Scheduled a date then immediately wanted to reschedule?

[mr_marvel]

6 hours ago, rjc149 said:

OP, I've spent much of my mid 20's - early 30's doing the "alpha dog" persona, reading up on PUA literature etc. because in college I was cruelly dumped by my first real girlfriend for a loud dickhead frat boy who had already banged all of her friends.

So I adopted that persona. It worked in attracting women, but not keeping them. Eventually, after years of this, when it came time to be the best I could be for a woman I really cared about, I got my heart broken. I was so scared of being needy and 'beta' that I willfully neglected her emotionally, you know, because I had to "maintain frame" and "not be a little pussy" etc. It was a fear-based mindset. You attract what you fear. I was so afraid of being beta, that she ended up leaving me for a beta. 

I think you're asking her for exclusivity because you fear losing this woman. What will end up happening is it will self-fulfill. It's better to simply understand that it's okay if she doesn't want to be exclusive, or loses interest, or leaves you. Even the most intimate relationships run their course. Just be the man who will graciously accept women into his life, and graciously let them go. 

 

 

Couldn't have said this any better. Reading this comment is like reading my own life story. Thanks Rjc149.

[basil67]

12 hours ago, lurker74 said:

Is this accurate in most peoples' minds? I can tell you that if I am dating someone for 6 weeks, I've definitely slept with her. And I can also say if I am sleeping with someone, I am no longer pursuing others and expect the same.

Does that make me needy? Genuine question.

Not needy at all lurker.  Give me a man who tells me straight up what he wants and doesn't waste my time dating others.  And I'll give him the same in return.    I want a man who's confident enough in his own self that he follows his instinct rather than rules.  

 

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

18 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Not needy at all lurker.  Give me a man who tells me straight up what he wants and doesn't waste my time dating others.  And I'll give him the same in return.    I want a man who's confident enough in his own self that he follows his instinct rather than rules.  

 

 

Right on. And...I know I've decided earlier than 6 weeks to be exclusive, because if I was sleeping with someone I definitely wanted that. It didn't mean we were deciding to.spend forever together, it meant: I will not be with someone who had had sex with someone earlier and the showered and came to my place. No...

The OP can't get exclusivity out of this woman...and even when she said she isn't sleeping with someone else...well, that's present tense, right? No promise for the near future?

I would be explaining at this point that without exclusivity I wasn't comfortable moving forward, and I'd be quietly gone. But that's just me.

[basil67]

@JC90 When the two of you started out, did you ever have a discussion about what each of you are looking for?  

[JC90]

14 hours ago, basil67 said:

@JC90 When the two of you started out, did you ever have a discussion about what each of you are looking for?  

No. Like most of my dating life, I figured we'd just be hookup buddies and it would be light and casual then eventually fizzle out or whatever, but not be serious. She was also just out of a LTR, so if I was a betting man, I'd bet that's what she was thinking as well. But then it turns out we have a ton of chemistry and keep seeing each other and multiple times a week at that. Plus we only live about 15 minutes from each other, so spontaneous hangouts are easy to do. I usually wouldn't even want to see someone more than once a week, but us having chemistry has changed that in this situation.

[Versacehottie]

so what happened last night? 

[JC90]

3 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

so what happened last night? 

Last night was fine and she was all over me like usual. Not acting weird or anything. Said she had been busy as hell with work. Also told me more about her friend Megan when I asked. I'm not a mind reader so I can't say what's true and what's not. Her story didn't seem sketchy but I didn't want to delve in too deep and seem like a jealous boyfriend interrogating her.

She texted me today with a new number saying she had to change it. I asked her why and she said a dude wouldn't leave her alone. I jokingly said "oh man.. bad tinder date?" And she responded "tinder date from hell." Ha. This essentially confirmed what I thought from the very beginning--she's talking to and seeing other guys. That's why she SPECIFICALLY said she wasn't sleeping with anyone, because she is talking to/seeing people but (probably) hadn't had sex with anyone else yet. I told her it sounded like a good story for a glass or three of wine, so when I go over tomorrow (barring a flake) I'm going to ask her to tell me the story, then light-heartedly veer the conversation towards her other tinder dates and how many she's been on since being single. Like "damn that's a crazy story! When was that? Any others that bad? No? Well that's good. So you've been on quite a few since you've been single?" Honestly I feel like this situation is training me to extract information from people via conversation in indirect ways. Maybe I'll change my career and become a detective.

