Haleyxmouse Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 So I Just quit a job I had for over a year almost 2 months ago. With that being said, I met a guy I apparently went to high school with but never knew him there despite him being fairly popular. He only worked on weekend mornings so that’s when I would see him, but he ended up being really sweet and goal oriented. So, he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years a few months ago and he was completely heartbroken. Word going around was she cheated on him. With that being said I quit, we added each other on all social media and started talking every day. He would always ask to hang out alone and I somehow would always unknowingly make it a group hang out because I was completely oblivious at the fact that he was in fact flirting with me. We started hanging out every weekend. Eventually it ended up leading to a make out session once we did get alone. After that we never spoke much about it. We just continued being friends and agreed it was a one time thing. He wasn’t looking for anything because he had just gotten out of that relationship and I just wanted to focus on school for the summer without distractions as I dropped out previously over a guy (stupid decision! I know.). About 2 weeks later, I started to notice he was being distant. Out of nowhere, his ex requested me on Instagram, unrequested me, re-requested me and re-unrequested. I always had the feeling he would go back but I always told him I would support him as a friend no matter what. I had never met his ex. I barely knew her name and we only had 2 mutual followers. About 2 weeks ago, we both went camping separately (I went with my family and I think he went with his friends including her as they were still in the same friend group). I didn’t think much of it until I came back and found out he unadded me on Snapchat but had me on everything else for some reason. I just assumed he got back with his ex, told her about our little make out and she didn’t want him to talk to me anymore, but since then 2 other people from their friend group have requested to follow me on Instagram. Like I don’t know what to even think about it. I really wanted to not give it much thought as I thought it was a one time thing and everything was over between us in general but their friends keep appearing . Thoughts??
Ami1uwant Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 Instagram...unsure how many common friends you have with these others.
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 My advice would be not to allow those requests of his "friends". They very well could be spying for her. With the timing of it all, I'd absolutely say that was going on. Keep yourself out of the drama as it might hurt you as well as it sounds as if you have some feelings for him. Rise above. You never know where the future will take you and i think if you keep yourself away from this group, and let's assume her friends have less than admirable motives, you keep drama away from your life and can just evaluate him & you based on him & you. Leaves things cleaner for when they probably will break up again, he will spend time getting over her & then may be ready to date you for real or at least be a real and true friend without entanglements-- sorry, I had to
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 the minute his "EX" tried to add you -- the new girl -- as a friend you should have pegged her as a pot stirrer drama queen who would cause problems for you. He's not free enough to date you. Decline any & all friend requests from these people. 2
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 Just now, d0nnivain said: the minute his "EX" tried to add you -- the new girl -- as a friend you should have pegged her as a pot stirrer drama queen who would cause problems for you. He's not free enough to date you. Decline any & all friend requests from these people. Right. That's why the ex's requests went back forth, back forth. Then she probably enlisted one of her friends to do it so she could spy on OP. Literally, don't allow it. One of my good friends has been stalked and tortured by some crazy ex of her ex boyfriend. My friend is not even together with this guy anymore. BTW, what we discovered during this situation is that sometimes the mutual friends were not even real people just additional accounts that the ex was making so she could follow my friend with a different persona than her real one. 1
smackie9 Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 People are weird. Unfriend him on everything and back off. Too much drama to be a part of. If he says anything, let that be the opener to discuss what happened. Clear the air.
Author Haleyxmouse Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 3 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: Instagram...unsure how many common friends you have with these others. I have like 1 or 2 friends with them since apparently we went to high school together but the friends are a year younger.
