Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Nothing super serious, but an opinion is needed About a month ago I went out with a guy I really liked. We clicked on a very specific level. He messaged me directly after the date and said it was pretty amazing how we matched and that he had a great time. I said I never thought I'll meet someone who also likes [that thing] and he answered "suprise suprise!". Then nothing, radio silence for about 5 days. I tried sending him a link to a song, but no answer, so I got offended and unmatched him which I regretted later and thought I could have just written "hey whats up, shall we meet up again". Was too proud But I still think about him. Saw him on Tinder again once and swiped right, but he didn't and later he seem to have deleted his profile. He was fresh out of a relationship at the moment we met btw. He has however a peculiar name and when I typed it in Facebook he was the first one to pop up. This isn't a very big city either. I'm thinking of dropping him a message on Facebook, but maybe that's creepy? I also know where he hangs out, but that's probably even creepier also, I'd be embarassed to come forth. Should I not try contacting him and just let it go?
Blind-Sided Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) Unfortunately... he made his choice. He stopped contacting you. As s***ty as it is... Ghosting seems to be the norm on OLD'ing. So, yes... it's creepy and stolker-ish to contact him on FB. (sorry) Edited June 18, 2020 by Blind-Sided 1
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: Unfortunately... he made his choice. He stopped contacting you. As s***ty as it is... Ghosting seems to be the norm on OLD'ing. So, yes... it's creepy and stolker-ish to contact him on FB. (sorry) ugh, I cant get him of my mind, my other dates seem so boring. But yeah, he wouldnt have stopped contacting me if he wanted to 1
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 44 minutes ago, Lorenza said: I said I never thought I'll meet someone who also likes [that thing] and he answered "suprise suprise!". Then nothing, radio silence for about 5 days. I guess he didn't really like [that thing] after all, so he bailed. 2
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 Just now, elaine567 said: I guess he didn't really like [that thing] after all, so he bailed. Oh he did, as he knew every little detail about it im guessing bailed due to recent breakup. That week we met he was about to drive his ex cat to her. Probably feelings hit. I saw loads of their common pictures on fb 1
chillii Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Nah , ya can't really do anymore . He's gotten sidetracked whether it be ex or someone or nothing but he knows he can reach you if he really wants to. 2
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Lorenza said: I'm thinking of dropping him a message on Facebook, but maybe that's creepy? Yes totally creepy. He was probably not seperated at all, or he's back with his ex. Move on quick, don't linger on this guy 2
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Although you are hung up on him, he, unfortunately, is not interested in you. He's making that very clear. You need to move on. Sorry. 2
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 15 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Although you are hung up on him, he, unfortunately, is not interested in you. He's making that very clear. You need to move on. Sorry. Its fine, no need to feel sorry, I have dates almost every night this month. none were as cool though! maaaybe someone as cool will come along again 3
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 17 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Yes totally creepy. He was probably not seperated at all, or he's back with his ex. Move on quick, don't linger on this guy she is with another guy, also someone I also chatted with on tinder! He added me on Fb, and then 3 days after was in relationship with her haha . It seems like a tight circle for us all to date
Ruby Slippers Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Yeah, unfortunately, he's not into you, so it's time to move on.
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 Eh, I wrote anyway asked him why he never wrote afterwards. He answered that he had a tough week finalizing the breakup and was going to write to me again when he felt better, but then discovered I unmatched him. We will meet tomorrow lol 3
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Lorenza said: . He answered that he had a tough week finalizing the breakup and was going to write to me again when he felt better So, in other words, you were out of his mind. Now you have a date with a man you needed to remind you exist. He's still dealing with finalizing a break up, it's not the best candidate Lorenza, you know that right. Edited June 18, 2020 by Gaeta 3
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Well you are getting what you wanted another date but be careful & guard your heart. You are already invested while he is still wrapped up in his past. I fear you are going to get hurt. 1
smackie9 Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) Fresh out of relationship....big red flag. Edited June 18, 2020 by smackie9 2
Azincourt Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 3 hours ago, Lorenza said: Nothing super serious, but an opinion is needed About a month ago I went out with a guy I really liked. We clicked on a very specific level. He messaged me directly after the date and said it was pretty amazing how we matched and that he had a great time. I said I never thought I'll meet someone who also likes [that thing] and he answered "suprise suprise!". Then nothing, radio silence for about 5 days. I tried sending him a link to a song, but no answer, so I got offended and unmatched him which I regretted later and thought I could have just written "hey whats up, shall we meet up again". Was too proud But I still think about him. Saw him on Tinder again once and swiped right, but he didn't and later he seem to have deleted his profile. He was fresh out of a relationship at the moment we met btw. He has however a peculiar name and when I typed it in Facebook he was the first one to pop up. This isn't a very big city either. I'm thinking of dropping him a message on Facebook, but maybe that's creepy? I also know where he hangs out, but that's probably even creepier also, I'd be embarassed to come forth. Should I not try contacting him and just let it go? It's not creepy at all. Drop him a facebook message and then wait it out. If he replies, and wants to go out with you, awesome. If not - move on.