It actually kinda... Put my mind slightly more at ease. Now I just have that disappointed feeling. Instead of constantly wondering and being anxious about it, I know that her mindset is "single and ready to mingle". And I also won't feel guilty anymore for remaking my tinder profile and actively pursuing other women.

But I guess we'll see what she tells me tomorrow.

[Velvet teddy]

23 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Ugh no...you're sure you're just backup...but you're down for it anyway...OMG, man. That's not a turnoff???

Unless she was meeting her friends or family..

[CaliforniaGirl]

20 minutes ago, Velvet teddy said:

Unless she was meeting her friends or family..

Still...she puts him second again and again. Friends, family, dates, whomever.

She is just not as invested in him as he is in her.

For me that would be a turnoff. 

[Velvet teddy]

1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Still...she puts him second again and again. Friends, family, dates, whomever.

She is just not as invested in him as he is in her.

For me that would be a turnoff. 

Yeh shes definitely less invested. 

He on the other hand has got it bad lol. 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Velvet teddy

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, JC90 said:

Last night was fine and she was all over me like usual. Not acting weird or anything. Said she had been busy as hell with work. Also told me more about her friend Megan when I asked. I'm not a mind reader so I can't say what's true and what's not. Her story didn't seem sketchy but I didn't want to delve in too deep and seem like a jealous boyfriend interrogating her.

She texted me today with a new number saying she had to change it. I asked her why and she said a dude wouldn't leave her alone. I jokingly said "oh man.. bad tinder date?" And she responded "tinder date from hell." Ha. This essentially confirmed what I thought from the very beginning--she's talking to and seeing other guys. That's why she SPECIFICALLY said she wasn't sleeping with anyone, because she is talking to/seeing people but (probably) hadn't had sex with anyone else yet. I told her it sounded like a good story for a glass or three of wine, so when I go over tomorrow (barring a flake) I'm going to ask her to tell me the story, then light-heartedly veer the conversation towards her other tinder dates and how many she's been on since being single. Like "damn that's a crazy story! When was that? Any others that bad? No? Well that's good. So you've been on quite a few since you've been single?" Honestly I feel like this situation is training me to extract information from people via conversation in indirect ways. Maybe I'll change my career and become a detective.

It actually kinda... Put my mind slightly more at ease. Now I just have that disappointed feeling. Instead of constantly wondering and being anxious about it, I know that her mindset is "single and ready to mingle". And I also won't feel guilty anymore for remaking my tinder profile and actively pursuing other women.

But I guess we'll see what she tells me tomorrow.

She is going to see right through your "casual" questions. Do you really want to humiliate yourself this way? Why ask? Because you're desperate to know. And she'll know it.

What good will these questions do? If she gives you a number will you believe her? If it's high will you just be more devastated? If it's low will you think "oh b*llsh*t" or wonder if it's only a partial truth?

If it's only a couple how long could that make you feel better? It could be a third tomorrow. If she says those guys are in the past can you believe her, and if you can what's to stop her from meeting somebody new next week?

What good could possibly come of hearing about this girl's dates? It'll twist your heart.

You know all you need to know. She's dating others. She knows you want her to stop and she has told you she won't. A number won't change any of that. So you can accept that there can be as many others as she wants, and that she probably won't ever tell you the full truth because she's well aware that you have it bad; or you can leave, because this is not a situation you want.

[Versacehottie]

19 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

You know all you need to know. She's dating others. She knows you want her to stop and she has told you she won't. A number won't change any of that. So you can accept that there can be as many others as she wants, and that she probably won't ever tell you the full truth because she's well aware that you have it bad; or you can leave, because this is not a situation you want.

