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Should you mention height to a taller woman?


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Posted

For some reason a lot of my matches on dating sites lately have been taller women. One that I talked to on the phone and am planning to talk to again is 6'0 and I'm going to have a conversation with another one that is 5'9. I've also messaged a few others in that range. For reference I am 5'10.

With the one that's 6'0 I asked her I told her I had her profile open while we were talking and that I messaged her because I liked what she wrote about one of her interests. Then I said "is this right that you're 6'0 tall?". She said and she's comfortable with her height and she doesn't care about the guys height. I told her I didn't really care either. That was the last we mentioned about it. 

The truth is I don't quite no how it would feel to look up at a woman, but my gut feeling is that I will get used to it if we have good chemistry and it won't be an issue. As I was thinking about it her profile didn't show any pictures from the waist down and I don't know if she's embarrassed about having long legs. I was also imaging these women with long legs and looking at some other profiles l think they're really cute. So it may actually be a positive.

I've heard someone say with a taller woman you can use it as an ice breaker and ask if it's helped or hurt them with dating or what the pros and cons are in general, but don't know if it's something to just avoid altogether or not.

What are your thoughts?

Posted

My opinion is tell the truth when asked but don’t make height an issue until she does.

  • Like 6
Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, max3732 said:

For some reason a lot of my matches on dating sites lately have been taller women. One that I talked to on the phone and am planning to talk to again is 6'0 and I'm going to have a conversation with another one that is 5'9. I've also messaged a few others in that range. For reference I am 5'10.

With the one that's 6'0 I asked her I told her I had her profile open while we were talking and that I messaged her because I liked what she wrote about one of her interests. Then I said "is this right that you're 6'0 tall?". She said and she's comfortable with her height and she doesn't care about the guys height. I told her I didn't really care either. That was the last we mentioned about it. 

The truth is I don't quite no how it would feel to look up at a woman, but my gut feeling is that I will get used to it if we have good chemistry and it won't be an issue. As I was thinking about it her profile didn't show any pictures from the waist down and I don't know if she's embarrassed about having long legs. I was also imaging these women with long legs and looking at some other profiles l think they're really cute. So it may actually be a positive.

I've heard someone say with a taller woman you can use it as an ice breaker and ask if it's helped or hurt them with dating or what the pros and cons are in general, but don't know if it's something to just avoid altogether or not.

What are your thoughts?

As a tall woman of nearly 6 feet who has struggled her whole life because of this, the answer is yes, mention it. 

First of all, it's considerate. No surprises (boy do I have stories for that) and second...do you actually know your height? I literally measured myself on a wall with a tape measure. Most guys I meet are surprised they aren't taller because they "thought" they were 6 feet. Which is annoying, know your facts.

Lastly, date a shorter woman and don't compromise on height. From a female perspective, I also don't like looking down on my man. I don't feel ladylike and while height is not THE most important quality, I secretly always feel uncomfortable being the taller one. I love wearing heels and when I date men my height or shorter, I can't dress up as much because i will feel uncomfortable being taller...and a sexy dress in flats doesn't feel the same.

Again, not the most important quality and easy to overlook if the guy is great...but deep down, every woman wants a bigger man. Just how deep down, every man wants to be "the man" in the relationship and feel bigger and stronger so he can protect his woman.

That being said, follow your gut. Always follow your gut.

Edited by Hopeful30
Posted

As a woman, I prefer my man to be taller than me. However, there are plenty of cases in which the woman is the tallest in the couple (e.g. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner...): so, clearly not for every woman height is an issue.

If I were you I would mention it to see if for her this is a concern or not

Posted

Most women prefer taller men, but when you are a woman of 6', your options are limited because men prefer smaller women...it's goes both ways, and everyone is different in their acceptance of height. Talking openly about it is the way to go IMO.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

tell her to wear her tallest heels when you’re together. look at Tina Fey’s  husband and tell me if height is an issue. he’s 5’2 married to one of the hottest female celebrity in the world. 5’10 is not even short. as long as you can maintain her interest level bec. plenty of guys can’t , show her a fun time, make her laugh, etc...you got nothing to worry about. 

i think you should get off this subject and not bring it up again. 

