Lagoon1212 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 So a year and a half ago I started my new job where I met my handsome, super cute coworker. From day one, I noticed him smiling every time he passes by but attributed it to being friendly (also thought he was way too cute and successful to pay attention to me). Eventually, he started saying hi and then my name, followed by a huge stare and smile. Also, whenever we were on the same floor I would catch him stare at me (every single time). One time, I was gettingg something from an empty office when he came inside and started chatting. I said “havent seen you in a while.” He responded “well did you miss me?” I jokingly said “of course”. He stared at me and as I was leaving the room he yelled “well I missed you too (my name). Sometimes, he would see me in the hallway, yell my name and run towards me (I usually stop and wait for him expecting he has something important to tell me, but then he would be “whats up? Hows your day going” on another occasion, he was with 5 other people discussing something when he saw me, left them and approached me to ask how I was doing during quarantine and that he noticed I colored my hair and it looks nice. Anyway, I can go on and on with these little examples. Last month I got a new job and on my last day, I saw him and made sure to tell him that. His reaction: oh wow, I am sorry to see you go. You were one of my favorites. I wish I got to know you outside of work. It makes me sad to see you go” And few other question related to my new position. All of this in front of another coworker who was walking with him. My question is: what is his deal? Everyone thinks he is super cute and he is extremely successful. He had 1 year at least to ask me out or at least get my number. Was he just trying to boost his ego???
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 Seems like he had a crush on you, but respected workplace boundaries. Upon hearing that you were leaving, he kind of confessed his crush. This happened to me last year. I had a giant crush on a female receptionist at my office. During an office happy hour, we got pretty snuggly at the bar. But I drew the line. I respected my workplace too much, I liked (like) my job too much to risk it over a fling. When I found out she had left and was moving to Florida, I sent her a text basically saying the same thing, "too bad you're leaving, it would have been nice to get lunch at [place I mentioned to her]. I hope you'll visit sometime!" And that was it. A workplace crush. Nothing more. Nothing to act on. 1
Phallacy Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 You’re way too invested in this guy. What about the other boring guys you’re ignoring? Something tells me you ain’t all that if this is the only guy you are into for over a YEAR 1
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) I understand workplace boundaries, but not sure I'm buying the "crush" theory. If that were the case, when you told him you were leaving, that would have been the perfect opportunity for him to escalate - ask for your number and ask you out. I assume you are not moving out of state? But yet he didn't, he let you leave with some song and dance about how he wished he'd gotten to know you better, blah blah. Calling bs on that, he sounds like a big flirt, tease, has a bit of a "playerish" vibe, and I doubt you are the first. You sure he doesn't have a gf or married? Edited July 7, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Author Lagoon1212 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 7 minutes ago, Phallacy said: You’re way too invested in this guy. What about the other boring guys you’re ignoring? Something tells me you ain’t all that if this is the only guy you are into for over a YEAR Well, it is not like I was waiting on him. I dated in meantime, (outside of work). Had few other coworkers giving me their phone numbers. Another cute one, gave me a huge hug and sent me fb request after I told him I quit. But I am not really interested in none of them. The guy Iasked about is, on the other hand, everything I ever dreamt about.
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Not sure I'm buying the "crush" theory. If that were the case, when you told him you were leaving, that would have been the perfect opportunity for him to escalate - ask for your number and ask you out. I dunno, with someone else standing right there? Maybe he didn't work up the nerve to ask for a number right then and there in front of an audience. Not all guys, even handsome ones, are that confident and bold.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Not sure I'm buying the "crush" theory. If that were the case, when you told him you were leaving, that would have been the perfect opportunity for him to escalate - ask for your number and ask you out. But yet he didn't, he let you leave with some song and dance about how he wished he'd gotten to know you better. Calling bs on that, he sounds like a big flirt, tease, has a bit of a "playerish" vibe, and I doubt you are the first. You sure he doesn't have a gf or married? He is single. My friend saw his profile on a dating site. He does have a son (single father). He mentioned that in a profile and also told one of our coworkers.
