Why would a man brag about sleeping with other women on a date?

[Fresh_Start]

At 5'6" he's well below average height for a man and you're seeing his little man's inferiority complex on display.  You should have told him, "Must have been tough needing a step stool just to get in and out of bed with all of them."

Edited July 10, 2020 by Fresh_Start

[rjc149]

2 hours ago, Confoosedgal said:

Okay so I'm gonna just call him Allen to avoid any confusion. Because he told me he did! LOL! That is how freaken cocky and arrogant this guy was!

He said, he didn't know "WHY these women would become so emotionally attached after sex" but he would talk to them about it and if he felt they were too attached or needy, he would ghost them and in some cases block them. He said, "I guess I just leave a trail of broken hearts and women."

I think he kind of meant it as a joke. I'm very raunchy in my jokes and pretty light-hearted most of the time but it was a little hard to fake laugh at this. 

And, then he said at his old job, he was sleeping with 3 of his co-workers thinking they wouldn't find out. They did and they fought it out and all of them were fired because of it. And, then he said, "It's not my fault if the women are emotional to begin with."

So, I was actually going to wait to dump him but as I'm writing this... i'm getting pretty grossed out lol. I think I'm just gonna do it now. 

Seems like line between what's serious and what's being said for comic/shock value is pretty blurred, on both sides. 

[Velvet teddy]

7 hours ago, Confoosedgal said:

Obviously, I ended things... or going to end things. I haven't really texted or called him because I'm just weirded out by it. I've had plenty of experience dating and have been in a few long-term relationships and I have NEVER had this happen before. 

The guy is cute but he's not the best looking guy I've dated. He's 5'6, kind of small, with a little bit of a chubby body but overall he does have a cute face. Personally, I try not to date super hot guys because I find them to sometimes be a little bit cocky and arrogant. So, I was totally surprised by this guy's arrogance. We've technically been on 3 dates, he's invited me out for a 4th this Saturday but not sure I'm going. On our date last Friday, it seemed like he took every opportunity to talk about the women he's dated/slept with. He made EVERYTHING about this. I've never met anyone, EVEN GUY FRIENDS, who had talked about it as much as he did. 

In my opinion, it actually made me think that he was insecure about himself and this is the way he seeks validation? Because I've dated hella good looking guys who have never even MENTIONED exes. My question is, why would someone feel the need to constantly bring this up? Because I tried, several times, to steer the conversation away to other things and he always managed to insert stories about himself and other women in almost every topic. By the way, this guy told me he was interested in something a little more serious and was tired of dating "younger girls." I'm a little older than him and waaaaaay more mature. So, I was stunned by his boldness in talking about emotionally damaging these women. It was kind of disgusting and disrespectful to myself and the girls he spoke about.

I could be wrong but, I feel like maybe I accidentally set him off. I actually write little funny, raunchy pieces about online dating. A week before our date, I wrote this funny piece about a BAD DATE incident that occurred about a month ago and posted it about a week before our date for my friends to read. It was sexual but it was more so to be funny. So, I thought maaaaaaybe this story set him off to try to prove something. 

I'm dropping him regardless. I'm just more interested in opinions as to WHY he would feel the need to do this? 

He doesn't sound  too great of a catch.

Bragging about emotionally  damaging women?

Next him! 

[Realitysux]

A few years ago, this man rejected me. He said a lot of things he viewed as the truth and it hurt me a lot. He came back and by this time, I really just wanted to get rid of him so I could move on and heal. I didn't like who I was around him and I didn't like the attention. His attention was cruel and made me question my own voice. I used messages and even sent him another man's dick picture to get rid of him. I wouldn't do that to a man I wanted to stay that's for sure. 

[Art_Critic]

7 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Talking about other women was intended to make you feel inadequate and him superior. total jerk.

My guess is that this is his form of "negging".. I mean what else could it be.. he was trying to inspire lust for him by negging her and making her feel inadequate.

