How much do girls care about home ownership?

[Bluesky00]

6 hours ago, Caauug said:

You have problems attracting girls so you are looking at "Gold Diggers"?   Or Single mums with a ready made family just looking for a nest? It appears you are doing this for the wrong reasons, do it to better yourself and increase your own financial value for YOU.

She would only have to prove she put money into the property, have a couple of kids (maybe not even his but he has connected with them) and spent the last year or so living common law in the property...… She would have the lot, with him still paying the mortgage, rent for his new single bed apartment and child support all out of his $140K+yr. Paying an escort for a few times a month will be cheaper than buying a house "To pull women"......

^^^^^ Yes, this has always worked for me. But I have never sold...… With 5 properties maybe I should shed a few....

This is something OP will have to consider for his area and his spending habits. Renting in my area is likely closer to 2x expensive than to buy, it has been this way since the last mining boom. Some people do not do investments, property or other.

This is likely #1 reason not to buy or the old "Location, location, location" 3x reason to buy a property in real estate if not in above zones.

 

But it is an attractive trait for a man to have home ownership. Nobody dates people for who they are, they date them for what they have. And a home is one of them. Living in moms basement is NOT going to get him dates and apartment living at 40 isn’t either. That’s the way it is in the dating world, maybe he can’t get dates without owning a home, But is night help him land more dates. 

[carhill]

Quote

oh, and I was born and raised in California, lived there until the age of 18

Born CA 50's, native 60+ years.

Edited June 21, 2020 by carhill
Quote

[Azincourt]

Just now, carhill said:

Born CA 50's, native 60+ years.

Man, you were born in the wrong age, I tell you what. The sex revolution your generation brought sure has helped the men in my own generation quite a bit, and you lot made sure the American economy didn't collapse any further than it has already collapsed in the last few decades, and you guys get no recognition, nor thanks.

[carhill]

Petrochemical, nuclear, heavy industry, homeowner since 25, 4 at one point. Married a SoCal native. learned a lot.

6 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

you lot made sure the American economy didn't collapse any further than it has already collapsed in the last few decades

 

[Trail Blazer]

On 6/20/2020 at 9:14 AM, basil67 said:

@Weezy1973, so a broad amount of people can find rentals in large cities (with landlords who actually do repairs) for less than 30% of their income?   Wow.  

Having spent time in Australia, I know just how expensive places like Sydney and Melbourne are.  Most U.S. cities are relatively cheap in comparison.

Sure, if you're renting in places like NYC, San Fran, L.A. etc, you'd be hard pressed to have much savings left over after rent.  However, in your average U.S. city, renting is a viable option to save the difference if you earn an okay salary and have some financial discipline.

I, unfortunately live in a city where rents are fairly high.  Thankfully COVID hasn't affected my employment and I earn decent money.  The difference I pay in rent compared to a mortgage is what I'm using to save for a down payment.

I don't plan on leaving for a very long time, and renting isn't something I see as a viable option in the long run.  I want security and the ability to modify my home how I see fit, as well as an appreciating asset that I'll eventually own outright.

[Trail Blazer]

5 hours ago, Bluesky00 said:

But it is an attractive trait for a man to have home ownership. Nobody dates people for who they are, they date them for what they have. And a home is one of them. Living in moms basement is NOT going to get him dates and apartment living at 40 isn’t either. That’s the way it is in the dating world, maybe he can’t get dates without owning a home, But is night help him land more dates. 

I beg to differ. 

I don't disagree with the premise of your post, but there's certainly outliers.  Of course, living in mom's basement when one is 40-years-old isn't attractive to many women.  However, a man can be in a situation where he doesn't have a lot, but that doesn't define who he is.

The accumulation of assets tells a lot about someone.  But not the whole story.  Unless the woman is a complete gold digger, she'll want to buy into something of a little more substance than just material wealth.

 

 

[basil67]

6 hours ago, Bluesky00 said:

Nobody dates people for who they are, they date them for what they have. 

That's quite a statement.  This might be how you operate, but there are many people who don't feel the same way.

Edited June 22, 2020 by basil67

[SumGuy]

To an extent your living situation shapes where you are in life, not as in status but life path, and what kind of relationship another can readily have with you.  
I believe, at least in US culture, it’s more if you have your own place, as compared to sharing.  
After about 30 it seems if you don’t have your own place, either rent or own, the question is why?

[amaysngrace]

People who place value on what someone has aren’t good people.

