poppyfields Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Exactly what I wish he would say actually hahaha You wanna really laugh? I would be running for the hills if a man texted me all that after only one date! It's way too much, for me. See how different we are? How different we all are? There is no right or wrong about this stuff, only what works for you. Re the "thinking of you" text, I have actually been the one who texted that. My fav was from my bf who said "oh yeah? What exactly are you thinking about"? With a wink wink emoji. We had a flirty fun banter after that, nothing sexual, as we'd only had a few dates and not had sex yet. But it was fun and flirty. Edited June 24, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: You wanna really laugh? I would be running for the hills if a man texted me all that after only one date! It's way too much, for me. See how different we are? How different we all are? There is no right or wrong about this stuff, only what works for you. Re the "thinking of you" text, I have actually been the one who texted that. My fav was from my bf who said "oh yeah? What exactly are you thinking about"? With a wink wink emoji. We had a flirty fun banter after that, nothing sexual, as we'd only had a few dates and not had sex yet. But it was fun and flirty. I get your point....yeah you're right. Ok I will just go with the flow with no expectations. 1
Backinthesaddleagain Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 51 minutes ago, Britney25 said: So I asked him what he misses about them and he said everything. Hmmm not very creative lol That is a very generic and boring response, he definitely got an "F" on that reply. You left it wide open to elaborate a little and create some sexual tension/excitement. Lame! 37 minutes ago, lurker74 said: Here, type this into your phone and send it to yourself and then pretend it's him: What do I miss about you, Britney? I'd like to say it's the way that you pupils widen when you notice me stare at you, the sound of your laugh when I surprise you, or the way that even though I barely know you, I already admire you. I'd like to say that it's the curve of your hip through your skirt or they way I can imagine myself sliding my lips softly along your collar bone one night under the stars. I'd like to say that I miss your thoughts and our conversation and the way that time ceased to exist in the short moments we were together. I'd like to say all of that, but the truth is, it's none of them. In fact, it's all of them...but it's more. I miss the way that I feel when I am with you and I would love another chance to feel that way. Haha, good one lurker. But in reality the only guys that say this are either really young and are still romantic and idealistic, players that always have some pick up line, or they are older and have lampshades made from past online dates.... 1
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 21 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said: That is a very generic and boring response, he definitely got an "F" on that reply. You left it wide open to elaborate a little and create some sexual tension/excitement. Lame! Haha, good one lurker. But in reality the only guys that say this are either really young and are still romantic and idealistic, players that always have some pick up line, or they are older and have lampshades made from past online dates.... He texted me he wants my hug
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 23 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said: That is a very generic and boring response, he definitely got an "F" on that reply. You left it wide open to elaborate a little and create some sexual tension/excitement. Lame! Haha, good one lurker. But in reality the only guys that say this are either really young and are still romantic and idealistic, players that always have some pick up line, or they are older and have lampshades made from past online dates.... Yeah you say that but you know what who the hell knows...maybe hes not good at texting. Plus I judge people in person instead of texting because it could be so lovey dovy and in person you know what they want so there
introverted1 Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 Where are you located? How old are you? How old is he?
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Where are you located? How old are you? How old is he? I am in NYC and he is in Canada. I'm 35 and hes 45
Backinthesaddleagain Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 14 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He texted me he wants my hug Lame. Dude sounds generic and boring. I wouldn't be too surprised if he is just out to get laid. 12 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Yeah you say that but you know what who the hell knows...maybe hes not good at texting. Plus I judge people in person instead of texting because it could be so lovey dovy and in person you know what they want so there Again, you know your situation better than we do. Good luck with it and keep us posted. We love hearing about the success stories! 1
introverted1 Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 Just now, Britney25 said: I am in NYC and he is in Canada. I'm 35 and hes 45 How is it you always find these guys who are older and don't live in your city? It seems that this is a repeating pattern for you. It is very, very hard to start a relationship with distance. Hell, it's hard enough to maintain an already established relationship through distance! Has this guy said or done anything to suggest he's interested in more than just sex? Or are you just looking for something casual?
