Too serious, too fast?

[CuriousKite]

Hi everyone, excited to be joining your community!

I'm 25 y.o. male. I'm introverted and can be shy around people I do not know – maybe that's why I don't have much experience. Half a year ago, my current girlfriend came into my life. Before meeting her, I only had one relationship – which was pretty toxic. The girl I met is three years younger than me and about as experienced. Initially, we both went on Tinder without looking for anything serious. However, we cannot tell our hearts whom to love.

After we dated for a month, the quarantine came. We decided to get locked up together at my place. That was an entirely new experience for me. I never lived with other people – except my parents – for so long. My first sex happened during that time. We had a lot of fun. We cooked together, played board games, went out to play ping-pong, traveled to other cities when the quarantine permitted. We explored sexual life together. It was going well. She turned out to be a sweet, easy-going person whom I feel I can trust. In the household matters, we were able to live with each other in peace and always found a common ground.

Six weeks of living together went by. I felt something was off. I was missing my old life alone. I was missing the time of lying on my bed, watching youtube videos, masturbating to porn. These seemingly wasteful activities, turns out, were vital to my work and life, as I used to relax and think my life through while doing them. I started to feel like my life is falling apart. It all went from zero to 100 too fast.

When I told her I want to break up, I expected her to break into tears. Instead, she was asking questions, in a very calm, though sad, voice. We talked. We agreed that the problem is not the relationship but a lack of personal space. She was ready to give me it. We started to live with each other for half a week only. When we see each other, we travel, have fun, get sexually adventurous, play games. And when she's not here, I can go back to my introverted self, focus on getting my life in order and doing work.

During the time I've been knowing her, I came to know her as a sweet, smart, caring, cute person I can trust. I feel comfortable around her – if I get the me-time once in a while. She frequently gives me wise advice. I think we love each other – we certainly say so to each other.

The paradise is not going to last, however. In a month, her internship is over and she will go to study on the other side of the world. It will take her two years to complete her studies and we are not sure how it is going to work for us – but she says she's ready to wait.

I have a problem, however. With time, I started to look more and more at other girls. One side of me loves my girlfriend. The other half of me wants to sleep around with random women at loud parties. One side of me wants to build something we both can call home with my girl. The other side – wants to take a vacation and date around at exotic resorts.

I may be shy and introverted – but I'm also young and super-eager to explore around. I want that thrill of playing the game, exploring different people, going to bed with a stranger. I do not want to settle down yet. When my girl is not around, I install Tinder again. I do not chat with anyone – but I swipe and look at the pictures and fantasize. I keep telling myself that this is wrong and I won't find much more in other women, so there is little to explore. But I don't believe it. I can't help it. I want it.

One side of me doesn't want to lose a good person. The other side – doesn't want to lose several years of my youth. It just became too serious, too early, and I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

[Amanda141]

Hello and welcome to the forum! 
 

I am around your age and I can understand how you feel, and I appreciate that you took the time to talk and be honest with your girl, without leading her on. 
I also think it certainly happened too soon, too fast. Without the covid, I doubt you and her would have ended up living together. It was all so unexpected and probably you weren’t ready. I also wouldn’t be 100% comfortable by living with someone who was a stranger for me just a month before. Everyone needs their “me time” doing things that on the surface may seem shallow or unimportant, but in reality are essential to our well being.

if I were you, I’d tell her that, while you like her very much (I feel “love” is too much of a big word in this case, especially since you’re looking around), you do not feel it’s quite the time to settle down. Plus, she is going to live on the other side of the world... I would just go with the flow, enjoy my time with her (if she’s okay with that) and tell her that for now you don’t feel it’s right to be exclusive. 
 

everyone goes at his own pace, and while someone may feel right to settle down at 25, someone would feel this at 30,35 and so forth. There is no right or wrong

hope everything goes well!

Amanda

[Gaeta]

This young woman was your first and will always remain special but you are far from being ready to settle in a serious relatoinship and wait 2 years. You have things to discover and experience. Once you satisfy that need, could take a year or 5, only then you will feel a strong desire to settle. 

Now, you being back on Tinder  without telling her is extremely disloyal. Do not be that kind of person. Break up with her, you will both survive and move on to something better suited to both of you. Be a man, don't be a coward, break up.

