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Saturday night in front of the TV

mortensorchid

By mortensorchid
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mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
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I had connected with this guy on Hinge a week or two ago.  He seemed like a an alright guy, we were texting a lot and whatever else.  We agreed to meet, he said picked between these 2 places so I chose A.  Last night, I texted a reminder to him if we were still on for Saturday, he said yes.  During the day Saturday he texted me that he was going to his niece's birthday party during the day, I said that's fine it won't affect our meet up time will it?  He said no.  We'd agreed to meet at 6:30pm.  Just as I was on my way out, he texted me that he was helping to tear down from the party and he needed to put off a bit later.  I said the place closes at 8 (earlier hours due to the virus).  He said oh sorry this is taking longer than he thought this would.  

I for once decided not to take the high road and said "If I were going to meet someone that night for a date I would not have agreed to help tear this down."  He said it started at 4 he didn't know it would take so long.  This is up the same alley as "Oh sorry I fell asleep you still want to meet up?".  Then at 7 he texted "Ok I'm out of it now where do you want to meet?"  I said back to him via text "Sorry not interested anymore. I hope the next time you are more mindful of the other person and hope you find what you are looking for."

Now I am depressed and in front of the TV.  

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Realitysux Established Member

Realitysux

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, mortensorchid said:

I had connected with this guy on Hinge a week or two ago.  He seemed like a an alright guy, we were texting a lot and whatever else.  We agreed to meet, he said picked between these 2 places so I chose A.  Last night, I texted a reminder to him if we were still on for Saturday, he said yes.  During the day Saturday he texted me that he was going to his niece's birthday party during the day, I said that's fine it won't affect our meet up time will it?  He said no.  We'd agreed to meet at 6:30pm.  Just as I was on my way out, he texted me that he was helping to tear down from the party and he needed to put off a bit later.  I said the place closes at 8 (earlier hours due to the virus).  He said oh sorry this is taking longer than he thought this would.  

I for once decided not to take the high road and said "If I were going to meet someone that night for a date I would not have agreed to help tear this down."  He said it started at 4 he didn't know it would take so long.  This is up the same alley as "Oh sorry I fell asleep you still want to meet up?".  Then at 7 he texted "Ok I'm out of it now where do you want to meet?"  I said back to him via text "Sorry not interested anymore. I hope the next time you are more mindful of the other person and hope you find what you are looking for."

Now I am depressed and in front of the TV.  

Really. I'm waiting for my steak dinner and I can't wait to crawl on bed and watch TV. Mind you, I had a date yesterday and I'll probably try to set one up for next weekend too! 

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CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

Posted
Posted

I think you’re aggravated by dating in general right now. You’ve had some hard knocks. :(

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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted

You sure he has a niece..or was he dating someone niece this afternoon?

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted

Sorry this guy was a lame-o flake. Hey, at least you're trying to make a connection. Persistence usually pays... eventually. 

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alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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no comment

Realitysux Established Member

Realitysux

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Sorry this guy was a lame-o flake. Hey, at least you're trying to make a connection. Persistence usually pays... eventually. 

I knew this guy who went on dates for a year and a half before looking outside of the city and finding a connection. They both feel a mutual connection and they are both happy in an LDR. I am also seeking connections every day. I made some good friends too! 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted

Ugh. So crappy. 

 

I'm sorry :(

 

This is exactly why I never want to do OLD again...well one of the many reasons

 

I mean, who thinks it's ok to plan a date with someone whom you've never met and then tell that person you'll be late after saying you wouldn't be then asking if you still want to meet up after he couldn't have cared less about your time in the first place. Class act.

 

I once went out on a date with a guy who was 25 minutes late and he was somehow shocked when I told him after the date that I wasn't feeling it

 

I mean, there are exceptions of course but a general rule of thumb is, if a person can't be bothered to be on time for a first date, they're typically not worth dating 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

@Disillusionment373 I was only 23 minutes late! 

Liar! 🤣

Maldives Established Member

Maldives

Posted
Posted

That's the ego spoils everything 

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Blind-Sided Established Member

Blind-Sided

Posted
Posted

Mo.... Sorry your Saturday evening sucked.  I know you have had a run of bad dates... but today... I'm proud of you for holding to your guns.  You are 100% absolutely right. You had a date planed.  He was at a kid's party... and it's family.  Heck... after my divorce... if I would have said to my brother (being at his kid's party)... "I have a date, and have to be out of here are 5pm to get ready."   He would have said... "Great... get the hell out of here." 

