Why hasn't he respond to me regardless of my response?

[rainbow12]

9 hours ago, basil67 said:

A quick question on logistics: if he hasn’t got time to text you, how will he have time to date you?   

Good point, but right now, I'm not thinking about anything more about him or anything, he hasn't texted me in the morning and like @poppyfields has said, he's lukewarm, if he was interested, he would of replied back to me sooner, regardless of his stressful work. So, I don't expect a happy ending on this one and not with anyone. So, that's it. 

[rainbow12]

9 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

Unfortunately people just ghost. It doesn't happen often where people are so considerate, that theyll send a parting message.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to ghost, that person would be ghosted and that's it, You won't care about other feelings, so his message was a parting message. 

[ExpatInItaly]

This is why it's important not to get attached before you meet the person and have spent ample time together offline. 

 

[Azincourt]

On 6/25/2020 at 1:29 PM, rainbow12 said:

I don't know if I'm paranoid or become too impatient but..I talk to this guy for about a week and a half, I like him and he text me sometimes first,  he sends me a video where he works and does show interest in speaking to me, he said's that he doesn't get much sleep because he got up at 4 and only had 4 hour sleep, he works all week and works night shifts, it was his turn to answer me, I weren't asking him a question in my last reponse only about what I was doing and told him to check out a comedy video of what I watched because it's funny, he left it for a day and hasn't responded since. I don't know if he will respond to me when he comes back from work, but he normally text me in the morning. I mean, should I ask him is he ok is he sleeping alright still? Or just wait for him to come to me. You know..I get he is much busier than me and earns a living than me but..I want to feel somewhat important, even if it's a tiny bit, it's hardly too much to ask.

I don't think he has much experience with women anyway because I had to ask him why he doesn't ask me many questions and he joke and then continue to ask me more questions about myself as what virtual friends or something should do. I just can't figure guys at or what their mindset is but I get paranoid and think what if..he's changed his mind and decides to try and be kind about it by ghosting me when I never ask a question or what if he decided to talk to someone else because he's not interested in me well that's his choice but I'm just baffled.  I believe that guys only stay interested for a short time that's why they ghost a lot of women, but then when I first started speaking to him, he did pause in his account because he said he likes to talk to one person at a time even before I said it's ok for him to talk to other girls because he has options and it's ok to multiple date.  What should I do? 

Maybe he doesn't like phones?

I have a phone that was launched 20 years ago. 

I use it mostly for texting but even that, I hate to do.  I can go weeks without looking at my phone.  If you want a serious relationship with a guy like this you're going to have a hard time, and when a guy wakes up at 4 AM to work and only got 4 hours of sleep.. the last thing he wants to do is to talk on the phone, and even texting is too much of a hassle.  Night shifts are incredibly hard on someone's physical and mental help. 

He gotta make that bread. He gotta work or he will lose his job and with hundreds of millions around the world losing their jobs.  Yeah, his job is going to be his priority. I ghost women when I've been seeing them for like 2 weeks and it looks like sex isn't on the table anytime soon. Not sure if he's like that,  but I doubt he's ghosting you. He's just very busy at the moment. Maybe things will lighten up and he'll have time to talk more, dunno.

Only you can find that out by asking him.

[Roswell91]

5 hours ago, rainbow12 said:

Yeah, I mean, if you want to ghost, that person would be ghosted and that's it, You won't care about other feelings, so his message was a parting message. 

Not necessarily.

At least he had  the decency to reply to you. By ghosting  i mean they would completely ignore you regardless.

But i agree with poppy that he said he was busy but didnt try to engage you further by asking questions.

Its hard to tell. Maybe wait and see?

[Roswell91]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

Maybe he doesn't like phones?

I have a phone that was launched 20 years ago. 

I use it mostly for texting but even that, I hate to do.  I can go weeks without looking at my phone.  If you want a serious relationship with a guy like this you're going to have a hard time, and when a guy wakes up at 4 AM to work and only got 4 hours of sleep.. the last thing he wants to do is to talk on the phone, and even texting is too much of a hassle.  Night shifts are incredibly hard on someone's physical and mental help. 

