girlnextdoor2020 Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 I've finally met a nice guy on an online dating app but I'm not sure if he is interested. We started talking and conversation was flowing since the very start, lots of banter and he came across as a really nice guy, a different vibe from all the other weirdos. He called me and invited me for breakfast near the beach and a few days before we met he started texting less than usual, but I didn't give it much thought. So we went on the date and it was really nice, again lots of banter and he seemed a really nice guy again. I didn't feel very physically attracted to him to be honest, but I really liked his energy and personality. So I wasn't even sure if he liked me, and if he was going to text again, but he did continue texting but a lot less now. Our date was a week ago, he hasn't mentioned meeting again, he texts a lot less and although it seems he doesn't want to end contact, he is just texting the bare minimum to keep contact. I realised after the date I was indeed attracted to him, and would like to see him again, but his laid back behaviour is not a good thing to me. It makes me think he is either not interested, he is dating someone else, don't know. I also do not want to make a move and look silly. Any advice? Thank you.
smackie9 Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 Did you tell him you had a good time and would like to see him again? 1
Hopeful30 Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 21 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: I've finally met a nice guy on an online dating app but I'm not sure if he is interested. We started talking and conversation was flowing since the very start, lots of banter and he came across as a really nice guy, a different vibe from all the other weirdos. He called me and invited me for breakfast near the beach and a few days before we met he started texting less than usual, but I didn't give it much thought. So we went on the date and it was really nice, again lots of banter and he seemed a really nice guy again. I didn't feel very physically attracted to him to be honest, but I really liked his energy and personality. So I wasn't even sure if he liked me, and if he was going to text again, but he did continue texting but a lot less now. Our date was a week ago, he hasn't mentioned meeting again, he texts a lot less and although it seems he doesn't want to end contact, he is just texting the bare minimum to keep contact. I realised after the date I was indeed attracted to him, and would like to see him again, but his laid back behaviour is not a good thing to me. It makes me think he is either not interested, he is dating someone else, don't know. I also do not want to make a move and look silly. Any advice? Thank you. He's not that into you. When men want something, they go for it (something I love about the male gender). Being incessantly poked in the hip by ex boyfriends comes to mind. They have no shame. 5
Mystery4u Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 From everything you have posted, very much sounds like he is not interested.
Roswell91 Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 1 hour ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: I've finally met a nice guy on an online dating app but I'm not sure if he is interested. We started talking and conversation was flowing since the very start, lots of banter and he came across as a really nice guy, a different vibe from all the other weirdos. He called me and invited me for breakfast near the beach and a few days before we met he started texting less than usual, but I didn't give it much thought. So we went on the date and it was really nice, again lots of banter and he seemed a really nice guy again. I didn't feel very physically attracted to him to be honest, but I really liked his energy and personality. So I wasn't even sure if he liked me, and if he was going to text again, but he did continue texting but a lot less now. Our date was a week ago, he hasn't mentioned meeting again, he texts a lot less and although it seems he doesn't want to end contact, he is just texting the bare minimum to keep contact. I realised after the date I was indeed attracted to him, and would like to see him again, but his laid back behaviour is not a good thing to me. It makes me think he is either not interested, he is dating someone else, don't know. I also do not want to make a move and look silly. Any advice? Thank you. Stop texting him and see what he does. It will be a good test to see if he's actually interested. Also after a date if you enjoyed yourself and like the guy, you are meant to say you had a great time etc.. so he knows you are still interested. 3
Vitaminka Posted July 3, 2020 Posted July 3, 2020 (edited) Well, why don't you ask him out if interested? What is the worse that can happen? He might say yes, which would be great. Or he might come up with some super lame excuse why he cannot meet you. If that happens, no biggie, move on. Don't chase after him if he says no. When I first met my fiance, I could see that he wasn't that interested. He didn't text me at all after our first date. At least your guy texts you from time to time, which is good. But I took a chance, something I've never done before, and invited him to a second date. He said yes to my surprise (probably had nothing else going on, I never asked him), and here we are, three and a half years later, engaged. Have I not contacted him, it's highly unlikely that I would ever hear from him again. Edited July 3, 2020 by Vitaminka more stuff to write 1
Roswell91 Posted July 4, 2020 Posted July 4, 2020 11 minutes ago, Vitaminka said: Well, why don't you ask him out if interested? What is the worse that can happen? He might say yes, which would be great. Or he might come up with some super lame excuse why he cannot meet you. If that happens, no biggie, move on. Don't chase after him if he says no. When I first met my fiance, I could see that he wasn't that interested. He didn't text me at all after our first date. At least your guy texts you from time to time, which is good. But I took a chance, something I've never done before, and invited him to a second date. He said yes to my surprise (probably had nothing else going on, I never asked him), and here we are, three and a half years later, engaged. Have I not contacted him, it's highly unlikely that I would ever hear from him again. Wow. So things really can turn around . Normally people are quick to say the guy isnt interested on here and the woman would move on.