Author Haleyxmouse Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 3 hours ago, Versacehottie said: My advice would be not to allow those requests of his "friends". They very well could be spying for her. With the timing of it all, I'd absolutely say that was going on. Keep yourself out of the drama as it might hurt you as well as it sounds as if you have some feelings for him. Rise above. You never know where the future will take you and i think if you keep yourself away from this group, and let's assume her friends have less than admirable motives, you keep drama away from your life and can just evaluate him & you based on him & you. Leaves things cleaner for when they probably will break up again, he will spend time getting over her & then may be ready to date you for real or at least be a real and true friend without entanglements-- sorry, I had to See that’s what I thought and then I remembered that one of their friends already follows me so I thought it was weird. Like I don’t want anything with him. It was just a one time make out and I wanted to continue being friends because he genuinely is an amazingly sweet guy but like at this point I’m curious what he told her if she’s out here searching for me and having their friends add me. Like she cheated on him so, wouldn’t that just be stemmed from like insecurities of what she did? 1
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 You do realize that where you went to HS factors into the algorithm, causing the system to suggest friends to you too
Versacehottie Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 1 hour ago, Haleyxmouse said: See that’s what I thought and then I remembered that one of their friends already follows me so I thought it was weird. Like I don’t want anything with him. It was just a one time make out and I wanted to continue being friends because he genuinely is an amazingly sweet guy but like at this point I’m curious what he told her if she’s out here searching for me and having their friends add me. Like she cheated on him so, wouldn’t that just be stemmed from like insecurities of what she did? oh for sure you could be "suggested" but let's be REAL the timing of all this is highly suspicious. I forgot because my friend's story was so much worse than mine which was a minor annoyance but still shows you how disturbed or jealous people can be, but I also had something similar happen to me. My girlfriend and I met this guy and became friends with him and did things with him now and then. Neither of us liked him or ever dated him. I suspect he may have had a crush on one or both of us. Cut to, 1-1.5 year later, he has a new girlfriend. She is pretty but come to find out extremely psycho. We never met her in person and once they started dating have never hung out with him at all, which is fine, we aren't close or anything. For both my friend and I, she was sending us IG messages either under her account or his (but it started to become obvious it was her). Then because we were ignoring or not saying much--just friendly hi when it was from his account, she used his phone to text me, pretending to be him AND pretending that my name wasn't stored in the phone and "he" thought I was one of his guy friends (confusing but bear with me). When I corrected "him" and actually teased him cause I knew something funky was going on, and said no it's me/my name. Then "he" started pretending as if he didn't remember me and wanted to see if "he" knew me from previously dating. hahhahahh, I literally was rolling on the floor laughing. It was a fishing expedition, pure and simple. I told her off and that I knew what she was doing, she didn't even speak like he does and then blocked. What I do know is that he is the type who would maybe try to make her jealous about my friend and me though literally neither of us even ever gave him that type of attention at all. All I can say from this experience and from ones that my friends have had very similar is that jealous people can do all sorts of crazy things. The one I said happen to my girlfriend, the ex psycho person, made something like well over 40 accounts to try to follow her. When she finally couldn't get through to see stories because my friend cleared out anyone she didn't know personally and then set to private, she started following and harassing via DM her close friends, which means she'd already clocked who her close friends were. Scary. Oh and btw, this was all to keep track of what the guy potentially would be doing and to see IF he popped up on her stories since he was dating neither at that time. Scary. I literally know several other stories like this. Here's my favorite thing that cops/detectives say all the time: they don't believe in coincidences. There almost always is a link. In your case, I'll bet that means a little rekindling or hope of doing so has this guy's ex fired up about what he was doing when he wasn't with her. If he spoke of you fondly, even in friendly terms, she might be jealous. If he used your presence in his life to make her jealous, obviously she will be obsessed. Add to the fact that she is a girl who cheated on him--the stack of personality traits that go with that are right in line with this type of behavior of trying to spy on you or have a friend do it for her. A lot of the time, girls who cheat are attention seekers and use comparison a lot so that would drive her to try to figure out what you look like and are about. Secondly, if she doesn't have fully commit back from him she may be hypersensitive to trying to figure out that he is going to chose her or not doing anything she wouldn't like--possessive. Lastly, sometimes even if they were fully back together, she just might be consumed with jealousy, like he's her guy, even though she can stray. These are old stories--lol, they happen all the time. Just pretend you missed the follow request if you bump into those people. It's not the end of the world and I doubt you want to be in their circle anyway. Goodluck
kendahke Posted July 13, 2020 Posted July 13, 2020 Don't add anyone on IG who isn't in already in your own friend group. People are requesting from me all the time and I deny everyone unless I know them in person. 1
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