1000% agree with the above ^^^

Weirdly I don't mind the talk the OP says he will have tomorrow; i'm 50/50 on it.  Funny he calls it indirect but it feels direct to me.  As he wrote it there it sounds pretty breezy.  The only part is will it come out like that--in his tone & nonverbal communication.  I'm not sure.  If he feels like he felt a few days ago, or inherently thinks she is wrong for doing what she is doing (which sorry, OP, it does still sound like that), it might come off really badly.  

Lastly, wow, giving up your phone number.  That's major! I can see doing that from the long term ex maybe but from one tinder date?  I don't get it, does blocking not work?  That is the fishiest part of this whole saga 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Versacehottie

[JC90]

17 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

1000% agree with the above ^^^

Weirdly I don't mind the talk the OP says he will have tomorrow; i'm 50/50 on it.  Funny he calls it indirect but it feels direct to me.  As he wrote it there it sounds pretty breezy.  The only part is will it come out like that--in his tone & nonverbal communication.  I'm not sure.  If he feels like he felt a few days ago, or inherently thinks she is wrong for doing what she is doing (which sorry, OP, it does still sound like that), it might come off really badly.  

Lastly, wow, giving up your phone number.  That's major! I can see doing that from the long term ex maybe but from one tinder date?  I don't get it, does blocking not work?  That is the fishiest part of this whole saga 

All I can think of is that the dude used burner phone number apps and kept hitting her up with new, fake phone numbers and wouldn't stop. But yes, a number change is pretty extreme. Her exact response when I asked why she had to change her number was "it's a long story, but in short this guy wouldn't leave me alone." The "long story" part makes me really curious for some reason...

If I end up asking these questions I'll probably need at least a couple drinks in me. And her ha.

I also can't be mad. I hooked up with someone thursday night. Not even because I wanted to, but because I felt it was necessary. I'm actually more bothered right at this very moment because she's probably out on a date, but the date I had setup for tonight flaked, so I'm just sitting at home doing jack s*** tonight while she's most likely out with a dude. I'm realizing that I feel a lot better when I think things are "even"--if she's seeing other people, I'm seeing other people too. That way I can't be upset because I'm doing the same thing. I wonder how she would react if the next time we were about to have sex I pulled out a condom and said "we should probably start using these". LOL. Don't think I have the balls to do that though.

[some_username1]

Yeah I agree with the above- it’s easy to talk about eliciting information but as someone who has been in your position if you’re new to it then it takes serious practice to hide your emotional investment from your tonality and it can usually manifest itself in your “bright and breezy” questions sounding a lot more bitter and pointed when you blurt them out than when you were plotting them in your head. I don’t think it’s going to work so well to try and tackle her dating habits because your agenda will be fairly transparent having already revealed the cards you are holding by trying to define what the situation is.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence here and when I’ve been in her position playing the field I‘ve used a burner Tinder phone to keep dating contacts separate from family and friends so I also agree with the new phone number being suspicious. Stuff like that is all about covering your tracks and limiting your exposure when you’re churning through a lot of dates online. Also having different numbers allows you to get round people You are seeing who get suspicious about you being online on WhatsApp and not chatting to them. “Are you texting other women?!” Etc. As a multi-dater little things like that can really limit your options.

Having done the whole multi-dating thing and got a glimpse into the sort of mindset a multi-dater has I tend to find it helps me to simplify the situation (when I am the one who is looking to progress things to exclusivity) to a choice that I have complete control over (even though she is the one holding the cards in terms of me and her). I basically think of it in terms that she is obviously still looking for something that she hasn’t yet found in me, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of any future relationship. I don’t want to be settled for so I have the choice of walking away or *me* relegating *her* to a side-piece, reluctantly firing up the old dating app and trying to find someone even better than her. There’s no in-between as that’s where over-thinking, in-decision and letting myself be treated as an option creeps in.

Lastly one thing I notice on these forums is that no happy ever after seems to start with “well, I dated him for like 6 weeks but at the same time I was looking for other guys I liked better but couldn’t find any so I decided to stick with him and here we are 20 years later with 3 kids!”. Possibly because it’s not exactly a great footing to start out from so worth bearing that in mind whilst you are looking for exclusivity.