Giovane Posted July 4, 2020 Posted July 4, 2020 5 hours ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: I also do not want to make a move and look silly. I don't understand why you think asking him to meet again would make you look silly. You may get rejected, sure, that risk is part of the dating game, but it's not "silly" to ask someone you are attracted to to meet. Maybe his head is full of youtube videos, books and forums telling him that "the ball is in your court now" and he's waiting for some signal from you... 2
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted July 4, 2020 Author Posted July 4, 2020 (edited) Guys thank you for your replies. I am a bit old school and I like when a guy shows interest and takes charge, is very sexy. I'm not referring to those weirdos who love bomb or are so desperate to get laid that won't stop contacting you, but a normal guy who shows interest. Who simply says "I would like to see you again", or ask if I want to. I love that. So showing interest and asking out a guy who is not showing any interest is a no no from me. Not because I am scared of rejection, but because what's the point if he's not that into me!? I better move on and talk to other guys I think. Edited July 4, 2020 by girlnextdoor2020 2
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2020 Posted July 4, 2020 I don't think he's interested, either. I would keep looking.
scooby-philly Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 Hey may have been interested, but if he picked up on the initial vibe that YOU weren't attracted to him, he may have been keeping in contact waiting on YOU to change the vibe. Sure, men do and men with hurt pasts need to learn to go after what(who) they want.....but if I was on a first or second date with someone and I picked up on a vibe that she kinda liked me but wasn't that interested I may back off until the woman says/does something to change that vibe. So keep that in mind for the future.
Haerts Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 I'd say he's interested to some extent. If I were you, I'd try to ask him out on a second date. It's too soon to jump to conclusions.
Dis Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 On 7/3/2020 at 2:58 PM, girlnextdoor2020 said: I've finally met a nice guy on an online dating app but I'm not sure if he is interested. We started talking and conversation was flowing since the very start, lots of banter and he came across as a really nice guy, a different vibe from all the other weirdos. He called me and invited me for breakfast near the beach and a few days before we met he started texting less than usual, but I didn't give it much thought. So we went on the date and it was really nice, again lots of banter and he seemed a really nice guy again. I didn't feel very physically attracted to him to be honest, but I really liked his energy and personality. So I wasn't even sure if he liked me, and if he was going to text again, but he did continue texting but a lot less now. Our date was a week ago, he hasn't mentioned meeting again, he texts a lot less and although it seems he doesn't want to end contact, he is just texting the bare minimum to keep contact. I realised after the date I was indeed attracted to him, and would like to see him again, but his laid back behaviour is not a good thing to me. It makes me think he is either not interested, he is dating someone else, don't know. I also do not want to make a move and look silly. Any advice? Thank you. He probably met someone when the communication started to decline but wanted to keep you as option B and still does I've had dates with guys I wasn't attracted to upon meeting but later tried to convince myself to be attracted to them because I was tired of dating. If you were really attracted you would've been from the get go He's not feeling it which when you think about it isn't a loss Find a guy who makes an effort and someone you're really attracted to
JTSW Posted July 7, 2020 Posted July 7, 2020 On 7/4/2020 at 9:50 AM, girlnextdoor2020 said: So showing interest and asking out a guy who is not showing any interest is a no no from me. Not because I am scared of rejection, but because what's the point if he's not that into me!? In all fairness, you havent showed a great deal of interest in him either. He made the first move and asked you out for breakfast so he was clearly interested then. Like someone said here, he likely picked up on your lack of interest and backed off a bit. He probably feels just as confused about you as you are about him. Get with the times and ask him out for lunch or something. You can't leave it to the guy to do all the chasing these days. You have to make some effort too.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted July 11, 2020 Author Posted July 11, 2020 Guys, we messaged each other a week ago, and he asked if I wanted to go on a dog walk anytime soon, and I said yes I do want to! After this, he messaged once and I messaged once too, and since then, nothing. I haven't heard from him in a week now. The last message was mine. So, I'm gonna assume that he isn't that into me or he met someone else. Because I said yes to go on a second date, and he went silent. I'm not interested anymore now.
JTSW Posted July 12, 2020 Posted July 12, 2020 He's probably thinking the same thing about you. Neither of you are making any effort. He made more effort though because he's the one that made those two moves to interact. Text him and ask how he is and what time he would like to go on a dog walk.
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