He gotta make that bread. He gotta work or he will lose his job and with hundreds of millions around the world losing their jobs.  Yeah, his job is going to be his priority. I ghost women when I've been seeing them for like 2 weeks and it looks like sex isn't on the table anytime soon. Not sure if he's like that,  but I doubt he's ghosting you. He's just very busy at the moment. Maybe things will lighten up and he'll have time to talk more, dunno.

Only you can find that out by asking him.

There aren't  many young people who are not glued to their phones.

Even if they're not messaging and calling people, they will still be doing other things on them.

Its very unlikely a younger guy is going to dislike being on his phone.

Just saying, you have to look at the age of the person.

 

[Azincourt]

40 minutes ago, Roswell91 said:

There aren't  many young people who are not glued to their phones.

Even if they're not messaging and calling people, they will still be doing other things on them.

Its very unlikely a younger guy is going to dislike being on his phone.

Just saying, you have to look at the age of the person.

 

I'm not a young man. Sadly I'm already in my 30s, so what's left of my youth is rapidly dwindling, but when I was young, I rarely ever touched my phone, if ever if I could avoid it.  I know plenty of people who are like that, or at least I used to know. Those who are 18-25 these days are probably more into their phones than my generation of men, but still.

 

[Roswell91]

8 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

I'm not a young man. Sadly I'm already in my 30s, so what's left of my youth is rapidly dwindling, but when I was young, I rarely ever touched my phone, if ever if I could avoid it.  I know plenty of people who are like that, or at least I used to know. Those who are 18-25 these days are probably more into their phones than my generation of men, but still.

 

Fair enough

[rainbow12]

7 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

I'm not a young man. Sadly I'm already in my 30s, so what's left of my youth is rapidly dwindling, but when I was young, I rarely ever touched my phone, if ever if I could avoid it.  I know plenty of people who are like that, or at least I used to know. Those who are 18-25 these days are probably more into their phones than my generation of men, but still.

 

Try being 50's or 60's then you can say your youth has definitely dwindled away lol. 

[rainbow12]

1 hour ago, Roswell91 said:

Not necessarily.

At least he had  the decency to reply to you. By ghosting  i mean they would completely ignore you regardless.

But i agree with poppy that he said he was busy but didnt try to engage you further by asking questions.

Its hard to tell. Maybe wait and see?

Well, he's not going to contribute more questions because he works all week including night shifts, so, I left it there because he deserves a break. Yes, I will wait and see. 

[Roswell91]

1 minute ago, rainbow12 said:

Well, he's not going to contribute more questions because he works all week including night shifts, so, I left it there because he deserves a break. Yes, I will wait and see. 

Its too bad. 

 

 

[Versacehottie]

He probably shouldn't be trying to date if this is his schedule.  Sometimes people only find that out by trying to do it.  He could still be looking for the one person that makes him motivated enough to squeeze time out of his schedule for her OR using the app to connect here and there with girls so he FEELS like he is somewhat dating/talking to girls, gets female connection and an ego boost without really having to change much in his life because it's not a feasible possibility at the moment.

I would say also just for future that you would be unlikely to get "closure" in a situation like this.  Too little time, no real date.  He's bound to think fading away or not pursuing further means what it means (i would agree at this stage so far).  That you would like him to tell you he's no longer interested or not going to pursue a relationship or a date with you, just also goes into the category that your expectations are probably not realistic or calibrated to the norm with regards to this---and also that you are in effect "waiting".  It's a passive approach to your own life that is part and parcel of how you may have ended up in the situation.  It's more magnetic to be "not waiting".  Could explain more but yeah that's the basic.

[Roswell91]

1 hour ago, rainbow12 said:

Try being 50's or 60's then you can say your youth has definitely dwindled away lol. 

I was gonna say. 30s isnt  even old lol. 