 

Edited July 12, 2020 by some_username1

[JC90]

23 minutes ago, some_username1 said:

Yeah I agree with the above- it’s easy to talk about eliciting information but as someone who has been in your position if you’re new to it then it takes serious practice to hide your emotional investment from your tonality and it can usually manifest itself in your “bright and breezy” questions sounding a lot more bitter and pointed when you blurt them out than when you were plotting them in your head. I don’t think it’s going to work so well to try and tackle her dating habits because your agenda will be fairly transparent having already revealed the cards you are holding by trying to define what the situation is.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence here and when I’ve been in her position playing the field I‘ve used a burner Tinder phone to keep dating contacts separate from family and friends so I also agree with the new phone number being suspicious. Stuff like that is all about covering your tracks and limiting your exposure when you’re churning through a lot of dates online. Also having different numbers allows you to get round people You are seeing who get suspicious about you being online on WhatsApp and not chatting to them. “Are you texting other women?!” Etc. As a multi-dater little things like that can really limit your options.

Having done the whole multi-dating thing and got a glimpse into the sort of mindset a multi-dater has I tend to find it helps me to simplify the situation (when I am the one who is looking to progress things to exclusivity) to a choice that I have complete control over (even though she is the one holding the cards in terms of me and her). I basically think of it in terms that she is obviously still looking for something that she hasn’t yet found in me, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of any future relationship. I don’t want to be settled for so I have the choice of walking away or *me* relegating *her* to a side-piece, reluctantly firing up the old dating app and trying to find someone even better than her. There’s no in-between as that’s where over-thinking, in-decision and letting myself be treated as an option creeps in.

Lastly one thing I notice on these forums is that no happy ever after seems to start with “well, I dated him for like 6 weeks but at the same time I was looking for other guys I liked better but couldn’t find any so I decided to stick with him and here we are 20 years later with 3 kids!”. Possibly because it’s not exactly a great footing to start out from so worth bearing that in mind whilst you are looking for exclusivity.

With the new number thing, the only thing I can think of is that the guy was harassing her (on her original number) using fake phone numbers and forced her to change it. We were just using regular text messages, so there's no way for me to track her texting habits in any way.

I really don't want to defend her, BUT in her defense, when you're just getting out of a relationship you're usually emotionally unavailable and want to be a "free spirit" and slut around before looking for something serious again. I kind of get it because I've been there too. What I'm really bothered by in this situation is the manipulation. We are extremely relationshippy when we're together. She's treating me like a placeholder boyfriend, and she's very, very good at it. If she's able to do this with me, then easily and willfully go out and see guys right after guilt free, that really says something to me about her mental/emotional state. It's like extremely manipulative and even sociopathic behavior.

Edited July 12, 2020 by JC90

[some_username1]

37 minutes ago, JC90 said:

With the new number thing, the only thing I can think of is that the guy was harassing her (on her original number) using fake phone numbers and forced her to change it. We were just using regular text messages, so there's no way for me to track her texting habits in any way.

I really don't want to defend her, BUT in her defense, when you're just getting out of a relationship you're usually emotionally unavailable and want to be a "free spirit" and slut around before looking for something serious again. I kind of get it because I've been there too. What I'm really bothered by in this situation is the manipulation. We are extremely relationshippy when we're together. She's treating me like a placeholder boyfriend, and she's very, very good at it. If she's able to do this with me, then easily and willfully go out and see guys right after guilt free, that really says something to me about her mental/emotional state. It's like extremely manipulative and even sociopathic behavior.

Sounds similar to a girl I fell hard for a while back- she was very charismatic and so was able to make me feel like I was really important to her and that it was going somewhere...but she was also quite sociopathic/narcissistic with some of the things she said and the risky behaviours she indulged in. I had the same problem as you in that I wanted more but she was playing the field and probably dating half the town. She was a really good people person so as “special” as she made me feel I could totally understand that to her it was a skill to help her get her way just like you use a skill to do a job and that she could apply that skill to every man she was dating making him think that he was the sole focus of her attention. With women like that I’ve learnt that what happens when you two are together is to be taken with a pinch of salt, her behaviour when you aren’t together will tell you what she really thinks.