Edited by Interstellar
Posted

I don't care about height. When I'm single I always say I do, but when cupid shoots his arrow it all goes out the window…..haha

I'd just be honest though, having a guy be insecure about his height would be a turnoff. Nothing wrong with asking how she feels about it.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

I'm tall, am open to dating my height or even a little shorter if he's cool with it. Some men love tall, leggy women. Look at the rockers and models ;)

The ideal situation is establish you're both cool with it and then move on. Please don't ever say to her, "I wish I was taller than you." You're not and there's nothing she can do about it. If it's not your thing, that's cool. But if you're cool with it, try to really be cool with it.

Edited by Ruby Slippers
  • Like 1
Posted

If you've honestly disclosed your height on the dating site, then there is no need to bring it up.  I would think that if height was an issue, she has looked at your height.

  • Like 1
Posted

And please, for the love God, do not inflate your height on your dating profile. When a guy has done that and I realize it upon meeting, my respect for him takes a nose-dive. Own who and what you are.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, max3732 said:

What are your thoughts?

Did you mention your height on your profile? If so, you're fine. If you didn't and women match with you anyway, you're also likely fine. The only time it could be a potential problem is if you said you were something other than 5'10. 

Also - don't overthink!

 

Edited by Emilie Jolie
  • Like 2
Posted

Ehh I think you can give yourself an inch, at most. Your shoes do anyways. And everyone loses an inch or more in the evening. No one is scientifically an exact height measurement. 

I'm 5'11 wearing dress shoes in the morning, so I would go with that on my dating profile. Being actually 5'10, there would likely be a noticeable discrepancy if I claimed to be 6' and showed up to a date with a 6' tall woman. But claiming 5'11 on dates with women who are under my actual height is not noticeable to them.  

A lot of women use pictures from 2015, wear heavy makeup, use photos with very flattering or obscuring lighting, wear push-up bras, only have face shots to hide their figures etc. That's the game. Online dating is so looks-focused that I think it's fine to 'pad' your appearance a little to get your foot in the door, without outright dishonesty.

Don't add more than an inch, though. That's the cutoff. 

Posted

I don't think you need to mention it.  At 6 feet she probably assumes a large percentage of men will not be taller than her, and 5'10" is very average, not short (in my opinion).  I think you're fine.  But I would not draw a lot of attention to HER height on the date.  

  • Like 2
Posted
3 hours ago, max3732 said:

For some reason a lot of my matches on dating sites lately have been taller women. One that I talked to on the phone and am planning to talk to again is 6'0 and I'm going to have a conversation with another one that is 5'9. I've also messaged a few others in that range. For reference I am 5'10.

With the one that's 6'0 I asked her I told her I had her profile open while we were talking and that I messaged her because I liked what she wrote about one of her interests. Then I said "is this right that you're 6'0 tall?". She said and she's comfortable with her height and she doesn't care about the guys height. I told her I didn't really care either. That was the last we mentioned about it. 

The truth is I don't quite no how it would feel to look up at a woman, but my gut feeling is that I will get used to it if we have good chemistry and it won't be an issue. As I was thinking about it her profile didn't show any pictures from the waist down and I don't know if she's embarrassed about having long legs. I was also imaging these women with long legs and looking at some other profiles l think they're really cute. So it may actually be a positive.

I've heard someone say with a taller woman you can use it as an ice breaker and ask if it's helped or hurt them with dating or what the pros and cons are in general, but don't know if it's something to just avoid altogether or not.

What are your thoughts?

Don't think too many women are embarrassed about having long legs. You're tall enough that you ought to be able to date any height as long as you're not hung up about it which is starting to sound like you are. But seriously never assume a woman is embarrassed for having long legs. As long as you have your height on your profile and you shouldn't be questioning women about what their height says on their profile. If you can't date someone taller, then put that on your profile. That way you don't have to talk about it at all.

  • Like 2
Posted

I don't think you need to mention it unless it comes up, and maybe try not to take it seriously if it does! Chances are, she's already seen that you're of average height and doesn't care. FWIW, I've had an occasion where a woman taller than myself was interested (I'm 6'2) and trust me, her height was not a problem. It did not end up happening for other reasons but that's another story. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I've dated several taller women ... the funny thing is ... their height didn't actually register with me for a long time. My brain in meeting a woman does not care that she's taller--not in the slightest ... doesn't even notice. Now, there was one woman I was dancing with one night at a club ... who I really loved talking to ... and I'm 5' 9" ... and she was like 6' 2" maybe ... with super long legs ... dancing with her ... definitely looked weird ...

If you're listing your height on the dating app and you approach a woman whose taller ... if she isn't interested, she won't respond. If she's responsive, very good chance she doesn't care. An ex who was tall told me she was always taller than guys she dated, so the issue didn't bother her. 