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Lagoon1212 said: He is single. My friend saw his profile on a dating site. He does have a son (single father). He mentioned that in a profile and also told one of our coworkers. Ok, so why do you think he didn't take the opportunity to get your number? You were leaving the company so there was nothing preventing him from doing so, and imo and experience, would have if he were crushing on you. Not to mention he's on a dating site, but still didn't care enough to get your number. If me, I'd let it go, don't give it a second thought. I've learned, words mean jack sh*t when not followed up by action. Who knows why he acted like he did, and who cares. The fact is he let you leave without getting your number and asking you out, that pretty much says it all imo. Edited July 7, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 5 minutes ago, Lagoon1212 said: Well, it is not like I was waiting on him. I dated in meantime, (outside of work). Had few other coworkers giving me their phone numbers. Another cute one, gave me a huge hug and sent me fb request after I told him I quit. But I am not really interested in none of them. The guy Iasked about is, on the other hand, everything I ever dreamt about. He doesn't sound like a shy guy. Always coming up to you after leaving other co workers midway and being friendly. Therefore when you said you were leaving, that was an opportunity for him to ask for your number or social media details. Instead of being like aww you're leaving, and not doing a thing about it. So im with Poppy. Unsure of the crush thing. I mean you're leaving now so no work boundaries should be stopping him. 1
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 8 minutes ago, rjc149 said: I dunno, with someone else standing right there? Maybe he didn't work up the nerve to ask for a number right then and there in front of an audience. Not all guys, even handsome ones, are that confident and bold. He had a whole year?
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 12 minutes ago, Lagoon1212 said: Well, it is not like I was waiting on him. I dated in meantime, (outside of work). Had few other coworkers giving me their phone numbers. Another cute one, gave me a huge hug and sent me fb request after I told him I quit. But I am not really interested in none of them. The guy Iasked about is, on the other hand, everything I ever dreamt about. Other people gave you their fcebook he could have done the same? 1
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 6 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: He had a whole year? Some guys respect workplace boundaries and prefer not to sh-t where they eat. 1
Author Lagoon1212 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: Other people gave you their fcebook he could have done the same? Yup that is why I mentioned it. This other guy is just as successful as the cute one (same position actually). He said “oh well it was nice working with you” and gave me a long, gentle hug. 20 min later I saw his fb request (meaning he had to probably look up my last name (kinda hard to remember and spell), but he put some effort even though we were just coworkers (no obvious flirting involved). Edited July 7, 2020 by Lagoon1212
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, rjc149 said: Some guys respect workplace boundaries and prefer not to sh-t where they eat. Agree! So what's your theory about him not asking for her number when she told him she was leaving? In your case, girl was moving to Florida, not so with OP, she will still be living in the same place.
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Lagoon1212 said: Yup that is why I mentioned it. This other guy is just as successful as the cute one (same position actually). He said “oh well it was nice working with you” and gave me a long, gentle hug. 20 min later I saw his fb request (meaning he had to probably look up my last name (kinda hard to remember and spell), but he put some effort even though we were just coworkers (no obvious flirting involved). If you like him so much. Why don't you look him up on facebook . If you think it's reciprocated shouldn't be a problem right Edited July 7, 2020 by Roswell91 1
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Agree! So what's your theory about him not asking for her number when she told him she was leaving? In your case, girl was moving to Florida, not so with OP, she will still be living in the same place. Someone else was standing right there. That would make me nervous as hell. Not being sure if her interest was reciprocated. Content with leaving it as an office crush and nothing more.
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 Also, what was up with all his over the top flirting etc? Doesn't quite jive with respecting workplace boundaries. 1
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, Roswell91 said: If you like him so much. Why don't you look him up on facebook . OP, in all seriousness, this is an option worth some consideration. At least you'll get some closure, worst case. 1
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Also, what was up with all his over the top flirting etc? Doesn't quite jive with respecting workplace boundaries. Yeah its a bit contradictory. I've. Come across guys like that at my workplace. But at the end of the day its all talk and a bit of fun while bored at work But sometimes you just never know. There are exceptions Edited July 7, 2020 by Roswell91
rjc149 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Also, what was up with all his over the top flirting etc? Doesn't quite jive with respecting workplace boundaries. PG-rated flirting would be well within those boundaries. Sometimes, guys like the validation of a girl being receptive to their flirting, and are content with that. The receptionist I mentioned -- we flirted quite heavily. It never got sexual or explicit, although it very easily could have. I drew the line. Everyone remarked on it, however. My manager undoubtedly noticed. But there was nothing sexual going on. So it was okay. Risque, but okay. A lot of our interactions were little 30-second bantering in the break room. That was it. But I was content with that. It's a place of business, not a house party.
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, rjc149 said: PG-rated flirting would be well within those boundaries. Sometimes, guys like the validation of a girl being receptive to their flirting, and are content with that. The receptionist I mentioned -- we flirted quite heavily. It never got sexual or explicit, although it very easily could have. I drew the line. Everyone remarked on it, however. My manager undoubtedly noticed. But there was nothing sexual going on. So it was okay. Risque, but okay. A lot of our interactions were little 30-second bantering in the break room. That was it. But I was content with that. It's a place of business, not a house party. Fair enough, I'm just getting a different vibe from this guy, that's all. Nuff said from me. Edited July 7, 2020 by poppyfields
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