Ellener Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 4 hours ago, poppyfields said: Lorenza just go and play it out, its one date! Yes. What you're doing is what I do sometimes when really I know there's no long-term relationship likely but I don't want just sex and nothing else...saying that I know people who started their long-term relationships like that, with the lowest of initial expectations! Have a good time
Hopeful30 Posted June 19, 2020 Posted June 19, 2020 13 hours ago, Lorenza said: Nothing super serious, but an opinion is needed About a month ago I went out with a guy I really liked. We clicked on a very specific level. He messaged me directly after the date and said it was pretty amazing how we matched and that he had a great time. I said I never thought I'll meet someone who also likes [that thing] and he answered "suprise suprise!". Then nothing, radio silence for about 5 days. I tried sending him a link to a song, but no answer, so I got offended and unmatched him which I regretted later and thought I could have just written "hey whats up, shall we meet up again". Was too proud But I still think about him. Saw him on Tinder again once and swiped right, but he didn't and later he seem to have deleted his profile. He was fresh out of a relationship at the moment we met btw. He has however a peculiar name and when I typed it in Facebook he was the first one to pop up. This isn't a very big city either. I'm thinking of dropping him a message on Facebook, but maybe that's creepy? I also know where he hangs out, but that's probably even creepier also, I'd be embarassed to come forth. Should I not try contacting him and just let it go? He lost interest, isn't it obvious? Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? 3 1
Miss Spider Posted June 19, 2020 Posted June 19, 2020 To me it’s kind of like... what’s the point? When you stop talking to someone it means your interest in them wasn’t that high. If you chase them down hard enough, they might relent out of flattery or whatever ... but it won’t be genuine interest, otherwise they wouldn’t have faded out in the first place 2 2
poppyfields Posted June 19, 2020 Posted June 19, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, Hopeful30 said: He lost interest, isn't it obvious? Not so sure it is obvious. We have no idea what this guy is wanting or feeling, only he knows that. Things are rarely what they appear to be. Case in point: My dad had fallen madly in love with a girl at college but for whatever reason, he was too afraid to ask her out or even talk to her much (bless his heart, my dad was quite shy in his younger days). One would assume he had no interest in her at all! So she went and married another man! And my dad married my mom. Years later, the girl he lost divorced, my parents were also divorced, and being my dad was still in love with her, he made his move and a year later they got married and she became my stepmom. My point is nothing is ever obvious, ya just gotta take a risk. If it doesn't work out, so be. Live, learn, grow, evolve. Edited June 19, 2020 by poppyfields
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2020 Posted June 19, 2020 45 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: To me it’s kind of like... what’s the point? When you stop talking to someone it means your interest in them wasn’t that high. If you chase them down hard enough, they might relent out of flattery or whatever ... but it won’t be genuine interest, otherwise they wouldn’t have faded out in the first place I have to agree. Add to that the fact that he initially went quiet because he was still dealing with his break-up? (his words) This isn't a guy who just lost his nerve or got busy with work or some such thing. His mind is elsewhere and it's unlikely to be open to other women in the span of just a few weeks since they last met. If you need time to "finalize" your break-up, you're not in a place to date yet. I personally wouldn't bother. 3
Author Lorenza Posted June 20, 2020 Author Posted June 20, 2020 So we went out, had a really fun night fooling around the city, raising peole's eyebrows, singing. then went back to his place but nothing happened lol, as I apparently don't tolerate alcohol this well in this heat and fell instantly asleep. Or maybe I wasn't so wildly attracted to him as I imagined. In the morning he said he would like to date me and for me to delete my tinder profile to which I said it's way too soon for him to date someone seriously after just ending a relationship. He said he wouldn't want to let the opportunity pass by just because he's out of a relationship, as he almost did by taking too long to text me the first time. I promised to think it through, but I kinda feel like I already got him out my system yesterday, even though we didn't end up having sex so... I think I'll just suggest we stay friends. Cause he's really cool and all. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Lorenza said: In the morning he said he would like to date me and for me to delete my tinder profile to which I said it's way too soon for him to date someone seriously after just ending a relationship. He said he wouldn't want to let the opportunity pass by just because he's out of a relationship, as he almost did by taking too long to text me the first time. I promised to think it through, but I kinda feel like I already got him out my system yesterday, even though we didn't end up having sex so... I think I'll just suggest we stay friends. Cause he's really cool and all. I think you're wise to not take this further. This guy is rebounding. Hard. 2
Author Lorenza Posted June 20, 2020 Author Posted June 20, 2020 25 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I think you're wise to not take this further. This guy is rebounding. Hard. That's not what I wanted anyway 1
Miss Spider Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 What’s up with all the super desperate dudes on OLD xD & Sorry he wasn’t as cute in person.
Gaeta Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 I am glad you had fun. I think that now he's confirmed his interest the chase is over. I see it more as an ego-boost for yourself than anything else. 2
Miss Spider Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 (edited) xxxx Edited June 20, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Author Lorenza Posted June 20, 2020 Author Posted June 20, 2020 17 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: What’s up with all the super desperate dudes on OLD xD & Sorry he wasn’t as cute in person. He's cute in person! I've met him before yesterday too i think Gaeta is right, now the chase is over and I'm done thinking about him in that way. But maybe we'll become friends, im still relatively new in town and all my friends here are ex-tinder dates 1
Miss Spider Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 Haha Oh okay I thought that was your first meet. Hard to find someone who takes the pace just right... maybe you would have been interested if he played cards a little different. Oh well, you made a friend...