[Ami1uwant]

My advice..from a guy who like you is more introverted and shy when it comes to relationships.

 

you sound like you have something very special.  You lived together so you have an idea of how you are together

 

but you are both young and formative and still learning what you are as a person and what you really want.  

 

She is going away for two years.  Communication will be hard. You can end it when she leaves but you coukd still have contact like if she is back in town.

 

ill be honest..how did you meet her? From my first hand knowledge it will likely be difficult for you to meet other people unless you are in an environment to easily meet peop,e regularly like thru friends. I bet her relationship didn’t happen that one day but over some time of seeing each other before having a first date.  Yes you have dating apps but those are unreliable.

[Hopeful30]

1 hour ago, CuriousKite said:

Hi everyone, excited to be joining your community!

I'm 25 y.o. male. I'm introverted and can be shy around people I do not know – maybe that's why I don't have much experience. Half a year ago, my current girlfriend came into my life. Before meeting her, I only had one relationship – which was pretty toxic. The girl I met is three years younger than me and about as experienced. Initially, we both went on Tinder without looking for anything serious. However, we cannot tell our hearts whom to love.

After we dated for a month, the quarantine came. We decided to get locked up together at my place. That was an entirely new experience for me. I never lived with other people – except my parents – for so long. My first sex happened during that time. We had a lot of fun. We cooked together, played board games, went out to play ping-pong, traveled to other cities when the quarantine permitted. We explored sexual life together. It was going well. She turned out to be a sweet, easy-going person whom I feel I can trust. In the household matters, we were able to live with each other in peace and always found a common ground.

Six weeks of living together went by. I felt something was off. I was missing my old life alone. I was missing the time of lying on my bed, watching youtube videos, masturbating to porn. These seemingly wasteful activities, turns out, were vital to my work and life, as I used to relax and think my life through while doing them. I started to feel like my life is falling apart. It all went from zero to 100 too fast.

When I told her I want to break up, I expected her to break into tears. Instead, she was asking questions, in a very calm, though sad, voice. We talked. We agreed that the problem is not the relationship but a lack of personal space. She was ready to give me it. We started to live with each other for half a week only. When we see each other, we travel, have fun, get sexually adventurous, play games. And when she's not here, I can go back to my introverted self, focus on getting my life in order and doing work.

During the time I've been knowing her, I came to know her as a sweet, smart, caring, cute person I can trust. I feel comfortable around her – if I get the me-time once in a while. She frequently gives me wise advice. I think we love each other – we certainly say so to each other.

The paradise is not going to last, however. In a month, her internship is over and she will go to study on the other side of the world. It will take her two years to complete her studies and we are not sure how it is going to work for us – but she says she's ready to wait.

I have a problem, however. With time, I started to look more and more at other girls. One side of me loves my girlfriend. The other half of me wants to sleep around with random women at loud parties. One side of me wants to build something we both can call home with my girl. The other side – wants to take a vacation and date around at exotic resorts.

I may be shy and introverted – but I'm also young and super-eager to explore around. I want that thrill of playing the game, exploring different people, going to bed with a stranger. I do not want to settle down yet. When my girl is not around, I install Tinder again. I do not chat with anyone – but I swipe and look at the pictures and fantasize. I keep telling myself that this is wrong and I won't find much more in other women, so there is little to explore. But I don't believe it. I can't help it. I want it.

One side of me doesn't want to lose a good person. The other side – doesn't want to lose several years of my youth. It just became too serious, too early, and I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

This is not uncommon. You did not transition into a living arrangement and serious relationship, you jumped straight into one. What you describe about wanting your old life back is normal. This is also one of the reasons it's harder to date as you get older. You become accustomed to doing thing your way, so adjusting your lifestyle to include another person fulltime (including kids) is difficult.

You don't need to decide everything now. Keep in touch, don't make any promises, and see how things go. Maybe you will get back together when she returns and live happily ever after. Maybe you will fall in love with someone else in the meantime. Don't deprive yourself of sexual expression and being free in your youth. Nothing is certain, and if it's meant to be, you will naturally gravitate towards each other again.

