go. When they said incest was a game for all the family , I think they took it literally here. Plus everyone knows exactly who I am or one of my brothers. I guess that kind of leaves me open to LDR for now. So what are your experiences in sites or apps? Where to go and where to avoid? I had reasonable success after many months of membership with Eharmony once before , but I did a great job of f***ing that relationship up, and I’m not sure if I can be arsed spending another 6 months cruising through a website of mostly dead profiles until I find someone who a)I’m attracted to, and b) is the same kind of weird as I am! 1
Miss Spider Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 When I was dating, my favorites were tinder and okcupid, but I guess it really depends on what's popping in your area. I never tried the paid sites like Eharmony ...My guess would be that they are a lot slower. Good luck, Foxxy. You are a good person. Want you to be happy 3
Ellener Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 I've had a few nice dates with match.com once I worked out how the hell to filter the matches and got into the habit of 'remove from search' so the same ones didn't keep showing up. 1 hour ago, Fox Sake said: same kind of weird as I am! Like that! 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: When I was dating, my favorites were tinder and okcupid, but I guess it really depends on what's popping in your area. I never tried the paid sites like Eharmony ...My guess would be that they are a lot slower. Good luck, Foxxy. You are a good person. Want you to be happy Thank you Cookies! I’m not a fan of tinder. The only thing that caught fire was my finger from swiping left for no. The matches are also mostly too local as well. I need to look further afield. It’s a bit crazy not knowing where I’ll be living next year, cos I’m ready to move, which does kind of make things a little more difficult. 1 hour ago, Ellener said: I've had a few nice dates with match.com once I worked out how the hell to filter the matches and got into the habit of 'remove from search' so the same ones didn't keep showing up. Like that! It’s true tho! Or at least someone who will accept it as part of who I am. I feel like I’m an acquired taste 1
Ellener Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 50 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: I feel like I’m an acquired taste Wait until you get to my age...Chateau Mouton is an acquired taste 2
Maldives Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 Personally they all suck theyre designed to keep you coming back having said that lots of singles are on them now . Tinder I would say is probably the best followed by Zoosk or Badoo. Zoosk has the least scammers on there as you have to subscribe to message. POF is free but nobody is serious on there lol rarely get a response on that one 1
Ami1uwant Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 5 hours ago, Fox Sake said: So almost 5 years single is long enough for me. I’m happy on my own , but it would be real nice to have someone to share things with and not just settling for ons or fwb. They serve no purpose other than selfish reasons and I feel like I’ve taken the time out to be single and work on myself. My local area is a no-go. When they said incest was a game for all the family , I think they took it literally here. Plus everyone knows exactly who I am or one of my brothers. I guess that kind of leaves me open to LDR for now. So what are your experiences in sites or apps? Where to go and where to avoid? I had reasonable success after many months of membership with Eharmony once before , but I did a great job of f***ing that relationship up, and I’m not sure if I can be arsed spending another 6 months cruising through a website of mostly dead profiles until I find someone who a)I’m attracted to, and b) is the same kind of weird as I am! Unsure what USA based sites exist where you are..from my xperience Match owns a bunch of dating sites from its namesake to others like 50 and older, markers, and other fetishes. peoplego between different sites...same people. Are you expecting them to move to ehere you live? 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Unsure what USA based sites exist where you are..from my xperience Match owns a bunch of dating sites from its namesake to others like 50 and older, markers, and other fetishes. peoplego between different sites...same people. Are you expecting them to move to ehere you live? Thanks for the information! That’s the thing. I’m not expecting anything. I go with the cards life deals me at the time. I’m open to moving or being moved to, it doesn’t phase me either way. I’m self employed so it’s easy enough to do my own thing, failing that I have other skills to fall back on Edited July 13, 2020 by Fox Sake
dangerous Posted July 14, 2020 Posted July 14, 2020 The dating apps change over the years, so if for example Tinder worked for you 5 years ago, or your sister met her husband 6 years ago, this has NO relevance to today. There are more people on them, different protocols and behaviours, and far more scammers. Also a big factor is where you are. eg I live in a market town in the midlands and I get far fewer possibles, or matches, and have to extend the distance to say 30 miles! If however I am on a trip to London, or Manchester, I can run out of swipes within 1 or 2 miles! Good luck! 1
scooby-philly Posted July 15, 2020 Posted July 15, 2020 Yeah - I'm almost 11 months out of a relationship and while COVID is still raging I get online dating isn't even that much of an option....but I'd be really interested in hearing people's perspectives as right before it hit, though I was probably way too raw and unprepared for dating, Match.com - which I had used 2x before going back all the way 10 years ago - was HORRIBLE. Within a 70 miles radius of me (which was my search zone) and only using 3 filters - age, height (up to 5'9 - which is still pretty tall for a women) and "curvy" or below in size - there were literally maybe 1,000 active women on there. I mean - a 70 mile radius from me is like close to 20 million people. It was awful. Any single guys 35-40 with advice, let me know! (of course, it's not my only "weapon" - I do a lot of stuff "irl" to meet people too) 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 15, 2020 Author Posted July 15, 2020 30 minutes ago, scooby-philly said: Yeah - I'm almost 11 months out of a relationship and while COVID is still raging I get online dating isn't even that much of an option....but I'd be really interested in hearing people's perspectives as right before it hit, though I was probably way too raw and unprepared for dating, Match.com - which I had used 2x before going back all the way 10 years ago - was HORRIBLE. Within a 70 miles radius of me (which was my search zone) and only using 3 filters - age, height (up to 5'9 - which is still pretty tall for a women) and "curvy" or below