faithandfood Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 So I’m 22. Agreed to be FWBs with this guy I met in April. Honestly don’t even know why I did because he was disrespectful to me during our second meet: did not want to use condom, kept mentioning I had other guys, admitted he was talking to someone in a different state. Also I was a virgin at the time, so I was asking questions & he said that he doesn’t want to have it with me anymore bc then he’ll be attached me to forever. Because of all this, I left at 5 AM and he didn’t even walk to me my car. Took him off my socials until he messaged me and we talked it out and he apologized. Kept my distance and talked lightly until he asked me to be FWBs in June. He first said he figured out I was looking for that then said he wasn’t ready to commit rn. I agreed and he first wanted to do oral, but didn’t want to come to my place & lied about not having a mask (my place required it for visitors). Bc of this, I told him I wanted to forget the FWBs. He would also text late. He apologized. Okay cool. So he texts me like two weeks ago that he wants to meet. I agree as he went out of state. During that time, he would message me almost every day. We had sex about two weeks ago. Didn’t show any disrespect and kept asking if I was okay during it (guessing he thought I was still a virgin bc I didn’t tell him I lost it) it was good & I slept over and left the next morning. We talked twice afterwards & he told me he was at a dinner on Sunday & sent me videos (guessing it was a date but I didn’t ask). Now he hasn’t talked to me all week and barely watches my stories. I checked up on him on Tuesday & he left me on read after he said he was good. Just confused bc he would hit me up almost everyday before. It seems more like a FB situation. Like I don’t know if he’s pulling away because he thinks he’s my first. I figured we would be meeting daily since we live six minutes from each other.
Mystery4u Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 This is a troll post right? Everything you have posted is really hard to believe as you basically said some random guy who treats you like dirt and only sees you as a sexual object is allowed to have access to your body and you are fine with it. Have some self respect and know your worth, its embarrassing.
andy921 Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 (edited) I really hope you aren't serious because this is cringeworthy if it's true. You need major boundaries with this person and need to work on your sense of self esteem/self worth. This person sounds very abusive and manipulative. There is no need for you or anyone to put up with that. Edited July 12, 2020 by andy921
stillafool Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 No honey, it seems he just got what he wanted and now is only half way interested. You are correct that this is a FB situation.
stillafool Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 18 minutes ago, stillafool said: No honey, it seems he just got what he wanted and now is only half way interested. You are correct that this is a FB situation. Also you can expect this type of treatment from guys when you agree to be a FWB. It is sex with no commitment and they will never move you up from FWB to girlfriend. Not a good deal for women. 1 1
Emilie Jolie Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 Sounds like this is FwB situation without the friendship and only one-way benefits since you seem to have very little control over this situation. If that's not what you've signed up for, review this arrangement on your own terms. 1 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 Now that he's had sex with you, it seems he doesn't want to keep talking. He got what he was after and he doesn't appear to be too keen on doing it again. I'm sorry OP, but you are signing yourself up to get hurt here. It's better if you don't try to keep him in your life. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 He chatted a lot for those two weeks because he wanted to get laid. You knew he was a jerk from the get-go. 6
spiderowl Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 (edited) He just sounds like a player, sadly. He chatted you up till he got sex and then lost interest 'cos that's what these guys do. It's all about the challenge for them, not love. Don't let any guy treat you badly. The minute he says something remotely insulting or denigrating, walk out. Do not give him your time. You deserve so much better. If you ignore this guy completely, he is likely to return to see if he can get you again. That's when you carry on ignoring him and realise you have the power. You choose who to spend your precious time with, who you kiss and who you have sex with. Guys like this do not deserve the time of day. You will get good at spotting them. A guy who is really interested in more than sex - and who is a decent guy - will spend time with you, make arrangements to go out for a date or some kind of meeting out of your houses, he will treat you well, consider your feelings, and want to communicate regularly. He will not push you into anything. If you stand up for yourself and send the ignorant guys packing, you will find that only leaves the decent guys and that they are interested in you. I wish you happier relationships with guys than you have had so far. Edited July 13, 2020 by spiderowl 1