To add to that it’s my belief that women *generally* are better able to compartmentalise their behaviour, especially when it comes to dating. So they can really buy into having a good time with you in-person and the fantasy of being coupled up and yet be able to do the same with a number of guys they have in rotation although as I said above attractive women who are really socially adept and who know how to charm will be really convincing at it and find it exceptionally easy. 

[Versacehottie]

59 minutes ago, JC90 said:

With the new number thing, the only thing I can think of is that the guy was harassing her (on her original number) using fake phone numbers and forced her to change it. We were just using regular text messages, so there's no way for me to track her texting habits in any way.

I really don't want to defend her, BUT in her defense, when you're just getting out of a relationship you're usually emotionally unavailable and want to be a "free spirit" and slut around before looking for something serious again. I kind of get it because I've been there too. What I'm really bothered by in this situation is the manipulation. We are extremely relationshippy when we're together. She's treating me like a placeholder boyfriend, and she's very, very good at it. If she's able to do this with me, then easily and willfully go out and see guys right after guilt free, that really says something to me about her mental/emotional state. It's like extremely manipulative and even sociopathic behavior.

Ok quick reply...more later...just thinking a little deviously and devils advocate...what if the previous phone number you had for her WAS the burner type phone, ie the one she only gives out to people she’s not sure what she will end up doing with...maybe you’ve made it into the inside circle and got her real number now.

idk, maybe it’s just my location and people I know but west coast I don’t think we are big users of burner phones here. I know people who have 2 different cell phones but not a true burner one/secretive phone . I think it’s. Euro thing. Op, where do you live? I was guessing American for sure maybe even west coast 

needless to say, I would assume this is proof that she has a habit of driving more than one guy crazy. Guessing she is just hot/cold person and these are the outcomes of it. 

 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Versacehottie

[JC90]

12 minutes ago, some_username1 said:

Sounds similar to a girl I fell hard for a while back- she was very charismatic and so was able to make me feel like I was really important to her and that it was going somewhere...but she was also quite sociopathic/narcissistic with some of the things she said and the risky behaviours she indulged in. I had the same problem as you in that I wanted more but she was playing the field and probably dating half the town. She was a really good people person so as “special” as she made me feel I could totally understand that to her it was a skill to help her get her way just like you use a skill to do a job and that she could apply that skill to every man she was dating making him think that he was the sole focus of her attention. With women like that I’ve learnt that what happens when you two are together is to be taken with a pinch of salt, her behaviour when you aren’t together will tell you what she really thinks.

To add to that it’s my belief that women *generally* are better able to compartmentalise their behaviour, especially when it comes to dating. So they can really buy into having a good time with you in-person and the fantasy of being coupled up and yet be able to do the same with a number of guys they have in rotation although as I said above attractive women who are really socially adept and who know how to charm will be really convincing at it and find it exceptionally easy. 

Yeah... I was gonna say I wouldn't be able to do what she is doing/might be doing to me. Like I've said, I even felt guilty just TALKING to other women. If she's really going on dates with randoms right after having very intimate boyfriend/girlfriend dates with me that's honestly... Scary.

26 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

Ok quick reply...more later...just thinking a little deviously and devils advocate...what if the previous phone number you had for her WAS the burner type phone, ie the one she only gives out to people she’s not sure what she will end up doing with...maybe you’ve made it into the inside circle and got her real number now.

idk, maybe it’s just my location and people I know but west coast I don’t think we are big users of burner phones here. I know people who have 2 different cell phones but not a true burner one/secretive phone . I think it’s. Euro thing. Op, where do you live? I was guessing American for sure maybe even west coast 

needless to say, I would assume this is proof that she has a habit of driving more than one guy crazy. Guessing she is just hot/cold person and these are the outcomes of it. 

