MANDI2000 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Ok, i need some advice. I fell in love with a guy almost a year ago, i had no idea of his record. He had three dwi's. In april in obtained his fourth one. We were both so in love with each other, and he had to go to jail. I helped him get out of jail and into a rehab program, where i visted him everyweekend for three months. When he got out he proposed and move in. The wedding date was set and we were both great. I came home late one night after work and he was drunk with some of the neihborhood girls in the pool. He stayed out there until 6 in the morining. So i then went out all night the following night. He contuined hanging out with his guy friends until really late hours so i would take of my ring everytime he upset me. He took back my ring and when i was at work he moved out to his friends house. He tells me, by me not coming home he is hurt and that he needs time away from me right now to figure things out. I know he is worried about court at the beigning of Nov, because he is probably going to do some jail time for this being his fourth dwi. That only leaves me three weeks to get things straight. I love him, i beleive he is the one for me. I would stand by him like i did in the past if he does go to jail. I would visit him every chance i can get to see him. but i dont want to do this if he is not into me now. I guess if he is giving me up for his friends then i hope his friends will vist him and help him while he is in jail. I dont know what to do, maybe he is breaking up with me before he goes to jail so he doesnt have to deal with me while he is away. any advise? i love him and i miss sleeping next to him, but he doesnt return my phone calls, and he just keeps saying that he is still in love with me but he needs time away from me. what should i do?
muhlissuh Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 From female to female... I'm going to start this off with an "I'm sorry". Not because it's my fault, but because I have compassion towards your situation. Next, I know that you may love him. That you may care for him. That every thing in your existance may revolve around him, but why? Have you ever evaluated what he has to offer? And of course there's the all to famous question... Is he good enough? I think that sometimes people settle with that, but lets go further... Is he better? I think I might be able to somewhat answer this. ANY girl. ANY place. ANY time. Is better. Seriously take this into consideration... Would you have gotten drunk and sat in a pool with a bunch of bro's all night? More likely than not the answer is no. You diserve equal respect. So, I guess the answer to your subject is... Yes. It'll hurt, but in the long run... You'll recieve much more. Much Much more. In addition, look at all you've learned. PS Never date another man fresh out of jail again.
Author MANDI2000 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 thanks for the advice, he is just so darn cute. It makes it that much harder to walk away. I guess i dont understand how one month he proposes and is happy in love with me and three months later he hates my guts. despite his record, he comes from a very proper family, he is educated and has a very decent job. So i guess i'll just take it day by day, try this nc thing and keep by self busy. It sucks because we had so many future plans together, and i feel so lonely............
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 thanks for the advice, he is just so darn cute. It makes it that much harder to walk away. I guess i dont understand how one month he proposes and is happy in love with me and three months later he hates my guts. despite his record, he comes from a very proper family, he is educated and has a very decent job. So i guess i'll just take it day by day, try this nc thing and keep by self busy. It sucks because we had so many future plans together, and i feel so lonely............ count your blessings.. Jail.. Dui's.. This guys life is on the downhill slide and he will just take you with him. He's a drunk..and you are thinking like a codependant.. Don't look back at this guy ever.. Will he lose his job ? and How old are you ?
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