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, spiderowl said: He just sounds like a player, sadly. He chatted you up till he got sex and then lost interest 'cos that's what these guys do. It's all about the challenge for them, not love. Don't let any guy treat you badly. The minute he says something remotely insulting or denigrating, walk out. Do not give him your time. You deserve so much better. If you ignore this guy completely, he is likely to return to see if he can get you again. That's when you carry on ignoring him and realise you have the power. You choose who to spend your precious time with, who you kiss and who you have sex with. Guys like this do not deserve the time of day. You will get good at spotting them. A guy who is really interested in more than sex - and who is a decent guy - will spend time with you, make arrangements to go out for a date or some kind of meeting out of your houses, he will treat you well, consider your feelings, and want to communicate regularly. He will not push you into anything. If you stand up for yourself and send the ignorant guys packing, you will find that only leaves the decent guys and that they are interested in you. I wish you happier relationships with guys than you have had so far. Thanks so much. Edited July 13, 2020 by faithandfood
Velvet teddy Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 21 hours ago, faithandfood said: So I’m 22. Agreed to be FWBs with this guy I met in April. Honestly don’t even know why I did because he was disrespectful to me during our second meet: did not want to use condom, kept mentioning I had other guys, admitted he was talking to someone in a different state. Also I was a virgin at the time, so I was asking questions & he said that he doesn’t want to have it with me anymore bc then he’ll be attached me to forever. Because of all this, I left at 5 AM and he didn’t even walk to me my car. Took him off my socials until he messaged me and we talked it out and he apologized. Kept my distance and talked lightly until he asked me to be FWBs in June. He first said he figured out I was looking for that then said he wasn’t ready to commit rn. I agreed and he first wanted to do oral, but didn’t want to come to my place & lied about not having a mask (my place required it for visitors). Bc of this, I told him I wanted to forget the FWBs. He would also text late. He apologized. Okay cool. So he texts me like two weeks ago that he wants to meet. I agree as he went out of state. During that time, he would message me almost every day. We had sex about two weeks ago. Didn’t show any disrespect and kept asking if I was okay during it (guessing he thought I was still a virgin bc I didn’t tell him I lost it) it was good & I slept over and left the next morning. We talked twice afterwards & he told me he was at a dinner on Sunday & sent me videos (guessing it was a date but I didn’t ask). Now he hasn’t talked to me all week and barely watches my stories. I checked up on him on Tuesday & he left me on read after he said he was good. Just confused bc he would hit me up almost everyday before. It seems more like a FB situation. Like I don’t know if he’s pulling away because he thinks he’s my first. I figured we would be meeting daily since we live six minutes from each other. Yeah basically he got what he wanted and cut. Also some men (not all), think its a challenge to sleep with a virgin, maybe he saw it that way.
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 21 hours ago, faithandfood said: Honestly don’t even know why I did because he was disrespectful to me during our second meet: did not want to use condom This is where you lost me. If this guy is your first, I’m really sorry about that. You need to set your standards higher.
Author faithandfood Posted July 13, 2020 Author Posted July 13, 2020 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: This is where you lost me. If this guy is your first, I’m really sorry about that. You need to set your standards higher. He was my second and it was protected. And I am trying. I only started talking to him again after he apologized for that behavior during the second meet.
Velvet teddy Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 26 minutes ago, faithandfood said: He was my second and it was protected. And I am trying. I only started talking to him again after he apologized for that behavior during the second To quote Maya Angelou. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time". 1
lurker74 Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 I wish our young women understood their own value. Both sex and relationships get better when you realize that you are worth being adored for your whole being. That's not a license to being a jerk, just a reminder. If he makes you feel less than, you should exit. 1
Velvet teddy Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 10 minutes ago, lurker74 said: I wish our young women understood their own value. Both sex and relationships get better when you realize that you are worth being adored for your whole being. That's not a license to being a jerk, just a reminder. If he makes you feel less than, you should exit. They want a man's company/relationship so badly, that unfortunately it will make them compromise their dignity.
mark clemson Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 Live and learn. Next time go for a guy who treats you right. You will be happier. 1
Fox Sake Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 This guy has disrespected you on quite a few occasions. You seriously need to revaluate the chances you keep giving him. The best thing you could do is block him and walk away. Learn from this situation about what you will, and will not put up with in a person and carry that knowledge forward with you
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