Quest2 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I don't know where to start, i am upset, wasn't sure if i wanted to post, me and husband been together 8 years and married 6 months , last sep H has an affair, he ends work on eachother get counseled , then get married then found out OW had C she says it's his, he denies it I know OW didn't know it then but now I do , how i found out say his car by their house I knew it was only one apt where women around our age lived went and knocked on the door, after no one answered i left he came home i act like I knew he then confessed, he told me he was going out with friends came home everynight, still made love alot, no money was being spent I'm in charge of the money in house, so I really didn't think Just happened to see his car where it didn't belong I go back to house while he was at work, knocked on the door the mother and sister and OW , was all there I asked if he was sleeping with anyone there , they all said no, i went alone to , even though they didn't admit he did, he ended we move on then we get married , 2 months go by then the girl mother tells my neighbor to tell me that my husband has had a C, then i go confront him he said it could be he used no protection, we have no kids, then he said only if the C was born at 6 months , so she comes we asked for a paternity test , she said okay but then we never see her , yesterday she goes to his job asks him to sigh some papers , he thens tells her to talk to me, he won't sigh nothing unless im present and I read through it , I get there she tries to leave, she bumps into me before she could make it to her car, She tells me that she doesnt have papers then gets angry, and says that why you have no kids, i have his first C, that's why he cheated on you with me, I said yes I am mad look at you, he could have done better i didn't think it was her whom he cheated with , because of the way she looked , I try to stay calm , I tell her DNA, NC we'll pay whatever CS determines , she then tries to get violet with me , saying that i am the reason for him not wanting the child, then she leaves we have not seen her since and she doesnt know his last name , i am mad sorry if this is all crazy, thinking off right now, She came to his job wanting $for C and agree to stay away if he gives her money for C, i am a wreak any advice?
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I tell her DNA, NC we'll pay whatever CS determines Retain a lawyer ASAP, and let your lawyer know about her threats as well so that he/she can take care of that for you. There is no reason whatsoever that you have to deal with this woman or her family. Period. All interaction from here on out can be done entirely through your lawyer.
legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Stick to your guns! You sound like you have a nice relationship with your H, and you have been very supportive and understanding of him. He knows it! Make her to take DNA test and go from there. Sounds to me like she is not so sure it's really your Hs child.... If she refuses to, I would talk to the police about what to do if she keeps on coming around. Good luck, keep us posted!
whichwayisup Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Yup, get a lawyer and get the PROOF you need to show if this baby is his or not. Notice how she has $$ on her mind?? Not that coming to you both saying the baby is his and she wants him to be a part of the child's life. IT's all about the money...My best bet is this kid isn't his and that's why she's disappeared. Definatey keep your wits about you, and especially INFRONT OF THE OW make sure you and your husband LOOK together and be a team. Play the part. ... Even if you're pissed at him, never let the OW see you with the guard down and vunerable. She will use it against you. Good luck and keep posting!
Author Quest2 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 Thank you guys for the response, Is it possible to get a restraining order, I don't know her full name H doesn't know either OW didn't know his full name either how could you sleep with someone and not know there full name around her we mostly go by nicknames. I am so angry and I'm not saying this to be mean it's true this woman is maybe a 2, it hurts to see her , it's makes me feel low like do he think that I'm on that same level not saying I'm a model , If I was ever as stupid as H I would have least chosen someone better than H, i don't know I just feel bad I'm trying not to let it show easier said than done, pray for me again thanks
newbby Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 understand youre in pain. she probably is too. i would say she is hurt your h wants nothing to do with her and baby and the money thing was just an excuse to see if he cared. he proved he didnt. that is why you havent heard from her. she is licking her wounds and trying to get over it, she may come back in the future for money or she may not, but its quite fair enough if she does, after all he did father her child.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 You will have to have documentation of her behaviors before a RO is considered. When you retain a lawyer, ask him/her about this and ask if they can send the woman a strongly worded warning, followed by action should she not heed that warning.