[Versacehottie]

2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

To an extent your living situation shapes where you are in life, not as in status but life path, and what kind of relationship another can readily have with you.  
I believe, at least in US culture, it’s more if you have your own place, as compared to sharing.  
After about 30 it seems if you don’t have your own place, either rent or own, the question is why?

Bolded 100%!!

OP, is late 20's he said so guessing 27-29? Assuming he likes girls his age or less if he is as most guys do. If a girl is 23-24, she is probably not going to care at all that the guy has a house.  Gold digger or not.  In fact, when he is stuck at home because it's 30 minutes plus away from wherever the nightlife is and wants to hang out at home because he is pouring everything he has into his place, she is going to find that boring.  I know I would.  He also might not be able to really travel and have fun doing trips and stuff when his main priority is the investment in his house.  Again, I would find that boring.  Also wanting to do house projects, and drag his gf to home depot etc because it's important, and then a lot of them would be OUT.  All I am trying to point out in saying this is, to other posters who don't believe it's possible, you can't really say "every girl would find it an attraction that a guy his age has a house.  It all depends on the people and life stages involved.  The absolutes are just not true.  

[Azincourt]

17 hours ago, Bluesky00 said:

But it is an attractive trait for a man to have home ownership. Nobody dates people for who they are, they date them for what they have. And a home is one of them. Living in moms basement is NOT going to get him dates and apartment living at 40 isn’t either. That’s the way it is in the dating world, maybe he can’t get dates without owning a home, But is night help him land more dates. 

that's not... that's not how dating works?

At least that's not how dating works outside of Beverly Hills or outside Woolworth Tower Residences. People date because they like each other. Because they are physically attracted to each other. Because they have romantic feelings for each other. That sort of stuff. Neve had a woman ask to see my bank statement before. Never had a woman ask where I live so she can assess the house is worth by learning how expensive or cheap it is to live in that area.

I have been dumped by a fashion model/TV actress for a 55 year old Danny Devito TV executive with millions a year as income, but I've also met many hundreds and thousands of women as attractive as her who didn't care about how much money the guy makes or about him being a homeowner or not.

Facts. Most men are not homeowners, and my generation is broke in any case. If women were to expect a guy to have a house before they consider dating him, most women - around the world - would be single for a very, very long time.

Living at his parents home is not going to get him dates?

Sure it is. 

Ever heard of this niffty little thing called...

The Gym.

Look good. Feel good. Be charming, and lots of attractive women will date you even if you live with your great-grandma in the house your grandparents were born. Women who care much about money and the dude being a house owner are women you don't want to date anyway. Because they're not looking at you when they are out on a date with you. They're lost in mental calculations of how much money they're going to get in child-support/alimony when they decide to divorce you.

Take care of your body, face, and hair. Smell good. Wear nice clothes, that don't even need to be expensive. My t-shirts cost 5 dollars a piece and my pants are 10, and they look good on me. Because my body looks good, and that's what matters.

Or you can be like those guys who have a lot of money and a lot of women who are only sleeping with you because that's the only way they have to gain access to your cash, COUGH we all know who we are talking about.

[SumGuy]

13 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

Bolded 100%!!

OP, is late 20's he said so guessing 27-29? ....  The absolutes are just not true.  

Exactly, it also matters who he is trying to attract and the relationship he is looking for.    If she is about going out alot and the venues are far away, living far away is a detriment.  Yet, if she likes waking up in the morning with her bo and chilling on the deck, him having his own place (rental or owned) is a plus.  These are not even mutually exclusive, when young we went to parties every weekend, but also liked having a place that was your own, could wake up and walk around naked and keep the place as you like without the bother of roommates.  To each there own and it really depends on what he is looking for.

If he is looking for marriage and kids then, heck yah owning a home is a big time plus...but not sure that is OPs goal.

On the "burdens" of home ownership...they really are not that bad...a few hours at most a weekend if you keep on top of it.   Owning a home is also no hindrance at all to travel.   ...and being able to fix stuff yourself I believe is a big plus on your man card, especially in Texas, like a real turn-on for some women.  

[SumGuy]

5 hours ago, Azincourt said:

that's not... that's not how dating works?

....

Facts. Most men are not homeowners, and my generation is broke in any case. If women were to expect a guy to have a house before they consider dating him, most women - around the world - would be single for a very, very long time.

Living at his parents home is not going to get him dates?

Sure it is. 

