sexiibabee Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 well my bf and i have been together for a lil over 9 months. especially recently he has been so hard on me. he constantly tells me i'm being sneaky and that i try to talk to other guys. i dont even have a phone. yes i'm online but i don't chat. i come to LS because i feel better doing so. the social websites where you can add friends and so on--i deleted. just today he keeps telling me he knows how i am and what's frustrating is that i love him and i only want to be with him. would it be a good thing to tell him i need space. he is really bringing me down and it's hard because i work 7 days a week and i'm in college. of course i wouldnt try to talk to other people, i just don't want to be treated like ****. i also am scared that if i were to mention it, he'd think it as a gesture of me wanting to break up OR see other people. i just can't take the accusations i really have no defense. opinions??
d'Arthez Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 From your post I cannot deduce a single positive reason as to why you are with him. He is abusive of you, by not allowing you to talk to other people, be online whatever. Hello, you have a life. A life, and that may actually involve people other than your boyfriend. It seems to be a strange concept that you have a life. Probably your boyfriend is not as strict with himself. The only thing he does is bringing you down. The same thing a rock does, if you would tie it on your feet, and drop out of a plane, or from the top of a steep mountain. And at least you could not say of a rock, that it is trying to control every possible interaction you might have. And a rock does not have issues. Your boyfriend probably does, as his behavior is far from normal. You might desperately try to convince yourself it is, but it is not. His behavior won´t change, and will only deteriorate if you do not stand up for yourself. Take a break? Yes, if you would not opt for a break up that is. The break up is what I would recommend. Whatever you do, that seems to be a threat to his near total control over you, he won´t like. Simple as that .
Author sexiibabee Posted October 10, 2005 Author Posted October 10, 2005 thanks. no i won't break up with him unless it really got out of hand. i do believe we need a break though. the control thing has gotten way out of hand. at first it was cute but then it became a problem when issues were directed at me. it's hard to tell myself to have some space from the man i love. but then again, he's changed and not the man i fell in love with.
d'Arthez Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 You have to be aware of that, that if you get more and more isolated from people, as you are not allowed to talk to them, the harder it becomes to break up, if he continues to behave that way. If it goes on for a long time, you may suddenly find yourself isolated from your friends and loved ones. at first it was cute but then it became a problem when issues were directed at me. His issues won't go away by blaming you. And I am sad to say that people have the ability to rationalize a lot of abuse as 'love.'
Author sexiibabee Posted October 10, 2005 Author Posted October 10, 2005 oh my gosh. i think you're right. i do have a mild sort of an obsessive compulsiveness about me too so that makes sense. and i have distanced myself from almost everyone i know. i'm thinking there is going to be a break up tonight. it hurts but unless he is able to treat me like i deserve to be treated i can't be with him.
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