Some women feel more feminine  if a guy is taller (and bigger) ... Some women don't care and by don't care I mean they can see a guy shorter than them as totally hot. 

 

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Hopeful30 said:

but deep down, every woman wants a bigger man. Just how deep down, every man wants to be "the man" in the relationship and feel bigger and stronger so he can protect his woman.

Did I miss the memo that everyone of one gender thinks the same way? 🤣   I think you're projecting.

@max3732 If height isn't an issue to her and it's not an issue to you, raising it in conversation is not necessary.  Unless of course, the conversation involves discussing how others perceive height requirements.   And that wouldn't be a first date discussion anyway.

Edited by basil67
  • Like 6
Posted (edited)

 

Well it's already come up with the first one , so nuff said there. Generally if it was me l'd rather be sure it was out in the open before we met just to avoid any surprises when we did and so as to not waste time even talking to begin with if it was gonna be a thing, wouldn't bang on about it though.

Though l'd imagine one of the first things a tall woman would check on his profile is height so as long as yours is clear on your page , should be fine. Back in the day l heard from a woman that was 6'7" , had to do a double take on that one let me tell ya , funny she didn't look that tall in her pics. But anyway l agree height doesn't seem to bother most couples if you look around , 1/2 the time she's double his weight as well. Could be fun gettin tossed around the bedroom haha.

Edited by chillii
Posted
6 minutes ago, chillii said:

Back in the day l heard from a woman that was 6'7" , had to do a double take on that one let me tell ya , funny she didn't look that tall in her pics.

Haha! Wow!  That is tall! There was a reality show a few years ago about ultra tall women trying to date and find love.  It was pretty interesting.  Maybe she was on it!

  • Like 1
Posted

 

Yeah , l still remember she had a pic of her walking on the beach and she looked tallish but nothing out of the ordinary. 

Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, max3732 said:

What are your thoughts?

I like being with taller women, whether you like it is another thing. All I can say is it's fun and needn't be an issue unless one of you makes it an issue. That said I certainly wouldn't hide any height difference or fudge your height either. So I encourage you to tell it like it is.

That said if you are online dating having it on your profile ought to be enough. So you don't need to carry on about it after that.

9 hours ago, max3732 said:

I've heard someone say with a taller woman you can use it as an ice breaker and ask if it's helped or hurt them with dating or what the pros and cons are in general, but don't know if it's something to just avoid altogether or not.

Having mostly been with women who are taller than me, I don't think it's a good idea to treat them like they have two heads for being tall by asking such questions.

8 hours ago, Hopeful30 said:

As a tall woman of nearly 6 feet who has struggled her whole life because of this, the answer is yes, mention it. 

First of all, it's considerate. No surprises (boy do I have stories for that) and second...do you actually know your height? I literally measured myself on a wall with a tape measure. Most guys I meet are surprised they aren't taller because they "thought" they were 6 feet. Which is annoying, know your facts.

Lastly, date a shorter woman and don't compromise on height. From a female perspective, I also don't like looking down on my man. I don't feel ladylike and while height is not THE most important quality, I secretly always feel uncomfortable being the taller one. I love wearing heels and when I date men my height or shorter, I can't dress up as much because i will feel uncomfortable being taller...and a sexy dress in flats doesn't feel the same.

Again, not the most important quality and easy to overlook if the guy is great...but deep down, every woman wants a bigger man. Just how deep down, every man wants to be "the man" in the relationship and feel bigger and stronger so he can protect his woman.

That being said, follow your gut. Always follow your gut.

It's funny that you claim every woman wants a bigger man, since one of my former sexual partners is circa 6'2" barefoot, yet I am 162cm (5'3" and a bit) barefoot and she asked me to be with her. Likewise before she was with me her first husband is 5'5" and her current (2nd) husband is 5'4". Despite your claims, she actually prefers shorter men.

Being short I've never lacked for female suitors, especially taller ones, mostly 5'7 through to 5'10, although some were shorter and taller than that.

Likewise my ex-wife is 5'6" while my wife is 5'7" and both of them went after me as well. Of which my wife will happily wear tall boots or heels with me when we're out, so not everyone has a hangup about it.

That covered do you have any clue on what makes a man strong?

Since it is nonsense that a man needs to be taller to be able to protect their woman.