Maybe where you live (which if understand correctly is in the EU) it is no thing if a guy lives at home or not, or if he is broke or not,  pretty sure in Texas that stuff matters.  Also pretty sure Texan's don't give  rats a** about if most men "around the world" own or don't own.  They care about what goes on in Texas.    

It's not really about if he can get dates being broke and living at home, I'm certain broke men living at home in Texas get dates to.  It's about improving his odds and who he wants to date.   I can pretty much guarantee you a guy who has a job and does not live at home (or even better has his own place) is going to do far better at dating in Texas all other things being equal.  

I can imagine the conversation when she says, let's go back to your place....oh sure, just be quite when we go in so we don't wake up my parents.   I'm not seeing that inspiring the warm fuzzies in Texas, or the alternative where he just shines he on and always says lets go to your place...even the first time that shouts "player" after a few such requests it gets very suspect. 

Now of course if you mean by "dating" ONS or a couple sex-capades, sure, but that is not really dating as commonly understood in Texas, that is just playing...and certainly there are women who want only that (and for them yes the gym is likely important, as you are not much more than muscle of the moment)...yet suspect in Texas they still say boys play, men do. 

This is Sparta, I mean Texas after all, not Never-Never Land we are talking here.

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Sorry, but this sounds like a brag post. No one cares how much money you make. Try and get a girl with your personality, not your possessions. Good luck. 

[Azincourt]

40 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Maybe where you live (which if understand correctly is in the EU) it is no thing if a guy lives at home or not, or if he is broke or not,  pretty sure in Texas that stuff matters.  Also pretty sure Texan's don't give  rats a** about if most men "around the world" own or don't own.  They care about what goes on in Texas.    

It's not really about if he can get dates being broke and living at home, I'm certain broke men living at home in Texas get dates to.  It's about improving his odds and who he wants to date.   I can pretty much guarantee you a guy who has a job and does not live at home (or even better has his own place) is going to do far better at dating in Texas all other things being equal.  

I can imagine the conversation when she says, let's go back to your place....oh sure, just be quite when we go in so we don't wake up my parents.   I'm not seeing that inspiring the warm fuzzies in Texas, or the alternative where he just shines he on and always says lets go to your place...even the first time that shouts "player" after a few such requests it gets very suspect. 

Now of course if you mean by "dating" ONS or a couple sex-capades, sure, but that is not really dating as commonly understood in Texas, that is just playing...and certainly there are women who want only that (and for them yes the gym is likely important, as you are not much more than muscle of the moment)...yet suspect in Texas they still say boys play, men do. 

This is Sparta, I mean Texas after all, not Never-Never Land we are talking here.

 

Yeah. American living in Europe.  I still go back home often. My friends back home are all in their 30s and either living at home still or with roomates and they still date. They have long-term relationships. I know a few guys who have a biological son or two, with the mother of the child either living with her parents or alone, and keeping the child. The father of the kid is living with roomates, with his parents, or he doesn't want to move in with his girlfriend, but still enjoys dating her.

They aren't negatively penalized in the dating world by lacking a car or by not being a home owner. 

These are American Middle-class men and women.   

164 million women in the US alone.

Then there's the women who live in Mexico and the 15 millions or so Canadian women. More than enough women for you to meet those who are interested in you and not in what you can provide for them.

Would you rather women sleep with you, date you, have children with you because they are actually attracted to you; or would you rather have someone marry you and have a child with you because you can afford a house and you can afford raising a kid?

There's lots of women who do that, sadly. Pick a guy who is safe or who has a good job, or isn't too attractive making his chances of ''cheating'' on her lower than she'd otherwise have to deal with if she went with another more daredevil-driven guy.

 The divorce rate in Belgium is at 89%.

I got a feeling this is so because they married the men who could afford a family and a wife instead of marrying the men they actually wanted to get with, but whom could not afford a family, so women decided to pick a man they had no emotional chemistry, no sexual attraction for.

It doesn't matter what women in Texas care about.  What matters is what you care about and what you can get.

I've also met many women in Los Angeles who wouldn't give me a chance because they didn't like my financial prospects or because I lack a house of my own.  I mean, I stand to inherit several houses worth quite a sweet amount of money and lands  and farms and money because I have great-grandparents and other relatives who got me on the will.

But you think I let women know that about me?

That's the easiest way to end up with a woman who is with me because she sees $$$ signs when she looks at me.

Make yourself appear to be financially poor and academically poor, and the women who'll date you are the women who are truthfully attracted to you, not to your wallet.