That being said, I can relate to you. I have been single for many years, and it breaks my heart because I wanted to spend these years with a man, making memories, enjoying him while my body was young and plump, and I had the energy and freedom to travel and be social. Now I'm working full time, in school part time, and have commitments like a mortgage, which is why I no longer travel and don't have the energy to go out most weekends. My most beautiful life experiences are not shared with a special someone. Literally I was alone in all my travels, accomplishments, etc. Nothing wrong with that, but never what I wanted. If I had the opportunity to spend those years with someone, I would not hesitate for a second! Unlike me, you have the opportunity to explore and be sexually adventurous, don't deprive yourself of that.

[smackie9]

let her go...and I'm assuming she knows this will end. When she's gone for awhile, you will miss her a bit but will resume your life. As for exploring your options, that is a good idea. It may not happen over night, and women don't simply drop into your lap, so this may encourage you to be more out going. Confidence wins the girl.

Don't get so hung up on this girl. You will someday meet someone who is way more amazing, and your ex will be a distant memory. Letting go doesn't lose opportunity, it gains more opportunity.

Edited June 17, 2020 by smackie9

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Welcome!  I think this will probably work itself out all on its own because she will be far away for two years.  If it's meant to be,  you two will find each other after that.......after you've had a chance to sow your wild oats.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to do the kind thing and break it off with her. 

You’re already browsing Tinder again when she’s not around. That’s not cool, man. It’s your cue that you’re not ready for a relationship yet. That’s understandable, given that you don’t have much experience with women and dating yet. But it’s not okay to peruse the options while she believes you’re in a relationship. 

Don’t wait until she catches you on the app somehow. Man up and respectfully part ways with her. 

[ShyViolet]

You are never going to be happy until you get the chance to experience what is out there, date around, experience what it's like to be with different people. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date around.  If you get into a long distance relationship with this girl, you are definitely going to cheat.  So just don't set yourself up for failure.  When she has to go away, you should definitely break up.  Just tell her that a long distance relationship is too hard, but you do want to remain in touch and see what may happen in the future.  Don't set yourself up for an unrealistic expectation of having to remain faithful to someone for 2 years who you can't even be with in person, when you know that you want to date around.  

[contel3]

I don't intend to sound mean, but as someone who experimented a lot posts like this make me roll my eyes.  

Real life isn't like the movies where single guys can pick from a buffet of willing women, partying it up 4 times a week....most guys, especially if they're shy will experience a lot of rejection and go long times without any kind of intimacy. If you do experiment a lot, that comes with a whole other set of problems (disappointing people, feeling bad about how you treat people, about how they treat you, bad sexual experiences...)

I don't think you should stay in your relationship, but you should at least be realistic about what you're in for.

[ShyViolet]

18 minutes ago, contel3 said:

I don't intend to sound mean, but as someone who experimented a lot posts like this make me roll my eyes.  

Real life isn't like the movies where single guys can pick from a buffet of willing women, partying it up 4 times a week....most guys, especially if they're shy will experience a lot of rejection and go long times without any kind of intimacy. If you do experiment a lot, that comes with a whole other set of problems (disappointing people, feeling bad about how you treat people, about how they treat you, bad sexual experiences...)

I don't think you should stay in your relationship, but you should at least be realistic about what you're in for.

I'm not sure what you mean.  Dating around, experiencing being with other people, is a thing.  Especially for someone who is 25.  When I was 25 it's what I certainly did, and felt like I needed to do.  It doesn't mean you have a buffet of people to choose from, or that you are constantly going home with people all the time.  

[CuriousKite]

Thanks everyone for your replies! You're right, I can't escape my nature at the end of the day. Nor should I. I'm going to enjoy and take the most out of the month we'll have together. Giving her love and sharing good time without making promises. It's hard since she doesn't want to lose me and is constantly trying to build plans for the future. But she also understands when I say I can't make concrete plans and wanted to live in the moment.

Honestly, I'm a bit tired of this relationship. I feel no longer satisfied by it, no thrill anymore. So a part of me is looking forward to what comes next, even though I'm trying to enjoy the moment.

Edited June 18, 2020 by CuriousKite

[contel3]

7 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

I'm not sure what you mean.  Dating around, experiencing being with other people, is a thing.  Especially for someone who is 25.  When I was 25 it's what I certainly did, and felt like I needed to do.  It doesn't mean you have a buffet of people to choose from, or that you are constantly going home with people all the time.  

Oh I think we probably mean the same thing. I know a lot of men who romanticize single life as some kind of sexual paradise where you bed one new woman a week.... Not very realistic.