in size - there were literally maybe 1,000 active women on there. I mean - a 70 mile radius from me is like close to 20 million people. It was awful. Any single guys 35-40 with advice, let me know! (of course, it's not my only "weapon" - I do a lot of stuff "irl" to meet people too) Well I have some info for you. I tried Hinge recently. I’ve had only 12 matches or something in the last few days, most of which, bar a few, can’t make or hold conversation at all which I found quite depressing , a turn off and annoying to be honest. But that’s OLD for you. Anyways , I was meditating this evening and this girl asks to match with me , breaks my concentration so I go check her out. Not only was she next level beautiful, but she actually started a conversation! Loves my unusual name (IRL) and complimented me on it, asked where it came from bla bla. Even if don’t hear from her again It’s nice to know that not everyone is useless at conversation. That’s the motivation I needed to keep going . I’ve definitely had more luck getting matches on there than anywhere else I used in the past. I’m 35 in like 11 days btw so I’m pretty sure I fit your age bracket for advice. 2
Grey40 Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 My suggestion is to use all the dating apps simultaneously and be on them as much as you can. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, FB Dating, OkCupid. I use all of them on a regular basis and I can get anywhere from 1-4 dates per week. I don’t live in a city either. I am above average looking which helps but it’s mostly about the grind. It’s a numbers game and almost like applying for jobs, you really have to build matches like leads. The hardest part about it is handling rejectionZ you have to learn to use that as motivation and realize that 99.5% of the time you’ve been rejected or the conversation died out has nothing to do with you. And you move on to the next. This won’t guarantee you’ll find the love of your life or wife, but if you want to have successful odds/probability that’s how to do it. I’ve been able to sustain 2-3 solid relationships from it over the past 4 years, all of them lasted like 3-6 months but it can Definitley work. 1 1
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Grey40 said: My suggestion is to use all the dating apps simultaneously and be on them as much as you can. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, FB Dating, OkCupid. I use all of them on a regular basis and I can get anywhere from 1-4 dates per week. I don’t live in a city either. I am above average looking which helps but it’s mostly about the grind. It’s a numbers game and almost like applying for jobs, you really have to build matches like leads. The hardest part about it is handling rejectionZ you have to learn to use that as motivation and realize that 99.5% of the time you’ve been rejected or the conversation died out has nothing to do with you. And you move on to the next. This won’t guarantee you’ll find the love of your life or wife, but if you want to have successful odds/probability that’s how to do it. I’ve been able to sustain 2-3 solid relationships from it over the past 4 years, all of them lasted like 3-6 months but it can Definitley work. Thanks @Grey40 What is FB dating? I didn’t think Facebook even had a dating thing?! Although I like your approach and building up matches like leads , I’m not really that fussed just now to be using multiple apps etc. I mean sure I would love to meet someone but it’s not the be all and end all and I don’t want to be putting any more of my time “searching for someone” I do agree with you on handling rejection. I think i deal with that quite well. sometimes. Had much practice in many areas of life What’s your take on the people who reply religiously but don’t ever ask questions? Seems to me like that’s a no go
Author Fox Sake Posted July 17, 2020 Author Posted July 17, 2020 Well f*** me freaky... I learned something new today. Go in for the kill asking for a date instead of idle chit chat getting to know someone. Asked one of the non questioners for a date next week, after I’ve finished up some tree surgery clients and she agreed 1
Giovane Posted July 18, 2020 Posted July 18, 2020 I live in a tourist hot spot... so Tinder is never "empty", there are always women to swipe through... only half of them are only where I live for a week or so...
Grey40 Posted July 19, 2020 Posted July 19, 2020 On 7/17/2020 at 6:43 AM, Fox Sake said: Well f*** me freaky... I learned something new today. Go in for the kill asking for a date instead of idle chit chat getting to know someone. Asked one of the non questioners for a date next week, after I’ve finished up some tree surgery clients and she agreed This was going to be my response to your previous question. 100% always go in for the date ASAP. I send max 4-6 messages back and forth and if they’re responsive I ask them for their number, and then text them to set up a date. You said you don’t want to “spend time” finding someone but just like anything else if you don’t put in the time and effort, there’s no reward. Spend most of your time swiping and matching, and less time talking to each individual match. Set up dates quick, if the person isn’t responsive and doesn’t answer within a week then delete and keep moving. 1 1
Weezy1973 Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 Could not agree more with @Grey40 . Use all the sites you can handle and ask for dates early in the process. Most of the times things won’t work out and that’s fine. Key is not to get discouraged.
CLS63AMG Posted July 20, 2020 Posted July 20, 2020 Do you need facebook for hinge? Isn't that all it does is match you with friends of friends or something.
Author Fox Sake Posted July 20, 2020 Author Posted July 20, 2020 23 hours ago, Grey40 said: This was going to be my response to your previous question. 100% always go in for the date ASAP. I send max 4-6 messages back and forth and if they’re responsive I ask them for their number, and then text them to set up a date. You said you don’t want to “spend time” finding someone but just like anything else if you don’t put in the time and effort, there’s no reward. Spend most of your time swiping and matching, and less time talking to each individual match. Set up dates quick, if the person isn’t responsive and doesn’t answer within a week then delete and keep moving. Thanks for your advice Got another date next week with a Dr. She seems cool. Been working today so I haven’t been on here. I’m done with using multiple dating apps...signed up for okcupid last night , put my settings to world wide and woke up to 39 messages and almost 400 likes. My mind is absolutely blown! Great ago boost but I simply don’t have the time to go through all that! I was on it just now and was like “I would rather be cruising through LS” haha! I think I’ll just stick with hinge or lower my search radius on OKC.
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