Has your partner changed you for the better? How have you changed them?

[regine_phalange]

Morning coffee thoughts...

Is it true that love can change us for the better? Or do you believe that people don't change? Is there something in your partner that triggered positive changes in you? Were you aware of this happening, or you woke up one day thinking 'wow'? Have they shared with you how they have changed with you, or have you witnessed profound changes?

 I'm curious to hear your experiences!

I'll make a start. In my case, my partner took me out of my shell, without meaning to. It may be the first time in my love life that I am vulnerable and open. I think it's because he's very calm and reserved. He has also instilled in me a greater curiosity to see the world and to travel.

On the other hand he's said that he was always used to getting what he wanted immediately, but with me he discovered that beung patient and steadfast can  make good things happen. 

 

[Gaeta]

I don't think one can change or make a person change who they are at their core. I think when we are  in a healthy relationship it allows us to be the best we can be. The best we can be is already in us, it will blossom with the right person or remain burried with the wrong person. 

When I met my bf 5 years ago he was opinionated, he still is but at least now he's aware he's opinionated lol. He met me I was bossy, I am still bossy but now I'm aware of it so I'm careful how I communicate in our relationship. Your boyfriend discovered that being patient has it's reward, he's still an impatient man but he's willing to tame it down for you. 

 

Edited July 3, 2020 by Gaeta

[chillii]

Yeah she has , absolutely so. l'd have no idea how to explain it but we just have a way of growing . And although l have no interest in bettering myself in general l'm quite happy and l have zero interest in being perfect how boring , l could've certainly used some polishing in the relationship department though. l dunno she just has this real hassle free but never boring way of not mincing words or opinions , ideas, feelings , thoughts, anything. and l love it . l always know where we stand on anything and everything and at the same time when two people are true that can go both ways not just hers . Hard to explain but we just kinda help each other to look after each other so to speak  yet hassle free , well mostly , but as l say never , ever , boring. lt's pretty cool.

 

[SumGuy]

Yes.  One sure sign she is a keeper    More precisely we bring out the better in both of us, not so much changing who we are at the core.

[Prudence V]

On 7/3/2020 at 8:33 AM, regine_phalange said:

Is there something in your partner that triggered positive changes in you? Were you aware of this happening, or you woke up one day thinking 'wow'? Have they shared with you how they have changed with you, or have you witnessed profound changes?

I’ve certainly changed! I’ve learned to trust, to compromise, to share my space. I’ve learned to love, to invest in a future rather than just living in the present. 
 

Has he changed? More, reverted. He was a different person during his previous marriage, his family said they didn’t know him anymore. He was stressed, depressed, not really there. Now he’s more like he used to be, before that relationship, from what they say. Open, fun, connected, happy, living fully. And that’s pretty cool. 

[regine_phalange]

30 minutes ago, Prudence V said:

I’ve certainly changed! I’ve learned to trust, to compromise, to share my space. I’ve learned to love, to invest in a future rather than just living in the present. 
 

Has he changed? More, reverted. He was a different person during his previous marriage, his family said they didn’t know him anymore. He was stressed, depressed, not really there. Now he’s more like he used to be, before that relationship, from what they say. Open, fun, connected, happy, living fully. And that’s pretty cool. 

There's nothing more precious than him being able to be himself around you! Maybe the potential is there and is just cultivated (or not) within our relationships. 

[snowcones]

Great question.  I am single now, but I will take a stab at it.  My ex-husband definitely changed me for the better, but there was a lot to learn from him and I'm glad I took the challenge.   There was a lot he could have learned from me too, but he didn't take the challenge because he was too egotistical to learn from me. He looked down on me (he looks down on everyone).  So I learned what I could and left.   The man I was in a relationship with post-marriage I learned nothing from and I doubt he learned anything from me either.  Of course, I much prefer learning something than not.  At least you can look back on your relationship and feel that it was one of substance.

[Snow_Queen]

Back when I was single, many men would state right away how they wanted a woman that would push them to be a better person. Now, I don’t have the time nor energy to change someone. I think this is a common misconception people have regarding your question.

However, I’ve always believed the right person will bring out the best in you. My husband is so good to me that I want to be just as good. I see him as a hard worker, loyal person, and excellent father. It’s inspirational and makes me want to be on that level. I want to do things that make him feel loved, appreciated, and for him to feel his partner puts forth an effort to maintain the relationship. He never once asked any of this from me.
 

This has evolved into me taking on new challenges I normally would have scoffed at doing, leaning new things, being more open and communicative, etc. That’s the best way to explain it from my perspective.

 

Edited July 8, 2020 by Snow_Queen

[d0nnivain]

He made me quieter & more thoughtful.  I was always afraid of silence & babbled to fill them

I opened him up more & gave him a safe space to talk & express his feelings.