Alexa 95 Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, ladybug2021 said: Exactly. Unfortunately an experience such as this is part and parcel of OLD. Next him and that's all you need to do Edited June 14, 2020 by Alexa 95 1
Author ladybug2021 Posted June 14, 2020 Author Posted June 14, 2020 7 hours ago, Alexa 95 said: Unfortunately an experience such as this is part and parcel of OLD. Next him and that's all you need to do Yeap, that’s all it is and what I need to do. He was the one being inappropriate to me, and then feeling offended when I called him out on it saying ‘I slapped him in the face’!? Well you deserved it dude. Block and delete, this one doesn’t even deserve an explanation. 2 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 11 hours ago, ladybug2021 said: He said that me saying I didn't like what he said was a "slap in the face" to him, that's how he took it. Well, then he shouldn't be making sexual innuendos before he even meets a woman. This is how you distinguish random "males" from gentlemen. 4
Author ladybug2021 Posted June 14, 2020 Author Posted June 14, 2020 54 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Well, then he shouldn't be making sexual innuendos before he even meets a woman. This is how you distinguish random "males" from gentlemen. Yes exactly!
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 First impressions count! If it doesn't feel right, then it's not.
Miss Spider Posted June 14, 2020 Posted June 14, 2020 (edited) Yes, they were innuendo. The way I look at it is: 99.99% of guys that messaged you on a dating app to meet probably found your pictures hot and also want to sleep with you sooner rather than later. you guys are not two people that met and bonded through work or a hobby or mutual friends. Your picture was his primary motivator. However...I think that’s very sad to act so desperate before you even meet. Pictures can be inaccurate. You guys can just not be vibing on a personal level. He’s putting the cart way before the horse because he’s thirsty. Complete turn off in my opinion. Edited June 14, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author ladybug2021 Posted June 15, 2020 Author Posted June 15, 2020 16 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Yes, they were innuendo. The way I look at it is: 99.99% of guys that messaged you on a dating app to meet probably found your pictures hot and also want to sleep with you sooner rather than later. you guys are not two people that met and bonded through work or a hobby or mutual friends. Your picture was his primary motivator. However...I think that’s very sad to act so desperate before you even meet. Pictures can be inaccurate. You guys can just not be vibing on a personal level. He’s putting the cart way before the horse because he’s thirsty. Complete turn off in my opinion. I get that, and that guys are very visual and can get really excited about someone and make a whole movie in their heads. But that doesn't mean telling the movie out loud to the other person, especially before meeting for the first time. We might not even feel attracted to each other when we meet and then it's a weird situation. Better to wait and meet and see how we feel in person. So yes it sounds desperate and immature. 2
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 On 6/13/2020 at 3:00 PM, ladybug2021 said: ...Was he really making sexual innuendos and was I wrong for feeling it was too much too soon?... Yes he was and no you are not wrong. In my view he was basically trying to see if you were up for first date sex, the devil emoji was there to drive home the message. Sleazy in my book and pretty stupid before you even met. 1
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 On 6/14/2020 at 3:17 AM, ladybug2021 said: ...He was the one being inappropriate to me, and then feeling offended when I called him out on it saying ‘I slapped him in the face’!? Well you deserved it dude. ... So he doubled down on being a douche-bag, classic (in a bad way) and pretty much unsurprising. Good you blocked him. 1
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 On 6/13/2020 at 6:11 PM, ladybug2021 said: He’s male so what to expect?? To behave like a proper gentleman and have some respect. I'll be even harsher, you expect a man not a thirsty boy. 2 1
contel3 Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 I don't understand men who act like that. Even if a woman was open to some casual fun, comments like that before meeting are just off-putting and creepy. Some of my favorites are guys on apps messaging you like "hey wanna f***?"......well, yeah, but certainly not you. 1 1
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 14 minutes ago, contel3 said: I don't understand men who act like that. Even if a woman was open to some casual fun, comments like that before meeting are just off-putting and creepy. Some of my favorites are guys on apps messaging you like "hey wanna f***?"......well, yeah, but certainly not you. What you don't take that as confident and alpha? Just go to any PUA site and you can hear the whole explanation of why they act like that...and it is not so much that they all come right out and say stuff like that...but they share the same world view / "factual" basis that leads to that being consider just a thing.....warning you may need years of meds and therapy after reading some of that stuff.
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 SumGuy -- that is why all that PUA stuff is nonsense. Confidence is great. Being a disgusting pig & demeaning sex is bad, very, very bad. When you are just getting to know someone less is more. Be subtle. 3
Hopeful30 Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 On 6/13/2020 at 3:00 PM, ladybug2021 said: I met a guy a few days ago on a dating app. We start chatting on WhatsApp and things were going well and he invited me to meet up tomorrow Sunday. But this morning we were texting and he started saying he looks at my photos and feels like he wants to cuddle me and that he likes to cuddle in the morning when he wakes up, before the shower and after the shower... and then sent some of these emojis: So I got it that the "cuddle" was basically sex. I told him that those are too much details and especially intimate details when we haven't even met and I don't really like it. He apologised to me but after that has barely talked again and I don't know if he still wants to meet tomorrow or not, but I am losing interest. Was he really making sexual innuendos and was I wrong for feeling it was too much too soon? I want to feel that a guy wants to know me before we even get to that part, and especially meet in person first. What he said just makes me feel like he sees me as an object that he wants to use for his pleasure. I am in the same boat girl!!! I am learning more and more that men have little restraint when it comes to sex, which is also a huge turn off for me. My biggest issue has always been that men make sexual advances way too soon. The fact that conversation dwindled after means he likely lost interest or felt too rejected to carry on (lol like 5 year old boys). I would wait to see if he says anything about your date Sunday, otherwise just let it be.