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating around. 

[ExpatInItaly]

13 minutes ago, CuriousKite said:

Thanks everyone for your replies! You're right, I can't escape my nature at the end of the day. Nor should I. I'm going to enjoy and take the most out of the month we'll have together. Giving her love and sharing good time without making promises. It's hard since she doesn't want to lose me and is constantly trying to build plans for the future. But she also understands when I say I can't make concrete plans and wanted to live in the moment.

Honestly, I'm a bit tired of this relationship. I feel no longer satisfied by it, no thrill anymore. So a part of me is looking forward to what comes next, even though I'm trying to enjoy the moment.

I don't think this is fair. 

She is going to believe you're working towards a future together if you stay. You're essentially just riding it out until she is gone, though. It doesn't matter if you don't make promises - you'll indirectly be giving her false hope, which will make breaking up that much more painful for her. 

Don't be that guy. 

[CuriousKite]

3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

She is going to believe you're working towards a future together if you stay

Well I told her explicitly earlier that I do not know how it will unfold after she leaves and I am not going to make any promises. I told her I'm not making any plans for the future, am enjoying the moment while it lasts and would also suggest her to do that.

What I meant is that we will see how it unfolds with time. I'm also confused and am not ready to make a decision I'd be calm with just yet. Some things just take time. Most probably things will resolve themselves naturally when she leaves.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, CuriousKite said:

Well I told her explicitly earlier that I do not know how it will unfold after she leaves and I am not going to make any promises. I told her I'm not making any plans for the future, am enjoying the moment while it lasts and would also suggest her to do that.

Did you also explicitly tell her you're window-shopping on Tinder when she's not around?

 

Edited June 18, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[Gaeta]

3 hours ago, CuriousKite said:

Well I told her explicitly earlier that I do not know how it will unfold after she leaves and I am not going to make any promises. I told her I'm not making any plans for the future, am enjoying the moment while it lasts and would also suggest her to do that.

What I meant is that we will see how it unfolds with time. I'm also confused and am not ready to make a decision I'd be calm with just yet. Some things just take time. Most probably things will resolve themselves naturally when she leaves.

Listen to a bunch of women here, more time you spend with her more she is building hopes that your relationship will last the long haul. YES even if you're not making long term plans and you told her you want to live in the moment. As long as you keep being in her life she will live in hope, this is how people in love function. 

You  have admitted to us that you're tired of this relationship so stop beating around the bush and break up! What you're doing is *use* her for the little time left because you don't want to be alone, it's selfish and cruel to her. 

 

[Watercolors]

7 hours ago, CuriousKite said:

Well I told her explicitly earlier that I do not know how it will unfold after she leaves and I am not going to make any promises. I told her I'm not making any plans for the future, am enjoying the moment while it lasts and would also suggest her to do that.

What I meant is that we will see how it unfolds with time. I'm also confused and am not ready to make a decision I'd be calm with just yet. Some things just take time. Most probably things will resolve themselves naturally when she leaves.

It would have been kinder of you to be direct and honest with her instead that you do not want a relationship with her...ever. 
Things do not take time when it comes to deciding if you want to be in a relationship with someone.
You either know that you do, or you know that you don't. 
Things will not resolve themselves naturally when she leaves. You have to tell her right now, that you do not want a relationship. If you are hoping she will leave and forget about the 6 weeks you lived together, life doesn't work like that. Unless she agreed with you in the beginning, that this is just a temporary living situation where you two will not continue any contact after she leaves. 

[Watercolors]

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Did you also explicitly tell her you're window-shopping on Tinder when she's not around?

 

This. ^^ You cannot say you aren't sure what you want from her long-term. If you really wanted to be in a serious relationship with her, you wouldn't be on Tinder. Please respect her feelings and tell her that you do not want a serious relationship with her. You owe her that. 

[Ruby Slippers]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

What you're doing is *use* her for the little time left because you don't want to be alone, it's selfish and cruel to her. 

This. Don't be this guy.

Tell her how you really feel and let her go so she can heal from this and move on to someone who can really love her and be there for her.

[Miss Spider]

On 6/17/2020 at 9:03 AM, CuriousKite said:

Hi everyone, excited to be joining your community!

