Creepy or not

[preraph]

If you insist.

[Lorenza]

Just now, Watercolors said:

Ok, you're 31 with an array of sexual experiences in your dating/relationships. That still doesn't mean you have high self esteem if all you want is causal sex. I'm no prude or nun, but casual sex never works out in practice the way it does in theory. You clearly have developed emotional feelings for this guy yet claim all you want is sex. You claim you and he have a special connection but that can't be true because he JUST broke up with his ex and you two haven't even been on a date. You just hung out and kissed. That's not special connection. That's two horny adults. I still stand by what I advised. I think you're secretly hoping he forgets about his ex and wants to jump into a relationship with you. Otherwise, how many men do you feel a special connection to, whom you want casual sex from. Nobody feels a special connection to their casual sex partners. That's just not reality. 

Well, tomorrow will show what kind of connection there is gonna be 

[poppyfields]

To be fair to the guy, he did want to reach out earlier but saw Lorenza had unmatched him, so not sure why some of you think he would want to bother after that. Which makes sense. 

So he figured if she's interested, she will reach out, which she did and now they have a date!  

Have fun Lorenza and let us know how it goes! 

 

Edited June 18, 2020 by poppyfields

[Lorenza]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

If you insist.

I don't insist, just saying 

Edited June 18, 2020 by Lorenza

[Lorenza]

Just now, poppyfields said:

To be fair to the guy, he did want to reach out earlier but saw Lorenza had unmatched him, so not sure he would want to bother after that. Which makes sense. 

So he figured if she's interested, she will reach out, which she did and now they have a date!  

Have fun Lorenza and let us know how it goes! 

 

Thanks!

[Azincourt]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

To be fair to the guy, he did want to reach out earlier but saw Lorenza had unmatched him, so not sure he would want to bother after that. Which makes sense. 

So he figured if she's interested, she will reach out, which she did and now they have a date!  

Have fun Lorenza and let us know how it goes! 

 

Yes, that's what I've been saying for the last few pages.

[Watercolors]

1 minute ago, Lorenza said:

I'm not worked up 

Of course you are. From your OP. You are going on and on about how hot he is, how anxious his ghosting made you feel for 5 days and then you got anxious and put your dating profile up again after you took it down, and then instead of waiting to hear from him, you texted him, demanding to know why he went silent on you. You snooped on his ex's social media and his, found out she's dating some other guy, snooping his dating profile and saying you want sex, you want a summer romance, you want intimacy. 

That's not someone who is calm, cool, or collect about a guy. You are definitely worked up. 

If dating is so easy for you, I think you need to stop and figure out what you really want from a guy for yourself. Otherwise, I don't think you will break this pattern of chasing unavailable guys like you are doing right now with this guy. If you really wanted just sex with this guy, you wouldn't have written that you bailed after just making out with him, when you two hung out. If you really have all of this sexual prowess, you would have initiated casual sex with him that night. Would you not? 

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

To be fair to the guy, he did want to reach out earlier but saw Lorenza had unmatched him, so not sure why some of you think he would want to bother after that. Which makes sense. 

 

Well......this guy is hot which means he's not lacking self-esteem and not intimidated  by a woman unmatching him. If he wanted sex with her that bad he wouldn't have blinked an eye and he would have text her. 

[Lorenza]

Just now, Watercolors said:

Of course you are. From your OP. You are going on and on about how hot he is, how anxious his ghosting made you feel for 5 days and then you got anxious and put your dating profile up again after you took it down, and then instead of waiting to hear from him, you texted him, demanding to know why he went silent on you. You snooped on his ex's social media and his, found out she's dating some other guy, snooping his dating profile and saying you want sex, you want a summer romance, you want intimacy. 

That's not someone who is calm, cool, or collect about a guy. You are definitely worked up. 

If dating is so easy for you, I think you need to stop and figure out what you really want from a guy for yourself. Otherwise, I don't think you will break this pattern of chasing unavailable guys like you are doing right now with this guy. If you really wanted just sex with this guy, you wouldn't have written that you bailed after just making out with him, when you two hung out. If you really have all of this sexual prowess, you would have initiated casual sex with him that night. Would you not? 

Huh? Where do I say that I was anxious? 

Well, you cannot know how I feel inside, so let's just leave it at that

[Lorenza]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

Well......this guy is hot which means he's not lacking self-esteem and not intimidated  by a woman unmatching him. If he wanted sex with her that bad he wouldn't have blinked an eye and he would have text her. 

oh no, not thaaat kind of hot, like heavy metal hot if you know what I mean

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, Lorenza said:

oh no, not thaaat kind of hot, like heavy metal hot if you know what I mean

Ahhhhhh! he's hot to YOU

 

[Watercolors]

7 hours ago, Lorenza said:

Nothing super serious, but an opinion is needed 

About a month ago I went out with a guy I really liked. We clicked on a very specific level. He messaged me directly after the date and said it was pretty amazing how we matched and that he had a great time. I said I never thought I'll meet someone who also likes [that thing] and he answered "suprise suprise!". 

Then nothing, radio silence for about 5 days. I tried sending him a link to a song, but no answer, so I got offended and unmatched him which I regretted later and thought I could have just written "hey whats up, shall we meet up again". Was too proud  

But I still think about him. Saw him on Tinder again once and swiped right, but he didn't and later he seem to have deleted his profile. He was fresh out of a relationship at the moment we met btw. 

He has however a peculiar name and when I typed it in Facebook he was the first one to pop up. This isn't a very big city either. I'm thinking of dropping him a message on Facebook, but maybe that's creepy? I also know where he hangs out, but that's probably even creepier also, I'd be embarassed to come forth. Should I not try contacting him and just let it go? 