kendahke Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 (edited) On 6/13/2020 at 3:00 PM, ladybug2021 said: Was he really making sexual innuendos and was I wrong for feeling it was too much too soon? he was taking your temperature to see if you were dtf. This happening before you're even in close proximity tells me that he has built up a ideal of you in his head and that's who he wants to cuddle and have sex with--not you. That's why he recoiled like he did---you telling him that shattered his ideal of who he built you up to be, so he ran away. Edited June 16, 2020 by kendahke 2
elaine567 Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 3 hours ago, SumGuy said: pretty stupid before you even met. I guess he didn't want to waste time with someone who was not up for early sex. His "feels like he wants to cuddle me and that he likes to cuddle in the morning when he wakes up, before the shower and after the shower... and then sent some of these emojis: " is in effect a filter. 3
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: I guess he didn't want to waste time with someone who was not up for early sex. His "feels like he wants to cuddle me and that he likes to cuddle in the morning when he wakes up, before the shower and after the shower... and then sent some of these emojis: " is in effect a filter. Indeed, a filter to make sure you get very little sex. Why I think it is pretty stupid, but a great way for the woman to not waste her time on such chaff.
SumGuy Posted June 16, 2020 Posted June 16, 2020 3 hours ago, d0nnivain said: SumGuy -- that is why all that PUA stuff is nonsense. Confidence is great. Being a disgusting pig & demeaning sex is bad, very, very bad. When you are just getting to know someone less is more. Be subtle. Oh I agree, it seems to me PUA is all about how these guys tell themselves being a pig = alpha and then blame lack of success on feminism, lesbians, white knights, etc., etc. 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 17, 2020 Posted June 17, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, SumGuy said: Oh I agree, it seems to me PUA is all about how these guys tell themselves being a pig = alpha and then blame lack of success on feminism, lesbians, white knights, etc., etc. This is what's weird about PUA. It's like, if it doesn't work, it's never because the actual system of rules doesn't work. Somebody or something else is always to blame. Never PUA itself. I think because it offers such a dream for some guys - get "9s and 10s" to beg you for no-strings sex and have all the other guys admire and be jealous of you - that its followers just refuse to believe that maybe that's a lie. So they doggedly hang on despite logic and literal observation - i.e. no, that stuff doesn't work unless 1. you're well above average gorgeous and rich, or 2. you're "pulling" absolute train wrecks who want to be miserable and abused...not "9s and 10s," or 3. you're some stranger on the internet *claiming* that it works for you, even if you're like that one guru who was discovered to literally be living, sexless and alone in - yes - his mom's house. Real people? The average person? Well...I mean look around...you'll see apparent physical mismatches but overwhelmingly more will be average people with average people, happy and into one another. It's amazing that PUA wannabes hang on anyway, no matter how many times the whole thing fails. Because it's that dream. It is hard to let a dream die. It's easier to blame everything else under the sun instead. Dangerously, the blame usually falls in that "target" herself. He did everything his PUA guru said to do but she still didn't put out...what's wrong with her? (Never what's wrong with that horrible advice he's been swallowing)...and more and more women mysteriously also refuse to fall into line with what that guru PROMISED the result would be (bishes!!)...so what's the answer? Oh, that's right. Hate women. It's mind-boggling. P.s. White knights are hot. Edited June 17, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1
SumGuy Posted June 17, 2020 Posted June 17, 2020 7 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: This is what's weird about PUA. It's like, if it doesn't work, it's never because the actual system of rules doesn't work. Somebody or something else is always to blame. Never PUA itself. It's mind-boggling. P.s. White knights are hot. Well that is how you get them to keep coming back for more...an old sales trick....along with create a problem then sell the "solution." Best to pick a problem that can never be solved because either it doesn't exist or you keep making sure it doesn't go away...the false problem approach. I digress. It's mind boggling but there is a sucker born every minute...the key is to make sure they never think critically and see the world only the way you tell them to see it, or my other favorite expression in this context...you can't con an honest man...it's easy to bamboozle people who want short cuts and a simple and easy answer. P.S. I prefer nights in white satin that never reach an end myself 1
manfrombelow Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: I met a guy a few days ago on a dating app. We start chatting on WhatsApp and things were going well and he invited me to meet up tomorrow Sunday. [/quote] 1. So he set up a real date with you. That's good. On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: But this morning we were texting and he started saying he looks at my photos and feels like he wants to cuddle me and that he likes to cuddle in the morning when he wakes up, before the shower and after the shower... and then sent some of these emojis: [/quote] 2. So he texted before the real date comes up? That's not good. And he tried to make sexual talks? That's not good. On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: So I got it that the "cuddle" was basically sex. [/quote] 3. Correct! On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: I told him that those are too much details and especially intimate details when we haven't even met and I don't really like it. [/quote] 4. Of course his "move" made you uncomfortable. This guy has no games, is needy, clingy and so sexually desperate - which is not cool and sexy at all. On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: He apologised to me but after that has barely talked again and I don't know if he still wants to meet tomorrow or not, but I am losing interest. [/quote] 5. Of course he still wants to come to the date, but now he has a massive problem: You lost interest. On 6/14/2020 at 2:00 AM, ladybug2021 said: Was he really making sexual innuendos 6. Yes, obviously. and was I wrong for feeling it was too much too soon? 7. No you're not wrong.
Fletch Lives Posted June 18, 2020 Posted June 18, 2020 The op is right, and that's how most women feel. One of the biggest problems in dating is men moving too fast and talking about sex. Most mature women prefer a gentleman. 2
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