Interstellar Posted June 20, 2020 Posted June 20, 2020 On 6/18/2020 at 2:42 PM, Lorenza said: yeah I like those long haired, bearded heavy metal guys, rough accessories and all long haired, bearded...so basically John Wick. if you have room for a guy who’s a complete opposite and lives 100,000,000 miles away then I’m definitely your guy.
Author Lorenza Posted June 20, 2020 Author Posted June 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Interstellar said: long haired, bearded...so basically John Wick. if you have room for a guy who’s a complete opposite and lives 100,000,000 miles away then I’m definitely your guy. John Wick? Whats not exactly what you would call "heavy metal hot" Google Heri Joensen and you'll a pretty accurate picture of the guy in this thread (just with a fuller beard) and the type in general
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 21, 2020 Posted June 21, 2020 I was thinking Jason Momoa. Wait, I'm always thinking Jason Momoa.
Author Lorenza Posted June 21, 2020 Author Posted June 21, 2020 6 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I was thinking Jason Momoa. Wait, I'm always thinking Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa... now that's a treat for both eyes and soul 2
Gaeta Posted June 21, 2020 Posted June 21, 2020 20 hours ago, Lorenza said: Google Heri Joensen and you'll a pretty accurate picture of the guy in this thread (just with a fuller beard) and the type in general I've google Heri Joensen. Guys like him don't get to have pretty girls like you. He must have wondered where the cameras were hidden.
NuevoYorko Posted June 21, 2020 Posted June 21, 2020 20 hours ago, Lorenza said: Google Heri Joensen and you'll a pretty accurate picture of the guy in this thread (just with a fuller beard) and the type in general Did he wear a shirt on your dates?
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 22, 2020 Posted June 22, 2020 On 6/18/2020 at 2:53 PM, Interstellar said: that was a reply to all women who are in the looks don’t matter category. it does matter and there’s nothing wrong with admitting it. from the very beginning, guys have always been honest about looks and we’re visual creatures. anyway, I don’t want to derail this thread. back to our regularly scheduled programming. I can not believe this is still an argument when anyone can look around and see all the hooked up non-Brad Pitts. Do we want to be attracted? Duh, yes. That can mean a lot of things. Do young women in particular go more for looks and put up with more likewise shallowness cr*p than mature women (not old, mature - meaning, having had a few relationships and having gotten past the kindergarten illusion of Prince Charming)? Duh again. Unless you're going exclusively for 19-year-olds who are shallow then this isn't a "thing." I feel like the guys who complain about this crap endlessly ARE going for the giggle-giggle Instagram girls...but many of these guys sure aren't 19. So eew, and yeah, another duh right there. Do these girls want you, and not a hot guy their age? No. Evvvvvvvberybody else? Literally everywhere you go, everywhere you look, every family reunion...all the time? Uh, plain guys DO have girlfriends or wives who sure are about more than looks. Do women see the illusion of the gorgeous perfect guy in Hollywood get that tingle, fully knowing that in reality, it's always going to be about more than looks? Well, let's go for the duh trifecta, why not? Is it even possible that these "aha! See, 'women' are all shallow and that's why I can't 'get' one blinders-on beliefs really still exist? Really, honestly? It's mind-boggling. 1 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 22, 2020 Posted June 22, 2020 On 6/20/2020 at 4:57 AM, Lorenza said: He's cute in person! I've met him before yesterday too i think Gaeta is right, now the chase is over and I'm done thinking about him in that way. But maybe we'll become friends, im still relatively new in town and all my friends here are ex-tinder dates I think once you were just beginning to know him and you figured out he's a real person, not a bunch of stills catching his image in mid-rock out looking cool, but an average person like most people are, the fantasy died. I feel like you're looking for a fantasy, not a real relationship with a real person. You'll date some more and you'll grow up a little in due time (no need to rush it) and it will eventually click: it takes so much more than just "he looks/seems like my fantasy type" to keep your interest. For now, you're exploring, dating, having fun. Which is just as things should be. Enjoy this time. 1 1
Interstellar Posted June 23, 2020 Posted June 23, 2020 On 6/20/2020 at 3:06 PM, Lorenza said: Google Heri Joensen and you'll a pretty accurate picture of the guy in this thread (just with a fuller beard) and the type in general seems like a nice guy, he looks like he wears his nipples on his sleeves.
Grey40 Posted June 25, 2020 Posted June 25, 2020 (edited) You should really avoid people that are fresh out of a relationship on all accounts. The probability that they are over it are low. And even if they are over it or ended it themselves, they still haven’t taken the time to have Done the proper work on their inner selves and are almost always not really ready to open themselves up to someone new. 9/10 times it will end up as a rebound. They’ll either go back to the ex and ghost, or they’ll let their insecurities/ghosts from the previous relationship cloud their judgement and take it out on you, and it’ll just be toxic chaos. there’s that real rare 1% chance it works out, but life is too short to take those kinds of risks. They would really have to be perfect in almost every other possible way. Edited June 25, 2020 by Grey40
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