Here's your first post. The anxiety I'm referring to is your last sentence in it. You are anxious about whether or not to try contacting him, worried it will come across as creepy if you do. You have been anxious about reconnecting with him without seeming too desperate or pushy. You're right though. I don't know what you are thinking. I can only go by what you write in your posts. 

[Lorenza]

4 minutes ago, Watercolors said:

Here's your first post. The anxiety I'm referring to is your last sentence in it. You are anxious about whether or not to try contacting him, worried it will come across as creepy if you do. You have been anxious about reconnecting with him without seeming too desperate or pushy. You're right though. I don't know what you are thinking. I can only go by what you write in your posts. 

Oh, ok

[Lorenza]

8 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Ahhhhhh! he's hot to YOU

 

yeah I like those long haired, bearded heavy metal guys, rough accessories and all  

[Azincourt]

17 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Well......this guy is hot which means he's not lacking self-esteem and not intimidated  by a woman unmatching him. If he wanted sex with her that bad he wouldn't have blinked an eye and he would have text her. 

Huh, being hot doesn't mean he doesn't suffer from low self-esteem.

There aren't women who are hot and have severely low self-esteem? Hello?  There's millions of them out there. At the same time you can be WELL above average,  you could even be hotter than 21th jump street  Johnny Depp, but when your friends are all 6'3'' to 6'6'' Giorgio Armani fashion models and you're just an average-looking model, you can feel ugly, as a man, you can feel unattractive. You can be nearly 200lbs at 10% body fat, and you can still feel small because you compete for roles with Vin Diesel and Ryan Gosling, and their star power intimidates you.

Seriously, don't make it seem like a guy can't suffer from low self-esteem just because he's hot. He's still human.

 

Edited June 18, 2020 by Azincourt

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, Lorenza said:

yeah I like those long haired, bearded heavy metal guys, rough accessories and all  

They're big softies inside. 

[poppyfields]

36 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Well......this guy is hot which means he's not lacking self-esteem and not intimidated  by a woman unmatching him. If he wanted sex with her that bad he wouldn't have blinked an eye and he would have text her. 

I think a lot of assumptions are being made, no one knows but him what he's feeling or thinking.

Especially the assumption that because he is hot, he should not care that Lorenza unmatched him.

I dunno that makes no sense to me.

Lorenza just go and play it out, its one date! 

[Gaeta]

Lorenza: We will be looking for an update tomorrow !

[Azincourt]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I think a lot of assumptions are being made, no one knows but him what he's feeling or thinking.

Especially the assumption that because he is hot, he should not care that Lorenza unmatched him.

I dunno that makes no sense to me.

Lorenza just go and play it out, its one date! 

Exactly. Oh, he's hot. Like hot men don't get rejected or dumped, or that because a guy is hot he has 100000 victoria's secret models in their early 20s throwing themselves at the guy.  We're taking about a hot guy,  not about a 50 year old Leonardo Dicaprio here.

Lots of hot men have struggle with self-esteem and with their body-image, but overall people don't care much about Men's mental health.

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

Sometimes stuff comes up.  Or you got work tomorrow and you get up at 5AM. Or your tummy is giving you trouble. Or you have to walk the dog. That can easily spread to 1, 2, or 5 days.

This guy quite literally told her himself that he was finalizing his break-up. So, the reasons you listed above don't apply in this specific case. 

OP, keep in mind that just a few weeks ago he was so bent out of shape about his break-up that he went silent on you. I would keep you expectations very, very low. 

[Interstellar]

4 hours ago, Lorenza said:

He's reaaally hot also

but....but women aren’t into looks, as long as the guy is kind and has a good heart he’s really brad pitt handsome even though he looks like dennis franz.

Edited June 18, 2020 by Interstellar

[Azincourt]

8 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

but....but women aren’t into looks, as long as the guy is kind and has a good heart he’s really brad pitt handsome even though he looks like dennis franz.

Yeah... you might want to take a trip to the nightclubs in Spain, France, Portugal. Women approach men all the time looking for sex based on the dude's looks. Or perceived masculinity. Or they've gone without it for some time and this dude looks like he showers daily.

[Interstellar]

5 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Yeah... you might want to take a trip to the nightclubs in Spain, France, Portugal. Women approach men all the time looking for sex based on the dude's looks. Or perceived masculinity. Or they've gone without it for some time and this dude looks like he showers daily.

that was a reply to all women who are in the looks don’t matter category. it does matter and there’s nothing wrong with admitting it. from the very beginning, guys have always been honest about looks and we’re visual creatures.

anyway, I don’t want to derail this thread. back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Edited June 18, 2020 by Interstellar

[Azincourt]

18 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

that was a reply to all women who are in the looks don’t matter category. it does matter and there’s nothing wrong with admitting it. from the very beginning, guys have always been honest about looks and we’re visual creatures.

anyway, I don’t want to derail this thread. back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Women are also honest about looks. Young women are at the very least. They make their attraction to the guy known, either by being forward with what they want, or by giving more signals than a lighthouse.  The reason why women say that looks don't matter, the ones who say that, is because women are very caring by nature and they don't want to hurt people's feelings by saying, ''YO DUDE HIT THE GYM HARD, GIVE ME 200 PUSH-UPS NO'' or, '' bro, you're balding, better just shave that and get fancy in other ways.''

Edited June 18, 2020 by Azincourt

[SumGuy]

3 hours ago, Gaeta said:

They're big softies inside. 

For the right person...trust who you are, then nothing else matters