Watercolors Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Lorenza said: Eh, I wrote anyway asked him why he never wrote afterwards. He answered that he had a tough week finalizing the breakup and was going to write to me again when he felt better, but then discovered I unmatched him. We will meet tomorrow lol Why are you chasing this guy? What do you want from him? You shouldn't have to chase someone to date you. That's a sign of low self esteem. Edited June 18, 2020 by Watercolors 1
Azincourt Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 21 minutes ago, Watercolors said: Why are you chasing this guy? What do you want from him? You shouldn't have to chase someone to date you. That's a sign of low self esteem. Chasing someone doesn't mean low self-esteem. It means you either want to sleep with that person, quite a bit, or you are smitten and you want to get in a relationship with that someone. It took 3 years until my great-grandmother said yes to a date with my great-grandfather. Dude was chasing after her like prime age Mohammed Ali was telling him he was gonna get beaten up if Grandma said no. They were married for 70 years. Until they died. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Lorenza said: Eh, I wrote anyway asked him why he never wrote afterwards. He answered that he had a tough week finalizing the breakup and was going to write to me again when he felt better, but then discovered I unmatched him. We will meet tomorrow lol This is really not a good idea. This dude was evidently so overwhelmed with his break-up that he went silent on you. You're setting yourself up as a distraction for him while he heals or checks out other options. That can't really be how you want to present yourself, is it? Nor the sort of guy who is actually ready to date? Edited June 18, 2020 by ExpatInItaly
Calmandfocused Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 (edited) There was so many mistakes made here I’m not sure whether redemption is even possible. Some men have this ridiculous (in my opinion) notion that you wait a week to contact a woman after the first date. Apparently it builds attraction or something like that. Not with me unfortunately but that’s a different topic. However Instead of being cool about it and waiting you act needy, emotional, moody and desperate. You can’t even cover your tracks as it’s now blatantly obvious how much you want him. You’ve just given all the control to him. I agree with the others. He’s “meh” about you but is probably seeing you again for an ego boost. He’s just out of a relationship. He is not emotionally available for you. Keep looking is my advice. Edited June 18, 2020 by Calmandfocused 3
Watercolors Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 42 minutes ago, Azincourt said: Chasing someone doesn't mean low self-esteem. It means you either want to sleep with that person, quite a bit, or you are smitten and you want to get in a relationship with that someone. It took 3 years until my great-grandmother said yes to a date with my great-grandfather. Dude was chasing after her like prime age Mohammed Ali was telling him he was gonna get beaten up if Grandma said no. They were married for 70 years. Until they died. Yes it means low self esteem when the person you are chasing has ghosted/ignored you. Health relationships happen when both people want the same thing. This guy just literally broke up with his ex. He is probably doing online dating to look for a rebound, to help him emotionally get over his ex. That's what most guys do. You shouldn't stalk someone's social media or text them after they've ignored you. 1
Azincourt Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Just now, Watercolors said: Yes it means low self esteem when the person you are chasing has ghosted/ignored you. Health relationships happen when both people want the same thing. This guy just literally broke up with his ex. He is probably doing online dating to look for a rebound, to help him emotionally get over his ex. That's what most guys do. You shouldn't stalk someone's social media or text them after they've ignored you. How do you know what most guys do? Do you know most guys? Maybe this guy is into her but he wants to see if she wants to put the work in? There was a woman in college who I waited 4 years before she gathered the courage to come up to me and say hi. I wanted to see how much she wanted me.
Watercolors Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 3 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: There was so many mistakes made here I’m not sure whether redemption is even possible. Some men have this ridiculous (in my opinion) notion that you wait a week to contact a woman after the first date. Apparently it builds attraction or something like that. Not with me unfortunately but that’s a different topic. However Instead of being cool about it and waiting you act needy, emotional, moody and desperate. You can’t even cover your tracks as it’s now blatantly obvious how much you want him. You’ve just given all the control to him. I agree with the others. He’s “meh” about you but is probably seeing you again for an ego boost. He’s just out of a relationship. He is not emotionally available for you. Keep looking is my advice. This. Exactly.
Author Lorenza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Posted June 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Watercolors said: Why are you chasing this guy? What do you want from him? You shouldn't have to chase someone to date you. That's a sign of low self esteem. He's reaaally hot also 1
Watercolors Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 Just now, Lorenza said: He's reaaally hot also Hey, I remember when I was your age. But like the others have pointed out to you, you are setting yourself up here to get hurt with this guy in the long run. He's not emotionally available to you -- if that is what you are looking for. At most, you may just be a rebound for him. I mean, he just broke up with his ex. He's not even close to ready for another relationship. And never chase a guy. That gives him all the power when you do that.
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