Author Quest2 Posted October 12, 2005 Author Posted October 12, 2005 understand youre in pain. she probably is too. i would say she is hurt your h wants nothing to do with her and baby and the money thing was just an excuse to see if he cared. he proved he didnt. that is why you havent heard from her. she is licking her wounds and trying to get over it, she may come back in the future for money or she may not, but its quite fair enough if she does, after all he did father her child. H did that and we don't know because she's refusing dna, it's not fair for her to come to me I didn't sleep with her, she knew about me, he didn't lie from her words, so i don't give a jack about OW or her C, We will suffer (money loss), if she didn't know about me and wasn't a B****, It would be different, How could she be hurt women like this it's crazy if i would expect it if i was in this situation , I almost was when I was younger, didn't think it was worth it , so I didn't go there
newbby Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 H did that and we don't know because she's refusing dna, it's not fair for her to come to me I didn't sleep with her, she knew about me, he didn't lie from her words, so i don't give a jack about OW or her C, We will suffer (money loss), if she didn't know about me and wasn't a B****, It would be different, How could she be hurt women like this it's crazy if i would expect it if i was in this situation , I almost was when I was younger, didn't think it was worth it , so I didn't go there you are correct that she should not be coming to you, it is not your responsibility and nor should it be, however, from what you have said, she went to your h and tried to leave when you arrived. also if you accept your husband back with all his mistakes, the ow is one of the mistakes you will have to accept. he also should accept it, it is really unfair of him to be cold to this ow now. not unfair of you, but, unfair of him. i am sure it must be really difficult to work through all of this stuff, but, the ow is a person too and she cannot just be swept under the carpet. maybe you think she should expect it, but, then your h too should expect if he plays with womens hearts they may get upset and if he sleeps with a woman she may get pregnant.
Maria46 Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Does look like she is seeing $$ signs. But, to get child support, or should I say to prove paternity, there needs to be a DNA test, cut and dried. Didn't we just see in the news where, Amber Frey (Scott Peterson's OW) had been receiving child support for one of her children from the wrong man?
quest2sorrydidntlog Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 she went to your h and tried to leave when you arrived. *not hard enough, she's trying to force contact, she knew I was coming she said she had papers for him to sigh, if i don't read it he can't sigh it, she had no papers that's why she was trying to leave it is really unfair of him to be cold to this ow now. *If it acts like a wh***you should get treated like one the ow is a person too and she cannot just be swept under the carpet. *she might as well be, while she waits on the check, that's all she getting maybe you think she should expect it, but, then your h too should expect if he plays with womens hearts they may get upset and if he sleeps with a woman she may get pregnant. *H was very stupid, ow was to, she was after money, she can have her little check, she should know that CS isn't enough to support a C, she'll be struggling with two kids now, not me we'll be going shopping, she'll be changing diapers alone, she'll have to get up in the middle of the night while we sleep peacefully, H's getting his too, but it would never be as bad as what she's getting, telling our neighbors all proud, it's more stuff didn't want to write it all, *do feel a little bit sorry for C, I was visiting relativew/c,
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 ohhh i see, she got pregnant because she wanted money! i wonder why she didnt consider being a surrogate... remember, if it acts like a lying, devious, selfish, affair seeking cakeman, it probably is one....
Author Quest2 Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 ohhh i see, she got pregnant because she wanted money! i wonder why she didnt consider being a surrogate... remember, if it acts like a lying, devious, selfish, affair seeking cakeman, it probably is one.... I know that H is a liar, OW wouldn't think of that ( becoming a surrogate) more goverment money for her , then CS, I know her landlord , do you know how many women have kids for money, aid, where I live it's common She didn't ask him to spend time, or visits, she asked for money, remember my first post her, her mother , and others denied it, am I suppose to care please I don't care me and H are working on things , it's going well, it's going to bother me, for a while but I'll get over it,
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