I'm 25 y.o. male. I'm introverted and can be shy around people I do not know – maybe that's why I don't have much experience. Half a year ago, my current girlfriend came into my life. Before meeting her, I only had one relationship – which was pretty toxic. The girl I met is three years younger than me and about as experienced. Initially, we both went on Tinder without looking for anything serious. However, we cannot tell our hearts whom to love.

After we dated for a month, the quarantine came. We decided to get locked up together at my place. That was an entirely new experience for me. I never lived with other people – except my parents – for so long. My first sex happened during that time. We had a lot of fun. We cooked together, played board games, went out to play ping-pong, traveled to other cities when the quarantine permitted. We explored sexual life together. It was going well. She turned out to be a sweet, easy-going person whom I feel I can trust. In the household matters, we were able to live with each other in peace and always found a common ground.

Six weeks of living together went by. I felt something was off. I was missing my old life alone. I was missing the time of lying on my bed, watching youtube videos, masturbating to porn. These seemingly wasteful activities, turns out, were vital to my work and life, as I used to relax and think my life through while doing them. I started to feel like my life is falling apart. It all went from zero to 100 too fast.

When I told her I want to break up, I expected her to break into tears. Instead, she was asking questions, in a very calm, though sad, voice. We talked. We agreed that the problem is not the relationship but a lack of personal space. She was ready to give me it. We started to live with each other for half a week only. When we see each other, we travel, have fun, get sexually adventurous, play games. And when she's not here, I can go back to my introverted self, focus on getting my life in order and doing work.

During the time I've been knowing her, I came to know her as a sweet, smart, caring, cute person I can trust. I feel comfortable around her – if I get the me-time once in a while. She frequently gives me wise advice. I think we love each other – we certainly say so to each other.

The paradise is not going to last, however. In a month, her internship is over and she will go to study on the other side of the world. It will take her two years to complete her studies and we are not sure how it is going to work for us – but she says she's ready to wait.

I have a problem, however. With time, I started to look more and more at other girls. One side of me loves my girlfriend. The other half of me wants to sleep around with random women at loud parties. One side of me wants to build something we both can call home with my girl. The other side – wants to take a vacation and date around at exotic resorts.

I may be shy and introverted – but I'm also young and super-eager to explore around. I want that thrill of playing the game, exploring different people, going to bed with a stranger. I do not want to settle down yet. When my girl is not around, I install Tinder again. I do not chat with anyone – but I swipe and look at the pictures and fantasize. I keep telling myself that this is wrong and I won't find much more in other women, so there is little to explore. But I don't believe it. I can't help it. I want it.

One side of me doesn't want to lose a good person. The other side – doesn't want to lose several years of my youth. It just became too serious, too early, and I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

Hey I miss the same thing when I’m in a rship. Plus you are young and she was your first. It’s only normal to want to explore more. I think though that for some people that desire to be free is always present. You may or not be one of those. Break up with her and sow your wild oats first so you know. It’s not fair for either of you to keeping going when you feel that way 

[CuriousKite]

How would you suggest to tell her? Thing is, stuff has been really good between us. We meet every weekend and have a lot of fun together going out. We treat each other well. It's just that she treats our relationship very seriously while I'm not. So I'm afraid if I break up with her, it'll be out of the blue for her and she'll get hurt. I'm afraid it'll be a trauma for her and she'll stop trusting people. Like, you can be in a very good relationship and it can suddenly end without a warning.

 

It is also so hard for me to do it because she's been such a child around me. Keeps clinging to me saying things like "I don't want to lose you", "you're my family". I just can't bring myself to break her dream.

Edited June 22, 2020 by CuriousKite

[ExpatInItaly]

8 minutes ago, CuriousKite said:

How would you suggest to tell her? Thing is, stuff has been really good between us. We meet every weekend and have a lot of fun together going out. We treat each other well. It's just that she treats our relationship very seriously while I'm not. So I'm afraid if I break up with her, it'll be out of the blue for her and she'll get hurt. I'm afraid it'll be a trauma for her and she'll stop trusting people. Like, you can be in a very good relationship and it can suddenly end without a warning.

But she already knows you're not exactly in a very good relationship. 