 

Doubtful. The original number was also on her facebook profile.

I'm on the east coast actually.

She's usually just been "hot" when we've hungout. I don't see much push and pull. I honestly think it could've just been a guy who she had a bad first date with, never wanted to see again, and he went stalker because of the rejection.

[JC90]

This girl has even met my dad ffs. If she's really playing me this hard she's a true sociopath.

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 hours ago, JC90 said:

With the new number thing, the only thing I can think of is that the guy was harassing her (on her original number) using fake phone numbers and forced her to change it. We were just using regular text messages, so there's no way for me to track her texting habits in any way.

I really don't want to defend her, BUT in her defense, when you're just getting out of a relationship you're usually emotionally unavailable and want to be a "free spirit" and slut around before looking for something serious again. I kind of get it because I've been there too. What I'm really bothered by in this situation is the manipulation. We are extremely relationshippy when we're together. She's treating me like a placeholder boyfriend, and she's very, very good at it. If she's able to do this with me, then easily and willfully go out and see guys right after guilt free, that really says something to me about her mental/emotional state. It's like extremely manipulative and even sociopathic behavior.

And yet you still want her.

By the way, you SHOULD be using a condom. Since it was "necessary" for you to have sex with someone on Thursday.

Even though you squeezed out of her that she's NOT having sex with other people (which you believe is true).

But she's displaying sociopathic behavior?

All these games. Never outright asking her, just thinking you're playing in cool with casual "indirect" methods that you think you'll have to get drunk for. And now you're messing around with other girls' heads (and bodies). This is the person you want to be?

"Yeah... I was gonna say I wouldn't be able to do what she is doing/might be doing to me. Like I've said, I even felt guilty just TALKING to other women. If she's really going on dates with randoms right after having very intimate boyfriend/girlfriend dates with me that's honestly... Scary."

Wait, what? You just told us you hooked up with some random girl on Thursday.

Edited July 12, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[CaliforniaGirl]

52 minutes ago, JC90 said:

This girl has even met my dad ffs. If she's really playing me this hard she's a true sociopath.

Good. Correct. You're right. She is literally a sociopath. So I'm sure this revelation means you're breaking up with her?

[JC90]

7 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

And her you still want her.

By the way, you SHOULD be using a condom. Since you "had to" have sex with someone on Thursday.

Even though you squeezed out of her that she's NOT having sex with other people (which you believe is true).

But she's displaying sociopathic behavior?

All these games. And now you're messing around with other girls' heads (and bodies). This is the person you want to be?

Yes. She was the one who "likes where we are" and either completely lied (i.e. is having sex with the other guys she's seeing) or gave me a BS half-truth (i.e. no sex YET but is still talking to and consistently seeing other guys) when, by your words, it was obvious to her that I wanted more. I'm doing nothing more than playing her game. I feel no guilt or remorse for seeing other people because I know for a FACT that she is doing the same and also has no guilt or remorse for doing it WHILE treating me like a placeholder boyfriend and manipulating me into catching feelings. I personally would never do this to someone. If I only wanted free sex, attention from the opposite sex, and dates once in a while without the commitment (as it seems she does) I would tell them early on that I only want friends with benefits and do no want a relationship.

Want her? What I'd love now is for her to bring up the DTR talk so I can tell her "I like where we are".

5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Good. Correct. You're right. She is literally a sociopath. So I'm sure this revelation means you're breaking up with her?

Or I could take a page out of her book and keep seeing her for free sex and intimacy while also seeing other people on the side--guilt free. Maybe I'll even muster up the courage to reschedule dates with her and put her on the backburner behind the other girls I see--just like she's doing to me.

[JC90]

16 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Wait, what? You just told us you hooked up with some random girl on Thursday.

It's called seeing other people like she's doing to take my mind off her and guard myself. You already know this isn't how I wanted this to be.

