Dis Posted July 1, 2020 Posted July 1, 2020 If you're already anxious think about the probability of him meeting up with his ex and hooking up when you're not around... Since it was so easy for him to do before Dating is tough enough never mind dating a dude with an ex lingering around
Dis Posted July 1, 2020 Posted July 1, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Haerts said: You guys are absolutely correct. I had some time to meditate and think about it all myself and I decided to keep everything very casual from now on. I had even stopped using the dating apps and stuff 'cause I wanted to focus on him. I'm generally like that when I meet someone I like and I don't mind if they're seeing other people if they choose to - not in this case though that there's an ex in the picture. I'm not sure you're capable of seeing him casually considering your growing feelings... and there's nothing wrong with that I was never a casual dater myself. My heart gets in too deep for that Why don't you just call it a day with this guy so you can focus on finding someone who's actually a good idea for you...you know he'll take up all the space in your head anyway Edited July 1, 2020 by Disillusionment373
Maldives Posted July 1, 2020 Posted July 1, 2020 The saying goes that the universe repeats the same lesson till we have learnt the lesson...keep your eyes open
Author Haerts Posted July 1, 2020 Author Posted July 1, 2020 4 hours ago, Disillusionment373 said: I'm not sure you're capable of seeing him casually considering your growing feelings... and there's nothing wrong with that I was never a casual dater myself. My heart gets in too deep for that Why don't you just call it a day with this guy so you can focus on finding someone who's actually a good idea for you...you know he'll take up all the space in your head anyway Well, after I posted here I started to see things from a new perspective. I know that I usually fall way too fast for people who I reaaally get along with. I'm very emotional, but I also use my logic in most cases. And I'm not really one to flog a dead horse. The previous guy I was having feelings for, whenever I realized he was backing off, I did the same and it was all alright. A bit frustrating 'cause why would someone make me have feelings for them just to discard me afterwards? But I just moved on. And now we're actually friends. So that's exactly what I'm doing now: backing off. I just went on a date with someone else I've been avoiding (cause of this other guy) and it was amazing. He didn't even cross my mind during it. It's all good, this thread made me see that: 1) I shouldn't be putting so much expectations onto someone I just met; 2) No matter what, I should learn how to take things slowly. And I'm fine with seeing him again, but I'm very aware of what could happen so I'm not letting myself get all swept up again. 2
Dis Posted July 2, 2020 Posted July 2, 2020 17 hours ago, Haerts said: Well, after I posted here I started to see things from a new perspective. I know that I usually fall way too fast for people who I reaaally get along with. I'm very emotional, but I also use my logic in most cases. And I'm not really one to flog a dead horse. The previous guy I was having feelings for, whenever I realized he was backing off, I did the same and it was all alright. A bit frustrating 'cause why would someone make me have feelings for them just to discard me afterwards? But I just moved on. And now we're actually friends. So that's exactly what I'm doing now: backing off. I just went on a date with someone else I've been avoiding (cause of this other guy) and it was amazing. He didn't even cross my mind during it. It's all good, this thread made me see that: 1) I shouldn't be putting so much expectations onto someone I just met; 2) No matter what, I should learn how to take things slowly. And I'm fine with seeing him again, but I'm very aware of what could happen so I'm not letting myself get all swept up again. So glad to hear you had an awesome date with someone new! I know how hard OLD is. If I had to do it again it would break my heart but it works for some. All good realizations you're having. It just takes a lot of time and effort to implement them. I never perfected it. Good luck with the new guy!
Author Haerts Posted July 6, 2020 Author Posted July 6, 2020 Turns out I went on a 4th, 5th and 6th date with the guy I created this thread for. The weekend was absolutely perfect... ...til last night. He got a huge e-mail from his ex where she mentions all she's going to change to get him back. He replied her and also met her today. He told me that himself. He made it clear to me that there's no chance he's going back to her, but he feels worried because she's alone, depressed, she's also older and has pretty much no friends. She knows we're dating. The problem is: she wants him back. She's clearly not ready for a friendship. So I sent him a message now saying that I can't go on if he's still seeing his ex. And now my anxiety struck again. He keeps on repeating that he has not slept with his ex after he met me and he's being honest when he says he doesn't want her back, but it's in my head. I don't know what to do now. Apparently he's trustworthy and I like that he tells me what's going on, but I don't know what to do. Any help? Should I let him go? Should I keep on trying?
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