 

[Maldives]

Yep insecurity related probably to his height or penis size lol

[ExpatInItaly]

Whatever the reason behind it, I would not see this guy again. And if he asked why, I'd be honest. 

Chances are that he's greatly exaggerating his experiences and prowess as means of over-compensating for his lack thereof.  The fact that he's even bringing this up on dates strongly suggests he doesn't actually know much about women at all, or he would have developed a filter by now. 

Next. 

[Giovane]

3 hours ago, Realitysux said:

I used messages and even sent him another man's dick picture to get rid of him.

[mr_marvel]

The fact that he talked way too much and felt the need to brag about his "kill counts" (assumming it was actually true) only indicate one thing, and one thing only:

This guy is weak and insecured.

Real men who really understand women don't need to prove themselves, at least not verbally like this guy did.

I'd next him if I were you.

[Realitysux]

2 hours ago, Giovane said:

To be honest, it normally works and then I have a laugh by myself and with someone like you. This time it didn't work and he end up being extremely hurtful. I guess I asked for it

[smackie9]

So you have to make a post to do a laugh emoji? lame

[poppyfields]

12 hours ago, Realitysux said:

I used messages and even sent him another man's dick picture to get rid of him. I wouldn't do that to a man I wanted to stay that's for sure. 

This^ is what I meant earlier about him possibly wanting to get rid of her, or eliciting a pissed-off reaction.  

Which actually worked!  It was obnoxious as hell and HE knew it.

I think he was messin with you OP, wanted you gone too, sorry.

Is it f'cked up?  Hell yeah, but it happens. I've had guys in my support group admit it. They say or behave in outrageous ways hoping the girl will leave.  In their twisted brains, less guilt.  

I suppose women do it too, realitysux did!  For different reasons, point is, it happens. 

I wouldn't rule it out.

@smackie9 yeah the haha/laugh emoji has been discontinued, there is a thread about it in the general questions forum.  

Edited July 10, 2020 by poppyfields

[Realitysux]

25 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

This^ is what I meant earlier about him possibly wanting to get rid of her, or eliciting a pissed-off reaction.  

Which actually worked!  It was obnoxious as hell and HE knew it.

I think he was messin with you OP, wanted you gone too, sorry.

Is it f'cked up?  Hell yeah, but it happens. I've had guys in my support group admit it. They say or behave in outrageous ways hoping the girl will leave.  In their twisted brains, less guilt.  

I suppose women do it too, realitysux did!  

I wouldn't rule it out.

@smackie9 yeah the haha/laugh emoji has been discontinued, there is a thread about it in the general questions forum.  

I don't enjoy being obnoxious but this guy fed an obsession for 7 years and I was an idiot. I was reading it and actually believing what this guy had to say. It was constant rejection and I thought by going to an extreme behavior like that, he would leave and I would be able to move on to something more realistic. I regret it now but there wasn't open communication for me to ask him if it was done yet. People were playing a long in the same city as me and I was constantly being affected by it. 

I realize he also wanted me to go so I should have just left and accepted it. I thought if they left me then I'd feel better about moving on from this but I should have accepted my defeat and cut my losses. 

Edited July 10, 2020 by Realitysux

[Realitysux]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

This^ is what I meant earlier about him possibly wanting to get rid of her, or eliciting a pissed-off reaction.  

Which actually worked!  It was obnoxious as hell and HE knew it.

I think he was messin with you OP, wanted you gone too, sorry.

Is it f'cked up?  Hell yeah, but it happens. I've had guys in my support group admit it. They say or behave in outrageous ways hoping the girl will leave.  In their twisted brains, less guilt.  

I suppose women do it too, realitysux did!  For different reasons, point is, it happens. 

I wouldn't rule it out.

@smackie9 yeah the haha/laugh emoji has been discontinued, there is a thread about it in the general questions forum.  