(and if you hit the gym hard those women will be pretty hot)

Oh, if you do end up getting married or co-habitating with a girlfriend for long.  Get your assets and money under your family's name. That way she won't have access to what you own, to what you have. A prenup sounds good in theory, but ya think Jeff Bezos didn't have the best lawyers money can buy? He still lost 60 billion dollars.  We  middle-class bro, we can't afford a divorce.

Never, ever let a woman know you have money. 

Edited June 22, 2020 by Azincourt

[carhill]

4 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Make yourself appear to be financially poor and academically poor, and the women who'll date you are the women who are truthfully attracted to you, not to your wallet.

Dad was modest; modesty worked horribly in my generation. Sure ticket to being invisible. Bad programming. Is it back in style?

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 6/19/2020 at 10:46 AM, GimmeeShelter said:

I’m trying to decide if I should buy a home in the Austin area. I make a little less than $140K a year (including bonus and investments), which I know isn’t great for Austin but that’s another problem. Assuming I can buy a starter home around $400K (and it’s a good investment/right area/etc), should I? I feel like girls in Texas really look down on men in their late 20s like me that don’t a home...

1. If you think relationships are upkeep and things continuously needing to get fixed whether you have the time and tools or not, just wait until you own a home. DO NOT buy a home until you're REALLY REALLY READY to maintain, not just own, a home.

2. This was just me and it was going back in time to the early 2000s. But here's how I took it:

* If the guy was over 24 or so...I'd expect him to at least be roommates with someone. A guy in his late 20s who didn't have at least an apartment (apartment share if in late 20s, that was fine) then I wasn't as interested, because I had gotten to that point through hard work and I'd expect him to as well, barring some really really serious thing; for instance, being a live-in caretaker for an ailing parent - not just for the paperwork's sake but actually, legitimately needing to be there for someone who otherwise while alone would be in danger. (Just an example.)

* If the guy was in his early 30s and didn't at least live in an apartment share...no. That would have seemed weird. Again, extreme circumstances might have meant something different but I never did run into circumstances that extreme.

* If the guy was mid-30s and didn't have an apartment on his own and we would have had to sneak around roommates...just...no. Grow up.

* Only dated one guy who was as old as 40. He had a house. I wouldn't have cared about him actually owning a house. Many people of all ages don't own homes. I thought of it as: I didn't own a home yet either and didn't plan to until I was married to or living with (with assumption of an ongoing future) someone. Then we'd buy together. I would not have thought it was weird in the slightest for a 40+ guy to be living in an apartment.

It wasn't along strict lines like this but when I look back on it, because I read your OP and decided to think about it, this was about how I felt. I don't think I would have been put off by a guy not owning a house for any age group or circumstance. And it certainly wouldn't have made a guy more attractive. It just wouldn't have entered into the equation. Generally being capable and independent...yes. A home, no. Wouldn't have made a difference either way. Actually, the 40-year-old I dated did own a house. He was really proud of that and I complimented him on it, etc. when he showed me around (he was so excited). But it definitely didn't make him any sexier in my eyes. In fact he turned out to be kind of an idiot and a game-player and I dropped him.

[Lotsgoingon]

The question isn't relevant. If you don't own a home, then you want to date people who don't reject you because you don't have a home. There are plenty of women who don't care that you don't own a home, especially if you're young. 

[Trail Blazer]

On 6/23/2020 at 11:21 AM, Lotsgoingon said:

The question isn't relevant. If you don't own a home, then you want to date people who don't reject you because you don't have a home. There are plenty of women who don't care that you don't own a home, especially if you're young. 

I don't agree at all.  It is interesting to know how different people view different things at life.  Of course, you want to date people who won't reject you for the things that are applicable to you.  However, you're suggesting we shut down dialog and not try to understand how different people think. 

I think it's very important to know more, not less, about how people, but specifically those from the opposite sex, think and feel about a multitude of issues.  Given that we're all on a dating site, the demographic on here, I would have thought, would view this as particularly pertinent.

[carhill]

Fortunately, living in a demographic where women were in sufficiently in demand they had no problem stating straight out their reasons for rejecting someone, mine boiled down to two, job and hair. I had no job (they didn't consider being self-employed a job) and had no hair   A distant third was I lived too far out in the country.To their credit they weren't overtly rude about it, rather matter of fact. Dating is one area where people can be as arbitrary and discriminatory as they want to be. It's completely legal And then, poof they were off the market once they found one offer of many that fit their standards. I had some understanding of the dynamic during the 20 or so years dating off and on but really learned about it from the woman I married, she filled in a lot of blanks. Brutal. Had I met her ten years prior, she told me, she wouldn't have given me a second look. Yeah baby.

