elfamale Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 (edited) I’ve posted before about this girl last year, but life happens and things got in the way, so we both haven’t had much chance to meet up until early this year, then COVID hit and so here I am again. We’re still in touch via texting and we met up few days ago for breakfast at a cafe, first time in a few months. She was happy to see me and gave me a hug when we met, chat about what’s been happening etc. Went home, texted her that it was good to see her again and she’s looking great. She replied thanks, waiting to have a drink with me when I’m ready (we’ve been talking about having some drinks at my place but due to the nature of my work and COVID restrictions, it’ll be some months before my routine returns to normal and have visitors over). I replied with a kissy face heart emoji for the first time, which I’ve never sent to her before. Her reply was a picture of my breakfast (she loves taking food pictures) captioned “looks good! You gotta start getting used to it! “ (I pretended to whine about the picture at breakfast because I just wanted to eat haha). I am hoping l’m heading in the right direction with her? Edited June 12, 2020 by elfamale grammar
Versacehottie Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 yes i think you are... another positive way to view her comment is that you need to get used to it because she hopes there will be more breakfasts for you two in the future. Sounds good. Good luck 1
Fox Sake Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 It doesn’t sound like you need any advice here buddy. Just sounds like you need some reassurance that things aren’t going the wrong way. Which to be honest it doesn’t sound like it. So you can go to sleep easy now. Hold off on the kissy face emojis now until you get something back that warrants it. ..like a kissy face emoji or something similar. Damn and I said you didn’t need advice but I’m going to give you some anyways - cos you guys just started talking again. Don’t hand out all the compliments one after another. Don’t get too mushy in your messages. if you do get mushy make sure it’s well founded and certain it will be met with a similar reply. If you don’t get a reply that gives any indication of her attraction then don’t push it. It will come in time. Just hold back a bit , tease her , and enjoy the company and chatting 1
Versacehottie Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Agree with Fox sake about being a little careful or not overdoing the kissy face emojis or at least mix it in with some cheeky, teasing stuff. Here's one reason why: it's pretty confident (even a little cocky and definitely cute teasing) when she said to you that you need to get used to it. That's a confident statement: like she knows she is worth your time and she is unapologetic for who she is. Pretty attractive, right? Gotta meet her at her level with what you bring. Not by being someone you are not but in your way. I don't think showering her with compliments is the way (not that you did) but she's obviously someone who appreciates banter and confidence. IMO, those type of people search for their equal and like a touch of a challenge. Don't overthink it but just don't get too mushy. Good luck 1
Fox Sake Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Just now, alphamale said: dude this chick is your friend and that is all That is not going to do his headspace any favours... I think that’s a destructive comment at this early stage. The guy is excited and we don’t know anymore than what he’s said. It’s impossible to say how she views him. But I really hope it goes somewhere cos he obviously wants that. He just needs to play the game a little better for the time being and be cool. You can say that if it all falls apart, or with a valid in your face, “we are just friends” but I think that’s a massive gamble to assume she only sees him that way just because she didn’t play back to his endearment. I hate to think how many people have failed to chase someone or dig themselves into a dark place for some early bad advice on here 1
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: That is not going to do his headspace any favours... I think that’s a destructive comment at this early stage. The guy is excited and we don’t know anymore than what he’s said. It’s impossible to say how she views him. But I really hope it goes somewhere cos he obviously wants that. He just needs to play the game a little better for the time being and be cool. You can say that if it all falls apart, or with a valid in your face, “we are just friends” but I think that’s a massive gamble to assume she only sees him that way just because she didn’t play back to his endearment. I hate to think how many people have failed to chase someone or dig themselves into a dark place for some early bad advice on here People tend to be more negative than positive on this site from the threads I've seen. Edited June 13, 2020 by Alexa 95 1
Fox Sake Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Just now, Alexa 95 said: People tend to be more negative than positive on this site fom the threads I've seen. I think it comes with age or a generation, I’m unsure Edited June 13, 2020 by Fox Sake 1
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Just now, Fox Sake said: It comes with age i think im one of the younger ones on here!. And LOL Edited June 13, 2020 by Alexa 95 1