Edited July 12, 2020 by JC90

[CaliforniaGirl]

3 minutes ago, JC90 said:

Yes. She was the one who "likes where we are" and either completely lied (i.e. is having sex with the other guys she's seeing) or gave me a BS half-truth (i.e. no sex YET but is still talking to and consistently seeing other guys) when, by your words, it was obvious to her that I wanted more. I'm doing nothing more than playing her game. I feel no guilt or remorse for seeing other people because I know for a FACT that she is doing the same and also has no guilt or remorse for doing it WHILE treating me like a placeholder boyfriend and manipulating me into catching feelings. I personally would never do this to someone. If I only wanted free sex, attention from the opposite sex, and dates once in a while without the commitment (as it seems she does) I would tell them early on that I only want friends with benefits and do no want a relationship.

Want her? What I'd love now is for her to bring up the DTR talk so I can tell her "I like where we are".

Or I could take a page out of her book and keep seeing her for free sex and intimacy while also seeing other people on the side--guilt free. Maybe I'll even muster up the courage to reschedule dates with her and put her on the backburner behind the other girls I see--just like she's doing to me.

Playing her game...why? Honestly this post sounds like you absolutely hate her.

You don't even know what her "game" is, you're just inventing all these scenarios, building them up higher and bigger. And then saying you're acting out based on that: your imaginings. She "must" be with this or that guy, she's going from something "like a relationship" the next night...you don't even know that, you've invented it to the point of this girl being a literal monster. In your head. BUT you still contractually ask her any of this outright....no way....you'll just ask hundreds of strangers to guess too, and you'll guess and imagine about whether this is her burner phone or that one was....or none of them...and you'll try to find out...by getting her to drink....and flawlessly executing an "act casual and trick the answers out of her" mission or something....

But she's a sick sociopath and deserves to have a "game" played her?

You're fine, though, and doing the right thing and NOT a sociopath like her because you're only playing "her" game that you're completely imagining? And you'll scr*w women who have NO idea about any of this and never deserved any of this, as a clever way to play "her" game?

Dude. Do you hear yourself?? The wheels are falling off. ASK her if she intends to be exclusive not...and then if you can't handle it (and you definitely can't).....break up with her.

[JC90]

41 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Playing her game...why? Honestly this post sounds like you absolutely hate her.

You don't even know what her "game" is, you're just inventing all these scenarios, building them up higher and bigger. And then saying you're acting out based on that: your imaginings. She "must" be with this or that guy, she's going from something "like a relationship" the next night...you don't even know that, you've invented it to the point of this girl being a literal monster. In your head. BUT you still contractually ask her any of this outright....no way....you'll just ask hundreds of strangers to guess too, and you'll guess and imagine about whether this is her burner phone or that one was....or none of them...and you'll try to find out...by getting her to drink....and flawlessly executing an "act casual and trick the answers out of her" mission or something....

But she's a sick sociopath and deserves to have a "game" played her?

You're fine, though, and doing the right thing and NOT a sociopath like her because you're only playing "her" game that you're completely imagining? And you'll scr*w women who have NO idea about any of this and never deserved any of this, as a clever way to play "her" game?

Dude. Do you hear yourself?? The wheels are falling off. ASK her if she intends to be exclusive not...and then if you can't handle it (and you definitely can't).....break up with her.

She literally told me she had to change her number because of a dude she met up with from tinder, and this date 100% happened while we were seeing each other and I'd bet money it happened within the last 2 weeks. It's fair for her to date other guys, but her half-truth BS of only sleeping with me is ridiculous. The reason you go on dates--especially those from tinder--is to see if you like someone enough to start sleeping with them, and sometimes you just outright sleep with them the same night. If she was totally truthful, she would've said "I'm not sleeping with anyone else right now, but I am going on dates and may be in the (near) future".

Actually the girl I slept with thursday knows about it. We're friends and I told her the situation.

There's no guessing here. She is 100% going on dates with other guys. The only thing I don't know if she's slept/is sleeping with any of them.

Her game is this: Use JC90 as a boyfriend figure in my life because I know he likes and wants to date me and I enjoy the sex, laughs and intimacy he gives me while I cruise around on tinder and meetup with other guys because I want more male attention. JC90 is great for giving me something to fall back on.