Backinthesaddleagain Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 Just now, Britney25 said: I am in NYC and he is in Canada. I'm 35 and hes 45 I forgot that you guys are far apart. Maybe he is interested in something real after all, but it's hard to say. 1
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 Just now, Backinthesaddleagain said: Lame. Dude sounds generic and boring. I wouldn't be too surprised if he is just out to get laid. Again, you know your situation better than we do. Good luck with it and keep us posted. We love hearing about the success stories! Thank you but I hope you're not being sarcastic and truly mean that 1
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 1 minute ago, introverted1 said: How is it you always find these guys who are older and don't live in your city? It seems that this is a repeating pattern for you. It is very, very hard to start a relationship with distance. Hell, it's hard enough to maintain an already established relationship through distance! Has this guy said or done anything to suggest he's interested in more than just sex? Or are you just looking for something casual? I dont like the Men in my city...the ones I meet. Plus why not long distance if theres a spark...I know people who met long distance and they are happily married. Maybe they were lucky and and I'm not but life is way too short. I dont see anything wrong with it if it's not only sex based Interaction.
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, introverted1 said: How is it you always find these guys who are older and don't live in your city? It seems that this is a repeating pattern for you. It is very, very hard to start a relationship with distance. Hell, it's hard enough to maintain an already established relationship through distance! Has this guy said or done anything to suggest he's interested in more than just sex? Or are you just looking for something casual? Well besides keeping in touch conversation about what's going on in his life and mine and wanting to see me again, what else do you mean?
introverted1 Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: I dont like the Men in my city...the ones I meet. Plus why not long distance if theres a spark...I know people who met long distance and they are happily married. Maybe they were lucky and and I'm not but life is way too short. I dont see anything wrong with it if it's not only sex based Interaction. There may not be anything wrong with it, but the odds of you finding a lasting relationship through long distance dating are pretty small. What is wrong with guys in NYC? Life is indeed short and if the process you're following isn't bringing success maybe it's time to switch it up. Good luck! 1
poppyfields Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 (edited) Britney, how did you meet him? Did you meet on line? If so, did he initiate contact first? Or did you? When I did OLD, I always deleted messages from guys who lived a long distance away. In my experience and my friends, guys who make a point of messaging women who live a long distance away, and in your case, separate countries even, are not looking for anything serious, if they were, they'd be contacting local women whom they can regularly date and develop something substantial with. With long distance guys, the distance is a convenient excuse to not want a serious relationship and not be blamed for it. Not in every single case but many. Such guys can also be avoidant or commitmentphobes. Again, the physical distance is a ready-made excuse to not get close. If you met in real life, then what I just posted is food for thought. Again just my experience but nothing good or positive ever came from "dating" a man who messaged me first and lived a long distance away from me. But maybe you will an exception. I have a friend who met her now husband spontaneously on a forum like this. They lived on opposite ends of the globe! They interacted on line for about a year, then she flew to America and they marrird a year later! So a happy ending! Anyway, good luck and keep us posted. Edited June 24, 2020 by poppyfields 2
Author Britney25 Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Britney, how did you meet him? Did you meet on line? If so, did he initiate contact first? Or did you? When I did OLD, I always deleted messages from guys who lived a long distance away. In my experience and my friends, guys who make a point of messaging women who live a long distance away, and in your case, separate countries even, are not looking for anything serious, if they were, they'd be contacting local women whom they can regularly date and develop something substantial with. With long distance guys, the distance is a convenient excuse to not want a serious relationship and not be blamed for it. Not in every single case but many. Such guys can also be avoidant or commitmentphobes. Again, the distance is a ready-made excuse to not get close. If you met in real life, then what I just posted is food for thought. Again just my experience but nothing good or positive ever came from "dating" a man who messaged me first and lived a long distance away from me. But maybe you will an exception. I have a friend who met her now husband spontaneously on a forum like this. They lived on opposite ends of the globe! They interacted on line for about a year, then she flew to America and they marrird a year later! So a happy ending! Anyway, good luck and keep us posted. Exactly! What an amazing story your friend has. That's why again I'm not closing the door on him but also I'm not waiting on him...we are not boyfriend girlfriend so yes I am being careful cuz I dont trust easily. But also I hope and you never know how you might meet the one. This isnt just some random online contact. We met on Facebook and he messaged me first.
Backinthesaddleagain Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 50 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Thank you but I hope you're not being sarcastic and truly mean that I am a smart ass by nature, but I am being sincere. There are lots of horror stories on here, it would be nice to read one that actually works out. 1
Grey40 Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 Britney, tell him you’d like to FaceTime or video chat. You’ll be able to get a much clearer idea of his intentions then and you’ll be able to learn more about each other and see if it’s even worth thinking so much about. You might find he has qualities you don’t even like. I wouldn’t waste time with these little texts back and forth, it’s not progressing anywhere.
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