diana9 Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I recently met a guy and we hung out couple of times and last time I was at his flat, and I noticed some girly stuff and children toys and he said that he is living with his sister and her child on weekends. That was strange to me because his sister has her own flat. I've also saw child's drawings where she draw her mother, herself and her uncle, and wrote my mummy, me and my uncle. But still, I am wondering if she has her own flat why are they living together on weekends?
amaysngrace Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 What’s it matter really? Maybe he helps babysit, maybe his city is more child friendly, maybe her roommates party hard on weekends. I guess if you’d like to know why then you could always just ask him. 3
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Yes, don't guess on something like this. Just ask him.
Author diana9 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Posted July 6, 2020 His sister does not have any roomates, and they live in the same city. I asked if they are living together on weekends, why are they not living together during the week, and he said that it is because of the kindergarten. But still, maybe I am wrong, if she has her own flat and a job, and he has his own flat and a job, why are they living together? He is 36 years old and she is 40.
Hopeful30 Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, diana9 said: His sister does not have any roomates, and they live in the same city. I asked if they are living together on weekends, why are they not living together during the week, and he said that it is because of the kindergarten. But still, maybe I am wrong, if she has her own flat and a job, and he has his own flat and a job, why are they living together? He is 36 years old and she is 40. Sounds sketchy to me, too. What does your gut tell you?
amaysngrace Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 The school sending district makes sense to me. Many parents care about the quality of education their children receive. He probably just helps her out then with babysitting or perhaps provides a strong male presence for the child. I’m sure there’s a logical reason.
Author diana9 Posted July 6, 2020 Author Posted July 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said: Sounds sketchy to me, too. What does your gut tell you? I don't know. I believe it is his sister because of the child's drawings.
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 1 minute ago, diana9 said: His sister does not have any roomates, and they live in the same city. I asked if they are living together on weekends, why are they not living together during the week, and he said that it is because of the kindergarten. But still, maybe I am wrong, if she has her own flat and a job, and he has his own flat and a job, why are they living together? He is 36 years old and she is 40. Well, you asked him why and he answered you. Do you not believe him? I'm not sure I would believe that answer either as it sounds strange. But maybe they are a close family and he likes spending a lot of time with his niece and sister? Rather than creating scenarios in your mind, let him know that it is something that is on your mind and talk about it. There isn't really anything we can help you with. It's either a legit story, or he is cheating on you and using it for an elaborate cover story. I dunno, sounds like a lot of trouble to go through though.
amaysngrace Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I think you’re reading too much into it. Children deserve all the love they can get. I guess the bigger issue is why are you with someone you don’t trust? 4 1
Mystery4u Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 What a weird topic. Surely this is a conversation you should be having with him not a forum of strangers? Just ask him why she stays at his on the weekend? It's not exactly hard. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I agree it sounds odd but since the drawing said Uncle not Daddy I think he's telling the truth. Date him a while longer if everything else is good then meet them & see where you are.
Kitty Tantrum Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 My younger brother and I are housemates, so I don't see this as particularly weird. His girlfriend eventually moved in, too. Having a good male influence around who I can trust 100% and who looks after my kids like family (because they are) is pretty great. Maybe a bit odd that she has her own place and goes between, but I've heard of a lot of people who maintain a different address/residence for school district purposes. Now, siblings certainly CAN have codependent relationships, so watch for that - but I wouldn't assume he's lying or that there's anything weird or untoward going on. 3
Noproblem Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 why it's a taboo that a brother and sister are close? It's shame that people think badly about such things! You should be proud of him for helping his sister and being a good brother! But here you are judging and already a not so important person and his life and already questioning him and wants to separate a sibling based on your insecurity. 2
Roswell91 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 15 hours ago, diana9 said: I recently met a guy and we hung out couple of times and last time I was at his flat, and I noticed some girly stuff and children toys and he said that he is living with his sister and her child on weekends. That was strange to me because his sister has her own flat. I've also saw child's drawings where she draw her mother, herself and her uncle, and wrote my mummy, me and my uncle. But still, I am wondering if she has her own flat why are they living together on weekends? Just ask him. If you find it odd. Hopefully the confusion will be cleared up in seconds
alphamale Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 i would try to ascertain that she really is his sister, she may be a lover
Author diana9 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, alphamale said: i would try to ascertain that she really is his sister, she may be a lover And what about drawings me, mummy and my uncle? Why do you think that?
elaine567 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 1 minute ago, alphamale said: i would try to ascertain that she really is his sister, she may be a lover This is the real problem. "uncle" can be used as a term for Mommy's boyfriend.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 Are you suspicious it's actually his wife and daughter, OP? Or that he's too close to his sister for your liking?
Author diana9 Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 I don't mind if brothers and sisters are close, It isn't the problem I would be glad if someone takes care of his family. I am a little suspicious that it can be his wife. He said that she lives with her daughter at his place during the weekends because during the week she takes her to the kindergarten, and I forgot that I saw in his flat that he has paper on fridge with kingergarten daily activities. Also I had a feeling when I was ready to go home, that he went into the room to check If I left something behind.
smackie9 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 If she is there on the weekends, suggest bringing dinner and meeting her. If he gets all defensive and flustered make a break for it. 1
lurker74 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 Sure, maybe he's married or maybe he is screwing his sister but the most likely answer is that he is telling the truth. But just cut it off. The guy is supposedly doing something pretty tame - living with his sister and niece/nephew on weekend - but you suspect he is married or something even after he told you the story. If you're going to not trust someone this much after "hanging out a couple times" then just end it because it's going nowhere.
poppyfields Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, smackie9 said: If she is there on the weekends, suggest bringing dinner and meeting her. If he gets all defensive and flustered make a break for it. Brilliant! OP, do this. And depending on how he responds, you will have your answer. All we can do is speculate. Also, what might be more troubling is not whether or not his sister and daughter live with him on weekends, but that you're so suspicious about it. If you are feeling this way after only hanging out a couple of times, this may not be the right situation for you.
elaine567 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 40 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Also, what might be more troubling is not whether or not his sister and daughter live with him on weekends, but that you're so suspicious about it. Not trusting though seems to be par for the course, too many people in "complicated" situations are out to trap the unwary...
kendahke Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 18 hours ago, diana9 said: I am wondering if she has her own flat why are they living together on weekends? Well have you asked him why she's there on the weekends? There are a gazillion reasonable reasons why she and her child's things are there--and that's their family business. Could be her partner's got covid and she's keeping herself and her child from it; could be her partner and her are going through a rough patch and she needs space. Could be the flat got flooded from a broken pipe and the floors need fixing. None of it requires suspicion on your part.
elaine567 Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 9 minutes ago, kendahke said: None of it requires suspicion on your part. The problem being she doesn't know if the woman is actually the sister...
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