caiteliz Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now, and we've been living together for about a year. I've never had a problem with him looking at porn when I'm not home, but this morning I think he took it too far. I've been feeling depressed lately and haven't been sexually aroused. This morning we woke up and he asked me if I was ok. I shruged my shoulders and said i was especially depressed this morning. He then asked me if I wanted to get him off (insensitive????). I said no, i wasn't in the mood. He then left the bedroom and got on the computer. A couple of minutes later I walked out to find him masturbating to porn. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there shocked and couldn't move. He then got up and asked if I wanted to help. I said no, and he replied with "Well then could you not hover over me while I'm doing it". I ran into the bathroom and started crying. He finished, and came in and yelled at me for trying to control him. Am I totally irrational, or would anyone else have the same reaction? I really need help with this, as he believes he did nothing wrong and threatened to not come home tonight because he was so mad. I think I am in the right here, but please help.
Pendawn Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now, and we've been living together for about a year. I've never had a problem with him looking at porn when I'm not home, but this morning I think he took it too far. I've been feeling depressed lately and haven't been sexually aroused. This morning we woke up and he asked me if I was ok. I shruged my shoulders and said i was especially depressed this morning. He then asked me if I wanted to get him off (insensitive????). I said no, i wasn't in the mood. He then left the bedroom and got on the computer. A couple of minutes later I walked out to find him masturbating to porn. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there shocked and couldn't move. He then got up and asked if I wanted to help. I said no, and he replied with "Well then could you not hover over me while I'm doing it". I ran into the bathroom and started crying. He finished, and came in and yelled at me for trying to control him. Am I totally irrational, or would anyone else have the same reaction? I really need help with this, as he believes he did nothing wrong and threatened to not come home tonight because he was so mad. I think I am in the right here, but please help. IMo your depression is making this wqhole situation worse, but logically I certianly would have NO PROBLEM with what your bf did. He was horny, you weren't in the modd, he didn't pester you but went to deal with it himself. And that makes you angry? I could understand your reaction if he'd just turned YOu down for sex and then gone and done this, but not the other way round. I think your bf deserves an apology for your reaction and you need to sit down and explain to him how you've been feeling and why you've gone off sex so he knows it's not him.
civettuolo Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I agree with above poster . Your depression caused you to make a big deal out of nothing. He was repectful of you,by not harrassing you for sex when you werent in the mood,so he took care of himself. IMO you over reacted.
Skeered Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Agree with both these posters here..I understand you are depressed and not in the mood but you can't stop him from being in the mood. And I have been on the opposite end of this where I was in the mood but he chose porn instead of me, now that's a kick right to the head after 10 years of marriage. Oh and then when you catch him on the phone with a woman on the other end takin care of himself, that's when it really hurts. Plain and simple he was just takin care of things to not bug you. He alerted you of his mood prior to takin care of it. It's all good. But it sounds like you need to get a handle on your depression before it causes a really big problem. IMO
SuperMonk Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 The dude has no self control, man I'd never jerk off porn in front of my source of pleasure. I'd just keep it quiet and then whack it off some other time.
sexiibabee Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 yeup supermonk thats what my boyfriend does. But then it's kind of sad when he'd rather do that more than be around me.
SuperMonk Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 yeup supermonk thats what my boyfriend does. But then it's kind of sad when he'd rather do that more than be around me. Like I said earlier, bad sex or lack of sex is a good indication of bigger issues. I've had sex with a girls where they just lied down there or never initiated any sexual touchings (such as massaging my gentle parts.) I come to realize that these girls take a passive role in relationships, Sorry but that just don't work for me. Don't overlook the bad sex sis, yo. I know when a girl is totally hot and I totally dig her personality as she digs me too, I make love like a woman, all over her smooth body and pleasuring her in all the orificess
Topper Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I hope you are seeing someone about your depression. If not then get some help as soon as possible.
slubberdegullion Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 yeup supermonk thats what my boyfriend does. But then it's kind of sad when he'd rather do that more than be around me. If the dude would rather diddle himself while looking at bad internet porn than be with a beautiful, warm, loving and willing partner, the he's got issues... IMHO.
Skeered Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Not to jack the thread...but that's what I said to my ex...if your so much better at pleasing yourself than you don't need me...seeeeeeee yaaaaaaaa...and now I have a BF that can't keep his hands off..
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