So... either this guy has an issue with being on time... and that's one of my pet peeves... or he was on the fence about meeting at all. (Still not good) 

Don't be depressed!  Feel glad in the fact that you took control of your life.

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nospam99 Established Member

nospam99

Posted
Posted

I'm going against the crowd. OP, you're too demanding. Same goes for the several posters who believe that what this dude did was an offense deserving of not just a refusal to reschedule the same night after such a short delay, but to cut off the relationship entirely. If I had a date planned, and the woman BOTH gave me a ''head's up'' that she was delayed AND the delay was ONLY 30 minutes, I'd totally cut her the slack and just try to meet later the same day. And I certainly wouldn't summarily cut off the dating relationship. Just sayin'

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Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said:

...I'm proud of you for holding to your guns.  You are 100% absolutely right. You had a date planed.  He was at a kid's party... and it's family.  Heck... after my divorce... if I would have said to my brother (being at his kid's party)... "I have a date, and have to be out of here are 5pm to get ready."   He would have said... "Great... get the hell out of here." 

So... either this guy has an issue with being on time... and that's one of my pet peeves... or he was on the fence about meeting at all. (Still not good) 

Don't be depressed!  Feel glad in the fact that you took control of your life.

100% Agree...  If I have a date planned, I'm going to be on-time or early.  And yes,  I would have told the host of the party that I can make an appearance, but need to leave by a certain time (especially after confirming the date, earlier).

You need to show to the person you are going out with that they are important to you and yes, showing up on time, showered and properly dressed is the least you can do to get that message across.

If he can't be on time for the first date, then he really doesn't care.

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Velvet teddy Established Member

Velvet teddy

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

I had connected with this guy on Hinge a week or two ago.  He seemed like a an alright guy, we were texting a lot and whatever else.  We agreed to meet, he said picked between these 2 places so I chose A.  Last night, I texted a reminder to him if we were still on for Saturday, he said yes.  During the day Saturday he texted me that he was going to his niece's birthday party during the day, I said that's fine it won't affect our meet up time will it?  He said no.  We'd agreed to meet at 6:30pm.  Just as I was on my way out, he texted me that he was helping to tear down from the party and he needed to put off a bit later.  I said the place closes at 8 (earlier hours due to the virus).  He said oh sorry this is taking longer than he thought this would.  

I for once decided not to take the high road and said "If I were going to meet someone that night for a date I would not have agreed to help tear this down."  He said it started at 4 he didn't know it would take so long.  This is up the same alley as "Oh sorry I fell asleep you still want to meet up?".  Then at 7 he texted "Ok I'm out of it now where do you want to meet?"  I said back to him via text "Sorry not interested anymore. I hope the next time you are more mindful of the other person and hope you find what you are looking for."

Now I am depressed and in front of the TV.  

Probably best you did that.

It was a sign of things to come and it was a first date. He should have at least made the effort. 

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

I had connected with this guy on Hinge a week or two ago.  He seemed like a an alright guy, we were texting a lot and whatever else.  We agreed to meet, he said picked between these 2 places so I chose A.  Last night, I texted a reminder to him if we were still on for Saturday, he said yes.  During the day Saturday he texted me that he was going to his niece's birthday party during the day, I said that's fine it won't affect our meet up time will it?  He said no.  We'd agreed to meet at 6:30pm.  Just as I was on my way out, he texted me that he was helping to tear down from the party and he needed to put off a bit later.  I said the place closes at 8 (earlier hours due to the virus).  He said oh sorry this is taking longer than he thought this would.  

I for once decided not to take the high road and said "If I were going to meet someone that night for a date I would not have agreed to help tear this down."  He said it started at 4 he didn't know it would take so long.  This is up the same alley as "Oh sorry I fell asleep you still want to meet up?".  Then at 7 he texted "Ok I'm out of it now where do you want to meet?"  I said back to him via text "Sorry not interested anymore. I hope the next time you are more mindful of the other person and hope you find what you are looking for."

Now I am depressed and in front of the TV.  

I am glad you didn't take the high road.  Taking the high road always makes me lose part of my soul. It's better to get it all out and get done with it.

If he is like that from the beginning, what kind of relationship you gonna lead. He always putting you second, and third, or forget about you!

He didn't even pick up the vibe that you were upset and came to meet you right away! No, he texted you at 7 thinking everything is fine and you are eagerly waiting for his majesty!