[rainbow12]

3 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

He probably shouldn't be trying to date if this is his schedule.  Sometimes people only find that out by trying to do it.  He could still be looking for the one person that makes him motivated enough to squeeze time out of his schedule for her OR using the app to connect here and there with girls so he FEELS like he is somewhat dating/talking to girls, gets female connection and an ego boost without really having to change much in his life because it's not a feasible possibility at the moment.

I would say also just for future that you would be unlikely to get "closure" in a situation like this.  Too little time, no real date.  He's bound to think fading away or not pursuing further means what it means (i would agree at this stage so far).  That you would like him to tell you he's no longer interested or not going to pursue a relationship or a date with you, just also goes into the category that your expectations are probably not realistic or calibrated to the norm with regards to this---and also that you are in effect "waiting".  It's a passive approach to your own life that is part and parcel of how you may have ended up in the situation.  It's more magnetic to be "not waiting".  Could explain more but yeah that's the basic.

He has the decency to acknowledge me and still has after I mention my dog the day after.  He doesn't have to be the most talkative bubbly guy to me, as long as he makes little efforts and talks to me..that's what matters, I don't want him to change his online authentic self for me. He is who he is, just a decent guy who's life is busier than mine. He knows I go out a bunch more than him without doing the work so my life compares to his is made of rainbows and skittles in his eyes. Well, I really can't judge him. 

[Azincourt]

3 hours ago, Roswell91 said:

I was gonna say. 30s isnt  even old lol. 

It is, when you only want to date women who are 18-22, and while, because you've avoided alcohol, cigarettes, stress, drama, the sun(lots of sunscreen and baseball caps), and a life of intense manual labor, and due to a miracle, you still look like you are in your early 20s(according to several plastic surgeons I talked about fixing any visible flaw), you kinda start feeling weird for dating women whose ''sex idols'' are the kids from One Direction.

The women in my generation grew up thinking Leonardo Dicaprio is hot!

Quote

He has the decency to acknowledge me and still has after I mention my dog the day after.  He doesn't have to be the most talkative bubbly guy to me, as long as he makes little efforts and talks to me..that's what matters, I don't want him to change his online authentic self for me. He is who he is, just a decent guy who's life is busier than mine. He knows I go out a bunch more than him without doing the work so my life compares to his is made of rainbows and skittles in his eyes. Well, I really can't judge him. 

Yeah. He sounds like my uncle. He's not the most talkative of guys. But he's still a decent dude.  Yeah, sounds like the guy you're interested in is as interested in you as you are in him, it's just that due to his busy schedule and how hectic his life is, he hasn't had the time to give you the attention you're looking for at the moment. Give it time, be patient, and in due time he'll be getting back at you the way you want him to communicate.

Edited June 27, 2020 by Azincourt

[Roswell91]

50 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

It is, when you only want to date women who are 18-22, and while, because you've avoided alcohol, cigarettes, stress, drama, the sun(lots of sunscreen and baseball caps), and a life of intense manual labor, and due to a miracle, you still look like you are in your early 20s(according to several plastic surgeons I talked about fixing any visible flaw), you kinda start feeling weird for dating women whose ''sex idols'' are the kids from One Direction.

The women in my generation grew up thinking Leonardo Dicaprio is hot!

Yeah. He sounds like my uncle. He's not the most talkative of guys. But he's still a decent dude.  Yeah, sounds like the guy you're interested in is as interested in you as you are in him, it's just that due to his busy schedule and how hectic his life is, he hasn't had the time to give you the attention you're looking for at the moment. Give it time, be patient, and in due time he'll be getting back at you the way you want him to communicate.

Why do you want to date 18-22 yr olds. 

Kind of weird. 

At least go for women 25 and up

[Azincourt]

1 minute ago, Roswell91 said:

Why do you want to date 18-22 yr olds. 

Kind of weird. 

At least go for women 25 and up

They're easily impressed by a man's good looks.

Women my age or older have already grown accostumed to a guy being good-looking and expect a guy to have more substance to himself other than, pretty hair, nice abs, nice teeth, before they sleep with him. They're also looking for a serious relationship, which I'm not.

Edited June 27, 2020 by Azincourt