[Lotsgoingon]

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

 Of course, you want to date people who won't reject you for the things that are applicable to you.  However, you're suggesting we shut down dialog and not try to understand how different people think. 

I think it's very important to know more, not less, about how people, but specifically those from the opposite sex, think and feel about a multitude of issues.  Given that we're all on a dating site, the demographic on here, I would have thought, would view this as particularly pertinent.

I can understand why a woman might want to date a guy who owns a home, but if that's a fundamental criteria and you're not on the path to homeownership ... uh ... why bang you head against that wall?

I'm all for conversation, but I assume you meant dating conversation. What is there to talk about if you're 5' 8" and a woman wants a guy who is 6' 2"? ... If you make $50K a year, and the woman wants to date someone dating $250K a year. 

Dude, if you've got some magical conversation persuasion pill, share it. Otherwise, pursuing someone who rules you out as a dating choice is by definition self destructive and self-defeating. What am I missing? 

I'm saying don't apologize for not being a homeowner if you're not a homeowner .

[Trail Blazer]

23 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

I can understand why a woman might want to date a guy who owns a home, but if that's a fundamental criteria and you're not on the path to homeownership ... uh ... why bang you head against that wall?

I'm all for conversation, but I assume you meant dating conversation. What is there to talk about if you're 5' 8" and a woman wants a guy who is 6' 2"? ... If you make $50K a year, and the woman wants to date someone dating $250K a year. 

Dude, if you've got some magical conversation persuasion pill, share it. Otherwise, pursuing someone who rules you out as a dating choice is by definition self destructive and self-defeating. What am I missing? 

I'm saying don't apologize for not being a homeowner if you're not a homeowner .

Your point may have been that it's irrelevant to worry about women whose preference is something that you aren't.  However, it's not irrelevant to ask the question and to get an idea of what, exactly, it is that women do or don't want.

I have no magical one-liner, or some other coercive attributes to attract women, beyond my natural ability to be who I am and let nature take its course. 

Thankfully, despite my own lack of home ownership owing to a divorce in the past 18 months, I have been able to get back out there and navigate the OLD sphere and find moderate success.

It would appear from my experience that almost all women under the age of 30 do not necessarily have home owenership as highly weighed.  And, of the women who are in their 30s, from my experience, it's the ones who own their own home that expect men to be home owners, too.

It makes sense, as women rarely enjoy being the ones to bring more to the table than a man.

Thankfully, especially for men looking to date women under the age of 30, it would appear that at least in any major city, home owenership is for those women is in the minority.

I've always believed that women will buy into someone's potential, as much as they will buy into "the now."  At least, any woman who's not a gold digger, anyway.

A man with a good, stable job and income, who has or is on a path to getting his life in order, would not be discarded by almost any woman if he otherwise ticks her other boxes, i.e. he's not 5'8" when she's after someone who is 6'2".

[Lotsgoingon]

Trailblazer, after I submitted my answer, it dawned on me what you were saying. Yes, this is a worthy discussion topic ... The problem is, people get hung on on topics like this and immediately start making assumptions about "what women want" and what a man "has to do"  to "get" a woman and all of that. And in those discussions, all kinds of over-generalizations emerge. So I was assuming at bottom this was a "what does to it take to be a man who attracts women?" discussion. 

Now I get your point that this topic can be discussed without going where I thought it was going. 

Edited June 26, 2020 by Lotsgoingon

[Hopeful30]

On 6/21/2020 at 9:14 PM, amaysngrace said:

People who place value on what someone has aren’t good people.

Not necessarily. The life you create for yourself is a reflection of your efforts and what you consciously want to manifest. Those who dedicate time and energy towards a career, will have more of a career than those who don't invest in their future. 

Investing in your future includes owning property, building a profession, taking care of your overall health, and improving your relationships. Being a home owner is one reflection of that investment. A man who can invest in the future is more attractive than a man who doesn't build a life deliberately, but simply 'gets by' 

As a woman who wants a husband and children, I would opt for the man who builds.

[basil67]

@Hopeful30 Grace was responding to a post which said "Nobody dates people for who they are, they date them for what they have".   I suspect that contrary to this statement, you also want a man who's a good and kind person.