Deaana Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 What would you do if your boyfriend says to you "You should be happy to be with me because if we weren't together, you would have ended up with someone dull and inferior"
Amanda141 Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Ciao ciao! I would not stand someone so self-centric and full of himself
Foxhall Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 I suppose you could randomly bring up tomorrow, that he is lucky to be with you too. hold your ground always
poppyfields Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 It would depend on what type of dynamic we have. My bf and I tease and joke with each other all the time, so if he said that to me, I would assume him to be joking, acting cocky, and would play along. "Yeah I know, you're the absolute bees knees and I'd be totally lost without you"!!!!! LOL haha 1 1
simpycurious Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 ^^Your BF would be sooooooo wrong. OP, if your BF was joking/teasing laugh it off. I am constantly playing around and teasing but never with a malice intent. If he is doing it to "keep you in your place" or demean you then that is another matter all together. If it is the latter, he is trying to CONTROL you IMO which is crazy behavior. Only you know what his true intent is..............
LuckyM Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Lol. That's so funny because it takes audacity to tell you. Too egotistical. Ask him why he is any better and he will lie
poppyfields Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 1 hour ago, Deaana said: What would you do if your boyfriend says to you "You should be happy to be with me because if we weren't together, you would have ended up with someone dull and inferior" Are you sure he was being serious? I can't imagine a man, your bf, saying that and actually being serious. Just my take. 1 1
basil67 Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Poppy is right. I'd first ascertain whether he was joking or serious. If he was joking, I'd tell him it's the other way around and he's lucky to have me. If he was serious, I'd probably say something like "well, someone's got a few too many tickets on himself" (I don't know if that translates, but it's a way of telling him that he's up himself. And I don't know if that translates either ) 2
simpycurious Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 6 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Are you sure he was being serious? I can't imagine a man, your bf, saying that and actually being serious. Just my take. If the dude said anything remotely resembling what the OP said then he is a TOTAL D-bag.......if he was serious he's trying to control her by belittling her he needs to be belittled
Author Deaana Posted June 12, 2020 Author Posted June 12, 2020 50 minutes ago, poppyfields said: It would depend on what type of dynamic we have. My bf and I tease and joke with each other all the time, so if he said that to me, I would assume him to be joking, acting cocky, and would play along. "Yeah I know, you're the absolute bees knees and I'd be totally lost without you"!!!!! LOL haha We do that too, but I don't think he was joking this time. Well peobably a bit, but he thinks I liked someone dull and annoying. ( Actually I didn't.) But because of that he makes fun of my taste, even though he is mu choice, so basically he is making fun of himself
Author Deaana Posted June 12, 2020 Author Posted June 12, 2020 36 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Are you sure he was being serious? I can't imagine a man, your bf, saying that and actually being serious. Just my take. Well not sure if he was serious. I said that to him too but I joke. This was the first time he told that to me and the way he said that I thought he was being serious.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 That's not even funny as a joke. I've learned to be very wary of people who have too high an opinion of themselves. If he doesn't cherish you, it's unlikely to be satisfying. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: Prove him wrong by saying... "Bye!" This. Of course I'm snotty, so I'm sure I'd say, cheerfully , "I know, and how can you stand it? I think you've suffered long enough. Goodbye and go get that dream girl!" Then...gone before he could even answer. After all, I'd be doing both of us a favor! Edited June 13, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Deaana said: Well not sure if he was serious. I said that to him too but I joke. This was the first time he told that to me and the way he said that I thought he was being serious. Wait, you've been saying that to him? That he's lucky to have you and so on? Or am I misunderstanding? Because if you've been giving him this then I'm not surprised he got sick of it and gave it back, you know? 1 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Deaana said: We do that too, but I don't think he was joking this time. Well peobably a bit, but he thinks I liked someone dull and annoying. ( Actually I didn't.) But because of that he makes fun of my taste, even though he is mu choice, so basically he is making fun of himself I saw a mug once, "Never make fun of your girlfriend's choices. After all, you're one of them." 4
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Deaana said: What would you do if your boyfriend says to you "You should be happy to be with me because if we weren't together, you would have ended up with someone dull and inferior" I would say bye. It sounds a little arrogant and narcissistic. 1
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Deaana said: Well not sure if he was serious. I said that to him too but I joke. This was the first time he told that to me and the way he said that I thought he was being serious. Ok well you sound arrogant and narcissistic then. If he gave it back to you what you worried about. 2
Author Deaana Posted June 13, 2020 Author Posted June 13, 2020 7 minutes ago, Alexa 95 said: Ok well you sound arrogant and narcissistic then. If he gave it back to you what you worried about. I'm worried because I've told him many times that I love him. I have done a lot and gone through a lot for him. And what I get? Just because I love him and I would do anything for us, doesn't mean I can 't find better. He is taking it all for weakness. That is what makes the matter worse.
