Maldives Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 Hi all, Only been on two dates a few things she said made me raise my antenna but thinking it may be to soon to form an opinion. She's told me a lot about her life and appears she's spread her self thin financially trying to help to many people like her family. She's Thai and I think it's common with there culture helping family overseas etc. On the 2nd date she talked about what she expects in a relationship and this came up again. This time it was about how she believes helping each other financially if one partner needs money but to be honest I think she's talking about herself cause she's mentioned it before and I'm doing ok well breaking even haha. I donno wether this will be something I should be concerned about and was wandering what people's thoughts here are on this is it something to keep your eyes open or even maybe give this girl a miss? A friend said I needed more time to get to know her to see the bigger picture of her circumstances. I didn't wanna start catching feelings if U know what I mean lol then it's kinda hard to move on from em. She is a little mmm not cold but kinda not really caring type but is it too early to tell? It does kinda feel like me always having to initiate contact but I'd actually given up on her and about a week passed and she reached out (coincidentally at the same time I decided to reactivate my dating app where we met and I've seen her on it still but that's kinda the norm wth these online dating apps I've found) I know it seems like a lot only after two dates but we kinda been communicating for almost a month now. I guess I'm not sure how I feel either the uncaring is kinda dented it a little but I like her physically she's beautiful and local a few boxes are defo ticked thoughts?
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 It's way too early to tell. At this juncture the only thing you need to be sure about is whether you want a 3rd date. Trying to see beyond that is too fast too soon. You know some of her views on money. She expects you to support her & she expects to support her family. If you are already annoyed by those financial opinions, get out. A date is a try out to assess compatibility. If you are already seeing points of contention, there is no point in continuing. 4
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 Traditionally the BF or husband will also be responsible to support her family. That's how it works. Me personally see this as a deal breaker. 1
ShyViolet Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 It was only the 2nd date and she was saying that she expects her partner to support her financially? That's kind of a red flag. Do not give this girl any money. 1
Mystery4u Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 Why stress about it now? Keep seeing her, hopefully transition to having sex with her. If she is really interested and it starts to get serious then you can evaluate.. 1
elaine567 Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 Are you willing to support her and her family? If not then pass. No point in getting invested to find this is a deal breaker. Too many it seems to me ignore "cultural" issues in favour of "a love conquers all" mindset. Or the belief that Western values and customs and attitudes will trump all That is a huge mistake. She has been upfront about what she expects. If you cannot deliver then walk away. 5
Calmandfocused Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 She’s looking for a financial prop, which would be you! The fact she’s brought it up a few times during 2 dates suggests to me that she’s looking for someone to take care of her. The interpretation of “mutually supporting each other” is “I’m in a financial mess, can you help me?” She’s setting the scene of what’s to come. If that’s what you’re after, no problem but don’t be manipulated by her. Date her if you must but know that you can’t be afraid to put your hand in your pocket. Give it a month and a few more dates and I bet she asks you for money in either a direct or indirect way. When you decline she’ll refer back to the conversations she had with you on the first two dates and say “ but I told you from the start I was struggling and needed your help.....” I wouldn’t bother if I was you 1
Author Maldives Posted June 25, 2020 Author Posted June 25, 2020 (edited) Thanks all really really great advice made so much sense helped alot I might go another date or two and then evaluate ye definately not interested in being someone's financial crutch So thankful for this site and your honest feedback it's a godsend Edited June 25, 2020 by Goodguy05 2
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