I wasn't in a good place the entire time and I knew he would find better. I'm being honest but I didn't really want to say it after I was suppose to move on. I knew I would need to move on and focus on my life but I couldn't do that with him around. It was a constant reminder of what he could have verse what I was. As time went by, the age was a factor for me too. I was very determined to get some time and space and move on. I'm doing better because I just have to remind myself what I was doing. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

4 hours ago, poppyfields said:

This^ is what I meant earlier about him possibly wanting to get rid of her, or eliciting a pissed-off reaction.  

Which actually worked!  It was obnoxious as hell and HE knew it.

I think he was messin with you OP, wanted you gone too, sorry.

Is it f'cked up?  Hell yeah, but it happens. I've had guys in my support group admit it. They say or behave in outrageous ways hoping the girl will leave.  In their twisted brains, less guilt.  

I suppose women do it too, realitysux did!  For different reasons, point is, it happens. 

I wouldn't rule it out.

@smackie9 yeah the haha/laugh emoji has been discontinued, there is a thread about it in the general questions forum.  

I hadn't seen the part about the OP writing a satire (that acutally sounds mean...sorry, OP, but to me it definitely does) that this guy saw. But...

I mean they laughed about it at first. So then what happened? He didn't start out being jerky, according to the OP.

Also, why then would he even have gone out with her? 

The only thing I can think, if it was indeed backlash and messing with her, is that he wanted to be able to humiliate her for saying stuff about some other guy, because he took it personally. I mean she wasn't talking about this guy, obviously. I mean I gues that could have been it?

I do think of the OP wants dates she needs to not write "satire" that humiliates guys, especially what they've done on dates. And OP...you describe him putting his hands down your pants...that's assault. Kidding about it seems odd to me, if you were assaulted. I'd expect women to be pretty surprised and put off by that too.

The problem with satire is that when it's done well, yes, it's awesome, but very very few people actually do it well even if they think they're great at it, and it just comes off as mean and cruel. Same with sarcasm...hard for quite a few people to pull of. There's a really fine line between noting the weird stuff in life and making it come together in a clever way, and just attacking.

JMO.

[CaliforniaGirl]

49 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

I wasn't in a good place the entire time and I knew he would find better. I'm being honest but I didn't really want to say it after I was suppose to move on. I knew I would need to move on and focus on my life but I couldn't do that with him around. It was a constant reminder of what he could have verse what I was. As time went by, the age was a factor for me too. I was very determined to get some time and space and move on. I'm doing better because I just have to remind myself what I was doing. 

I feel for you, Reality, so I'm not trying to be cruel, saying this...but that's why "negging" and "social proof" tend to only work with people who have issues, big ones, usually. A person with self-esteem won't think, "That A-hole who treats me like scum could get someone better." She'll think, "That A-hole who treats me like scum is, perhaps not coincidentally, scum." And then...'bye.

[CaliforniaGirl]

4 hours ago, smackie9 said:

So you have to make a post to do a laugh emoji? lame

Yes. Urghhhhh.

I mean...

With a side order of

[Realitysux]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I feel for you, Reality, so I'm not trying to be cruel, saying this...but that's why "negging" and "social proof" tend to only work with people who have issues, big ones, usually. A person with self-esteem won't think, "That A-hole who treats me like scum could get someone better." She'll think, "That A-hole who treats me like scum is, perhaps not coincidentally, scum." And then...'bye.

Oh no believe me, I say better cause there are better women then me by behavior and s***. I'm awful and I'm selfish and a big baby at times. I go for guys most women wouldn't but they are what I like. 

[lurker74]

On 7/9/2020 at 2:27 PM, Confoosedgal said:

I'm just more interested in opinions as to WHY he would feel the need to do this? 

One mention of another woman is fine. Two if you ask about his past. But even mentioning sleeping with other women is douchey. When I talk about exes with people I date, I pretend like it was a sexless relationship!

On 7/9/2020 at 2:30 PM, CaliforniaGirl said:

First of all, eeew. My panties dried up just reading this.

I'm with you. I'd be gone...but I mean...I don't think I've ever encountered this. It's about the most insecure thing I've heard in my life.

