michelana Posted July 10, 2020 Posted July 10, 2020 Hey guys! I've got a problem with me and my self esteem. I always want to be the best and especially the most beautiful one. It is not that I'm not good-looking or successful because many people say that and I have achieved a lot for my age, but still I don't value myself and sometimes I might compare myself with other girls. For example if someone says I will bring my friend for dinner it's totally fine until I learn that she is a model. Then I start thinking how she might look, or is she more attractive than me. I say to myself that even if she might be prettier, probably I have other characteristic she doesn't have. But still it doesn't make me feel good. I would rather avoid meeting her than know that she might be better than me. I hate the fact that I don't value myself if someone is more attractive or better than me in some ways.
Empathscorpio Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 How was your childhood? Parents tough on you ?
Author michelana Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 13 hours ago, Empathscorpio said: How was your childhood? Parents tough on you ? Parents didn't affect at all. Other people did. All started when I was 16 years old and I had an injury and as a result I lost weight. Everyone used to tell me that I should eat because I was so slim because I din't eat or they used to say "are you on a diet? You should gain some weight" etc. And that made me feel bad because it didn't depend on me or on how much I ate. It was all because of that and I couldn't do anything. Then I didn't like my body and as a result of weight loss I lost my breasts, my butt etc. I started to compare myself to models on instagram or sexy girls.
stillafool Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 Have you considered independent counseling? I think it would help you. There are always going to be women prettier than you, me and everyone. It happens to the most beautiful women. I would also suggest you stay off of Instagram since it triggers your insecurity. 1
Author michelana Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: Have you considered independent counseling? I think it would help you. There are always going to be women prettier than you, me and everyone. It happens to the most beautiful women. I would also suggest you stay off of Instagram since it triggers your insecurity. Actually there were people who didn't even know that I was suffering from low self esteem, that used to tell me that I was pretty, or makeup artists who wanted to do my makeup because they said I had beautiful face features, or even people who asked me if I had ever done photomodelling etc. I didn't show that I had low self esteem. Even my parents couldn't believe that when I talked to them. But even though that I used to hear from others, probably even not said direct to me that I was attractive, it still didn't help. I didn't like myself
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 Then you need to take steps to like yourself more. Your obsession with looks & how you fit into the world based on how you look is unhealthy. There will always be somebody younger, thinner or more beautiful. 1
stillafool Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 If you find validation from your looks you will never be happy. Every day you are growing older and moving further away from the face you owned yesterday. Looks don't last. Build on your kindness, intelligence, honesty and compassion. Things you will never outgrow.
regine_phalange Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 Is there something you can do to soothe this feeling in a healthy way? My biggest insecurity was always my hair, it's just really bad quality, very dry, it breaks with the minimum amount of heat, and looks messy no matter how much money I spend, or what I do. Even hairdressers often don't know what to do with it, and this is really hurtful and so difficult to accept. So, one day I went ahead and cut it all off. Got a pixie cut... Honestly, it felt like I got rid of years and years of insecurity and pain. I sound dramatic, I know! But it was very therapeutic for me.
LuckyM Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 Many men feel the same way but won't admit it. If your hair bothers you that much try a nice wig. A lot of guys don't care so much about looks or model playboy girls believe me because they are not hunks. If you are kissable that's enough____for me
Ruby Slippers Posted July 21, 2020 Posted July 21, 2020 I've heard that models are some of the most insecure people. Try listening to some YouTube videos about self-esteem and ego. Anytime you feel inferior or superior to anyone, that's your ego talking. We all have value no matter what we look like. These problems tend to improve with age and wisdom. When I look at people anymore, I barely see the surface stuff. I see through to the soul and spirit stuff - good, nice person with a good heart, peacock on the outside with a lot of issues inside, and so on.
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