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 1 minute ago, Deaana said: I'm worried because I've told him many times that I love him. I have done a lot and gone through a lot for him. And what I get? Just because I love him and I would do anything for us, doesn't mean I can 't find better. He is taking it all for weakness. That is what makes the matter worse. But then why did you tell him the same thing?
poppyfields Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) I think context is important here. We don't know how he said it. As a joke, tease, playful banter or serious, plus OP admitted she jokes about it herself! Deanna, I think you know what's going on here, not sure why the thread. This is your dynamic and when done right it can be fun! Playful, even if he did say with serious tone. I happen to like a little cocky from time to time. Sure beats the insecure whiners who take life so seriously all the time. Have fun with it, I hardly thinks this makes him an egotistical narcissist. My guess is he was playfully messing with you. Bottom line, we weren't there, we know neither your dynamic nor the context in which it was said. Which I think is important. Edited June 13, 2020 by poppyfields 1 1
Alexa 95 Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Deaana said: I'm worried because I've told him many times that I love him. I have done a lot and gone through a lot for him. And what I get? Just because I love him and I would do anything for us, doesn't mean I can 't find better. He is taking it all for weakness. That is what makes the matter worse. But you missed the point. If you said it to him first. Hes probably joking with you too. If he said it on his own accord? Its an entirely different situation. It all depends. Edited June 13, 2020 by Alexa 95
Author Deaana Posted June 13, 2020 Author Posted June 13, 2020 25 minutes ago, Alexa 95 said: But you missed the point. If you said it to him first. Hes probably joking with you too. If he said it on his own accord? Its an entirely different situation. It all depends. I have mentioned to him once or twice and actually I have said him "you can't live without me" while we were joking. I have never mentioned his taste if it is awful or not, and I have never said that only losers want to flirt with him. As I said, at some point it gets serious. And just because he is the first to me, doesn't mean I had no options before. It was my choice to be single. Just didn't want to.
Fox Sake Posted June 13, 2020 Posted June 13, 2020 Why are the important questions being ignored? Why did you used to say that to him? I hate to say it... he sounds insecure (rightfully so if his gf keeps telling him how lucky he is all the time, joking or not, it was at his emotional expense) Now he’s turned the phrase around on you cos it’s clearly hurting him and he doesn’t feel valued like he values you. You see it as arrogance . I see it as a power struggle for self respect. Not once have you tried to understand his feeling Or how a comment like that can effect someone , and it’s been pointed out to you and asked several times now. You just say you were joking whenever you said it, but he was serious. I think he probably was serious. As were you when you used to tell him the same thing. I think you’ve created this for yourself. If you think you can find better then might I be so bold as to ask why you are still with him? And even more to the point- why haven’t you actually discussed this with with him If it’s an issue? this is starting to sound like one of those habit relationships. Total speculation. Hope I’m not correct
Author Deaana Posted June 13, 2020 Author Posted June 13, 2020 7 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Why are the important questions being ignored? Why did you used to say that to him? I hate to say it... he sounds insecure (rightfully so if his gf keeps telling him how lucky he is all the time, joking or not, it was at his emotional expense) Now he’s turned the phrase around on you cos it’s clearly hurting him and he doesn’t feel valued like he values you. You see it as arrogance . I see it as a power struggle for self respect. Not once have you tried to understand his feeling Or how a comment like that can effect someone , and it’s been pointed out to you and asked several times now. You just say you were joking whenever you said it, but he was serious. I think he probably was serious. As were you when you used to tell him the same thing. I think you’ve created this for yourself. If you think you can find better then might I be so bold as to ask why you are still with him? And even more to the point- why haven’t you actually discussed this with with him If it’s an issue? this is starting to sound like one of those habit relationships. Total speculation. Hope I’m not correct He was cleaning the table for me and he said something about it and I said "you can't live without me". He is not stupid to understand that I was joking and being kind of ironic, because he was doing it for me. It's clear it was a joke. The one who is probably being insecure, is me. He said many times "how could you like him, he is dull. What an awful taste. Sometimes i think, why did I fall for you" and two times "losers flirt with you, see what you can get". And then "you can't find better". Who is making whom feel insecure?
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