Bluesky00 Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Awhile back I met this guy on tinder, we chatted on there for a few days before meeting up. He told me how cute I was, etc, etc. I picked the place where we should meet, it was a game court, pickle ball place, there was food, and a bar. He told me he was socially awkward, no big deal. We we first met, he gave me like a half hug, which I hugged him back, then I had some nervous laughter, after that he ask me , “what?” I said nothing. From that point, he seemed nervous, he asked if I was hungry I told him no and hoped he would take the lead, he asked what I wanted to do, I said we can talk/hang out. I figured he would want to play the life size checkers game or sit somewhere privately and have a drink. Not sure what was wrong with him, but he said, “sorry, I’m leaving.” I’m like wth? This is the first time ever I met a guy online that actually bailed on me during a first meeting. In the past, I would meet a guy and we would hang out and talk, and the guy was willing to sit through it and even if I never heard back from the guy after, he made the most of it. Geez. Not sure if it was because this guy was socially awkward? Or he thought I laughed at him? I mean, I’m glad I said that I wasn’t hungry or else he would’ve bailed on me while I was eating. That’s why I never like to have “dinner” when first meeting.
SumGuy Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 That is a WTH moment. I’m thinking his social anxiety is through the roof or there is something else going on, that made him nervous just to date at all...and having nothing to do with you. Hang out and talk is pretty much exactly what you do on the first meet. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) I'm actually kinda shocked a guy like that could get an actual date....I think i'd be more composed if I came home to find my house burnt down or had an IRS audit.. He must be a hell of a good looking dude, ....wow.. TFY Edited June 15, 2020 by thefooloftheyear 1
Miss Spider Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 He sounds like a male version of me. And I want to say that yes he is probably very awkward and also he was not feeling it completely. 1
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 15, 2020 Author Posted June 15, 2020 He was average looking, he looked like Ron Weasley from Harry Potter for real. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Yep this is me. Will you say that your pics are accurate or do you use a lot of filter? I hope you do not take this the wrong way
basil67 Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Poor guy. It’s hard to imagine what must have been happening in his head for him to have done that. 2 1
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 For a socially awkward person that kind of game place with so much going on may have been overwhelming. You may never know why he left. All you know is that he did. IMO, that's all you need to know to never speak to him again. Next. 1
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 15, 2020 Author Posted June 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Yep this is me. Will you say that your pics are accurate or do you use a lot of filter? I hope you do not take this the wrong way My pics are accurate. And I’m into the nerdy guys. 1 1
SumGuy Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 10 minutes ago, Bluesky00 said: He was average looking, he looked like Ron Weasley from Harry Potter for real. Did you name he who should not be named? Muggles make that mistake all the time 1 1 1
Miss Spider Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Okay. Then he probably just freaked out in his head. His awkwardness or shyness didn’t allow him to properly articulate do you how he was feeling, but he felt cornered and trapped. . So he just dipped 1
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 15, 2020 Author Posted June 15, 2020 Who knows. Before we met, he was really forward through chat and some of what he said was suggestive, like really flirty typical things a guy would talk through text/chat.
poppyfields Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: Poor guy. It’s hard to imagine what must have been happening in his head for him to have done that. I was thinking same. I remember once feeling so anxious and nervous, I broke out in a cold sweat. I started panicking and wanted to run out, but my date was super nice and understanding and I eventually calmed down. I had actually forgotten about that experience till reading this thread. But yeah it's anxiety and OP I don't think it was about you. 1 1
poppyfields Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Bluesky00 said: Who knows. Before we met, he was really forward through chat and some of what he said was suggestive, like really flirty typical things a guy would talk through text/chat. Speaking via chat or text is way different than in person though. Like way different. Edited June 15, 2020 by poppyfields 3
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Could it have been covid related? I ran out of an event yesterday because I was so freaked out by all the people not practicing good social distance & not wearing masks. The amount stress I would have experienced in the high touch surface contact area like the place you describe might have been too much for him 1
Author Bluesky00 Posted June 15, 2020 Author Posted June 15, 2020 13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Could it have been covid related? I ran out of an event yesterday because I was so freaked out by all the people not practicing good social distance & not wearing masks. The amount stress I would have experienced in the high touch surface contact area like the place you describe might have been too much for him No, this was before covid! Like months before a pandemic even hit. I was just thinking about the one time bailing that happened with this guy and if guys do this a lot..lesson learned
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Can't say that I have heard of a real life experience where this happened. I used to listen to a morning radio program where they did a skit called blown off. I seem to remember a caller who described his date just bolting. That was one of the few cases where the couple went out again. Turns out, a few minutes into her date, the poor girl looked up to see her own father on a date with a woman not her mother / his wife. Having caught dad in the affair, she freaked & ran out of the restaurant but then was too embarrassed to call the guy she ditched once she calmed down. 1
Miss Spider Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) I used to do it quite a bit. All times I felt really bad telling the guy I wasn’t interested on the date. Usually, you just sit there and pull through. But sometimes anxiety kicked in and I panicked. I wonder how long the date was actually. Because the only times I ever did this is when I had stayed for coffee or something a good half hour, but it was clear that the date was going to go on even longer and I couldn’t do it I am actually talking to one of the guys that I dipped out on a first coffee date with. We’re talking about meeting up again. So you never know Edited June 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough
poppyfields Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Just goes to show ya d0nnivain, things are often not what they appear to be. I suppose that doesn't help the anxious over-thinkers, but I try to tell myself this anyway. 1
simpycurious Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 48 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Could it have been covid related? I ran out of an event yesterday because I was so freaked out by all the people not practicing good social distance & not wearing masks. The amount stress I would have experienced in the high touch surface contact area like the place you describe might have been too much for him I think most things are NOW covid related even if they truly aren't.........it's a darn good excuse. Most guys have enough decency to NOT bail even if they are not into someone they at least "ride out" the date. 1 1
chillii Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 Being that awkward , is tripled if he also feels even less comfortable around a particular person on top of his usual awkwardness So sorry to say but you were one of those people . lt's not about you personally he just felt straight away there was zero connection between you so he just took off. Try to forget about it , it happens , it's no reflection on you at all, you didn't do anything wrong , it's just his thing not everyone can just fake it to get through.
poppyfields Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) I'm wondering, could it not be the opposite? That he really really liked her, felt intimidated, started anxiously overthinking, racing thoughts, began to panic and that's why he bolted? I've heard of that happening too. Men (and women) who fear relationships and commitment will sometimes do this. It's anxiety.. Edited June 15, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Fresh_Start Posted June 15, 2020 Posted June 15, 2020 He's probably very insecure and thinks that you laughed at him. That could have sent what little self-confidence he'd managed to muster for the date into a tailspin until his social anxiety overwhelmed him. Or maybe he just really hates checkers. 2 1
DarrenB Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 2 hours ago, Bluesky00 said: He was average looking, he looked like Ron Weasley from Harry Potter for real. Ron Weasley was definitely an extrovert so I guess that waives off the thoughts of dating a celebrity People that are socially awkward will generally find it hard to interact with 1 person they might know or have some form of relations with, but because this is a different scenario with it being a date with a stranger I can understand his tentativeness. Don't think into it too much and most certainly don't feel as if you were the problem, t'was just merely a mis-match
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