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Posted (edited)

I know you're supposed to let things happen organically but what is a good frequency to talk to someone when you're long-distance?

I have been in communication with my ex highschool boyfriend but we live on opposite coasts (though I plan to relocate nearer in the future but that's unrelated to him and just a personal preference).

He's suggested coming to visit me for two weeks but I'm not sure how I feel about that right now given the distance and because right now I am heavily invested in school. 

Though we do have plans to meet up in the Fall.

The whole long-distance thing is new to me so I'm just trying to work out how I feel about it.

  

Edited by Alpaca
Posted

I write people when I have something to say. Otherwise it becomes like a job and I develop a growing reluctance to write.

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Posted

It's going to vary from person to person.  

I did an LDR in 1980s.  We wrote daily letters to each other & had 1 call for 1 hour on Wednesday night after 11 pm when the rates went down. 

Now there are so many options.  I'd probably set up 1-2 video calls / dates per week & leave the rest of it casual, as needed at a frequency that makes you both comfortable. 

As for seeing each other in a bi-coastal relationship that is going to depend on Covid.  There may be self quarantine restrictions.  Will you have the ability to isolate after returning?  

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Posted

With my girlfriend who I was in a LDR with, we used to call each other every other day but text every day.

 

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Posted
14 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

It's going to vary from person to person.  

I did an LDR in 1980s.  We wrote daily letters to each other & had 1 call for 1 hour on Wednesday night after 11 pm when the rates went down. 

Now there are so many options.  I'd probably set up 1-2 video calls / dates per week & leave the rest of it casual, as needed at a frequency that makes you both comfortable. 

As for seeing each other in a bi-coastal relationship that is going to depend on Covid.  There may be self quarantine restrictions.  Will you have the ability to isolate after returning?  

That sounds about on par with what we've been doing. 

His schedule always changes and it's hard for me during the week since I am busy with school/work so we usually touch base throughout the week via text and then talk on the weekends.

Yes, I have the ability to isolate after returning.  

He's offered to fly out to see me sooner but I think the Fall would be more appropriate but who knows now if that will even be a possibility.

I enjoy talking with him I'm just trying to be realistic about it with everything that's going on.

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