The entitlement! 

Edited by Noproblem
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Mystery4u Established Member

Mystery4u

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, nospam99 said:

I'm going against the crowd. OP, you're too demanding. Same goes for the several posters who believe that what this dude did was an offense deserving of not just a refusal to reschedule the same night after such a short delay, but to cut off the relationship entirely. If I had a date planned, and the woman BOTH gave me a ''head's up'' that she was delayed AND the delay was ONLY 30 minutes, I'd totally cut her the slack and just try to meet later the same day. And I certainly wouldn't summarily cut off the dating relationship. Just sayin'

Completely agree for anything apart from a first date.

First impressions count for everything and if you can't even show your best side when meeting for the first time, then it just plants the seed of doubt on how the future will be. OP did the right thing.

Women like to feel special. Being 'busy' doing other stuff and delaying a first date for let's be honest no valid reason, makes them feel anything but special.

Edited by Mystery4u
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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Priorities right? First impressions count. This guy hasn't got his crap together...next!

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CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Mystery4u said:

Completely agree for anything apart from a first date.

First impressions count for everything and if you can't even show your best side when meeting for the first time, then it just plants the seed of doubt on how the future will be. OP did the right thing.

Women like to feel special. Being 'busy' doing other stuff and delaying a first date for let's be honest no valid reason, makes them feel anything but special.

100% this. ^

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
37 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

100% this. ^

Yup, I cut and pasted on GND's thread, as I thought it quite apropos for her situation as well. 

Edited by poppyfields
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mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
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Posted

I can't win.  I can't win with OLDs and I can't win with any of you either.  Someone said I am too demanding of things?  Well damn it, wouldn't any of you want to feel excited or at the very least happy to be doing something with someone?  Instead they treat you like garbage and you don't even know them.  I just want to verify that we had plans and it was fine when I texted him on Friday before, because I am a serious person and I take things very seriously.  I am never a minute late and always have everything on a schedule because that's how I operate.  Others?  I guess not.  Including some of you who tell me that I am too demanding of others.  I would expect some courtesy to another, that's basic.  

 

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted (edited)

Mortens, you've had an overwhelming number of posters agree with you on this.  Given the amount of disagreements we see around here, I reckon that's a pretty good hit rate.   It's unfair to suggest that you can't with with any of us.

Edited by basil67
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Backinthesaddleagain Established Member

Backinthesaddleagain

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, mortensorchid said:

I can't win.  I can't win with OLDs and I can't win with any of you either.  Someone said I am too demanding of things?  Well damn it, wouldn't any of you want to feel excited or at the very least happy to be doing something with someone?  Instead they treat you like garbage and you don't even know them.  I just want to verify that we had plans and it was fine when I texted him on Friday before, because I am a serious person and I take things very seriously.  I am never a minute late and always have everything on a schedule because that's how I operate.  Others?  I guess not.  Including some of you who tell me that I am too demanding of others.  I would expect some courtesy to another, that's basic.  

 

You're fine, relax girl. I think no spam was playing devils advocate, the rest of us agree the first date is super important and think you did the right thing (you still may be too picky though :) ). This guy was a douche. Sorry it didnt work out. NEXT

Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

Posted
Posted

This sounds pretty in line with my OLD experiences. I learned not to get excited about anyone before meeting them a couple of times. So many flakes and false starts. 
 

Next!

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dangerous Established Member

dangerous

Posted
Posted (edited)

OP you, and we, will never know whether this guy was a douche, or just disorganised and got wrapped up with over-committing himself. I think it is reasonable and sensible to confirm arrangements beforehand, as you did, and i would do this too, as I am also reliable and prefer to pre-empt situations.

The call as to whether to blow him off, or give him the benefit of the doubt/ a second chance is of course a personal choice, some of us would, and some of us wouldn't. I'd just add it to experience and move on whether you try dating again soon or take some time out, whichever YOU feel is best for you. Just please don't let it bug you, look after your self above all else.

Edited by dangerous
typos
Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

 Someone said I am too demanding of things? 

You are NOT too demanding...

The guy could not complete even the basic requirements for a first date... select an appropriate venue/activity, be clean and properly dressed for said venue and be ON TIME/EARLY!! And (in my opinion) have the ability to pay for the date, but we won't go down that "rabbit hole", today.

If he can't complete the most basic of date requirements, he has no business dating (at all)!

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