He was doing the arrogance thing and trying to prove how wanted he was because he's heard that's what girls like...

Only certain guys can pull that off. A small percentage of guys. The over-arrogance thing, I mean. NOT the part about sleeping with a lot of women. Are you serious? Oh my God...that poor guy. I actually do feel for him. But...maybe he'll meet someone who can calm down his insecurities. Meanwhile, you can move on too (and you have).

Um..Hey @CaliforniaGirl, why are your panties wet (damp?) before reading this?  

23 hours ago, smackie9 said:

 This guy is a misogynists. Talking about other women was intended to make you feel inadequate and him superior. total jerk.

I don't think he's a misogynist, per se, @smackie9. I just think that he is so self centered he must think other people want to know. I would bet my bottom dollar he says the same crap with his guy friend. Notice singular use of "friend."

21 hours ago, Hopeful30 said:

Classic overcompensation. 

Agreed. I wonder it it's a short-man complex. I hate to pain with a broad brush but I've encountered so many Napoleon complexes out there that it seems reasonably common. 

[smackie9]

No he can't be that thick headed. If he was trying to impress he would have talked about all the great things he did or is going to do, how much money he makes, etc. But talking about how many women he's had sex with in detail... this would turn off every woman out there and he knows this. No he's just rubbing it in her face. I still think he doesn't like women/ mad at them, and is insecure. He is doing this because he knows he's going to get rejected anyways. You know, those guys that claim to be a "nice guy" but they are not. I most certainly have met, work with, known about this type before. Kinda like someone on this forum.

[CaliforniaGirl]

47 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

No he can't be that thick headed. If he was trying to impress he would have talked about all the great things he did or is going to do, how much money he makes, etc. But talking about how many women he's had sex with in detail... this would turn off every woman out there and he knows this. No he's just rubbing it in her face. I still think he doesn't like women/ mad at them, and is insecure. He is doing this because he knows he's going to get rejected anyways. You know, those guys that claim to be a "nice guy" but they are not. I most certainly have met, work with, known about this type before. Kinda like someone on this forum.

If true, this is sad. And it doesn't need to be this way...the OP was initially attracted to him, obviously. So it's not like he'll be rejected just unilaterally.

I have met the "nice guys" you talk about. People who are nice don't say so. They just ARE nice. It's like when someone says "I"m always honest." If you are then why does it come to mind? It would just be a part of "you..." (Not the OP, the general "you.")

[introverted1]

On 7/9/2020 at 2:27 PM, Confoosedgal said:

I feel like maybe I accidentally set him off. I actually write little funny, raunchy pieces about online dating. A week before our date, I wrote this funny piece about a BAD DATE incident that occurred about a month ago and posted it about a week before our date for my friends to read. It was sexual but it was more so to be funny. So, I thought maaaaaaybe this story set him off to try to prove something. 

 

 

On 7/9/2020 at 2:30 PM, Confoosedgal said:

And, to add to this real quick. When I mean my short piece was sexual, I didn't have sex with anyone, i just made funny sexual jokes. I'd post them here because I find it hysterical but I don't want to be flagged lol. 

Without knowing what you wrote, it seems he may have either thought you were denigrating him with the piece you shared or that you wanted the type of exchange he offered.  But if your "funny sexual jokes" had to do with how badly men perform in bed, or penis size, or anything similar, then he might have been trying, albeit clumsily, to regain his footing.

Frankly, I am not sure why you keep seeing this guy.  You had a thread complaining about him after your first date, where you went out of your way to make sure we knew that he was not in your "league."  And here you are again, letting us know that you've dated "hella good looking guys."  So what is it about this "small, with a little bit of a chubby body" guy that you keep going out with even though you don't seem to have enjoyed any of your dates with him? 

[SumGuy]

Many reasons why a guy would do this, none of them good, all of them showing he is a d**che bag, that is pretty much the accurate term...even if he thought is was a "joke," its so clueless it makes him the joke.