Jump to content

Hooked up then got ghosted


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted
9 hours ago, jess060191 said:

Lmao somebody had to say... but considering how quickly he climaxed, I would say that is debatable. 

Opinions are in the eye of the beholder. Do not take it to heart. The beauty of it is you can choose what advice you take or leave. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Alexa 95 said:

I didnt say after a message of clarity anyone should then go running after the person.

It may help to know regardless. 

I'm going to respect your opinion . That works for you. I went out with a man at the beginning of the virus. He was a terrible kisser and he tried to have sex which I was not interested in. He never initiated messages with me after wards. I went out with him because I was just rejected by someone who's oppinion I valued a bit too much and I wanted to feel attractive again. I thought he would be messaging me and initiating more of a connection but it ended at home Depot with me looking for a measuring tape and him looking for lumber. I really didn't care why as I went back to sorting myself out. 

In my experience, there is connection and chemistry between two people and you either have it or you don't. If I have to go out with a man and it takes time to pick up feelings then I'm not interested. I'd have to pick up feelings and then attempt something with the man. That's just me. 

If a man felt chemistry with me then he wouldn't be looking for someone else right? I just chop it down to there wasn't enough chemistry and move on. 

Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

I'm going to respect your opinion . That works for you. I went out with a man at the beginning of the virus. He was a terrible kisser and he tried to have sex which I was not interested in. He never initiated messages with me after wards. I went out with him because I was just rejected by someone who's oppinion I valued a bit too much and I wanted to feel attractive again. I thought he would be messaging me and initiating more of a connection but it ended at home Depot with me looking for a measuring tape and him looking for lumber. I really didn't care why as I went back to sorting myself out. 

In my experience, there is connection and chemistry between two people and you either have it or you don't. If I have to go out with a man and it takes time to pick up feelings then I'm not interested. I'd have to pick up feelings and then attempt something with the man. That's just me. 

If a man felt chemistry with me then he wouldn't be looking for someone else right? I just chop it down to there wasn't enough chemistry and move on. 

Fair enough. Cant argue that. But dont you think feelings can develop though.

Speaking for myself its very rare i meet someone and magically theres sparks flying everywhere. Lol

Edited by Alexa 95
Posted

Also possible he just wasn’t that attracted to the OP? Took time to get an erection and then wanted it over with ASAP? 
 

Not saying that’s the reason, but nobody’s a mind reader. Also doesn’t really matter does it? Whatever the reason, it’s done now, so time to move on.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted
6 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

OP, you haven't answered my earlier question  - did you somehow make it obvious to him that were turned off and offended? 

No way.... I still wanted to get laid regardless lol

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

There are so many different reasons for ghosting, it's hard to know for sure.

I've had a couple men in my support group admit to ghosting to not burn bridges and keep the door open in case one day he changes his mind.

I've read soooo many stories that would suggest this is true - stories of men suddenly disappearing or stop calling/texting and then resurfacing later.  Sometimes months later!

Everyone who does it has their own reasons, all justifiable to them.

jess, in your case, not sure he owes you a reason, does he?

It was just the one hookup, how did you guys leave it?

What I do think is rude is him ignoring your two texts.

At the very least, show some courtesy and respond, even if only to say he changed his mind about the FB situation. 

At least then you'd know and wouldn't wondering if you'll ever him from again!

Since he didn't respond, you may hear from him again, it's been known to happen!

If/when he does, see how you feel then.  :D

 

Edited by poppyfields
  • Like 2
Posted
18 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I could 

I could be wrong, but it might be different for guys.  Like they want to forget the night ever happened!  

Cuts straight to their masculine sexual core.

Any guys want to confirm that?  Or not? 

 

I don't know if this has been answered or not, but I've had some occasions where the shuttle launched before the end of the countdown and I was barely phased by it.  It typically only occurred when I was super horny or with an extremely sexy and attractive woman.  It's easy to recover from with honesty, confidence, and a sense of humor: "You're so insanely gorgeous I couldn't hold it in any longer.  How about we go again and this time I'll see if I can last longer than 5 seconds?" or "That was just the appetizer before the main course.  Hope you brought your appetite."

I can't speak for everyone, but if this guy felt emasculated because the gun went off before it left the holster then he probably wouldn't have been a good match for the OP anyways.    

  • Like 3
Posted

Instead of the guy saying "I'm not looking for a relaitonship" which turns off women, he used a different excuse "I am sterile". As the norm, if ya good looking enough you can almost get what you want and he used that to his advantage. He just wanted sex and he got it. As for the flubbered erection, meh, just may have been a bad night, like getting a not so good pizza, it was still alright.

Tip: guys don't message you back because they don't want to, period. His intention right from the beginning was a one time thing. Time to move on.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

The truth is a virtual stranger that you had sex with or someone you’ve talked to for a minute really owes you nothing. I think what a lot of people need to understand is that no answer is an answer. No response is telling you more than 1000 words could ever. Just appreciate the ONS for what it was worth and move on. Sounds like it wasn’t even that great anyway....

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 3
Posted

Man was top 10%, woman wasn't, it's that simple.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I can speak from experience I have this issue wen I first met someone I'm anxious and have trouble sometimes getting it up not because I'm not attracted it's just the anxiousness compounds it and makes it worse..then after the 2nd or 3 Rd time as long as there supportive I relax and I'm full on good after that lol for real always had that issue. Then I can fullfil my partner after that no issues maybe was the same wth him 

  • Like 2
Posted
On 6/15/2020 at 11:42 AM, BreakOnThrough said:

Man was top 10%, woman wasn't, it's that simple.

Maybe? I mean he's the one who approached her. 🤷

Just logically, why would a top 10% man have to stoop to pursuing a date with a woman who was so unattractive (by comparison?) that he literally couldn't get hard?

 

  • Thanks 1
Posted (edited)

Isn’t it interesting how women presume to know all about a man’s ups and downs... and who gets credit or blame. I think I have a new item for my dealbreaker list. If she knows more about it than I do... next

Edited by salparadise
Posted
4 hours ago, salparadise said:

Isn’t it interesting how women presume to know all about a man’s ups and downs... and who gets credit or blame. I think I have a new item for my dealbreaker list. If she knows more about it than I do... next

I don't think anyone is presuming anything...probably at least 10 entirely different theories have been put forth on this thread, running from emotional to physical to attraction or not, to timing, and so on.

×
×
  • Create New...