You've broken up with her once before. This isn't going to come out of the clear blue sky for her, OP.  Yes, it will hurt, but you're over-estimating your importance in her life if you believe this will be a trauma she just can't get over. She will, just like most dumpees eventually do. I promise you she already knows this relationship isn't on steady ground, especially if you've told her you can't make any promises for the future. 

The other thing to keep in mind is that you're not treating her very well if you're still looking around on Tinder. She just doesn't know you're disrespecting her, but the disrespect is still there, man. 

The kindest thing to do is be honest that you aren't at a point in your life to commit to a relationship. Not only in the future when she leaves, but also now in the present. You know you're not committed to her, in your heart of hearts. Don't be the guy that keeps a girl around just for fun while she mistakenly believe you're building a future together. It's not honest and it's not fair to her. 

[Roswell91]

On 6/17/2020 at 2:03 PM, CuriousKite said:

Hi everyone, excited to be joining your community!

I'm 25 y.o. male. I'm introverted and can be shy around people I do not know – maybe that's why I don't have much experience. Half a year ago, my current girlfriend came into my life. Before meeting her, I only had one relationship – which was pretty toxic. The girl I met is three years younger than me and about as experienced. Initially, we both went on Tinder without looking for anything serious. However, we cannot tell our hearts whom to love.

After we dated for a month, the quarantine came. We decided to get locked up together at my place. That was an entirely new experience for me. I never lived with other people – except my parents – for so long. My first sex happened during that time. We had a lot of fun. We cooked together, played board games, went out to play ping-pong, traveled to other cities when the quarantine permitted. We explored sexual life together. It was going well. She turned out to be a sweet, easy-going person whom I feel I can trust. In the household matters, we were able to live with each other in peace and always found a common ground.

Six weeks of living together went by. I felt something was off. I was missing my old life alone. I was missing the time of lying on my bed, watching youtube videos, masturbating to porn. These seemingly wasteful activities, turns out, were vital to my work and life, as I used to relax and think my life through while doing them. I started to feel like my life is falling apart. It all went from zero to 100 too fast.

When I told her I want to break up, I expected her to break into tears. Instead, she was asking questions, in a very calm, though sad, voice. We talked. We agreed that the problem is not the relationship but a lack of personal space. She was ready to give me it. We started to live with each other for half a week only. When we see each other, we travel, have fun, get sexually adventurous, play games. And when she's not here, I can go back to my introverted self, focus on getting my life in order and doing work.

During the time I've been knowing her, I came to know her as a sweet, smart, caring, cute person I can trust. I feel comfortable around her – if I get the me-time once in a while. She frequently gives me wise advice. I think we love each other – we certainly say so to each other.

The paradise is not going to last, however. In a month, her internship is over and she will go to study on the other side of the world. It will take her two years to complete her studies and we are not sure how it is going to work for us – but she says she's ready to wait.

I have a problem, however. With time, I started to look more and more at other girls. One side of me loves my girlfriend. The other half of me wants to sleep around with random women at loud parties. One side of me wants to build something we both can call home with my girl. The other side – wants to take a vacation and date around at exotic resorts.

I may be shy and introverted – but I'm also young and super-eager to explore around. I want that thrill of playing the game, exploring different people, going to bed with a stranger. I do not want to settle down yet. When my girl is not around, I install Tinder again. I do not chat with anyone – but I swipe and look at the pictures and fantasize. I keep telling myself that this is wrong and I won't find much more in other women, so there is little to explore. But I don't believe it. I can't help it. I want it.

One side of me doesn't want to lose a good person. The other side – doesn't want to lose several years of my youth. It just became too serious, too early, and I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

Definitely way too serious too fast. Your actions i.e being on tinder and fantasizing about other options reflects this.

If i was you i would end things. You clearly are not ready for a relationship currently. 

Stay single and you can explore, travel and do whatever the hell else you want to do without having the responsibility of another person on your shoulders. 

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, CuriousKite said:

and she'll get hurt. I'm afraid it'll be a trauma for her and she'll stop trusting people. Like, you can be in a very good relationship and it can suddenly end without a warning.

Of course she'll get hurt ! but she'll get over it and she'll meet someone else. We all get our heart broken at some point and we survive and move on. Like you she'll learn and get better at life. 

Once again you're thinking of yourself first. You're afraid of breaking up because it will make you feel sh&tty to hurt her. Grab your courage and do the right thing. Set her free so she can meet the right man.