fred123 Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 so i just set up my instagram the other day. i requested to follow my ex from 4 years ago ( she has a private account). i sent her a nice message saying " congrats. hope u and your family are safe x" the congrats was cos on her account it says "mrs to be" so i assume shes getting married. she was always wanting to get married for years. she within 5 minutes rejected the request. i find it ironic when i was dating her she was still in contact with her exes and her ex f*** buddies. she never blocked them like she did with me. can women? someone explain?
Mystery4u Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 What makes you think that she thinks the same of you as she does her other exes? I have exes that if they reached out I would happily reply politely and then there are others that I would not even waste my time on them and would block/delete. Nothing ironic about it, just sounds like you are expecting an ex from 4 years ago to treat you a certain way, which is quite simply ridiculous.
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 (edited) Was this the woman who would have sex with you but never go out in public with you & wouldn't introduce you to her family? If so the answer to her present behavior remains the explanation for why she was horrible to you when you were "together." You were always her dirty little secret. Also if she's engaged she is setting proper boundaries by not reconnecting on social media with an EX as she's planning her wedding to somebody else. As a general proposition with respect to social media when you break up unfriend, unfollow, disconnect. Nobody who is no longer an active part of your life needs a window into your current events. Edited July 6, 2020 by d0nnivain 1
Erik30 Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, fred123 said: i find it ironic when i was dating her she was still in contact with her exes and her ex f*** buddies. she never blocked them like she did with me Maybe the guy she's with right now doesn't want her exes on instagram... or she doesn't want it, especially since she's getting married. Also you're not even friends so I get why she would reject the request Edited July 6, 2020 by Erik30
Author fred123 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Posted July 6, 2020 7 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: What makes you think that she thinks the same of you as she does her other exes? I have exes that if they reached out I would happily reply politely and then there are others that I would not even waste my time on them and would block/delete. Nothing ironic about it, just sounds like you are expecting an ex from 4 years ago to treat you a certain way, which is quite simply ridiculous. thank you for your reply. can you give me some insight why some exes you would happily reply with and some you wouldnt? either way isnt it disrespectful to your current partner?
Author fred123 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Posted July 6, 2020 9 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Was this the woman who would have sex with you but never go out in public with you & wouldn't introduce you to her family? If so the answer to her present behavior remains the explanation for why she was horrible to you when you were "together." You were always her dirty little secret. Also if she's engaged she is setting proper boundaries by not reconnecting on social media with an EX as she's planning her wedding to somebody else. As a general proposition with respect to social media when you break up unfriend, unfollow, disconnect. Nobody who is no longer an active part of your life needs a window into your current events. yes this is that jewish girl. i just sent a nice message that was all. im happy for her shes found what shes looking for. when i was with her she always seemed upset and complaining about he friends on facebook getting engaged and felt left out. so im happy shes finally got what she wanted and gets to wear her dress she wanted etc. i feel if other exes or past guys added her she might treat them differently. thats the thing that sucks
Erik30 Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I didn't know about the history you had with this girl, but she did you a favor. Why would you want to keep in touch with someone like that? Sorry but she probably doesn't want you in her life at all, not even on instagram. But at least you can't "torture yourself" with seeing pictures of her with her new guy
Author fred123 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, Erik30 said: I didn't know about the history you had with this girl, but she did you a favor. Why would you want to keep in touch with someone like that? Sorry but she probably doesn't want you in her life at all, not even on instagram. But at least you can't "torture yourself" with seeing pictures of her with her new guy the torture bit im over. its not an issue anymore its been over 4 years lol. literally just a friendly message to someone who i cared and loved at some point thats all
Haerts Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 There could be a thousand reasons why she doesn't want to be in touch with you or share her life with you. Focus on "she doesn't want". It doesn't matter why, really. After 1 year and a half broken with my ex, I also tried to add him on Instagram (for no specific reason). I was rejected. And I did not read too much into it, 'cause it's pointless.
Author fred123 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, Haerts said: There could be a thousand reasons why she doesn't want to be in touch with you or share her life with you. Focus on "she doesn't want". It doesn't matter why, really. After 1 year and a half broken with my ex, I also tried to add him on Instagram (for no specific reason). I was rejected. And I did not read too much into it, 'cause it's pointless. why did you after 1.5 years try to add him?
Haerts Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, fred123 said: why did you after 1.5 years try to add him? Well, I know I said there was no specific reason but I just remembered it was actually his birthday. lol I was going to wish him a happy birthday and honestly, I am over him so I wouldn't mind being friends. It would probably be a bad idea anyway.
DarrenB Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 4 years is a long time, people change. Sounds as if she's set solely on the future with her new man and would rather stay clear from old flames... I respect that. As for you I'd probably not overthink this at all and brush it off your shoulder, as this is not something practicable to look into
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 3 hours ago, fred123 said: the torture bit im over. its not an issue anymore its been over 4 years lol. literally just a friendly message to someone who i cared and loved at some point thats all If you were an FB at the time and those other guys had been too (before you), then it only makes sense that she didn't mind talking to all of you. Nobody was going to be jealous of anybody else and a FB isn't really owed the respect of cutting off former ties. But now she's getting married. They're committed to each other, and she does owe him respect.
manfrombelow Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 7 hours ago, fred123 said: so i just set up my instagram the other day. i requested to follow my ex from 4 years ago ( she has a private account). i sent her a nice message saying " congrats. hope u and your family are safe x" the congrats was cos on her account it says "mrs to be" so i assume shes getting married. she was always wanting to get married for years. she within 5 minutes rejected the request. i find it ironic when i was dating her she was still in contact with her exes and her ex f*** buddies. she never blocked them like she did with me. can women? someone explain? As a man, the last thing you want to do with your life is to stalk, send cheesy BS messages and wonder what your exes think. Leave them alone. 1
Author fred123 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 4 hours ago, manfrombelow said: As a man, the last thing you want to do with your life is to stalk, send cheesy BS messages and wonder what your exes think. Leave them alone. as a man? lol nothing cheesey about it. we werent fb. we were dating and bf and gf. anyways she has replied and we have exchanged a few polite messages catching up thats all
chillii Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 4 yrs though , that's a long time for ex's to be still around , it's too long what's the point of a few lines now and then after all those yrs, it's pointless . especially if she's getting married and in a whole new life. She wants this , past in the past , a whole new future , so she zapped you. lt's a blessing just let it be and get on with your future that's what she's doing.
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 13 hours ago, fred123 said: so i just set up my instagram the other day. i requested to follow my ex from 4 years ago ( she has a private account). i sent her a nice message saying " congrats. hope u and your family are safe x" the congrats was cos on her account it says "mrs to be" so i assume shes getting married. she was always wanting to get married for years. she within 5 minutes rejected the request. i find it ironic when i was dating her she was still in contact with her exes and her ex f*** buddies. she never blocked them like she did with me. can women? someone explain? Marriage is different to dating. Its a whole different kettle of fish.
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 1 hour ago, fred123 said: as a man? lol nothing cheesey about it. we werent fb. we were dating and bf and gf. anyways she has replied and we have exchanged a few polite messages catching up thats all If you don't mind me asking why you messaging her at all. Its quite clearly over now. 1
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