At 5'3" I had no trouble carrying the Section (Squad) GPMG M60 or MAG58 as the machine gunner. Nor did being short stop me becoming an infantry instructor, or an infantry Section Commander (Squad Leader). Just as it didn't prevent me from becoming an infantry Platoon Sergeant or acting Platoon Commander where all of my men were taller than I. Yet when I weighed 55kg (121lbs), I could hump 60kg (132lbs) over a mountain more easily than some of my tall soldiers could.

I have also protected my wife from other men, I remember when a circa 6' tall man broke into her place through her bedroom window when we were dating. Yet I put him on the ground, then turfed him out through her front door with a smear of his blood from his face on the hall floor. Then there was the time I had to shove tall man out of the way when he was a threat to my wife.

Just as I've had two tall men walk away from me after trying to mug me. First they asked if I had any smokes and then they told me to give them my wallet. I just smiled at them and wished them luck in getting it from me, since they would need it. So they walked away rather than trying to take me on.

I have a grandfather who was 5'2" that fought in World War II landing in Normandy on D-Day 6 June 1944. Who picked up a tall 20 something hitchhiker, when he was in his 70s who tried to carjack him. Yet he boxed the living daylights out of him, being a former champion boxer and hardened former coal miner.

A few of my short male friends so 5'3 "to 5'7" have also served operational (some of them multiple) tours in Special Forces and Regular Infantry in Afghanistan, Iraq and East Timor. Who although short, they are certainly not shrinking violets.

At the end of the day some tall men are weak and some are strong, just as some short men are weak and some are strong.

That said I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with you preferring taller men. Yet to claim that all women only want taller men is just silly.

Edited by 5x5
  • Like 2
Posted
20 hours ago, max3732 said:

For some reason a lot of my matches on dating sites lately have been taller women. One that I talked to on the phone and am planning to talk to again is 6'0 and I'm going to have a conversation with another one that is 5'9. I've also messaged a few others in that range. For reference I am 5'10.

With the one that's 6'0 I asked her I told her I had her profile open while we were talking and that I messaged her because I liked what she wrote about one of her interests. Then I said "is this right that you're 6'0 tall?". She said and she's comfortable with her height and she doesn't care about the guys height. I told her I didn't really care either. That was the last we mentioned about it. 

The truth is I don't quite no how it would feel to look up at a woman, but my gut feeling is that I will get used to it if we have good chemistry and it won't be an issue. As I was thinking about it her profile didn't show any pictures from the waist down and I don't know if she's embarrassed about having long legs. I was also imaging these women with long legs and looking at some other profiles l think they're really cute. So it may actually be a positive.

I've heard someone say with a taller woman you can use it as an ice breaker and ask if it's helped or hurt them with dating or what the pros and cons are in general, but don't know if it's something to just avoid altogether or not.

What are your thoughts?

I'm 6 feet tall.

Which is average height in the Netherlands.

An inch taller than the average national height for men in Scandinavia and Germany. 

I've dated women who were 6'3'' to 6'6'' barefoot. Most women don't care about dating a shorter guy, especially when they are taller than most men who've ever been born in this planet of ours.  You don't know how you feel? What I feel is pride. That this Amazon of a woman is going out with me, and that she puts on the 6 inch heels that I asked her to, that makes her get to the 7 feet. All of those 6'6'' dudes staring at me wondering what she sees in me.

Extremely high self-esteem that's what.

  • Like 2
Posted

The problem with saying 5'10 or 6' is that they're both benchmark numbers.  6' is the desirable height by women, and many guys will lie.   Guys who are much shorter than 6' will say 5'10. I will also round to  5'10, but I think I"m close enough at  5' 9.5" to 5' 9.75" (depending on the time or day).  It's obvious to me when other men lie.  I wonder how many women disqualify men knowing some guys claim to be 2 or 3 inches taller than they are.   

Posted (edited)

Just speaking personally, I’m 5’6/7 ish  but when single I would date a guy shorter than me np but I would think twice about  dating a guy shorter than me who brought it up.”does it bother you?” .idk it just seems insecure and shallow to me, I suppose ? ...

 

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Posted

Exactly. That's the average height for women in the Netherlands and in many other Countries with a young urban population, and most of the women are dating a man their own height or an inch taller, or shorter.  Women and men are more than free to have expectations in the men and women they date, but remember that the more standards one has, the less of a dating pool one gets to swim in.

A man being insecure about his height is pretty much like shooting yourself on the foot. Who cares. You're still 2 to 5 times stronger than her, chill bro. You're still man enough for her to want you.

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