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elfamale said: I’ve posted before about this girl last year, but life happens and things got in the way, so we both haven’t had much chance to meet up until early this year, then COVID hit and so here I am again. We’re still in touch via texting and we met up few days ago for breakfast at a cafe, first time in a few months. She was happy to see me and gave me a hug when we met, chat about what’s been happening etc. Went home, texted her that it was good to see her again and she’s looking great. She replied thanks, waiting to have a drink with me when I’m ready (we’ve been talking about having some drinks at my place but due to the nature of my work and COVID restrictions, it’ll be some months before my routine returns to normal and have visitors over). I replied with a kissy face heart emoji for the first time, which I’ve never sent to her before. Her reply was a picture of my breakfast (she loves taking food pictures) captioned “looks good! You gotta start getting used to it! “ (I pretended to whine about the picture at breakfast because I just wanted to eat haha). I am hoping l’m heading in the right direction with her? Yeah you are. Don't worry about it. Just go with the flow for now. Are you going to meet her again? I mean when? You must really like her if you were posting about her since last year Edited June 13, 2020 by Alexa 95
Author elfamale Posted June 13, 2020 Author Posted June 13, 2020 Thanks guys. Yes, I do really like this girl, but because she is very different to other girls I had dated in the past, I just don’t want to stuff things up. I am usually very confident and other girls will outrightly flirt with me, so it’s clear how those girls felt about me. This girl, on the other hand, is very shy and doesn’t express her emotions very much, so it’s taken me a bit of nudging to get her to come out of her shell. She’s got a good career and is very independent, neither is she clingy. We text maybe once a week or fortnight as I work really long hours, and I’m just exhausted by the time I reach home at night. Even on my days off, I still have meetings and studying to do, so I haven’t really had much time to be texting her too often. In saying that, she has never been angry with me about the lack of communication or bombing my whatsapp when I didn’t reply, but asked if I managed to get a good rest or cheering me on to finish my assignments then leave me alone till I’m done, whilst in the past, my exs had always picked a fight with me over my slow responses (I could take days to text back when I am really swamped with work) or lack of response (sometimes I don’t reply to texts that I feel doesn’t require a response). I haven’t decided when to meet her again as my schedule is very uncertain at the moment, plus our days off currently don’t match, so I have to wait till my work settles back to a more normal routine, which could be a couple of months. She has indicated she’s looking forward to drinks even though I know she’s allergic to alcohol.
Versacehottie Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Keep the momentum going even if you are working and studying a lot. It's obvious that you don't have to do a ton & that she is very understanding, supportive and independent. But you don't want bad or confused feelings to creep in when you've had a good date and then don't keep the momentum going. Personally, i think even if it is in tiny increments, there should always be some progress. For example in this case, you just had a great date so in essence you are closer than you were a week ago (emotionally), hence kissy face; therefore that's good momentum that you should capitalize on. And sometimes anything less indicates a lack of interest on your part (or time to handle a relationship). You want to give a hint of what you would be like in a relationship and that good interactions between the two of you fosters closeness. There is a psychological phenomena as it relates to dating and likability that people like WHEN THEIR EFFORTS PAY OFF. Not explaining it well but basically if you were goo-goo gaga over here just because she is pretty and showed you little of her personality and she put in no effort because it was in first meeting on street in first minute etc, often that falls flat. However, if she put in effort as she did, showed you her personality, (and there is compatibility which it seems obvious there is), she will want it to pay off. And she will be more bonded to you for having put in effort in order to gain your attention as well. So it follows that you have to give her the "payoff", or a little more momentum than before. BTW, you can still set a pace you are comfortable with and can manage. Hope this makes sense. oh, and just cause you don't know your schedule doesn't mean you can't be in contact--you can because your rapport is growing so just reach out with something from the date or something you were thinking about that you think she would enjoy. It's actually good on the date to plant seeds of innocuous stuff that you can follow up with--like something you have in the upcoming week or a show you plan to watch, some future event or ask her about hers and then follow up on the seed you planted because you've already plant a reason to reach out while on the date. Sometimes you can just get in touch to toss around ideas for the next date without setting the actual day/time. She sounds understanding so i wouldn't worry about not knowing yet when you will be free exactly. The important part is to show you are interested (haha without overdoing as we said above). Good luck
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